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[Lunarorbit]

Spider Capable of Causing Permanent Erections Shuts Down Entire Supermarket​

Spider Capable of Causing Permanent Erections Shuts Down Entire Supermarket

The impact is so dramatic that scientists have studied the arachnid as part of research for impotence treatments like Viagra

themessenger.com

An Austrian supermarket has been temporarily shut down after one of the world's most dangerous spiders was discovered in a box of bananas.

The Brazilian Wandering Spider, which potentially roamed the aisles of a supermarket owned by the Rewe Retail Group in a town 45 miles west of Vienna, was spotted, according to the Daily Mail.

A bizarre side effect of this spider's bites is its ability to cause painful, hours-long erections. The impact is so dramatic that some scientists have studied the arachnid as part of research for impotence treatments like Viagra.

"The erection is a side effect that everybody who gets stung by this spider will experience along with the pain and discomfort," researcher Romulo Leite told Live Science.

In the article it says it was hiding in a box of bananas so it definitely has a type. Plus the erection isn't permanent; whoever copy edited this wanted a splashy headline cause it ONLY lasts a few hours.

So we have the superconductors, aliens, new cancer fighting research, tears of the kingdom/starfield /bg3, and now a boner inducing spider.

2023 keeps giving

 

[DeepEnigma]

More natural than viagra. And you might get some dick web slinging powers.

 

[Kamina]

Thank god i live two hours from vienna

 

[BlackTron]

 

[CrankyJay™]

In related news, supermarket reports record growth in their Male 50+ category.

 

[nightmare-slain]

"it was hiding in a box of bananas so it definitely has a type"

omg

 

[KrazyKrelian]

Imagining the hijinks one could participate in if they had the power give an unsuspecting person a rock hard erection makes me chuckle.

 

[NeoGiffer]

 

[AlteredForms]

I'm familiar with this species as it's one of the multiple ones referred to as "banana spiders" and is fairly dangerous. Their venom is said to be necrotic and is studied by medical professionals in Brazil. Though I'll admit, I was expecting it to be bigger as the photos I've seen make it out to be humungous.

 

[Kurotri]

Of fucking course it's from Australia

 

[Ikutachi]

 

[Tams]

Of fucking course it's from Australia

A Brazilian wandering spider found in an Austrian supermarket, my friend.

 

[Putonahappyface]

More natural than viagra. And you might get some dick web slinging powers.

 

[Dacvak]

And they say bananas aren’t an aphrodisiac

 

[Kurotri]

A Brazilian wandering spider found in an Austrian supermarket, my friend.

I can't believe I can't fucking read

 

[Dr. Suchong]

Is that a Brazilian wandering Spider you have in your pocket, or are you just pleased to see me?

 

[Aesius]

Sounds like that supermarket could have ended up with a quite a few more Vienna sausages than expected.

 

[jason10mm]

A spider bite that causes a painful hours long erection is like the plot to half the "step-cest" films out there.

IT'S TRUE?!?!?!?

 

[Johnny2Bad]

The porn industry is interested.

 

[ThatStupidLion]

Why hasnt the erection power in the venom been isolated and turned into an ED medication?

 

[DeafTourette]

Why hasnt the erection power in the venom been isolated and turned into an ED medication?

They specifically talk about that in the article.

 

[Dirk Benedict]

Shoving this spider into my next condom.

 

[AJUMP23]

Spider thrills you then kills you.

 

[BossLackey]

I love spiders but I'm not getting near a wandering spider. They are beautiful though.

 

[Nobody_Important]

11/10


Will never go to the grocery store again.

 

[KrakenIPA]

HotBonerSpider.com has some interesting pictures.

 

[LostDonkey]

Peter Porker

 

[Nobody_Important]

HotBonerSpider.com has some interesting pictures.

 

[Mr Hyde]

Apparently, Puff Daddy and Paul Rudd visited this super market. They were captured by TMZ.

 

[Patrick S.]

 

[Ozzy Onya A2Z]

Spidey laying pipe.

 

[Dr.Morris79]

Would make a brilliant multiverse character.

 

[Lunarorbit]

Would make a brilliant multiverse character.

My Green Goblin is tingling Mary Jane.

Edit:Haha. I'll add a comma. Are we not doing phrasing?

My Green Goblin is tingling, Mary Jane.

 

[Dr.Morris79]

My Green Goblin is tingling Mary Jane.

Edit:Haha. I'll add a comma. Are we not doing phrasing?

My Green Goblin is tingling, Mary Jane.

Nope, without commas is much better

 

[DAHGAMING]

Shit, my wife is looking to buy 1 now to use on me.

 

[chromhound]

 

[sono]

Hold on to who's dicks?

 

[Jsisto]

Suspect is in custody. Turns out it wasn’t even the bite that caused all the boners.

 

[Rockondevil]

Spider would be useless in my house. Wouldn’t get any use.

 

[EverydayBeast]

 

[West Texas CEO]

The impact is so dramatic that some scientists have studied the arachnid as part of research for impotence treatments like Viagra.

 

[Fbh]

I can't believe I can't fucking read

To be fair this must be one of the few pieces of news about a dangerous spider in a country beginning with "AUSTR" that's NOT in fact about Australia

 

[Hawking Radiation]

The next Nacho Vidal will be from Austria

 

[Toons]

Yall need spiders to achieve this??

 

[Dirk Benedict]

Yall need spiders to achieve this??

So, you can hold onto an erection so painful, for extended periods of time, where the very vessels in your cock are about to give way?
If so, perhaps we need to harvest YOUR DNA for research...

 

[Toons]

So, you can hold onto an erection so painful, for extended periods of time, where the very vessels in your cock are about to give way?
If so, perhaps we need to harvest YOUR DNA for research...

Don't threaten me with a good time

 

[TylerD]

Arachnid? More like erectnid, ammirite?

 

[Halo is Back]

More natural than viagra. And you might get some dick web slinging powers.

Sounds like a good porno idea.