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[Mikeside]

To truly understand BritGAF, first you must understand Britain. Britain consists England, Wales, Scotland (for now) and sometimes a bit of Ireland, but we try to ignore that because they get a bit bomby from time to time. The British have awful teeth, terrible food and loads of immigrants, but it's OK because they also have the NHS, Boris Johnson, Danny Dyer and the BBC, which has a proud history of institutionalized pedophilia which rivals even the Catholic Church.

The British are fiercely proud of their football teams. As you'd expect, BritGAF is no different and constant discussion about who is the best team will soon fill these pages.

An example of an typical discussion seen on BritGAF:

Millwall are totes the best team in the world. The way they kick a ball is far superior to other groups of eleven men on a field

Fuck off, you lousy jebend, Scunthorpe United could beat you three nil with eight players left on the pitch

You're both bang out of order & I've half a mind to give you a punch right in the face. Doncaster are the only team worth talking about in here. They'd beat Millwall and Scunthorpe United without breaking a sweat, you filthy cum guzzlers.

Other acceptable avenues of conversation include bulldogs, cricket (specifically debates about who is the best umpire), Shakespeare, Big Ben (little known fact: the biggest, but also the best Ben), Beefeaters, warm beer, Queen Elizabeth II, rain and especially morris dancing (an activity enjoyed by all of BritGAF and the main reason for all the meetups).

If you don't have anything to say about these topics, you'd best head on back over to Gaming Side, where you're free to discuss who the best Pokémon is or over to OT so you can discuss your long history of social & sexual failure.

For anyone left, please enjoy this community. In these pages you'll find some of the great British minds of our time.

If any of us could feel shame, we'd feel it for being on this list. Luckily when joining BritGAF you'll find that your sense of shame disappears & is replaced by the urge to overshare intimate details about your life!

You can all thank NinjaBoiX for assembling this rather snazzy list of when each of us victoriously emerged from our mother's vaginas!

8th January - Slowdive
11th January - woodsey1982/BGBW
14th January - Addnan
30th January - Guerrillas in the Mist
1st February - NinjaBoiX
6th February - IamMikeside
13th February - N7Commander95
20th February - Wunder
4th March - SuperSah/Vashetti
6th March - Inanna
14th March - Blink Me
16th March - Vereataes
18th March - Romez/alan666
19th March - Nerdkiller
26th March - Shane
5th April - CyanideStrike
6th April - Recall
7th April - Reknoc/Jedeye Sniv/Volotaire
9th April - SteveWD40
29th April - sploatee
30th April - wetflame
6th May - deli2000
11th May - Danj
22nd May - theaface
24th May - TCRS
29th May - shorty_symd
31st May - richisawesome
3rd June - Tarahiro
5th June - kyser73
8th June - Marc
9th June - Darren870
18th June - runlikehell
25th June - MrGlass
27th June - WraithBringer
6th July - Chopper
10th July - toweringinferno
12th July - Olliewilldie
19th July - Jordan91
27th July - Gumball
31st July - Son of D
4th August - cableathan
6th August - QuicheFontaine
7th August - TetraxShards
9th August - JonathanEx
17th August - afoni
27th August - Lollipop Dave
31st August - ittoryu
2nd September - TheHollowNight
6th September - Mark1
9th September - Doc_Beaker
15th September - Screaming Meat
23rd September - Kentpaul
24th September - phisheep
25th September - SovanJedi
27th September - 8bit
7th October - caffeinedreamer
14th October - Juicy Bob
23rd October - NandyRewman
31st October - donkey show
3rd November - Hot Coldman
7th November - Deaf Spacker
15th November - jufonuk
26th November - zorlaczerohero
27th November - dapperbandit
29th November - Snarfington
8th December - poshclown
13th December - Lirlord
15th December - SamRambles
16th December - Musha_Soturi
19th December - jimbor
20th December - Tashbrooke
28th December - Little Old Man

2014 BRITGAF ON TOUR BONUS EDITION
As the official Cliquiest Clique on GAF, we meet up quite a lot. As the year tails off, we've only got one main meet left, for Xmas. This will be in London and some kind of Christmas attire is mandatory.

Mikeside will also be having a house-warming in November, but you're probably not invited.

We're not a terribly organised group of people, but if you want to track us down, these might help!

BritGAF on Steam
BritGAF IRC
BritGAF Gaming IDs

That's right kids, you too can become a BritGAF celebrity! It all starts by filling in this handy form.

