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[BlackBanditSho]

So I often get these email scams in my hotmail, and they normally make me chuckle. I'm a US born half-nigerian, so I'm super aware of their origin and reputation, and I'm sympathetic to both scammer and victim. It's amusing and cringe-worthy that these emails promise a kingdom, but really wipe your bank account.

Over the years, I've been watching the improvements in these e-scams. Better english, trickier links, and less absurd sympathy stories. We're a long way from the, "I'm a Prince that needs your help, please send money...", and this most recent letter actually made me laugh out loud. Thank God for Captain Tim! Post your emails:

Hello,
I am Captain Tim, an officer in the US Army,and also a West Point Graduate presently serving in the Military with the 82nd Air Borne Division Peace keeping force currently deployed in Afghanistan.
We were moved to Afghanistan from Iraq as the last batch just left,and i really need your help in assisting me with the safe keeping of two military trunk boxes which I will be concluding with the delivery company on your response to my mail.
I hope you can be trusted?You will be rewarded handsomely if you could help me secure the trunks until I conclude my service here.
Nevertheless, reconfirm the following informations and contact me immediately.
1.Name:
2.Address:
3.Telephone:
4.Occupation:
5.Copy of drivers license:
If you can be trusted,i will explain further when i get a response from you
God Bless America.
Captain Tim

 

[KingHenrik30]

Years ago I was selling a 65 inch Projection TV on Craigslist. This thing was a gigantic beast. I got a message from someone offering way more than I was asking - and wanted me to ship it to Africa and for me to pay the shipping. That was good for a LOL.

 

[Mr. Giggles]

Looks legit OP.

I prefer ones where I get into heaven tho

 

[NiMe Rli]

I clapped after reading that

 

[CarpeDeezNutz]

There was a very funny thread a while ago where a gaffer strung a scammer along.

Edit: lmao there it is underneath my post haha.

 

[KKRT00]

I recommend reading this goat thread - http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=877898

 

[NiMe Rli]

There was a very funny thread a while ago where a gaffer strung a scammer along.

There's a whole site dedicated to this. http://www.419eater.com/

 

[CarpeDeezNutz]

There's a whole site dedicated to this. http://www.419eater.com/

Haha yeah I have been through that site, it was something special watching the gaf thread unfold though.

 

[iNvid02]

i don't get as much of those anymore, now it's all shitty phising emails from banks and online payment processors

this was the last one i could find, seems more advanced than the broken english nigerian emails from yesteryear, they even incorporated 9/11 into it

Greetings Friend,

You may wonder why I am reaching out to you in spite of friends that I have known for years, the singular reason is that I have by the very nature of this proposition and the required confidentiality decided to deal with a person that I have not known before so that we can develop the trust and execute this transaction without a third person knowing.I would not have used this medium (Internet) but I chose to reach you through it because it is the fastest, surest and most secured medium of communication.

However, this correspondence is un-official and private, and it should be treated as such. I also guarantee you that this transaction is hitch free from all what you may think of.

I am Mrs. Veronica Bright of The Bank of East Asia USA, San Gabriel Branch,California (USA) I am contacting you based on Trust and confidentiality that will be attached to this transaction. The Management and the Legal department of our bank in a recent meeting recommended that the account of MR. DAVID ANGELLl, who was one of my branch depositors, should be declared Dormant, confiscated and the depositor's fund sent to the Bank Treasury according to American Banking and financial law.

Mr. David Angell and the wife died in world trade center as a victim of the September 11,2001 incident that befell the United States of America. The bank has made series of efforts to contact any of the relatives to claim this money but without success.

MR. DAVID ANGELL is an account holder in my branch; he owns a dollar account with the sum of 58.2M (Fifty Eight Million, two Hundred Thousand United States Dollars Only) deposited in a Secret account with my branch .In fact, since his death, no next of kin of the account holder nor any relative of him has shown up for the claim,this is because he has the account as a secret account thus he left all the documents for the deposit with me. The wife whom he signed in as his next of kin died with him on that fateful and sad day.

