RagnarokIV
Battlebus imprisoning me \m/ >.< \m/
I've moved to different countries in my life, but nothing was like growing up on a UK council estate. These places were fucken crazy.
I've not too long ago ended up back in the UK, thankfully not in one of these. Here's a run down for the unaware:
A council estate is a whole area built/developed for "low income" families. You rent your house for dirt cheap from the local council. The houses are all identical prefabs (soviet bloc style). There is no personality, no character.
A good council estate looks like this...
Most were like this:
Some even had shit fake houses made from steel
The steel houses were built throughout the UK after world war 2 as emergency housing. They were designed to be cheap, quick and easy to slap down in areas. Sadly the UK is full of greedy fucken starvers, so whoever was in charge decided "actually, that'll do fine. Fuck them poor people"
So they have a habbit of getting "concrete cancer" and basically dying and collapsing LMAO but you can still buy one to this day.
Council estates were amazing because everyone was a ridiculous character trying to scam their way through life. Some were proper thieving nasty cunts, but others were honorable and resorted to victimless crimes - like scamming the government.
Here were some form mine:
"Gordon Grandad"
On this particular estate, if you owned a shitty Austin metro you were doing well in life.
Gordon managed to own a fucken minibus, he had the envy of the estate - "he must be rolling in money!" - "how the fuck can he afford that?!"
Turns out it's because he adopted. Adopted a lot.
Gordon had a total of NINE adopted kids. And in his words "if you get the ones who have something wrong with them, then you get more money"
Lesson learned, adopt a bunch of retards and you'll be rich.
"Naked boy and the seven siblings"
Next door to one of my mates was a house that was a massive shithole. Inside had no carpet, no blinds, no TV nothing. Just a barren house with bare windows.
Something else was bare in the windows - a naked boy. Aged about 4 or 5 tops, he was there everyday with his winky flopping about as the banged on the window like a Resident Evil zombie waiting to smash through when you passed.
The front door to the house was broken and held up by multiple sacks of potatoes. One day the sacks fell over and the door fell. Naked boy managed to escape and was running around the streets like a headless chicken.
It was like Raiden in MGS2 with his arse clapping. Funny as fuck, the whole street gathered to laugh at him.
Only years later did I find out he had 7 siblings. Like a shitty broke ass druggy version of snow white.
"No Work Norris"
No work Norris limped around the streets with crutches because he was disabled and unable to work. As a result, the government paid all his bills and rent.
Then the weekend would kick in, and Norris would be in the pub givin' it large and jumping all about. Disco dancing until he had to leave the pub and thought the police or the "benefits man" would catch him. On the way out he would get his jacket (and crutches) and magically become disabled again.
He was doing so well with his welfare handouts that he was one of the first to be able to afford this new "Sky satelite" TV.. He bragged like fuck about his one hundred channels.
I guess someone was pissed about it though because one morning he woke up and switched on the news - "NO SIGNAL". Hmm strange.
Another news channel - NO SIGNAL.
What about the kids cartoons? - NO SIGNAL
He went outsdie to check -
"WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!" he was screaming at 8 AM
Someone stole his fucken satelite dish form his roof during the night LMAO!!! You stupid cunt hahaha
I have many, many more. I kept it to the fun ones but I've seen and been involved in some nasty stuff. As fucked up as it got, I like to think we had some honor back in the day. Now the places are rotten to the core.
Any council estate stories on GAF?
edits:
"Council estate justice"
Back in the day before the internet, you had to write to the government or local council to fid out if there were pedophiles in your area...
They did, quite frequently. Someone found out one of the new lads on the esate wa a jimmy riddler and he lived around the corner form us.
One day, around 1PM, there was a huge smash - they drove a car through his wall and into his front door. Four boys got out, went into the house and dragged this cunt out and beat the shit out of him in his garden. Smashed his face into a pulp, alls sorts of fucked. They drove off and left him there... Ambulance picked him up a while after and we never saw him again.
jshackles
- this is what I was saying lol
"Drug Dealing Dad"
When I was a kid and used to hang out with one of my friends there would be a knock at his door, his dad would answer and trade a small plastic bag for money. I didn't think much of it.
What I did think about was how my friend's house had a cool closet full of swords, machetes and survival knives. "Wow, that is so cool! You should bring some into school tomorrow!"