When is your birthday:
Where do you live:
Where are you from:
What do you do:
What is your quest:
Favourite actor/actress:
Favourite band/artist:
Favourite TV show:
Favourite crisps:
Favourite biscuit:
Least favourite Pokémon:
Stalactites or stalagmites:
How do you cut your sandwiches:

Cheers NinjaBoiX and BGBW, who's OTs I stole from heavily and without remorse.

 

[Deaf Spacker]

Hello there!

 

[Rubbish King]

Welcome old cunts and new

 

[Reknoc]

posting so i dont have to go through the rigmarole of using the subscribe button.

 

[Delusibeta]

Maybe I should actually post in this thread.

 

[CHEEZMO™]

Shower of bastards

 

[Deaf Spacker]

I need to post moar.

 

[phisheep]

Present and correct. Well, most of the time.

 

[Deaf Spacker]

Shower of bastards

Fuck off before I punch you back in to your mother's vagina.

 

[Musha_Soturi]

Boom!

Nice work Mike, OP looks great! Love the banners.

 

[Symphonia]

I posted most in OT4? I'm so happy. I'd like to thank my mum, my dad, my brother, my sister...

 

[Rubbish King]

I posted most in OT4? I'm so happy. I'd like to thank my mum, my dad, my brother, my sister...

Cute, I remember when I did that for the first time

 

[8bit]

My least favourite biscuit is a soggy one.

 

[jimbor]

You had one job, Mike and you fucked up the title. The rest was good.

 

[Musha_Soturi]

I posted most in OT4? I'm so happy. I'd like to thank my mum, my dad, my brother, my sister...

Considering you joined us late that's not something to be proud of

You had one job, Mike and you fucked up the title. The rest was good.

I prefer Mike's version

 

[SteveWD40]

Nice OT Mike, bonus points for use of a Goddess.

 

[AcridMeat]

I still wish I got a pork bun in chinatown.

 

[Screaming Meat]

Nice place you got here. Roomy.

Nice OT Mike, bonus points for use of a Goddess.

She's lovely but I can never tell where she's looking. One eye looking whilst the other searches, so to speak.

 

[NinjaBoiX]

Bang tidy OP Micheal, proper job innit! I like the new question in the entry form (which I will fill out presently).

I think the original thread title lost some of it's snap due to your embellishment though. :/

 

[Deaf Spacker]

I can't edit the gaming I.D's spreadsheet...

 

[sploatee]

I am a supreme bird! Yay! KNEEL BEFORE ZOD

 

[jimbor]

Considering you joined us late that's not something to be proud of



I prefer Mike's version

You would.

 

[Musha_Soturi]

When is your birthday: in the op innit
Where do you live: Laaaaandan
Where are you from: South Wales
What do you do: boring shitty office job
What is your quest: to obtain the almighty seed of Andy and use it to create life!
Favourite actor/actress: far to many to narrow it down
Favourite band/artist: see above answer
Favourite TV show: Arrow
Favourite crisps: T Bone Steak
Favourite biscuit: Ginger Nut. Geddit?
Least favourite Pokémon: bleurgh
Stalactites or stalagmites: tites
How do you cut your sandwiches: mine horizontally, Andy's diagonally

 

[Rubbish King]

I can't edit the gaming I.D's spreadsheet...

After a hilarious incident involving everyone being able to edit in real time it was decided SUAIRYU should be in charge of that

 

[sploatee]

When is your birthday: in the op innit
Where do you live: Laaaaandan
Where are you from: South Wales
What do you do: boring shitty office job
What is your quest: to obtain the almighty sperm of Andy and use it to create life!
Favourite actor/actress: far to many to narrow it down
Favourite band/artist: see above answer
Favourite TV show: Arrow
Favourite crisps: T Bone Steak
Favourite biscuit: Ginger Nut. Geddit?
Least favourite Pokémon: bleurgh
Stalactites or stalagmites: tites
How do you cut your sandwiches: mine horizontally, Andy's diagonally

Good luck in your quest! May your obtanium be obtained.

 

[Screaming Meat]

We have to fill out the form again?

Good luck in your quest! May your obtanium be obtained.

A Superman AND TV Tropes reference? Quell suprise!

 

[Jedeye Sniv]

All you motherfuckers best get on the survey. You're not too good for this now you know.

