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I did a bad bad thing - Long post

ShadowRed

Banned
So ever since seeing "Bend it like Beckham" I have had a thing for Indian chicks. I was so stoked when Parminder Nagra joined the cast of ER. So a couple months ago start a new job and the first thing I noticed was this very attractive Indian chick who worked near by. I would strike up a conversation every now and again, and she seemed to really be digging me. So last Monday I asked her what she did for fun and she was like nothing really. So I asked her if I could take her out to eat some time. She was like all shy and shit and say she didn't know me. I told her I had been stopping by her booth for a month now. She was like I don't know. I asked her, how, would I get to know her better so that we could go out. She was like pick me up after work. So I did and I drove her home all last week. We had some pretty pleasant conversations. On Friday I asked her if I could take her out. She agreed so we went to this Mexican restaurant, she had previously told me that she hadn't had Mexican food ever even though she had been in Texas for 2 years. Everything went great. I dazzled her with my wit and charm, showed her how to eat tacos.

So we get back from the movies and she invites me in and we sit on the couch and talk for hours. So much so she tells me I can stay over rather than drive home. I'm thinking yeah score. She gets up and leaves the room comes back with a blanket and tells me I can sleep on the couch. DENIED. So the next day I take her out with me and introduce her to some friends at a get together at one one of their houses. Everyone is like damn she's nice, giving me the approving eye/ head nod. We had a great week end together it's like we have been in a relationship for a long time. She was very polite and personable and everyone was impressed with her. So yesterday I see her at work and we chat. She asks me if I’m coming over to her house tonight. I'm like sure I can if you want.


So about 8:00 I get to her house and we are talking and all then suddenly she moves in close so I move forward and kiss her. I really wasn't expecting this. From all indications I assumed we wouldn't get to this point for a while so I came unprepared. So we commence to kissing and stroking. We end up in her bed I'm sitting upright and she is straddling me. I start pulling her cloths off starting with her shirt, then braw, now I’m removing her pants and panties. This is where the shit hit the fan and hard. Got her pants off and we are kissing and I move to suck on her breast when I get a whiff of the most God awful smell I have ever smelt in my life. It was like a thousand animals died and decomposed all at the same time. It actually snapped my head back like a hit of smelling sauce, but I gained control before I was noticeable that I had winced at the smell. She didn't stop a beat. She was sucking on my neck and had grabbed a hold of my crank and began furiously "massaging" it. For the first time in my life I m torn at a moment I am the most decisive. Half of me was disgusted at the smell; the other half was ready to hit a wet paper bag since the last time I had gotten some skin was during the Meryl Streep incident. Add that with her massaging my crank all rational thought was out the door. So I roll over and WITHOUT A RUBBER, start the pipe laying. So we are in the act and I go to suck on the nipples again, she had the most perfect freaking breasts ever. I realize that as I thrust the air movement would push the smell upward I would get a super concentrated whiff of her odor. I said fuck the breasts, and put my chin over her shoulder and on my upswing I would inhale and hold the breath then thrust and pull out in rapid succession time I couldn't hold it in then on the next upswing release and inhale again. By this point I was totally oblivious to this chick I was just trying to cum and get this over with. I've spent my whole life trying not to cum till the last possible minute and succeeded and failed on various occasions, but this time the one time I needed to bust a quick one and it seemed like hours before I let one out. I was cussing my dick out in my head, "GODDFAMN MOTHER FUCKER YOU GONNA DO THIS SHIT TO ME NOW. WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T YOU DO THIS WHEN I WAS WITH THAT BIG BUTTED ASIAN CHICK LAST YEAR. NO YOU HAD TO GO BLOW YOUR WAD 5 MINUTES IN. PUNK BITCH MOTHER FUCKER I HATE YOU!!!!"


So finally it's over and because I was so fixated on blowing my head I forget to pull out. I'm pretty sure she didn't cum but I didn't care. I immediately rolled over and put one foot out of the bed, when my conscious grabbed me and said, "You can't just jump up and leave like this." She's rubbing me on my back and tugging me trying to get me to face her. She tells me that I'm so great and that I now belong to her and that I can do whatever I want with her. She said that last part several times before I though, "Damn bitch I want to stick my hand up your snatch and pull out whatever died up in there." I responded instead with I love you too baby. She wraps her arms around me and snuggles up. I'm screaming inside my head, "GET THE FUCK UP GET THE FUCK OUT OF THERE NOW!!!" Finally I slide out of bed and go, "Crap I have to go pick my Mom up." I apologize while I throw my cloths on and tell her I will see her tomorrow, and then darted out.