This is where I am interested and where I want you to come in. I want you to come in as the relation of the deceased; I will give you the relevant documents and contacts to file the application and then effect the approvals for the transfer of the funds, I will be the one to provide the vital documents for the claims of the money and then advise you exactly how we should handle it.

Please include your telephone/fax number/ Home address when replying this mail and I will give you more information as soon as you indicate your willingness to assist in this transaction. I will use my positions to get all internal documentations to back up the claims. Do not be bothered that you are not related in any way to him as I am in position to affix your name as the next of kin. The whole Procedures will last only 9 working days to get the fund retrieved successfully without trace even in future. After the transfer of the money we shall share the money 70-30, which is I will have 70% while you will have 30%.

Kindly respond promptly so I can advice you on the next step to follow.

I will be waiting to hear from you.

Yours truly,

Mrs. Veronica Bright
Bank Of East Asia (USA)

 

[bengraven]

 

[Giant Robot]

Thanks and remain Bless.

FROM THE UNITED NATIONS POLICE (UNPOL)

REGARDING RECOVERY OF YOUR LOST MONEY.


Attention:Beneficiary,


We hereby inform you that the Scotland Yard Police, Interpol, Federal Bureau of Investigation, (FBI) United States of America, the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC) of Nigeria and all the African Crime fighter leaders have come together to stop scam/Internet fraud in Nigeria and all round Africa. We have recovered over US$2.6 Billion United State Dollars from the people we have behind bars.





Listed below are the name of frustrater and banks behind the non release of your funds.

1) Sanusi Lamido

2) Ms. Carman L. Lapointe

2) Micheal Edward

3) Chief Joseph Sanusi

3) Dr Godwin Emefiele

4) Mrs. Sherry Williams

5) Robert S. Mueller, III

6) Barrister David Scott

7) Mr. James B. Comey Jr

8) Barrister Ucheuzo Williams

9) Dr. Patrick Aziza Deputy Governor - Policy / Board
Member

10) Mr. Dan Rochas (I.M.F)

11) Mrs. Tanner Williams

12) Mr Wilson Norman

13) Dr. Godwin Oboh: Director Union Bank Of
Nigeria.

14) Mr. John Collins: Global Diplomat Director.

15) Foreign fund diplomatic courie

16) Mrs. Jennifer Saldana

17) Mr Jim Ovia: Zenith Bank Plc In Nigeria






Our duty is to make sure we stop Internet scam and money laundering. As for today we have put a lot of fraudsters in jail. We go all over Africa to pick this Internet rats,We have over 8,273 of them in our jail around Africa and we are still looking for more. We are aware that a lot of foreigners out there have been deceived and lost their hard earn money to these fraudsters after promising them percentages in their letters/e-mails for their impending help to move funds out Africa including fake lottery winning notification and at the end of the day, they will collect thousands of dollars from you without a successful end. It was agreed that to retain the good image of our country and the rest of African countries, all the victims who lost his/her hard earn money to these faceless thieves will be compensated with just US$5,000,000,00 (Five Million United State Dollars).



This we assume will help you to start a new life. Please, we apologies that you take our offer as little as it is due to the fact that (victims) in our pay list are too numerous. We en-back on this pay back from the money we recovered from these fraudsters, So you are advise to contact Dr. Richard Kelly. and let him know if you are still interested to get your Master Card to you today as he have been waiting to hear from you to help him complete this delivery to you. contact him with your personal information below for the release of your Master Card worth US$5,000,000,00.



NOTE: You are advised to furnish Dr. Richard Kelly. i With $350 and also your correct and valid details. Also be informed that the amount to be paid to you is $5,000,000.00(Five Million United State Dollars). We expect your urgent response to this E-mail to enable us monitor this payment effectively thereby making contact with Dr. Richard Kelly.As directed to avoid further delay.






Provide your details below and forward it to Dr. Richard Kelly. for the release of your Master Card.

FULL NAME.......

PHONE NUMBER.....

COUNTRY....

STATE.......

SEX.............

OCCUPATION........

AGE......


Contact Namer. Richard Kelly.

Contact Email Address [email protected])






Thanks and remain Bless

Mr. Michael J. Burn.
Supervising Manager