When is your birthday: 07/04/83
Where do you live: Aldershot, Hants
Where are you from: Aldershot
What do you do: help rich children sit exams
What is your quest: validation
Favourite actor/actress: James Franco
Favourite band/artist: Los Campesinos!
Favourite TV show: I guess Breaking Bad was. Now... no idea! Maybe Boardwalk Empire?
Favourite crisps: Red Sun Bites
Favourite biscuit: Choc Chip Hob Nobs (seriously they are godly)
Least favourite Pokémon: all of them
Stalactites or stalagmites: Heather Small
How do you cut your sandwiches: Lengthways, crust at one end, bottom at the other

 

[sploatee]

When is your birthday: 29 April
Where do you live: Manchester
Where are you from: Blackpool
What do you do: Stocks and shares
What is your quest: to live on a farm
Favourite actor/actress: day lewis
Favourite band/artist: Loyalty says pearl jam
Favourite TV show: futurama
Favourite crisps: chicken flavour
Favourite biscuit: dark choc digestive
Least favourite Pokémon: stop with this I'm not playing
Stalactites or stalagmites: mites
How do you cut your sandwiches: diagonal for max bite

 

[BGBW]

Yo dont be finkin I didnt c dat diss against my name.

 

[Musha_Soturi]

Good luck in your quest! May your obtanium be obtained.

Thanks!

We have to fill out the form again?

Yes

 

[sploatee]

We have to fill out the form again?



A Superman AND TV Tropes reference? Quell suprise!

I'm referential. I can't help it. It's a substitute for my lack of personality.

 

[Symphonia]

Considering you joined us late that's not something to be proud of.

Now, now, don't be jealous, Musha. I might be the King of OT4 but you'll always be the mama.

When is your birthday: 5th April
Where do you live: Birmingham
Where are you from: Stratford-Upon-Avon
What do you do: Team Leader
What is your quest: To catch 'em all.
Favourite actor/actress: Michael Fassbender/Jennifer Lawrence
Favourite band/artist: Funeral For A Friend
Favourite TV show: Game of Thrones
Favourite crisps: McCoys Salt & Vinegar
Favourite biscuit: Custard Cream
Least favourite Pokémon: Jynx
Stalactites or stalagmites: Stalactites
How do you cut your sandwiches: Diagonally, bitch.

 

[SteveWD40]

When is your birthday: in the OP
Where do you live: Manchester (city)
Where are you from: Stockport
What do you do: Corporate Finance
What is your quest: The Chalice of Imepending Nuptials
Favourite actor/actress: Martin Sheen / Alison Janey (on a West Wing marathon)
Favourite band/artist: Daft Punk
Favourite TV show: The West Wing / Breaking Bad
Favourite crisps: McCoys Flmae Grilled Steak
Favourite biscuit: Amoreti
Least favourite Pokémon: Jigglypuff
Stalactites or stalagmites: tites
How do you cut your sandwiches: Triangles

 

[CHEEZMO™]

sploat where in manc u at sis

 

[SKINNER!]

Where do you live: The Democratic People's Republic of Scotland...[title pending]
Where are you from: My mother's uterus
What do you do: Travel the world with my father and Race Bannon.
What is your quest: to find a new friend after Hadji started dating Jessie.
Favourite actor/actress: Carrotcake Bumbaclot.
Favourite band/artist: The greatest reggae artist of all time
Favourite TV show: Dharma & Greg in reverse
Favourite crisps: Real men eat seashells
Favourite biscuit: I eat my fried chicken with gravy and chips.
Least favourite Pokémon: All of them.
Stalactites or stalagmites: Stalactites cus it's got tits in it.
How do you cut your sandwiches: Diagonal 'cus I got mad stacks in my purse.

HAPPY NOW MIKESIDE?! Great! Back to important business.

 

[Addnan]

When is your birthday: 14th January..
Where do you live: London
Where are you from: London
What do you do: Student. City University.
What is your quest: right now, fuck. Get pissed next Wednesday after exam.
Favourite actor/actress: eh
Favourite band/artist: Týr . Beautiful bastards from Faroe Islands. Just listen to hot sex filled folk metal. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xqiD8Ge8RDw
Favourite TV show: six feet under, Sherlock. Too many.
Favourite crisps: prawn cocktail walkers
Favourite biscuit: hard to pick. Digestives as a go to.
Least favourite Pokémon: Zigzagoon
Stalactites or stalagmites: mite
How do you cut your sandwiches: diagonally.

