Neutron Night
Banned
If you had the power to totally control the entire industry, if you could channel certain developers into making certain games, mold all games into exactly what you wanted, control everything Bruce Almighty-style, what would you do?
First, I'd eliminate all the shit games like Big Mutha Fucka Trucka and exile the people behind them to the depths of space.
Second, all portable systems on Earth would be cast into a single bonfire that spreads to the heavens.
Third, I would send AM2 to complete Shenmue 3-8, each game being bigger and more perfect than the last. Shenmue 8 would have a budget of $12 billion. If Yu Suzuki complained he was tired, I would cast pestilence upon him until the masterpiece was complete.
Third, I'd make sure 90% of all games were RPG/strategy/simulation games. And they would all be good. When it tickles my fancy I would allow another type of game to be created. But only if it was the epitome of perfection in an inperfect world.
Fourth, all games would be released as collectors editions inlaid with pure platinum and gold, and they would all come with 300+ page color manuals with the fragrance of merr. All cover art would be classical in quality, soaring to the upper boundries of human potential.
Fifth, all videogame magazines wouldn't suck.
Sixth, uppity people like Trip Hawkins and Lorne Lanning would shut the fuck up.
Seventh, the ultimate MMORPG would be commisioned, Known Universe Online. A game that would take more 15 billion years to travel across, assuming you could travel at nearly the speed of light. Instead of arbitrary game limitations, you would be free to roam the plane of meta-existential logic, with everything from quantum gravitational fluctuations to sub-harmonic resonance frequences to what the fuck was I talking about, let's just move on to the next one.
Eighth, people who disagree with my neo-fascist policies would be "adjusted", so as to make a more perfect individual.
Uhhhhh....So, what would you do?
First, I'd eliminate all the shit games like Big Mutha Fucka Trucka and exile the people behind them to the depths of space.
Second, all portable systems on Earth would be cast into a single bonfire that spreads to the heavens.
Third, I would send AM2 to complete Shenmue 3-8, each game being bigger and more perfect than the last. Shenmue 8 would have a budget of $12 billion. If Yu Suzuki complained he was tired, I would cast pestilence upon him until the masterpiece was complete.
Third, I'd make sure 90% of all games were RPG/strategy/simulation games. And they would all be good. When it tickles my fancy I would allow another type of game to be created. But only if it was the epitome of perfection in an inperfect world.
Fourth, all games would be released as collectors editions inlaid with pure platinum and gold, and they would all come with 300+ page color manuals with the fragrance of merr. All cover art would be classical in quality, soaring to the upper boundries of human potential.
Fifth, all videogame magazines wouldn't suck.
Sixth, uppity people like Trip Hawkins and Lorne Lanning would shut the fuck up.
Seventh, the ultimate MMORPG would be commisioned, Known Universe Online. A game that would take more 15 billion years to travel across, assuming you could travel at nearly the speed of light. Instead of arbitrary game limitations, you would be free to roam the plane of meta-existential logic, with everything from quantum gravitational fluctuations to sub-harmonic resonance frequences to what the fuck was I talking about, let's just move on to the next one.
Eighth, people who disagree with my neo-fascist policies would be "adjusted", so as to make a more perfect individual.
Uhhhhh....So, what would you do?
