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"When your fat pic goes viral" - a story about internet bullying

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P

pj

Banned
Vex Krone said:
You thought they were two different people?




Wow. Why?
Click to expand...

Wow? You can't honestly think it's crazy that some people assume it's fake and the pictures are of two different people.

She looks a lot different and it would be a much easier to fake a before and after like that than to come across a real one and have actual pictures from almost a decade ago.
 
PSYGN

PSYGN

Member
That's not cool at all. I hope she turns the bullying into a positive impact to treat her body better as well but that's her choice and none of our business. Unfortunately, it'd probably be a win in the eyes of the bullies if she did get back into shape and be twisted up as a reason to shame other fat people.
 
Shai-Tan

Shai-Tan

Banned
My yearbook picture was once put online and when it was moused over there was a photoshopped dick in my mouth. It is hurtful especially when you dont know who did it but I also think we should try to put it in context of the actual social dynamics that make people want to defame or lower other people rather than making it into some abstract problem. I think the way some of the writing on internet bullying is conceived is lacking context that make it easier to shrug off knowing more about the weak and insecure people who engage in that behavior, and understanding what could contribute to solutions (social or technical).

It's at the very least useful to know that this is an aspect of adolescent psychology that most people grow out of (it might seem less effective tactically if in school education on bullying demystified some aspects of status seeking and striving for acceptance), that twitter and other echo chambers amplify tribal behaviour that demonizes out groups and leads to point scoring, bullying behavior and a race to the bottom (which should be approached on the social side of the equation with education or policy about civility including the value of charity in interpretation and the importance of engagement with reasonable dissenting voices; taking seriously research on insularity and polarization and finding technical solutions that facilitate better dialogue which may or may not be possible with the current open platforms)
 
TwiztidElf

TwiztidElf

Gold Member
I couldn’t get in touch with the anger my friends and family felt. A year ago, I might have popped on Reddit to defend myself to the people who shamed me, but it just seems so pointless now. What’s the argument? What am I supposed to be defending?
Click to expand...
As an ex fat person I'm not comfortable with fat normalization. It's not healthy. But her indifference to her haters completely trumps it. Good on her.
 
I

Infinite

Member
thelastcrusader said:
Never defended that post simply said your post was more useless. Also it's called looking at the bright side. I never mentioned attractive, I mentioned health. Stop putting words in my mouth you troll.
Click to expand...
Truly fascinating. Carry on.

On topic: I like the way she handled this but if she also "they can eat a dick" or something to that effect could you guys really say that she isn't taking it well? Don't get me wrong she handled it with class and kept herself above it all and I admire that but if she went with that it would be hard to hold it against her.
 
bengraven

bengraven

Member
tvKuypY.png


Wl9v0bZ.png


20 years. FUCK.
 
A

Ahasverus

Member
If she's happy, who cares about how she looks now (besides the obvious health concerns that only matter to her anyway).
 
C

crowphoenix

Banned
thelastcrusader said:
Less pointless than yours.
Ultimately whatever makes her and her husband happy is what matters but clearly it served as a wake up call of some kind to her since she says she's lost 30lbs since. Sometimes it's painful if someone reminds me I'm gaining weight but I end up eating healthier and exercising as a consequence so it works out, obviously becoming a meme is an extreme though.
Click to expand...

You misread. She lost 30 pounds since the photo; not since this event.

The event is mean spirited bullying. It serves no function. And being fat is not something that needs to be treated the way the Internet currently is. It's not a problem that has to be fixed, and it sure is fuck is not an ends justifies the means one.
 
A

Ahasverus

Member
crowphoenix said:
It's not a problem that has to be fixed
Click to expand...
Disagreed. Fatness shouldn't be accepted nor encouraged, it's a disgrace from a health, financial and demographic point of view. However the treatment could be cruel from other people which should be corrected through education.
 
N

Neuromancer

Member
thelastcrusader said:
Never defended that post simply said your post was more useless. Also it's called looking at the bright side. I never mentioned attractive, I mentioned health. Stop putting words in my mouth you troll.
Click to expand...
"I was publicly shamed by thousands of anonymous people online, but at least they told me what I already knew - that at one point in my life I was overweight."

You're a terrible person.
 