 

[jimbor]

When is your birthday: op
Where do you live: London
Where are you from: London
What do you do: Electrical work
What is your quest: Trying not to laugh uncontrollably as Cyanide stumbles from one poor decision to another
Favourite actor/actress: Don't think I have one
Favourite band/artist: Beatles all time, not sure currently
Favourite TV show: Don't know, Always Sunny at the moment maybe.
Favourite crisps: Brannigans beef and mustard
Favourite biscuit: ToffyPop
Least favourite Pokémon: Chinner
Stalactites or stalagmites: Who gives a fuck
How do you cut your sandwiches: I leave that to the bird.

 

[NinjaBoiX]

When is your birthday: oh pee
Where do you live: Sunderland
Where are you from: Lancaster
What do you do: Maintenance Electrician
What is your quest: to win X-Factor
Favourite actor/actress: Philip Seymour Hoffman/Naomi Watts
Favourite band/artist: Paramore innit (I have no idea)
Favourite TV show: The Sopranos
Favourite crisps: Sweet Chilli Kettle Chips
Favourite biscuit: those octagonal chocolate ones from Fox's Crimbo tins
Least favourite Pokémon: Jedeye Sniv
Stalactites or stalagmites: Stalactites (what is the consensus on this? Seems important that we find out)
How do you cut your sandwiches: I don't, bread is for mugs

 

[BGBW]

When is your birthday: The date of the first episode of Hidamari Sketch
Where do you live: The streets of South London
Where are you from: The streets of South London
What do you do: Tag walls with my South London street name
What is your quest: To play "Go My Way" during Prime Minister's Questions.
Favourite actor/actress: William Roache
Favourite band/artist: Rolf Harris
Favourite TV show: QI
Favourite crisps: Cheese 'n' Onion
Favourite biscuit: Bourbon
Least favourite Pokémon: Bloddy wild Bronzors
Stalactites or stalagmites: Stalactites are tight!
How do you cut your sandwiches: Like a "K"

 

[8bit]

When is your birthday: September
Where do you live: Switzerland
Where are you from: Glasgow
What do you do: I don't know, regulatory systems management covers it I suppose
What is your quest: Finding interesting things to drink
Favourite actor/actress: pfft
Favourite band/artist: This is an Autechre week
Favourite TV show: Have high hopes for Vic & Bob's House of Fools
Favourite crisps: Salt & Vinegar Discos
Favourite biscuit: Empire (Dunno, haven't been keeping up with biscuit technology)
Least favourite Pokémon: The fat whale thing at the end of diamond that didn't put up a fight
Stalactites or stalagmites: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eh3JBSffe7Y
How do you cut your sandwiches: In accordance with the golden ratio

 

[phisheep]

When is your birthday: 24th September, right between Kentpaul and SovanJedi
Where do you live: Weston-super-Mare
Where are you from: Wales, bottom right-hand corner
What do you do: Keep an awesome bead shop just off the seafront
What is your quest: fun and profit
Favourite actor/actress: Vincent Price/Diana Rigg
Favourite band/artist: Beatles/Earl Scruggs
Favourite TV show: Doctor Who?
Favourite crisps: Roast Chicken
Favourite biscuit: McVities chocolate digestive (plain chocolate only please)
Least favourite Pokémon: what is a Pokemon?
Stalactites or stalagmites: 'tites definitely
How do you cut your sandwiches: on the semi-diagonal, just so they are asymmetrical and difficult to stack

 

[TetraxShards]

When is your birthday: 7th August
Where do you live: Waterford, Ireland
Where are you from: Waterford, Ireland
What do you do: Student at WIT (Multimedia Applications Development)
What is your quest: Getting a Pathfinder, Mutants & Masterminds or FATE Core game going with college peeps, alternatively reading ALL the comics
Favourite actor/actress: Benedict Cumberbatch
Favourite band/artist: Not really into music (a serious handicap when I've just started a Music Skills module)
Favourite TV show: Doctor Who
Favourite crisps: Tayto Salt and Vinegar
Favourite biscuit: Fox Viennese Melts
Least favourite Pokémon: Zubat (now having 'Nam flashbacks about Mt. Moon)
Stalactites or stalagmites: Stalactities
How do you cut your sandwiches: I eat them whole

 

[Deaf Spacker]

After a hilarious incident involving everyone being able to edit in real time it was decided SUAIRYU should be in charge of that

Is he still around?

