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Ancient Britain

jason10mm

Gold Member
Pfftt.... You think Stone Henge is old, it's merely a toddler to this thing built circa 3200BC 2hrs down the road from me


Absolutely nuts to think this thing was ancient before they built the pyramids, granted the ancient Egyptians really fucking 1 upped us
You guys call this an address?

Donore
Drogheda
Co. Meath
A92 EH5C

Looks like your cat ran across the keyboard!
 
As someone living in Wales, who is a bit more related to those original Britons, I can't help but laugh at those who try to glamourise the pre Roman period. How dare those Romans come over here and give us central heating and Christianity. If you have ever seen the Wicker Man, that's what it was like. They have Disneyfied it with the prancing around Stone Henge but trust me you wouldn't want to be a 12 year old virgin anywhere near a stone circle 2000 years ago. It was like Apocalypto.
 

Wildebeest

Member
As someone living in Wales, who is a bit more related to those original Britons, I can't help but laugh at those who try to glamourise the pre Roman period. How dare those Romans come over here and give us central heating and Christianity. If you have ever seen the Wicker Man, that's what it was like. They have Disneyfied it with the prancing around Stone Henge but trust me you wouldn't want to be a 12 year old virgin anywhere near a stone circle 2000 years ago. It was like Apocalypto.
The Roman laws against human sacrifice in cults were fairly recent at the time, and I think maybe in accounts they overstated how much of it was going on in other places in order to justify wars and build a myth of Roman superiority. The Romans were still watching people kill each other for sport. Ritual human sacrifice certainly happened, though, although there seems to be more evidence of it in Germanic countries. And Britons really were total cunts, robbing and killing each other all the time, selling each other into slavery for European wine.
 
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Days like these...

Have a Blessed Day
Swamps have been filled in now

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For the love of God is there no beach within driving distance? Shameful
 

Toots

Gold Member
Julius Caesar said brits are the most ignorant people he ever conquered, after he conquered Gaul.

What's crazy with those is that england never really changed. I mean they put on a bit of varnish, but just give hoodies to the three chaps down right and you have your average 2024 brainless roadman.
 

Apocryphon

Member
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Also.. I feel personally targeted by this thread. Bunch of Yank cunts and unwashed French dickheads! 😂 My people may have evolved from odd little hairy luddites that sit in swamps and we may not actually have evolved very much in the last 2000 years.. but at least we’re not nasty fucks that eat snails and at least we’re not so self absorbed that we think everything must revolve around us. Granted.. we did think everything revolved around us for a while, but that ended with the empire as you Americans will surely discover for yourselves in the next 50 years.

Also, fuck Caesar. He was a massive bellend and those boys did the world right by knifing the silly muppet up. Silly fat Roman prick.
 

NecrosaroIII

Ultimate DQ Fan
Man, I got really hyped up by that Julius Caesar quote in the OP so I decided to look into it. Sadly it's false.

It was incredible though
 

EviLore

Expansive Ellipses
Staff Member
Man, I got really hyped up by that Julius Caesar quote in the OP so I decided to look into it. Sadly it's false.

It was incredible though
Ah, yes, looks like the last swamp meme there contains fake quotations promoted by UPenn professor Mia Bay. I have edited out the final panel. Even though the Reddit memes are meant to be humor, no point in propagating that.
 
Speaking of ancient...

During the Bronze age there was two vast sources of tin vital to making the metal alloy possible. The mountains of Afghanistan and the hills of Cornwall and Devon. Cornish tin was found as far south as Minoan Crete, Mycenaean Greece and the Levant.
 

AJUMP23

Parody of actual AJUMP23
The Netflix film the Dig about Sutton hoo is great. And the story of the find is excellent.



full ship burials. All sorts of cool finds.
 

IDKFA

I am Become Bilbo Baggins
With the recent news about Stonehenge, we should have a topic on the fascinating Ancient Britain.

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"
The inland portions of Britain are inhabited by those who themselves say that according to tradition they are natives of the soil; the coast regions are peopled by those who crossed from Belgium for the purpose of making war. Almost all of these are called by the names of those states from which they are descended and from which they came hither. After they had waged war they remained there and began to cultivate the soil. The island has a large population, with many buildings constructed after the fashion of the Gauls, and abounds in flocks. For money they use either gold coins or bars of iron of a certain weight. Tin is found in the inland regions, iron on the seacoast; but the latter is not plentiful. They use imported bronze. All kinds of wood are found here, as in Gaul, except the beech and fir trees. They consider it contrary to divine law to eat the hare, the chicken, or the goose. They raise these, however, for their own amusement and pleasure. The climate is more temperate than in Gaul, since there are fewer periods of cold. . . .

By far the most civilized are those who dwell in Kent. Their entire country borders on the sea, and they do not differ much from the Gauls in customs. Very many who dwell farther inland do not sow grain but live on milk and flesh, clothing themselves in skins. All the Britons paint themselves with woad, which produces a dark blue color; and for this reason they are much more frightful in appearance in battle. They permit their hair to grow long, shaving all parts of the body except the head and the upper lip. Ten and twelve have wives common among them, especially brothers with brothers and parents with children; if any children are born they are considered as belonging to those men to whom the maiden was first married. . . .

