Support NeoGAF

[Cth]

First half of the script was sort of fun.

Then you got the cheesy references. Every one you expect is there.

Spoiler

Alien pegs, mapping a grid when radar is down, etc.

And it's clear they want a franchise out of it, as it leaves the door open for it.

It's more ID4 than others. Nowhere near as fun as Transformers.

 

[Furret]

I was being sarcastic, I think there are plenty of other ways they could do this movie but honestly I think they'd be kinda boring. I mean, Battleship is a board game for kids to play. They don't want to go see something like USA VS Russia or Japan or whatever, being all realistic. Make it against aliens and you can bring in everyone.

I mean, the idea of them making a movie off Battleship of all things is asinine anyway, but at least they're being creative and from the feel I got from the trailer, self aware with it.

And, hey, the Clue movie is really, really great, so who knows. This whole thing feels like a joke, but a joke that the people making the movie are in on at least. Like, "Yes, we are actually making a movie based on Battleship, but CHECK THIS SHIT YO."

I wonder if they'll release a new version of the game with alien ships when the movie hits? Oh who am I kidding, of course they will. A Movie Edition and a Classic Edition are practically guaranteed.

EDIT: I hope they base the RISK movie off the post-apocalyptic RISK 2210 AD version of the game. Or maybe the'll just save that for the sequel.

I didn't see anything self aware or tongue-in-cheek in the trailer, it seemed to take itself entirely seriously.

You may have giggled at the grid and the peg missiles but you were laughing at the movie, not with it.

 

[Animator]

"which weapons do we fire, sir"

"all.of.them."

*groan

 

[toxicgonzo]

michaelscottsayingno.gif

 

[Busty]

So are Jon Hoeber and Erich Hoeber totally to blame then? Or were they doing the best they could with what they were given?

At the end of the day the writers were almost certainly working off a strict set of rules set by the studio and (urgh) Hasbro. Aliens were really the only option open to them. I say the only option because I assume these writers are largely free of any creative energy.

Right off the bat having these ships fight sea monsters is a million times more interesting to me than a set of the most generic looking aliens I've seen in years.

I believe I read a draft that was dated a month before they started shooting. It was after Peter Berg himself (among others) had taken a crack at it.

Personally I believe that once the director does a draft then he cannot point the fingers at anyone. But the studios can be hard task masters. Especially when you're spending nearly a QUARTER OF A BILLION DOLLARS ON A FILM BASED ON A FUCKING BOARD GAME.

First half of the script was sort of fun.

Is Taylor's character still called Hooper? Is he still adopted by a guy called Hooper thus making his character inexplicably named 'Hooper Hooper'?

 

[ultron87]

The fact that the alien ship shoots pegs might be enough to make me watch this. . . on Netflix streaming.

 

[WordAssassin]

I didn't see anything self aware or tongue-in-cheek in the trailer, it seemed to take itself entirely seriously.

You may have giggled at the grid and the peg missiles but you were laughing at the movie, not with it.

We'll have to agree to disagree then, as we're both getting different vibes from the trailer. To me it feels like everyone knows this is beyond stupid so they're going at it seriously, but it's not actually serious. Deadpan humor. "Yeah, this is fucking Battleship: THE MOVIE. Check this shit out, it has aliens, and they trap the fleet in a dome, and wipe out their radar so they have to map that shit out on a grid like the game, and the alien missiles are fucking PEGS MAN. FROM TEH GAME." doesn't scream laughing-AT to me, it seems very purposefully done and self-aware, laughing WITH. It's not like there's going to be people furiously mugging at the camera and winking, but if I had to make a movie based on fucking Battleship of all things, this is probably how I would do it. I'd play it straight, but so obviously over the top that people would be doing just this, "Wait, are they, is this serious?"

I mean, the people who have seen it or read the script say all the conventions are there from the board game, including "YOU SUNK MY BATTLESHIP!" soooo

At the end of the day the writers were almost certainly working off a strict set of rules set by the studio and (urgh) Hasbro. Aliens were really the only option open to them. I say the only option because I assume these writers are largely free of any creative energy.

Right off the bat having these ships fight sea monsters is a million times more interesting to me than a set of the most generic looking aliens I've seen in years.

Yeah that's more interesting but in the confines of making a movie off BattleSHIP that does not work. So either they make it aliens/robots or they make it realistic which is really stupid because it's based off a board game aimed at kids.

Is Taylor's character still called Hooper? Is he still adopted by a guy called Hooper thus making his character inexplicably named 'Hooper Hooper'?