When is your birthday: 7th November
Where do you live: Chelmsford, Essex
Where are you from: Chelmsford, Essex
What do you do: When I'm not spazzing out I'm a data geek
What is your quest: To grow mutton chops
Favourite actor/actress: Right now it's Benedict Cumberbatch
Favourite band/artist: AC/DC is my absolute favourite but really I'll listen to anything
Favourite TV show: Lilyhammer
Favourite crisps: Walkers Sensations Chicken and Thyme
Favourite biscuit: Bourbon
Least favourite Pokémon: Blastoise
Stalactites or stalagmites: Stalactites
How do you cut your sandwiches: Straight, I even eat the crust

 

[sploatee]

sploat where in manc u at sis

Yo. I rock it centrally.

 

[NinjaBoiX]

Lol at jimbor's quest.

Thank you based 8bit, that was my inspiration for the most probing question in the entry form.

Harry Hill hat gag. I laugh every time. I might be 12.

 

[Screaming Meat]

I'm referential. I can't help it. It's a substitute for my lack of personality.

You'd fit it with me and my friends.

Yes

I'm outraged.

When is your birthday: Same as Tommy Lee Jones & Bane.
Where do you live: Inside your brain.
Where are you from: Medway.
What do you do: Scream at people in darkened rooms.
What is your quest: To tear a hole in the fabric of reality and take a nice juicy dump in it.
Favourite actor/actress: Christopher Walken, amongst many others.
Favourite band/artist: Radiohead, amongst many others.
Favourite TV show: Brass Eye/The Wire/Deadwood.
Favourite crisps: Paprika 3D Doritos (RIP).
Favourite biscuit: Gold Bar.
Least favourite Pokémon: Jigglypuff, bitches. Oh, least favourite? Um...
Stalactites or stalagmites: StalagPIPES. See for yourself: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=uNfJAhxnBYc
How do you cut your sandwiches: with rat poison.

 

[Son Of D]

When is your birthday: Same day as Harry Potter.
Where do you live: Dawlish, small town in Devon.
Where are you from: Edgeware
What do you do: Unemployed guy who writes and very rarely makes films. I need a job.
What is your quest: Right now it's get the fuck out of Devon. Alternatively, finally tell my crush my feelings for him.
Favourite actor/actress: Simon Pegg, although part of that is bias since the Cornetto trilogy films are amongst my favourite.
Favourite band/artist: Currently under evaluation
Favourite TV show: Spaced. Breaking Bad, Dexter and Simpsons are good contenders for second. Also Red Dwarf
Favourite crisps: Roast Chicken walkers.
Favourite biscuit: Custard Cream
Least favourite Pokémon: Zoroark
Stalactites or stalagmites: Tites
How do you cut your sandwiches: Varies

 

[QuicheFontaine]

Another one of these already. They move so fast...

Anyway, may as well fill in the thing again. New year, new start etc.

When is your birthday: 6 August
Where do you live: Bristol
Where are you from: Preston, Lancs
What do you do: Patent Attorney-ing, firing guns sometimes
What is your quest: Go to every Nando's
Favourite actor/actress: Christoph Waltz
Favourite band/artist: Joy Division + The Smiths (don't make me choose)
Favourite TV show: Archer
Favourite crisps: Walkers Max Paprika
Favourite biscuit: Chocolate Hobnob
Least favourite Pokémon: least favourite? I guess Mr Mime?
Stalactites or stalagmites: Stalactites
How do you cut your sandwiches: Rectangular

 

[Slowdive]

Mm Rachel Riley.

When is your birthday: 8th January
Where do you live: Manchester
Where are you from: Manchester
What do you do: Admin
What is your quest: Right now it's get a better job
Favourite actor/actress: Too hard to say really, David Tennant.
Favourite band/artist: David Bowie
Favourite TV show: Doctor Who
Favourite crisps: Ready Salted
Favourite biscuit: Chocolate digestive at the moment
Least favourite Pokémon: The ice cream cone one probably
Stalactites or stalagmites: stalactites
How do you cut your sandwiches: Diagonally

 

[Son Of D]

I was thinking of doing a quick and dirty photoshop of the "you're here forever" picture in the vein of that Simpsons moment (Do it for her), but I couldn't think of an appropriate person to use (although Rachel Riley could work).

I'll let you all decide.