Today in History's Greatest Simps, we look at Napoleon Bonaparte and his wife Josephine.
In all seriousness, it's a fascinating story. Napoleon was a young man, Josephine much older and previously married with children. He fell head over heels for her, but she was most likely looking for a way to maintain her spending habits and social status.
ChatGPT summarizes:
Here are a few of Napoleon's hundreds of letters to Josephine, which she often didn't bother responding to, or responded to briefly and neutrally:
"Days after Napoleon and Josephine were married, Napoleon left to command the French army near Italy. Throughout the following months, he begged her to join him in Milan for their honeymoon:"
He complained that she barely wrote him back, but kept writing emphatically himself.
Shockingly...Josephine was having an affair.
"During the First Italian Campaign Napoleon began to hear the rumors that Josephine was being unfaithful to him in his absence. He denied these rumors, even to himself, and his letters became even more passionate in response."
While he proclaimed how he wanted to kiss her little black forest a thousand times, she was getting plowed by Chad:
Well, what passes for Chad in France, at any rate.
But we can all agree that his epaulets were enormous.
"Six days later he returned to her apartment in Milan, only to find it empty. Josephine had left for Genoa — most probably with army officer Hippolyte Charles, with whom she was suspected of having an affair. He waited nine days for her return, but the wait began to arouse his suspicions."
"In mid-March 1798 Joseph's brother finally tells Napoleon outright of the rumors surrounding Josephine. Yet when he confronts her she denies everything, angrily suggesting that if he believes such lies he should divorce her. Privately she fumes against the Bonaparte family, who she believes are in league against her:"
She denied it, of course, and realizing that she could lose her wealth and status, she tried to repair their relationship and started warming up to him. Eventually his family and friends slapped enough sense into him that he accepted the truth about Josephine. Our boy was so despondent that he didn't even want to conquer Europe anymore:
Even worse, the letter was intercepted by Admiral Nelson and published in British newspapers, so the entire world found out that Josephine was cheating on him.
Eventually he divorced and remarried a 19 year old Austrian princess, Marie Louise, in part because Josephine couldn't get pregnant and Napoleon needed an heir. Josephine had tried to convince him that it was his fault that she couldn't conceive, but the truth was that she was too old. Once Napoleon started sleeping with mistresses to try to get over Josephine, and began getting them pregnant, he realized that he wasn't shooting blanks after all.
He reportedly loved Marie Louise intensely as well. His new bride reciprocated his affection, at least until the moment he lost power, at which point she briskly moved on to new lovers.
But he never got over his love for Josephine, keeping a locket with her favorite flower on his person after she died of a cold while he was in exile, and uttering her name on his death bed.
In all seriousness, it's a fascinating story. Napoleon was a young man, Josephine much older and previously married with children. He fell head over heels for her, but she was most likely looking for a way to maintain her spending habits and social status.
ChatGPT summarizes:
- Endearing Letters: Napoleon wrote numerous letters to Joséphine that were filled with passion and longing. Some of these letters, dripping with affection and sometimes desperation, show a man deeply infatuated. For example, he once wrote, "I awake full of you. Your image and the memory of last night's intoxicating pleasures has left no rest to my senses."
- Obsessive Behavior: Napoleon's fixation on Joséphine sometimes bordered on the obsessive. He would write to her constantly, sometimes multiple times a day, expressing his longing and desire to be with her.
- Turning a Blind Eye: Despite being a brilliant military tactician, Napoleon seemed to have a blind spot when it came to Joséphine's infidelities. Even when presented with evidence of her affairs, he chose to overlook them, showcasing an extreme level of tolerance or denial.
- Extravagant Spending: Joséphine was known for her extravagant tastes and incurred significant debts due to her spending habits. Napoleon, despite being aware of these financial strains, often settled her debts, further showcasing his unwavering devotion and willingness to appease her despite the blatant financial irresponsibility.
- Emotion over Strategy: There are claims that Napoleon's emotional turmoil over Joséphine might have affected his military decisions. His anguish over her rumored infidelity might have clouded his judgment during crucial military campaigns.
- Reluctance to End the Relationship: Despite the political and personal pressures to produce an heir and Joséphine's inability to do so, Napoleon hesitated for years to end the relationship. When he finally did decide to divorce her, it was a deeply emotional and public affair, with both of them declaring enduring love for each other.
- Forever in His Heart: Even after their divorce and his subsequent marriage to Marie Louise, Napoleon continued to hold a flame for Joséphine. On his deathbed, it's said that one of his last words was "Joséphine."
Here are a few of Napoleon's hundreds of letters to Josephine, which she often didn't bother responding to, or responded to briefly and neutrally:
"Days after Napoleon and Josephine were married, Napoleon left to command the French army near Italy. Throughout the following months, he begged her to join him in Milan for their honeymoon:"
Napoleon was always pleading to kiss her below the belt in his letters.
He described himself as completely emotionally dependent on her, and put her on an enormous pedestal.
He complained that she barely wrote him back, but kept writing emphatically himself.
Shockingly...Josephine was having an affair.
"During the First Italian Campaign Napoleon began to hear the rumors that Josephine was being unfaithful to him in his absence. He denied these rumors, even to himself, and his letters became even more passionate in response."
While he proclaimed how he wanted to kiss her little black forest a thousand times, she was getting plowed by Chad:
Well, what passes for Chad in France, at any rate.
But we can all agree that his epaulets were enormous.
"Six days later he returned to her apartment in Milan, only to find it empty. Josephine had left for Genoa — most probably with army officer Hippolyte Charles, with whom she was suspected of having an affair. He waited nine days for her return, but the wait began to arouse his suspicions."
"In mid-March 1798 Joseph's brother finally tells Napoleon outright of the rumors surrounding Josephine. Yet when he confronts her she denies everything, angrily suggesting that if he believes such lies he should divorce her. Privately she fumes against the Bonaparte family, who she believes are in league against her:"
He contemplated suicide after finding out about the entanglement.
She denied it, of course, and realizing that she could lose her wealth and status, she tried to repair their relationship and started warming up to him. Eventually his family and friends slapped enough sense into him that he accepted the truth about Josephine. Our boy was so despondent that he didn't even want to conquer Europe anymore:
Even worse, the letter was intercepted by Admiral Nelson and published in British newspapers, so the entire world found out that Josephine was cheating on him.
Eventually he divorced and remarried a 19 year old Austrian princess, Marie Louise, in part because Josephine couldn't get pregnant and Napoleon needed an heir. Josephine had tried to convince him that it was his fault that she couldn't conceive, but the truth was that she was too old. Once Napoleon started sleeping with mistresses to try to get over Josephine, and began getting them pregnant, he realized that he wasn't shooting blanks after all.
He reportedly loved Marie Louise intensely as well. His new bride reciprocated his affection, at least until the moment he lost power, at which point she briskly moved on to new lovers.
But he never got over his love for Josephine, keeping a locket with her favorite flower on his person after she died of a cold while he was in exile, and uttering her name on his death bed.