This is their manner of fighting from chariots. At first the charioteers ride in all directions, usually throwing the ranks into confusion by the very terror caused by the horses, as well as the noise of the wheels; then as soon as they have come between the squads of horsemen, they leap from the chariots and fight on foot. The drivers of the chariots then withdraw a little from the battle and place the chariots together, so that if the warriors are hard pressed by the number of the enemy, they have a safe retreat to their own. Their horsemen possess such activity and their foot soldiers such steadfastness in battle and they accomplish so much by daily training that on steep and even precipitous ground they are accustomed to check their excited horses, to control and turn them about quickly, to run out on the pole, to stand on the yoke, and then swiftly to return to the chariot.
"
-Julius Caesar, De Bello Gallico


A brief history of Caesar's invasion of Britain:





I was born, raised and live in Wiltshire, but have never been to Stonehenge. I didn't know why? I'm even a member of the English Heritage who run the site.

Reading your post has inspired me. It's time to visit Stonehenge this summer.
 

AJUMP23

Parody of actual AJUMP23
Visiting places like Stonehenge and Bath was a great experience.
Bath is Roman history....... Just like Hadrian's wall. Basically English history is how many people can sail over to this island and rule them. Danes, Lapland, Normans, Celts.

I love English history there is always something interesting going on.
 

Apocryphon

Member
Bath is Roman history....... Just like Hadrian's wall. Basically English history is how many people can sail over to this island and rule them. Danes, Lapland, Normans, Celts.

I love English history there is always something interesting going on.
David Mitchell’s Unruly is a great listen on Audible.
 

calistan

Member
Bath is Roman history....... Just like Hadrian's wall.
Only the actual Roman baths - I live in the city and there's a lot more recent history that the tourists come for, all the 18th century architecture and the people dressing up in Jane Austen gear.

The hot springs made it a popular destination before and after the Romans. Caesar can get stuffed, the rude old bugger.
 

niilokin

Member
Fascinating topic, I love history and mythology of British Isles but I have hard time grasping and remembering it. The Ancient Britons, the druids & Stonehenge, dolmens etc thats all celtic stuff right? Is the modern day England like mixture of Celtic, Roman, Saxon and Norman cultures? At what point in time did they come up with the King Arthur stuff?
 
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calistan

Member
At what point in time did they come up with the King Arthur stuff?
The stories we know as the King Arthur legends today were written and embellished by Thomas Malory in the late 15th century, while he was in prison, but they had been passed down in similar form for more than 500 years before that. The actual King Arthur who was the subject of the folk tales would have been post-Roman, maybe 500 AD-ish.
 

BadBurger

Many “Whelps”! Handle It!
What a coincidence: Amazon Prime Video just suggested a series of lectures from some professor / doctorate on medieval England and I've been watching it as I work for the past few days.

Anyways, it's wild how quickly the Roman presence there collapsed. Rome one day was like "fuck that cold island, everyone there and from that big island to its West wants to murder us, lets dip" and they basically dipped out.
 

cormack12

Gold Member
What a coincidence: Amazon Prime Video just suggested a series of lectures from some professor / doctorate on medieval England and I've been watching it as I work for the past few days.

Anyways, it's wild how quickly the Roman presence there collapsed. Rome one day was like "fuck that cold island, everyone there and from that big island to its West wants to murder us, lets dip" and they basically dipped out.
Any good? What's the show called?
 

Laptop1991

Member
I only feel connected to Caesar's invasion and Claudius, when Rome named us Britannica (England) and the whole region Britannia, the people before that seem different to me, and the Celts didn't call themselves the Celts, also the Vikings were hidden from our history in the past as well, the Danelaw was there for 300 years in England, they did not go back to Scandanavia and their influence on the British Isles was extensive, and King Harold's surname from 1066 was hardly mentioned when i was younger as it's a Dane name and not a Saxon one. Godwinson.
 
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Ongoing massive state visit between two ancient monarchies -the oldest in the case of Japan. Fantastic welcome for our fellow island Chads.
 

ÆMNE22A!C

NO PAIN TRANCE CONTINUE
How can one respond without a full academic study about England's history and It's not accepted history while cross referencing those and come to a "uhhh maybe this or maybe that" non-clusion?

Oh well just my two cents.
No disrespect meant at all.
 

jufonuk

not tag worthy
Fish 'n Chips mate! What's wrong with you? =P

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That’s most likely ‘spoons fish and chips.

I legit love fish and chips. You need to find the right one Pete’s fish factory in Kent is legit great.

Also don’t knock Gregg’s
 
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Nitty_Grimes

Made a crappy phPBB forum once ... once.
That’s most likely ‘spoons fish and chips.

I legit love fish and chips. You need to find the right one Pete’s fish factory in Kent is legit great.

Also don’t knock Gregg’s
Not sure about spoons there's too many chips on that plate.
 
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