So I peel out of the parking lot and immediately call my boy, Tony, up and to tell him about the situation. In the middle of the conversation I start to smell something foul. I stick my head down towards the steering wheel, and immediately know what it is. I tell my boy, "GOD DAMN THIS BITCH DUN SLIMMED ME!!!" I tell him I got to get home immediately and wash off. He tells me no come to his house it's closer. I get there he's cracking up along with his wife. So he's like dude let me smell and bends over and almost immediately snaps back up. All of a sudden the door rings and the rest of the crew shows up laughing their asses off. Tony's wife had called everyone and they were on the way to inspect the scene. Ok so picture this, here I am standing in the middle of the room, with my hands on my hips and my hips thrust out with 5 dudes and 1 chick smelling my crotch. :lol Finally after about 30 minutes of cracking on the situation Tony invites me to shower at his house and gives me a pair of pants to wear home.


So today I make it a priority to get to work get my stuff and leave before the Indian chick got to work. Now I'm stuck with trying to find a legitimate reason to get my boss to transfer me to a different location. Anyhow what does everyone else think I should do? Should I talk with the chick and explain the situation of should I just say screw it and never talk to her again, and hope my boss buys my excuse for wanting a transfer? Thanks for listening.
 

Shouta

Member
Wtf, everyone stood around sniffing your crotch? Damn, you're the Alpha-male if your circle it seems :D.
 
Maybe you can delicately raise the subject with her... or something.

edit: Although, even if you did that I'm not sure you'd ever be able to bring her around your friends again.
 

DarienA

The black man everyone at Activision can agree on
Ninja Scooter said:
her father is going to come after you with a knife! HALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALA!

:lol :lol :lol :lol :lol


As for your story SR... you don't want my comments about immaturity, stupidity, dangerous bareback riding, stupidity, etc...
 

themadcowtipper

Smells faintly of rancid stilton.
You should have been like lets take a shower together, before you did the deed.she would think you are being all romantic and pimp shit like that. Always works for me when the snatch is fowl.
 

GLoK

Member
Er.. is it possible that she's coming up on or just finishing up being on the rag? God damn that is one of the worst smells in the entire fucking world.
 

Ryck

Member
Why don't you just introduce her to the wonderful world of female hygeine products(or ask her to wash shit)....also great fuckin thread!
 
-jinx- said:
Salts. Smelling SALTS.
:lol I didn't catch that bit.

First off you have a much bigger problem than a girl with hygeine issues if you hit it without a raincoat.

Second, tell her. If that's the reason you don't want to see her, then she deserves to know why.

Third. God damn. That bad?
 

demi

Member
omg :lol

i got nothing to say for that one, i'm just here laughing

pv_detroit_red_wings_01.gif
 

mrmyth

Member
Sure it ain't a cultural thing? Curry coming out of somebody's pores is NOT a pleasant thing. I can only imagine what it does to a woman's personal smell.


Either way you better tell her something before the doctor/nurses faint while delivering your baby.
 
ShadowRed said:
Half of me was disgusted at the smell; the other half was ready to hit a wet paper bag since the last time I had gotten some skin was during the Meryl Streep incident.

Meryl Streep? Huh?
 
mrmyth said:
Sure it ain't a cultural thing? Curry coming out of somebody's pores is NOT a pleasant thing. I can only imagine what it does to a woman's personal smell.


Either way you better tell her something before the doctor/nurses faint while delivering your baby.

Wow. That's just ... wrong.
 

totoro'd

Member
mrmyth said:
Either way you better tell her something before the doctor/nurses faint while delivering your baby.

omg :lol :lol

Sounds like she might've had a yeast infection (especially since she left some "evidence" on you afterwards)
 

Jim Bowie

Member
Wait! Maybe she was on her period and it usually doesn't reek like that... maybe she's very, very clean about the blood, and it just smelled rotten!

Maybe....
 

