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[Chuck Berry]

No joke, it's in a case screwed to this column right behind my coworkers desk. It's six feet away from me. What the fuck

As if any of us knuckleheads are qualified enough to even use one of these things if an emergency really did happen

I guess we can break it out and use it on someone as a joke if they fall asleep at their desk.

I won't go into what I do for a living, but this is highly unusual for my line of work. Does anyone here have one of these in their office that isn't a medical building?

 

[Maiden Voyage]

They have instructions and are pretty idiot proof. I’d recommend trying in an emergency situation rather than letting a colleague die. Unless of course you work in insurance.

 

[Chuck Berry]

They have instructions and are pretty idiot proof. I’d recommend trying in an emergency situation rather than letting a colleague die. Unless of course you work in insurance.

Nice man lol

 

[Dacvak]

See if you can cook an egg or something with it.

 

[Cyberpunkd]

They have instructions and are pretty idiot proof. I’d recommend trying in an emergency situation rather than letting a colleague die. Unless of course you work in insurance.

 

[Hookshot]

I saw something recently that showed that because you have to fully remove someone's clothes to use them, nobody saves women as they don't want to be accused of anything.

 

[Mossybrew]

AEDs have become pretty common in offices, government buildings, etc.

 

[ForAcademicPurposes]

 

[ssringo]

We have several around our site but the company takes health and safety very seriously. We also have response teams for medical emergencies and chemical spills.

 

[Chuck Berry]

We have several around our site but the company takes health and safety very seriously. We also have response teams for medical emergencies and chemical spills.

Sounds like you work in a place that needs that kinda stuff around

I basically work in the world of Office Space. It's just an odd addition.

Then again we have sweets and snacks and sodas all over the fucking place so maybe its a good idea.

Save the local tubby for ingesting too many kitkats, fritos and sweet teas.

 

[JohnnyPhats]

They're actually a very good thing to have. If it hasn't happened already, you should encourage they hold a training class for it. They can save a life.

 

[EverydayBeast]

 

[Chuck Berry]

They're actually a very good thing to have. If it hasn't happened already, you should encourage they hold a training class for it. They can save a life.

No mention of any training classes yet, but I would think there's gotta be something eventually......

...right? lol

 

[JohnnyPhats]

I would hope so

 

[RagnarokIV]

No mention of any training classes yet, but I would think there's gotta be something eventually......

...right? lol

Could go either way. I worked somewhere that had all the gear but no idea.
It was just there to tick boxes for insurance.

 

[dem]

My kids play hockey and they have these in every rink/arena.

I think they put them into a lot of public places now. I wouldn't be surprised at all if they put one in our office.

 

[Evolved1]

No joke, it's in a case screwed to this column right behind my coworkers desk. It's six feet away from me. What the fuck

As if any of us knuckleheads are qualified enough to even use one of these things if an emergency really did happen

I guess we can break it out and use it on someone as a joke if they fall asleep at their desk.

I won't go into what I do for a living, but this is highly unusual for my line of work. Does anyone here have one of these in their office that isn't a medical building?

You mean an AED? Uh… yeah, that’s normal.

 

[N0S]

OP living in some third world country

 

[Drake]

many years ago when I worked in an office we had one of these installed. You had to take a class to be authorized to use it.

 

[Saiyan-Rox]

Skill issue

 

[Brigandier]

Troll thread??

Last time I checked they can save people's lives and are a good thing to have around if someone has had a cardiac arrest.

People having a cardiac arrest isn't exclusive to certain sectors of employment or activities lol it can happen anywhere anytime.

If you can't use one the emergency services will guide you over the phone unless you're deaf and dumb???

I'm not sure what's so unusual or hilarious about having one around your work place at least you have an employer who has had one installed for you.

 

[Chuck Berry]

OP living in some third world country

Yeah, called Southern Florida

 

[Robot Carnival]

maybe it's the management's way to tell you guys that you're all too fat and in risk of a heart attack?

seriously thou, just follow the instructions on it and use it on someone who's in need if it ever happens. they're pretty common in a lot of countries.

 

[N0S]

Yeah, called Southern Florida

 

[TwiztidElf]

Defibrillators being installed in offices is quite normal now? Huh. Ok.

 

[VulcanRaven]

I had first aid training not long ago and the defibrillators you can find here in public places are easy to use. They even have a microphone that tells how to use them step by step.

 

[lifa-cobex]

Let's be honest here.

Statistically a fire breaking out and you having to use a fire extinguisher?
How often do the extinguishers get replaced before the need to use one ever breaks out?
The odds are probably going to be the same for the use of an office defibrillator.
Even then the fire brigade or paramedics are going to do the job better than you anyway.

Just break it out and use it. Stick it on the side of a computer and hit the button. Aren't you curious?
You have got one life to live and doing this will scratch an unbelievable itch.
You would be that one guy in a thousand, maybe million that actually goes for it and has the ability to tell the tail.

If you plan it right. You could even do it and keep your job.
Fuck! How amazing would that be!? That dopamine feeling of absolute success.

You would take that into your old age and your grandchildren would tell the legend of how grandpa stuck the pads on some full coke cans just to see what would happen.
They would reminisce about you long after you pass each Christmas. You would be the man that stuck the pads on his co-workers balls and hit that shiny button. Just for the fun of it.
I believe in you OP.

 

[FunkMiller]

Walk through any supermarket in America and you’ll easily see why it’s a good idea to have a defibrillator absolutely everywhere.