C

crowphoenix

Banned
Ahasverus said:
Disagreed. Fatness shouldn't be accepted nor encouraged, it's a disgrace from a health, financial and demographic point of view. However the treatment could be cruel from other people which should be corrected through education.
Click to expand...
And to what degree do you go to fix it? Is a person not entitled to their own life and choices? And what if the weight of from genetics and disease? Should that person face judgement because their life is not perfect from the from the nebulous standards of finance and demographic?
 
A

Ahasverus

Member
crowphoenix said:
And to what degree do you go to fix it? Is a person not entitled to their own life and choices? And what if the weight of from genetics and disease? Should that person face judgement because their life is not perfect from the from the nebulous standards of finance and demographic?
Click to expand...
That's the thing. Judgement is a bad thing, the person is not at judgement, but the disease-
 
L

Liquid-San

Member
Some people can be so petty and to go through your old yearbook and actually find someone's old photo is borderline obsessive. Whoever put it up is an idiot, and the joke itself is neither funny nor clever, but good for her and the way she handled it. I'm sure she doesn't need anyone validating her lifestyle choices, but I find her to be beautiful in both photos.

Seriously, the internet gives rise to some of the biggest bottom-feeders, just waiting to pounce on any scrap they can get their hands on.
 
F

Fuchsdh

Member
crowphoenix said:
And to what degree do you go to fix it? Is a person not entitled to their own life and choices? And what if the weight of from genetics and disease? Should that person face judgement because their life is not perfect from the from the nebulous standards of finance and demographic?
Click to expand...
Well those are the questions we grapple with. Especially with modern welfare states you can make an argument that we're now all paying for everyone else's bad habits and it's a question of how far you take it--can you legislate against smoking? Against fatness? Against excessive red meat consumption? At what point do your own choices negatively affect others around you to the point that the government or society can or should step in?

This is sort of far afield from the theme of the article though, although beyond "hey being a bully isn't good, even/especially to make some dumb SJW/Tumblr joke" I'm not sure what to add. Her mindsets certainly seems healthier than the people who stew on it, because that way lies madness.
 
K

KorrZ

Member
It's really easy to not think about the person on the receiving end of your comment when they're just a picture that you have no association with.
 
C

crowphoenix

Banned
Ahasverus said:
That's the thing. Judgement is a bad thing, the person is not at judgement, but the disease-
Click to expand...
Should we judge a cancer patient for the same thing?

No. The only reason we as a society cite health and financial as reasons fat shamming is acceptable is because it sounds better than the truth; that we don't think we should have to look at them if we don't have to.

The notion that everyone must be perfect and have no vices or problems is unattainable, and so judging it serves no purpose beyond smug, self-satisfaction or self-loathing.
 
M

Megalosaro

Banned
My biggest regret in life was losing my weight. Now I live terrified of gaining it all back and having to deal with judgemental assholes assume it's because I don't have any self control, when it is so easy to gain weight.

I gained 6 lbs from Christmas and that was just wanting the following;

2 eggs
2 strips of bacon
2 slices of ham
1 goose leg
1 goose filet.
Slice of pie.
1 qt cup of stuffing
4 cookies.

Ever since I lost weight I retain water super easily and it doesn't go away unless I actively eat at deficit. On my birthday weekend, I literally regained 18 lbs on a 3 day period and was horrified and that was just wanting something like 3500 calories. Definitely more than usual but not enough for that sort of gain.

And that isn nt me under reporting. I track my calories religiously.

So to all those people for ng this woman shit, fuck off
 
G

Gotdatmoney

Member
You take 100 random people that went to university and compare their weight after 7 years you will find that she is hardly unique on that front. That's why I find this even more pathetic. She gained weight, as people do when they go to post secondary and beyond. Linking that to feminism to be a douche is so gross.
 
F

Fourth Storm

Member
...Scatter... said:
Unfortunate. She was subjectively more attractive back then in my eyes, but that doesn't mean that its nice to shame someone about their weight gain. And to insinuate feminist views are the cause is just stupid on many levels.
Click to expand...

Good thing she's got a husband who loves her. Our opinions on her looks are irrelevant. She's also barely 16 in that first photo, mind you. Now, if you were to comment that it's unfortunate that she could be putting herself at risk for numerous health issues, I'd be inclined to agree, but that's not really any of our business either.
 
N

NoblesseOblige

Banned
To those thinking the photo showed 2 different people. Did you come to that conclusion before actually reading anything, and before noticing the '2009' and '2014? Please tell me the answer is yes because otherwise you're not very astute.
 
