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How do you get Chlamydia from a Koala?

Stouffers

Stouffers

Banned
Do you need to have sex with it or is it just from touching? Is it like armadillo/leprosy that requires ingesting the animal?

I’ve seen a bunch of koala fire rescue videos and wondered why people aren’t concerned.
 
Whitesnake

Whitesnake

Banned
For a somewhat-serious answer, there’s a strain of chlamydia that can be spread via urine and feces. Koalas are dumb and will urinate whenever they feel the urge regardless of time or location, so they tend to piss on people from time to time. This is how it gets transmitted to humans. It gets transmitted between koalas by baby koalas eating the poop of an infected koala. This particular strain is basically just pneumonia.

Koalas are known to have 3 different strains of chlamydia. The one they get from fucking each other is different from the one they get from eating shit. The sex one in particular, which is by far the worst, is not known to be transferrable to humans. Feel free to test that for yourself, but I don’t think koalas would be very good in bed.
 
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Stouffers

Stouffers

Banned
Whitesnake said:
For a somewhat-serious answer, there’s a strain of chlamydia that can be spread via urine and feces. Koalas are dumb and will urinate whenever they feel the urge regardless of time or location, so they tend to piss on people from time to time. This is how it gets transmitted to humans. It gets transmitted between koalas by baby koalas eating the poop of an infected koala. This particular strain is basically just pneumonia.

Koalas are known to have 3 different strains of chlamydia. The one they get from fucking each other is different from the one they get from eating shit. The sex one in particular, which is by far the worst, is not known to be transferrable to humans. Feel free to test that for yourself, but I don’t think koalas would be very good in bed.
Click to expand...
While I appreciate the answer, who the fuck are you to disparage an entire species sexual prowess?
 
Hinedorf

Hinedorf

Banned
If you don't know how, you probably can't afford it
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Whitesnake

Whitesnake

Banned
Stouffers said:
While I appreciate the answer, who the fuck are you to disparage an entire species sexual prowess?
Click to expand...

As I said, Koalas soil themselves. And they are really, really stupid. The common anecdote is that if a koala were starving and it watched you take a eucalyptus leaf off of the tree and place it in front of them, the koala would ignore it because it no longer registers the leaf as food.

Imagine fucking a hairy ugly retarded midget who will just lay there like a dead fish. That’s what fucking a koala is like.
 
JSoup

JSoup

Banned
V4skunk said:
How do sloths even exist?
It baffles me they are not extinct yet.
Click to expand...

Because they have no natural predators, aside from jeeps being driven way to fast through the jungle.
They have a super slow metabolism and all kinds of mold and bugs live on their fur.
There are no predators that want to eat a pile of manure wrapped in a moldy fur coat.
 
Whitesnake

Whitesnake

Banned
V4skunk said:
How do sloths even exist?
It baffles me they are not extinct yet.
Click to expand...

Their flesh holds very little nutritional value. They’re also covered in lots of hair that’s all matted in shit, mud, etc.

They’re also almost always high up in trees, meaning that most land predators can’t get to them.

Trying to hunt a sloth would be like trying to get a potato chip from the rain gutters on your roof. It would take a significant amount of effort, way too much for a regular potato chip to be worth, and especially too much effort for a potato chip covered in leaves and gunk.
 
TindalosPup

TindalosPup

Member
Whitesnake said:
For a somewhat-serious answer, there’s a strain of chlamydia that can be spread via urine and feces. Koalas are dumb and will urinate whenever they feel the urge regardless of time or location, so they tend to piss on people from time to time. This is how it gets transmitted to humans. It gets transmitted between koalas by baby koalas eating the poop of an infected koala. This particular strain is basically just pneumonia.

Koalas are known to have 3 different strains of chlamydia. The one they get from fucking each other is different from the one they get from eating shit. The sex one in particular, which is by far the worst, is not known to be transferrable to humans. Feel free to test that for yourself, but I don’t think koalas would be very good in bed.
Click to expand...

3 different strains!? Koalas don't just carry the clap, they're a whole round of applause

Edit: I realized after posting the joke that Chlamydia isn't referred to as the clap everywhere (it's a slang term for like 4 or 5 different venereal diseases, the most common being gonorrhea, in different places)
 
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womfalcs3

womfalcs3

Banned
Stouffers said:
Do you need to have sex with it or is it just from touching? Is it like armadillo/leprosy that requires ingesting the animal?

I’ve seen a bunch of koala fire rescue videos and wondered why people aren’t concerned.
Click to expand...

Are you asking for a "friend"?
 
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