Justin Bailey

------ ------
Holy shit that story is hilarious. I dunno, if you like the girl then find a way to "jokingly" tell her (in private of course) after a while of dating, if not then then gradually stop talking to her. Total avoidance is not cool. It's always better to try and become friends.
 

android

Theoretical Magician
Shouta said:
Wtf, everyone stood around sniffing your crotch? Damn, you're the Alpha-male if your circle it seems :D.
:lol I just saw five men standing around howling and sniffing his crotch.
Sure it ain't a cultural thing? Curry coming out of somebody's pores is NOT a pleasant thing. I can only imagine what it does to a woman's personal smell.
Ugh.
 

marsomega

Member
What the FUCK are you THINKING NOW. Call her, MORNING AFTER PILL, NOW. Did you even bother to think of that before you made that post?
 

vatstep

This poster pulses with an appeal so broad the typical restraints of our societies fall by the wayside.
At first I was going to say that maybe you caught her on a bad day, like she didn't have a chance to shower or she was starting/ending her period. But considering that she invited you over and didn't object to you making a move, she had probably showered/prepared/etc; it's not like she was running around sweating all day (which can do a number, gross). So, maybe it's something longterm. You're still a dick, though.
 

KingGondo

Banned
Try bringing it up delicately, and if she's an adult she won't be offended.

It sounds like you two really *clicked*, so if the problem's correctable why ditch her?
 

Socreges

Banned
Ok that's kinda funny

But you're an awful, awful person

You're put off by the smell - you fuck her anyways since you hadn't gotten any in a while - you do it without a rubber - you tell her you love her - you lie and take off - you're ready to transfer just to avoid speaking with her again......


First off, you cannot now tell her the truth. I'm sorry, but saying "You smell so we can't be together", no matter how it's phrased, will not do either of you any good.

You still need to speak with her. For her and your own conscience....

One-night stands are fine. Meet a chick, sleep with her, never see each other again.... but this is very different. You've developed a relationship and even acted like you loved her. You should do something.
 

marsomega

Member
Socreges said:
Ok that's kinda funny

But you're an awful, awful person

You're put off by the smell - you fuck her anyways since you hadn't gotten any in a while - you do it without a rubber - you tell her you love her - you lie and take off - you're ready to transfer just to avoid speaking with her again......


First off, you cannot now tell her the truth. I'm sorry, but saying "You smell so we can't be together", no matter how it's phrased, will not do either of you any good.

You still need to speak with her. For her and your own conscience....

One-night stands are fine. Meet a chick, sleep with her, never see each other again.... but this is very different. You've developed a relationship and even came inside her. You must get tested, seek emergency contraceptive now, and close all loose ends.

Fixed
 

themadcowtipper

Smells faintly of rancid stilton.
Bah to many High and mighty people on here. You dont know if he is a bad person, It is hard when you are in the heat of things just to walk away. Alot of dudes toss the L word around after sex, most dudes are not in the right frame of mind.
 

Rei_Toei

Fclvat sbe Pnanqn, ru?
:lol Awesome, stupid stuff. But can someone explain me what exactly she smelled like? I don't understand.
 

themadcowtipper

Smells faintly of rancid stilton.
Rei_Toei said:
:lol Awesome, stupid stuff. But can someone explain me what exactly she smelled like? I don't understand.
Sounds like a question you should ask your parents, teacher, or law enforcment agent.
 

Blackie

Member
While redundant, I gotta repeat this.

How could you sex this chick up without a condom when she smells that bad? I don't care how long its been since you last got some, you just doubled fucked it up. She could be pregnant AND your dick got stained.
 
Seriously, if you really liked her, and hit if off well, then you should talk to her about it. It sounds like things were going great up until that point, and if you guys had great communication, then bring it up and talk to her about it. I know I would, if I really liked someone, but if it was just a hit-it and go type thing, then just move on I guess.

Either way, GAF will want updates! :D
 

ShadowRed

Banned
Kabuki Waq said:
whatever happened to that other chick you thought had your kid and didnt tell you about it?



Oh dude check this out. I got a DNA test and the kid wasn't mine. She lied to her mother and sister for 4 year because, get this, "The guy who knocked her up wasn't father material." "Why the heck did you screw him if he wasn't father material?" I said. I got the results bback when i was banned so i couldn't post it here and by the time I was unbanned I was passed it.
 

Azih

Member
Ninja Scooter said:
her father is going to come after you with a knife! HALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALA!
Those are Arabs... an Indian father would probably.. I dunno.. shortchange him or something.
 

darscot

Member
ShadowRed said:
Oh dude check this out. I got a DNA test and the kid wasn't mine. She lied to her mother and sister for 4 year because, get this, "The guy who knocked her up wasn't father material." "Why the heck did you screw him if he wasn't father material?" I said. I got the results bback when i was banned so i couldn't post it here and by the time I was unbanned I was passed it.

WTF, man. You had to go through that and your going in raw in chicks with repungnent odor? Some guys just never learn?
 
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