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What do you think about marriage?
- Thread starter bobafett
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Error Macro
Member
I definitely plan on getting married. Probably sooner rather than later. The only problem is finding a decent girl these days.
shoplifter
Member
so say the non-married folks 
you bunch of losers
I definitely want to get married at some point. Will it happen? I hope so. As far as the why goes... who wouldn't want to spend the rest of their life in an intimate relationship with someone who can be considered their best friend? If you find the right person, marriage seems to be totally worth it in my book.
Error Macro
Member
Willco said:
NO! I WILL NEVER LEAVE! IT WILL STILL BE THE SAME, RIGHT GUYS? RIGHT??!
As far as to why I want to, read pops619's reply. I don't suspect this will be anytime soon though; I meant sooner rather than later relative to some people that want to stretch out single life as long as possible, and don't end up getting married until well into their 30's. I'm only 23; I have a while to go yet.
impirius said:
Yep.
I'm in a very serious relationship, and we plan on being together forever-- but marriage is not part of our plan in any way shape or form. She's got issues with the institution (as do I, but not quite as strong as her), I really don't give a fuck one way or the other, and neither of us is down with a wedding. That doesn't mean we're not 115% committed to one another or anything. What changes when you get married? You're legally recognized as a couple, you have some different tax breaks, and you get some cheaper insurance and other "family discounts." Nothing should change in the relationship, one way or the other. I mean if you're committed to each other for life, than you should be that way always; getting married shouldn't "cement" it or whatever. So basically, if nothing changes, what's the point? Other than pleasing parents. Which I'm obviously not going to do. But fuck them. They've said all along they just want me to be happy- this is how I'm happy, so stop riding my ass about having a wedding. Thx.
Lambtron said:
I'm in a similar situation, but we're gonna get married because we feel like it, not to please our parents. We're not going to have a ceremony or rent clothes or pick a cake or any of that crap.
We're just gonna have a big old boozy party to celebrate the fact that we found each other.
There are worse reasons to throw a party.
Error Macro
Member
So why not have a quickie Vegas-style wedding and enjoy the benefits of marriage?
EDIT: This is in response to Lambtron's post.
EDIT: This is in response to Lambtron's post.
Error Macro said:
She doesn't want to get married, mainly because it was set up as an institution to mark women as "property" or whatever. So she's personally against it. Like I said, I don't care either way, honestly. Being with her is more than enough for me.
Flynn: We may throw a big party before we move or whatever, though. There are worse reasons to throw a party, you are correct. But not a $20000 party.
bobafett said:
Well, technically it is a social convention. As to whether or not people are happier married or not depends on the people. I've certainly never met anyone that I want to be around for that long every day - if I do, then I'd consider it. Other people seem to need other people around constantly, though, so marriage would certainly be good for them.
Drinky Crow
Banned
Love it. One of the few truly good decisions I've made.
shoplifter
Member
words ring true ^^^^
same here, my wife said if i finished working on the computer room we'd play some Puzzle Bobble tonight...hopefully of the strip variety
Drinky Crow said:
same here, my wife said if i finished working on the computer room we'd play some Puzzle Bobble tonight...hopefully of the strip variety
-Fightnfire-
Member
My Girlfriend and I have been together over 3 years. Marriage .... probably one day.
shoplifter
Member
Matlock said:
And you all wish you could do it too
Drinky Crow
Banned
Well, we play Hot Shots Golf instead. Unfortunately not the strip variety, but if she starts to outdrive me, I'll poke her titty in retaliation.
shoplifter
Member
Golf sounds like it might be doable. So far we've limited it to Puzzle Fighter and Puzzle Bobble since she can actually beat me at those.
shoplifter
Member
If I can manage to hook the old Telstar up, that's probably a go.
Lambtron said:
Amen to that. There's no way we're gonna spend that kind of money. I was thinking something along the lines of a couple thousand (my friends can put away booze like nobody's business).
All you wedding haters can find futher ammo in the fascinating story from the New Yorker by Rebecca Mead about the "Wedding Industry."
I don't really see the point of it. If you want to be with someone, be with them. Why must you involve the government and church in your relationship? In my opinion, the need for two people to get their relationship put on paper stems more from insecurity than anything else. That, and the fact that it's a social convention and people look at you funny if you're middle-aged and unmarried.
Raoul Duke said:
Shit man, sorry. Gotta be a wierd situation. My parents almost did the divorce thing. Can't imagine what it would feel like actually happening, twice for that matter.
Anyways, anyone saying 'I hope I get married', or 'I want to get married' is on the wrong track. Your life should be determined by your own ambitions, not finding someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. You find 'teh woman' when you are persuing independance, not dependance.
If you find the right person, it's great. If you don't, you shouldn't do it. With my wife and I, it's more of a best friend thing. And a property thing (in the sense of things we own). Overall it just makes things easier, and I see no really valid reasons to be against it. Our ceremony was also very small and I wouldn't have had it any other way.
And saying "I'll never" is really no better than saying "I will." Either way you're shutting off a perfectly valid possibility.
And saying "I'll never" is really no better than saying "I will." Either way you're shutting off a perfectly valid possibility.
Minotauro said:
Why do we graduate from school?
Why at the end over every sports season is team dubbed champion?
Why do we have proms, or bar mitzvas or birthdays.
I think rituals and rites are ways humans mark their time on the planet, they are ways of cementing ideas or affirming someones place in society.