 

[PuppetMaster]

We have them all over our office. I even attended a session on how to use them. They are pretty idiot proof. There are voice instructions on how to use them when you turn them on.

 

[jonnyp]

No joke, it's in a case screwed to this column right behind my coworkers desk. It's six feet away from me. What the fuck

As if any of us knuckleheads are qualified enough to even use one of these things if an emergency really did happen

I guess we can break it out and use it on someone as a joke if they fall asleep at their desk.

I won't go into what I do for a living, but this is highly unusual for my line of work. Does anyone here have one of these in their office that isn't a medical building?

It's easy to use and there are instructions on the machine itself. It's not rocket science. Welcome to the first world where this is standard.

 

[Chuck Berry]

It's easy to use and there are instructions on the machine itself. It's not rocket science. Welcome to the first world where this is standard.

It isnt standard you twat. If it was standard it wouldnt be a fucking surprise to me and the rest of the employees here. And Ive unfortunately been in offices for decades.

 

[6502]

Most offices of a certain size have them these days. They aren't cheap either so it's a good thing not to be abused.

 

[Mr1999]

We have to 6S everything at our area once hired and then get audited for it every month. Evacuation plans, designated first responders, eye wash stations, safety glasses, protective boots with metacarpals, flags at each area that lets people know where the extinguishers are, and also defibrillators and an on site EHS Manager to make sure its all followed through.

 

[Wheeljack539]

They have instructions and are pretty idiot proof. I’d recommend trying in an emergency situation rather than letting a colleague die. Unless of course you work in insurance.

Make it idiot proof and God will make a better idiot.

Lord knows I'd end up being the better idiot due to my tendency to overthink.

 

[SJRB]

Imagine having a heart attack and the only person in the office with you is fucking doofus OP who thinks it's strange that there's a defibrillator in the first place.

RIP in peace.


Take a training. It takes 60 minutes and will last you a lifetime.

 

[Zelduh]

It's a completely normal thing. You can even buy personal ones online to have in your house/apartment. They're completely safe to use and won't deliver a shock if they don't detect a shockable heart rythym

 

[Chuck Berry]

Imagine having a heart attack and the only person in the office with you is fucking doofus OP who thinks it's strange that there's a defibrillator in the first place.

RIP in peace.


Take a training. It takes 60 minutes and will last you a lifetime.

It was a surprise to everyone. Sorry I dont have the ivory tower-defib-on-every-corner job that you fucks have. Good lord and christ. Forget I even said anything

And for the record Ive had my CPR training

But I wouldnt save any of you pricks in here even if you paid me

Eat my ass SJRB

 

[SJRB]

It was a surprise to everyone. Sorry I dont have the ivory tower-defib-on-every-corner job that you fucks have. Good lord and christ. Forget I even said anything

And for the record Ive had my CPR training

But I wouldnt save any of you pricks in here even if you paid me

Eat my ass SJRB

 

[chakadave]

So you had cpr training yet think it’s dumb?

You know cpr doesn’t start he heart back up right?

AED is basically idiot proof at this point.

 

[Chuck Berry]

So you had cpr training yet think it’s dumb?

You know cpr doesn’t start he heart back up right?

AED is basically idiot proof at this point.

I don’t think it’s dumb. I never said it was dumb.

You however..

 

[chakadave]

You said WTF? and then this
"As if any of us knuckleheads are qualified enough to even use one of these things if an emergency really did happen "

It really isn't that big of a deal and you really should think its kinda cool.

They are pretty ubiquitous nowadays for insurance purposes.

 

[BigBeauford]

We had a guy who, after walking up the stairs in our office building, just collapsed. Someone used the AED on him, but he still died. Was in his 40s. You can never be too sure.

 

[V1LÆM]

They are “everywhere” here. Some old phone boxes were converted to hold them. Nobody uses pay phones anymore so rather than remove the boxes they just rip out the phones and put in the defibs.

You’ll also find them in places like churches, shopping centres, schools/colleges, car parks, etc.

I’ve had someone close to me die of a heart attack out in public. Maybe if they had one back then they’d still be alive. Nothing weird or funny about it.

 

[Rentahamster]

Don't stick your dick in it.

 

[ReBurn]

Get a buddy and take turns stopping and restarting each other's hearts.

 

[Mistake]

Walk through any supermarket in America and you’ll easily see why it’s a good idea to have a defibrillator absolutely everywhere.

I think we should instead remove the electric scooters and let everything sort itself out

 

[AJUMP23]

My work has them on every floor. Pretty common place and once you hook up the machine it does all the work.

 

[Chuck Berry]

You said WTF? and then this
"As if any of us knuckleheads are qualified enough to even use one of these things if an emergency really did happen "

It really isn't that big of a deal and you really should think its kinda cool.

They are pretty ubiquitous nowadays for insurance purposes.

I know it isn’t a big deal. But it was still surprising to see some dude just come in and nail this shit to the local column I was making jokes dude.

I just think it’s hilarious that the immediate response to my surprise to it was “Duh you fucking retard.” And “What planet are you fucking from?”

 

[Trilobit]

I've been thinking about taking one of those CPR classes. You never know when it could be useful. My country has a text-message service you can sign up for so that if someone in your area needs help until the ambulance arrives you'll be notified.

Spoiler

You never know if a grandma has someone like Sydney Sweeney as their grandchild.

 

[Maiden Voyage]

I saw something recently that showed that because you have to fully remove someone's clothes to use them, nobody saves women as they don't want to be accused of anything.

Good samaritan laws exist to protect the person helping. This was specifically called out for me in the training I went through last year so it's definitely come up before.