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Official Stream
Thursday, February 25
8:30 PM EST
Final Destination, Texas
Background Music
MODERATORS
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Sandbag
Wolf Blitzer
wants to be smacked around
Randall the Cloud
Hugh Hewitt
don't expect him to save you
Homerun Bat
Maria Celeste Arraras
swing and a mess
Fighting Wire Frame
Dana Bash
repurposed by programmers
FREE FOR ALL
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Jigglypuff
Ben Carson
needs his rest - made sure item switch had hammers on
Fox
Marco Rubio
flubbed his time to shine - try again in 20XX
Captain Falcon
Donald Trump
blew a three stock lead - wanted it to end in sudden death
Falco
Ted Cruz
cocky R-Winger - obnoxious to play against
Marth
John Kasich
looking for tips - establishment says "no Johns"
TRAINING DUMMIES
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Pichu
Rick Perry
joke candidate - hurts himself when he opens his mouth
Pikachu
Scott Walker
disappointed his Pokemon master - used quick attack and fell off stage
Kirby
Lindsey Graham
lives in Dream Land - he sucks
Roy
Bobby Jindal
scrubs think he's the best - spams counter to deflect compliments
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Mewtwo
George Pataki
finally unlocked his podium slot - memory card corrupted
Link
Mike Huckabee
spin attacks became predictable - even his boomerang ditched him
Young Link
Rick Santorum
needs to grow up - huge Cassandra complex
Ness
Rand Paul
hippie basher - kept calling his dad to save his campaign
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Samus
Carly Fiorina
empty suit - learning how to L cancel
Ganondorf
Chris Christie
inferior Trump clone - slow running speed
Mr. Game and Watch
Jim Gilmore
campaigned in another dimension - presidential run was on his bucket list
Zelda
Jeb Bush
acts like royalty - forgot to press Down B
YOU MUST RECOVER
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COIN BATTLE
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Bowser
Hillary Clinton
bumbled delegate kidnapping
Donkey Kong
Bernie Sanders
wants to turn America into a banana republic
TROPHY HOARD
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Peach
Joe Biden
heir to the throne
Yoshi
Jim Webb
suspected cannibal
Mario
Martin O'Malley
union thug
Luigi
Lincoln Chafee
Mr. L
Dr. Mario
Lawrence Lessig
had a prescription for America's ills
ALL-STAR
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Ice Climbers
Barack and Michelle Obama
better together - fans wanted a third term
DEBATE PREVIEW
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