C

crowphoenix

Banned
Megalosaro said:
My biggest regret in life was losing my weight. Now I live terrified of gaining it all back and having to deal with judgemental assholes assume it's because I don't have any self control, when it is so easy to gain weight.

I gained 6 lbs from Christmas and that was just wanting the following;

2 eggs
2 strips of bacon
2 slices of ham
1 goose leg
1 goose filet.
Slice of pie.
1 qt cup of stuffing
4 cookies.

Ever since I lost weight I retain water super easily and it doesn't go away unless I actively eat at deficit. On my birthday weekend, I literally regained 18 lbs on a 3 day period and was horrified and that was just wanting something like 3500 calories. Definitely more than usual but not enough for that sort of gain.

And that isn nt me under reporting. I track my calories religiously.

So to all those people for ng this woman shit, fuck off
Click to expand...
Same here. I don't even want to look at the scale. Weight gain and the fear of it is all encompassing at times.
 
G

Gotdatmoney

Member
NoblesseOblige said:
To those thinking the photo showed 2 different people. Did you come to that conclusion before actually reading anything, and before noticing the '2009' and '2014? Please tell me the answer is yes because otherwise you're not very astute.
Click to expand...

That hardly matters. You look at a picture of me now vs 7 years ago I look identical accounting for age. A lot of people do. She looks very different, it is irrelevant to the story either way. Who gives a fuck how she looks. She could have grown a tail and it would be irrelevant.
 
entremet

entremet

Member
Megalosaro said:
My biggest regret in life was losing my weight. Now I live terrified of gaining it all back and having to deal with judgemental assholes assume it's because I don't have any self control, when it is so easy to gain weight.

I gained 6 lbs from Christmas and that was just wanting the following;

2 eggs
2 strips of bacon
2 slices of ham
1 goose leg
1 goose filet.
Slice of pie.
1 qt cup of stuffing
4 cookies.

Ever since I lost weight I retain water super easily and it doesn't go away unless I actively eat at deficit. On my birthday weekend, I literally regained 18 lbs on a 3 day period and was horrified and that was just wanting something like 3500 calories. Definitely more than usual but not enough for that sort of gain.

And that isn nt me under reporting. I track my calories religiously.

So to all those people for ng this woman shit, fuck off
Click to expand...

Most of that is probably just water weight. Come back in a few weeks and you'll probably be down to your normal weight.
 
A

ant_

not characteristic of ants at all
Megalosaro said:
My biggest regret in life was losing my weight. Now I live terrified of gaining it all back and having to deal with judgemental assholes assume it's because I don't have any self control, when it is so easy to gain weight.

I gained 6 lbs from Christmas and that was just wanting the following;

2 eggs
2 strips of bacon
2 slices of ham
1 goose leg
1 goose filet.
Slice of pie.
1 qt cup of stuffing
4 cookies.

Ever since I lost weight I retain water super easily and it doesn't go away unless I actively eat at deficit. On my birthday weekend, I literally regained 18 lbs on a 3 day period and was horrified and that was just wanting something like 3500 calories. Definitely more than usual but not enough for that sort of gain.

And that isn nt me under reporting. I track my calories religiously.

So to all those people for ng this woman shit, fuck off
Click to expand...

There is absolutely no way you gained 6 pounds. The fact of the matter is that gaining weight is just as hard as losing weight.

The body's weight will change dramatically upon differential food intake (i.e. consuming more than usual during the holidays) but the vast majority of this weight is water weight. Your weight will normalize over the course of a few weeks.

Large amounts of weight gain does not occur overnight. It occurs through poor eating habits and/or lack of exercise.

I lost 80 pounds 5 years ago, and struggled with this for a while. And of course, the statements above were made assuming no thyroid issues or other health issues that can effect weight gain/loss.
 
O

OldRoutes

Member
Megalosaro said:
My biggest regret in life was losing my weight. Now I live terrified of gaining it all back and having to deal with judgemental assholes assume it's because I don't have any self control, when it is so easy to gain weight.

I gained 6 lbs from Christmas and that was just wanting the following;

2 eggs
2 strips of bacon
2 slices of ham
1 goose leg
1 goose filet.
Slice of pie.
1 qt cup of stuffing
4 cookies.

Ever since I lost weight I retain water super easily and it doesn't go away unless I actively eat at deficit. On my birthday weekend, I literally regained 18 lbs on a 3 day period and was horrified and that was just wanting something like 3500 calories. Definitely more than usual but not enough for that sort of gain.

And that isn nt me under reporting. I track my calories religiously.

