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[Bullet Club]

Teen Attempts To Measure Manhood; Gets USB Cable Stuck In Penis​

A UK teenager had to undergo an incredibly unfortunate surgery after attempting to measure his manhood.

According to a case from the medical journal Urology Case Reports, a 15-year-old attempted to measure his penis which ended up with a USB cable getting lodged in his urethra.

Somehow, nearly the entire knotted cord was stuck inside of him and he began urinating blood.

His own attempts to pull the cord out were unsuccessful.

After he admitted to the doctors that his sexual curiosity got the best of him, the teen had to undergo surgery. Luckily, he kept his parts intact and was discharged the following day.




The New York Post adds:

Per the report, the embarrassed boy asked to speak to doctors without his mother present, whereupon he “confessed” to his frightening escapade.
Subsequent X-rays revealed that there was a veritable Gordian knot of USB wire inside the teenager, which required surgeons to make an incision in the region between his genitals and anus to yank it out. They pulled the spooled end through the hole first, cutting it free from the rest of the wire before removing the remaining bits — literally pulling the plug.

A follow-up two weeks later gave the boy the good news that there would be no lasting damage.

So, if any of you heathens have any curiosity in the future, stop short of plugging yourself in. Because no one wants to go through that.

Source: Busted Coverage

It's not the first time Bullet Club News has reported this kind of phenomena on GAF.

Man puts phone charger cable up his penis. Gets stuck in bladder

A man put a cell phone charger up his penis -- it got stuck in his bladder and had to be removed by surgeons (CNN) An Indian man who went to hospital with abdominal pain had inserted a mobile phone charger cable into his penis, a doctor who treated him told CNN on Monday. The man visited a...

www.neogaf.com

We need to go back to the old days of the internet, where people just tried to shove things up their ass instead of up their dickholes.

 

[*Nightwing]

Edit: https://www.washingtonpost.com/trav...am-that-steals-travelers-private-information/

Da hackerz now have his penis’es password

 

[jufonuk]

Did he get it In first try or did he have to rotate it and try again ?

 

[ManaByte]

 

[plushyp]

 

[Armorian]

So did he successfully measured his penis at least?

 

[Dr.Morris79]

I knew it'd be a Bullet club thread just from the thread title, doing the lords work. These threads always make me feel better about my fucked up life

Maybe it's not all bad after all.

If you was that kid you couldnt go out again. You did shit like this in my town during the nineties you may as well of hung yourself

 

[nightmare-slain]

shit, that's a USB-A port lol how the heck did he manage that?

 

[poppabk]

No-one is measiring their dick from the inside. Kid may as well be honest, the getting a USB cable stuck inside your dick is the embarrassing part, the why is secondary.

 

[LordCBH]

 

[AJUMP23]

That Xray.....not much to measure.

 

[Marvel]

Just use a ruler man

 

[AnotherOne]

Must've been a huge dongle.

 

[The Cockatrice]

 

[KiNeMz]

USB C works better IMO

 

[Nobody_Important]

Instructions unclear. Got my dick stuck in the ceiling fan.

 

[haxan7]

He couldn't have used dental floss like a normal person?

 

[SirTerry-T]

Are fuckers so socially, physically and mentally inept these days that even the simple rights of passage task of measuring your dong has become something that's as mentally challenging as asking plankton to solve advance calculus?
It's Friday, I'm about to finish work and this fucking idiot has ruined my weekend with the damage he's done to my already fragile trust in the future of this species.

 

[GamingKaiju]

How why?

 

[TGO]

Why would even...

 

[Star-Lord]

USB? More like USP(enis), amiryte?

 

[EverydayBeast]

Teen Attempts To Measure Manhood; Gets USB Cable Stuck In Penis​

 

[Rentahamster]

Did the doctors hear this when they pulled it out?

 

[p_xavier]

Yeah, should have at least be a USB-C cable. Now getting that out, it'll be more of a firewire.

 

[Putonahappyface]

I can't imagine how badly he freaked out when he couldn't retrieve that cable.

 

[DKehoe]

That wasn't even the first time he stuck it in. He tried it the other way round first then pulled it out, turned it over and went back for a second attempt.

 

[The Pleasure]

 

[DoomGyver]

How will he ever look his parents in the eye again? Oof

 

[OmegaSupreme]

I weep for the future

 

[nush]

So how long was his penis?

 

[Osaka_Boss]

It said on the box it was just plug and play, so...

 

[DragoonKain]

Urinary Serial Bus

 

[MaestroMike]

I feel like I read this story before.

 

[lifa-cobex]

 

[chromhound]

Plug N Play

 

[Rran]

Holy cow, dude, just use a ruler. Assuming you don't cram it inside your urethra...

 

[Nitty_Grimes]

There was a story a few years ago in the press whereby a vicar had gone to hospital because of a full size cucumber stuck up his arse. His story… well read on…

He was hanging curtains. In the nude. Like everyone does, you know when he slipped and fell backward onto a cucumber that was somehow standing up lengthways. Not only did he have the misfortune of falling over, he landed directly onto the cucumber which accidentally went all the way up his arse.

 

[Armorian]

Just use a ruler man

This boy would stick it inside his penis.

Imagine this on xray

 

[triplestation]

what a dumass

 

[SirTerry-T]

In my day we just used one of these...right lads?!?!

 

[Meicyn]

His parents need to google “sounding” to uncover the real story.

 

[The Pleasure]

So how long was his penis?

The smallest usb cable.

 

[Buggy Loop]

Omg wut?

I can’t even imagine a Q-tip going through the urethra, how the fuck you get a USB-A through that?

He was drugged out of his mind right? I can’t imagine how else.

 

[carlosrox]

Uh how does this make any sense?

Wouldn't the pain be unbearable? How could he possibly get far enough for it to make it anywhere near all the way inside?

 

[*Nightwing]

https://apps.apple.com/us/app/measure/id1383426740

Lying little shit

 

[Alter_Fridge]

Did he get it In first try or did he have to rotate it and try again ?

BRUH

 

[Alter_Fridge]

That wasn't even the first time he stuck it in. He tried it the other way round first then pulled it out, turned it over and went back for a second attempt.

I reckon I'm literally batting .900 the wrong way first time

Definite statistical anomaly

 

[YoshiMadness]

Literally me

 

[CovidPacman]

lol He was probably trying out "sounding" of which in the femdom world entails having a mistress sticking a hollow metal tube down your urethra/dick hole and essentially fucking it.
Our guy got in way over his head however if you get what I mean....

 

[DeepEnigma]