Some are old fashioned and others wrong headed and even inhumane (such as female circumcision) but there's obviously a need for them, or else people wouldn't continually take part in ancient ones and invent new one.
Agreed. Problem is, half the people are too stupid to realize that it isn't the right person.
Too many shitty, pointless marriages have really taken away the meaning of the ritual. People like J Lo + that singer guy who marry in less than a year of knowing each other should really think twice. If people could somehow be forced to spend at least 2 years together before marriage, the world would be a less screwed up place.
Agree with what you're saying 100%, duder. If you're happy and enjoying your life, a good chicka will be more apt to want to join you for the ride than if you're a miserable, crying loser forsaken by God. Of course, no artist is satisfied, so I guess artist marriages don't ever work out. Meh.Pattergen said:
As for the divorce thing, yeah it kind of fucked with me. I mean they got divorced for the first time when I was eight, he immediately got married to another woman and my mom freaked out and moved my sister and I on top of a mountain in rural Appalachia. Then my dad's new wife didn't work out, and when I was 12 they got back together again(for my sister and I, at least I think so). That didn't work out, so two years later and they're split again. I remember the day I decided not to let it fuck with me anymore... I just decided that I could continue to be a sad, miserable little bastard or choose to accept it and move on. Never looked back since! And I'm fit as a fiddle! Well, maybe.
Neo_ZX said:
Well I don't know if I agree with all that. I really have no problem with marriage meaning less than a lifelong commitment anymore. I'm hard pressed to come up with any specific ills of society *caused* by divorce. It's more a symptom than a root problem, and addressing the symptom rarely cures anything.
I think society would be better off if *less* emphasis were placed on it, if anything. People should be free to have it mean what they want it to mean, even if that causes divorce rates to rise. In the end it's just paperwork and it can't make unhappy people happy by default.
I also find it hard to support the idea that people being together for 2+ years before marriage would reduce the divorce rate. After all, people have been happy for 10 or more years of marriage only to have it fall apart after all that. The number of years you manage to be happy is not a defense against divorce imo. It either happens or it doesn't, and I think people should be more supportive of people who's needs change when they go out and do something about it.
Mostly I feel that people should do it to indicate a strong commitment to someone that goes beyond merely friendship and/or sex. I'm all for opening the meaning of the term up to all sorts of alternative arrangement as well.
In the end, love is good, committed relationships are good, and giving people positive incentive to enter into these arrangements can't be a bad thing, so long as it's done fairly.
I do agree, though, that marriage is not something that should be sought any more than avoided. You'll know if you want to make that commitment, whether you get the government to sign off on it or not.
its all down to the environment you were brought up in, and your outlook on life. Trust me, that last one can and will change over time.
Me? Brought up in a traditional married household and I have strong positive images of marriage. Same with my wife. So we saw marriage as a perfectly natural thing and a way of properly showing how much we mean to each other.
If you have negative experiences of marriage (breakups etc) then you may be more likely to think that it either doesn't matter, or is a bad thing (causes problems etc).
As for kids, thats the same thing. For my wife it was something she wanted, and I actually grew into wanting some. Now we've got one I'm not so sure (3 year olds are more random than the best ranting internet fanboy), but I think it would be lonely to grow old with just the two of us, and no legacy.
But thats just my viewpoint and yours is just as valid.
Me? Brought up in a traditional married household and I have strong positive images of marriage. Same with my wife. So we saw marriage as a perfectly natural thing and a way of properly showing how much we mean to each other.
If you have negative experiences of marriage (breakups etc) then you may be more likely to think that it either doesn't matter, or is a bad thing (causes problems etc).
As for kids, thats the same thing. For my wife it was something she wanted, and I actually grew into wanting some. Now we've got one I'm not so sure (3 year olds are more random than the best ranting internet fanboy), but I think it would be lonely to grow old with just the two of us, and no legacy.
But thats just my viewpoint and yours is just as valid.
MrPing1000
Member
I find its much a do about nothing. The problem is in the UK at least, if you want legal things like buying a house and crap then u have to get married. IE if two people love eachother and live together for the rest of their lives, they have a lot less rights than a married couple. Which is retarded
DCX
DCX
I cannot be happy alone...i'm co-Dependant when it comes to being happy. I need to have someone to please, i need a companion...i need to be loved in the same token. I'm single now, in the process of getting divorced...i didn't love my wife...and the relationship was very fucked up to begin with, i stuck it out...maybe loyalty, maybe obligation...either way, it went on to long...i vowed that i wouldn't stay in a relationship just to have someone there, alot of people do this, they don't leave because _________ and just be depressed the entire marriage.
Not me, unfortunately i found a woman i love and truly know is my soul mate and she's married We hooked up after she left her husband and i guess she wasn't really ready to leave...which sucked for us because we fell in love....love is pain, and love is beautiful.
DCX
Not me, unfortunately i found a woman i love and truly know is my soul mate and she's married
We hooked up after she left her husband and i guess she wasn't really ready to leave...which sucked for us because we fell in love....love is pain, and love is beautiful.DCX
elitehebrew
Member
Honestly i want to wait for a little while on that kinda stuff b/c i'm nearing the end of my second year in college and i still have a couple more, and until i'm out i don't want anything to serious b/c that would distract me alot. But i don't think i'm ready right now either i just want to have so much fun doing all the cool things there is to do in life b/c if i settle down now i'll regret it when i'm forty have kids and a wife and then my evening consists of throwing a baseball with my kids *snores*
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