He did. And and when a teacher noticed a child with a backpack full of deadly weapons it meant a call to the police. Dumbass ended up getting his father raided LMAO
I've not too long ago ended up back in the UK, thankfully not in one of these. Here's a run down for the unaware:
A council estate is a whole area built/developed for "low income" families. You rent your house for dirt cheap from the local council. The houses are all identical prefabs (soviet bloc style). There is no personality, no character.
A good council estate looks like this...
Most were like this:
Some even had shit fake houses made from steel
The steel houses were built throughout the UK after world war 2 as emergency housing. They were designed to be cheap, quick and easy to slap down in areas. Sadly the UK is full of greedy fucken starvers, so whoever was in charge decided "actually, that'll do fine. Fuck them poor people"
So they have a habbit of getting "concrete cancer" and basically dying and collapsing LMAO but you can still buy one to this day.
Council estates were amazing because everyone was a ridiculous character trying to scam their way through life. Some were proper thieving nasty cunts, but others were honorable and resorted to victimless crimes - like scamming the government.
Here were some form mine:
"Gordon Grandad"
On this particular estate, if you owned a shitty Austin metro you were doing well in life.
Gordon managed to own a fucken minibus, he had the envy of the estate - "he must be rolling in money!" - "how the fuck can he afford that?!"
Turns out it's because he adopted. Adopted a lot.
Gordon had a total of NINE adopted kids. And in his words "if you get the ones who have something wrong with them, then you get more money"
Lesson learned, adopt a bunch of retards and you'll be rich.
"Naked boy and the seven siblings"
Next door to one of my mates was a house that was a massive shithole. Inside had no carpet, no blinds, no TV nothing. Just a barren house with bare windows.
Something else was bare in the windows - a naked boy. Aged about 4 or 5 tops, he was there everyday with his winky flopping about as the banged on the window like a Resident Evil zombie waiting to smash through when you passed.
The front door to the house was broken and held up by multiple sacks of potatoes. One day the sacks fell over and the door fell. Naked boy managed to escape and was running around the streets like a headless chicken.
It was like Raiden in MGS2 with his arse clapping. Funny as fuck, the whole street gathered to laugh at him.
Only years later did I find out he had 7 siblings. Like a shitty broke ass druggy version of snow white.
"No Work Norris"
No work Norris limped around the streets with crutches because he was disabled and unable to work. As a result, the government paid all his bills and rent.
Then the weekend would kick in, and Norris would be in the pub givin' it large and jumping all about. Disco dancing until he had to leave the pub and thought the police or the "benefits man" would catch him. On the way out he would get his jacket (and crutches) and magically become disabled again.
He was doing so well with his welfare handouts that he was one of the first to be able to afford this new "Sky satelite" TV.. He bragged like fuck about his one hundred channels.
I guess someone was pissed about it though because one morning he woke up and switched on the news - "NO SIGNAL". Hmm strange.
Another news channel - NO SIGNAL.
What about the kids cartoons? - NO SIGNAL
He went outsdie to check -
"WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!" he was screaming at 8 AM
Someone stole his fucken satelite dish form his roof during the night LMAO!!! You stupid cunt hahaha
I have many, many more. I kept it to the fun ones but I've seen and been involved in some nasty stuff. As fucked up as it got, I like to think we had some honor back in the day. Now the places are rotten to the core.
Any council estate stories on GAF?
edits:
"Council estate justice"
Back in the day before the internet, you had to write to the government or local council to fid out if there were pedophiles in your area...
They did, quite frequently. Someone found out one of the new lads on the esate wa a jimmy riddler and he lived around the corner form us.
One day, around 1PM, there was a huge smash - they drove a car through his wall and into his front door. Four boys got out, went into the house and dragged this cunt out and beat the shit out of him in his garden. Smashed his face into a pulp, alls sorts of fucked. They drove off and left him there... Ambulance picked him up a while after and we never saw him again.
jshackles
- this is what I was saying lol"Drug Dealing Dad"
When I was a kid and used to hang out with one of my friends there would be a knock at his door, his dad would answer and trade a small plastic bag for money. I didn't think much of it.
What I did think about was how my friend's house had a cool closet full of swords, machetes and survival knives. "Wow, that is so cool! You should bring some into school tomorrow!"
He did. And and when a teacher noticed a child with a backpack full of deadly weapons it meant a call to the police. Dumbass ended up getting his father raided LMAO
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