Neutron Night
Banned
Jesus, somebody screwed up. I've only played MM 1 and 2 so far, but I'm already pissed off
1. The remixed music sucks. I was hoping for some badass Genz-style techno remixes that take 4 minutes to loop, instead I get some annoying crap with shitty J-Pop/rock instruments that last no longer than the original track. And WHY THE HELL aren't all the tracks remixed? What fucking stupid worthless POS forgot to remix Metal Man? What about Quick Man? Flash Man? If these tracks were remixed, I didn't notice, which tells you something about the "remixes"!
2. The stages aren't small. They're microscopic. I know it's been a while since I played the original games, but I remember them being something remotely substantial. When you can blast through 4 or 5 stages in an hour, what's the point? I went through most of the stages and was like "That's IT??? You have GOT to be kidding me!" I can't believe I used to like these games. Man, how our heros come back to Earth.
3. Whoever put these stages together must have gotten their degree from Joe Bob's House of Level Design. They are filled with shitty gameplay. For example, in Crash Man's stage, when you're SLOOOOOWLY climbing up those damn ladders, and those freaking birds drop those eggs filled with little birds, and there's absolutely nothing you can do about it, because Mega Man is a pussy who can't shoot worth shit. So you can hit and fill back into the next screen, then you climb up again and the same shit happens, until you get lucky and they manage to drop the birds in a place you can shoot.
I also like how Mega Man slips off platforms like there's grease on his shoes, and how fucking enemies hit you from afar with shitty collision detection. Fun, please? Any fun here? Have you seen fun? Earth to fun, COME IN PLEASE!
I also like those crappy bosses like that shitty yellow cyclops in MM1. Skill? Nah, I don't think we'll be using any of THAT. Just memorize those fucking pieces as they go across the screen. Wake me when I've memorized this shit, it's frightening to think all games used to be like this.
4. I this worth $30? I think not. We've evolved past this shit. I bought this game out of a misplace memory of what these games were. I remembered them being good. Maybe they were in 1990. In 2004, they suck. And Atomic Shitty Planet screwed up on the music, the bonus features, and the fucking manual is black and white. In short, this sucks. I want the treasured memories of my youth back.
1. The remixed music sucks. I was hoping for some badass Genz-style techno remixes that take 4 minutes to loop, instead I get some annoying crap with shitty J-Pop/rock instruments that last no longer than the original track. And WHY THE HELL aren't all the tracks remixed? What fucking stupid worthless POS forgot to remix Metal Man? What about Quick Man? Flash Man? If these tracks were remixed, I didn't notice, which tells you something about the "remixes"!
2. The stages aren't small. They're microscopic. I know it's been a while since I played the original games, but I remember them being something remotely substantial. When you can blast through 4 or 5 stages in an hour, what's the point? I went through most of the stages and was like "That's IT??? You have GOT to be kidding me!" I can't believe I used to like these games. Man, how our heros come back to Earth.
3. Whoever put these stages together must have gotten their degree from Joe Bob's House of Level Design. They are filled with shitty gameplay. For example, in Crash Man's stage, when you're SLOOOOOWLY climbing up those damn ladders, and those freaking birds drop those eggs filled with little birds, and there's absolutely nothing you can do about it, because Mega Man is a pussy who can't shoot worth shit. So you can hit and fill back into the next screen, then you climb up again and the same shit happens, until you get lucky and they manage to drop the birds in a place you can shoot.
I also like how Mega Man slips off platforms like there's grease on his shoes, and how fucking enemies hit you from afar with shitty collision detection. Fun, please? Any fun here? Have you seen fun? Earth to fun, COME IN PLEASE!
I also like those crappy bosses like that shitty yellow cyclops in MM1. Skill? Nah, I don't think we'll be using any of THAT. Just memorize those fucking pieces as they go across the screen. Wake me when I've memorized this shit, it's frightening to think all games used to be like this.
4. I this worth $30? I think not. We've evolved past this shit. I bought this game out of a misplace memory of what these games were. I remembered them being good. Maybe they were in 1990. In 2004, they suck. And Atomic Shitty Planet screwed up on the music, the bonus features, and the fucking manual is black and white. In short, this sucks. I want the treasured memories of my youth back.