So to all those people for ng this woman shit, fuck off
Click to expand...

Maybe you shouldn't be looking at a scale in such a state, then... Just look out for bad habits like sugar treats and alcohol and keep moving around.

Losing your weight is a success that you're turning into a negative, right now. Be proud of yourself! :)
 
I

Ivan A Nguyen

Member
...Scatter... said:
Unfortunate. She was subjectively more attractive back then in my eyes, but that doesn't mean that its nice to shame someone about their weight gain. And to insinuate feminist views are the cause is just stupid on many levels.
Click to expand...

She's also 16 in that picture. She says the picture was taken back in '07. People can lament wasted potential, but potential for what? Is it a woman's job to remain attractive for the world?
 
S

SenorPopOff

Banned
Not surprising this happened, i mean it the gist of what took place with her happens over and over through facebook. Thats a huge appeal of social media, looking at what others are doing and then discussing it, just this time the person was a jackass and posted their feelings online. Whenever i run into someone from my past that isnt on facebook when i tell someone one of the first things they want to know is how they look. And something as jarring as 75lbs of weight gain is definitely going to get discussed.

Obviously her husband doesnt care about her weight and any friends she had since high school know she gained weight. So if i was her I wouldnt care at all, this story is bringing more attention to her weight gain than the initial reddit post did.
 
Y

Yukiari

Member
Megalosaro said:
My biggest regret in life was losing my weight. Now I live terrified of gaining it all back and having to deal with judgemental assholes assume it's because I don't have any self control, when it is so easy to gain weight.

I gained 6 lbs from Christmas and that was just wanting the following;

2 eggs
2 strips of bacon
2 slices of ham
1 goose leg
1 goose filet.
Slice of pie.
1 qt cup of stuffing
4 cookies.

Ever since I lost weight I retain water super easily and it doesn't go away unless I actively eat at deficit. On my birthday weekend, I literally regained 18 lbs on a 3 day period and was horrified and that was just wanting something like 3500 calories. Definitely more than usual but not enough for that sort of gain.

And that isn nt me under reporting. I track my calories religiously.

So to all those people for ng this woman shit, fuck off
Click to expand...

Wow, I thought I was alone that this was happening to me. Thank you for sharing this. I retain water and gain a significant amount of pounds in a very small period of time then I lose it again eating at a deficit and letting the water go but it takes a while. I'm so terrified of gaining the weight back that every time the scale shoots up I have to tell myself not to panic.
 
M

Megalosaro

Banned
From what I've read, there is a science as to why people who have lost weight gain it back so quick.

It is because even if you have lost like 100 lb, you still have all the fat cells you had, they are just shrink. Your body interprets that was a problem and redirects water to those cells trying to heal them.

Those cells apparently never die. And it will be like this until your body is back at what it was our higher. So before anyone says I'm wrong. No, your are. I know my body better than you know my body
 
A

ant_

not characteristic of ants at all
Megalosaro said:
From what I've read, there is a science as to why people who have lost weight gain it back so quick.

It is because even if you have lost like 100 lb, you still have all the fat cells you had, they are just shrink. Your body interprets that was a problem and redirects water to those cells trying to heal them.

Those cells apparently never die. And it will be like this until your body is back at what it was our higher. So before anyone says I'm wrong. No, your are. I know my body better than you know my body
Click to expand...

Yes, it's water weight. You lose it as fast as you gain it. It changes based off eating habits. Adding actual fat takes much longer than the span of 1 week.
 
B

Bel Marduk

Banned
Ahasverus said:
Disagreed. Fatness shouldn't be accepted nor encouraged, it's a disgrace from a health, financial and demographic point of view. However the treatment could be cruel from other people which should be corrected through education.
Click to expand...

Obesity is also very, very negative from an environmental standpoint. It shouldn't be normalized but neither should bullying be. Attractiveness is subjective but obesity is objectively negative for so many reasons.
 
M

Megalosaro

Banned
ant_ said:
Yes, it's water weight. You lose it as fast as you gain it. It changes based off eating habits. Adding actual fat takes much longer than the span of 1 week.
Click to expand...

No shit, but walking around with 20 + lbs of water weight isn't fun. And that shit doesn't go away quick.

The vigilance I have to live with is something no one should have to.

I'd pretty much say fuck it, but the thought of dew asking with all those patronizing looks and thoughts of me not having self control make me sick.

It's hard to go back to bring thought of as subhuman
 
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