Oooh my God ahahahahahahaha

 

[Rated-Rsuperstar]

Their really wasting $200 million on this? Can't we split that money and give it to Guillermo del Toro and Paul Verhoeven instead?

 

[Busty]

We'll have to agree to disagree then, as we're both getting different vibes from the trailer. To me it feels like everyone knows this is beyond stupid so they're going at it seriously, but it's not actually serious.

I mean, the people who have seen it or read the script say all the conventions are there from the board game, including "YOU SUNK MY BATTLESHIP!" soooo

Nope. The tone of this film is DEAD serious. Peter Berg gave an interview last year and basically said something along the lines of 'his Dad was in the US Navy and this film is a tribute to the US Navy and the people that serve in it'.

Peter Berg is a filmmaker I like but there is nothing remotely tongue in cheek about this project. At all. If you've seen The Kingdom then you know where Berg is coming from with this.

It's my understanding that there were certain elements that Hasbro demanded be included in the film. The 'you sank battleship' line was one of them. I wouldn't be surprised if the 'pegs' the aliens shoot (described as pegs in the script BTW) were another.

 

[freenudemacusers]

The fact that the alien ship shoots pegs might be enough to make me watch this. . . on Netflix streaming.

You probably won't need to wait long.

 

[MeBecomingI]

That looks ridiculous! I will totally see it though. There isn't much they can do story wise with Battleship that can ruin the.. boardgame. I'll be interested to see where they can take it and how much fun Peter Berg will have with this film; not in terms of just stupid shit of course, but just crazy special effects and action.

Besides, The Kingdom is one of my favourite movies, so I'll watch it just to support him.

 

[Incendiary]

I...what. What the hell did I just....what.

What.

I just...I don't even....what.

 

[Ridley327]

I was ready to write this off, but then the alien missiles showed up and they literally attach themselves to the ship and now I'm wondering if this won't be secretly brilliant.

My only hope is there's one scene where our heroes fire blindly into the water, hoping to hit something.

 

[WordAssassin]

Nope. The tone of this film is DEAD serious. Peter Berg gave an interview last year and basically said something along the lines of 'his Dad was in the US Navy and this film is a tribute to the US Navy and the people that serve in it'.

Peter Berg is a filmmaker I like but there is nothing remotely tongue in cheek about this project. At all. If you've seen The Kingdom then you know where Berg is coming from with this.

It's my understanding that there were certain elements that Hasbro demanded be included in the film. The 'you sank battleship' line was one of them. I wouldn't be surprised if the 'pegs' the aliens shoot (described as pegs in the script BTW) were another.

Oh, well then, shit. That.. that kind of makes me want to see it more? This is terrible.

 

[bluemax]

Heard about the casting process about this one. The studio hired the model with less acting experience over a more experienced and better actress because she has bigger boobs.

Hollywood. Fuck yeah.

Brooklyn Decker is smoking hot though.

 

[wetwired]

Fuck me that was bad, not only did the alien ships look like transformers they sounded like them too

 

[Casp0r]

I could understand the return of 'battleships' to accommodate new rail gun technology.

However the trailer showed traditional ship artillery.


... hmmmm

 

[Dan]

Maybe the only reason this film is called BATTLESHIP is because it was the only way he could get the greenlight? Berg probably managed to convince the studio on the name recognition of alone, then sneak in the alien/naval warfare film he'd already been thinking of making.

The license came first. The script and director all came afterwards. Same goes for all the shitty board game movies in the works, most of them by Universal.

 

[bill gonorrhea]

Ya'll are haters. That looked bad ass.

 

[ReturnOfTheRAT]

I laughed out loud.

This movie is transformers in a sphere.

A-Team was awesome.

It features the most ingenious use of

Spoiler

3D

ever.

 

[diehard]

"which weapons do we fire, sir"

"all.of.them."

*groan

FIRE EVERYTHING!!!

 

[overcast]

Holy shit lol.

 

[Particle Physicist]

sir which weapons?
ALL of them.


so horrible.

Stolen from the Star Trek movie. :/

 

[LQX]

Some of you were expecting too much it seems. Looks ok to me.

 

[Forever]

"Which internets do we hack?"
"All of them."

Hollywood is really scraping the bottom of the barrel now. Board games with no story. Fairy tales the length of a page. Soon we'll have Red Riding Hood playing Monopoly in 3D. Ugh.

 

[TOM f'N CRUISE]

.................... wtf

 

[Phoenix]

That is the worst thing I have ever seen in my life. It will make Spiderman 3 and XMen 3 look like Oscar winners.

 

[Rokam]

Was talking to my dad about this and he said "What's next Space Invaders?" Poor guy, I didn't have the heart to tell him.

 

[dabig2]

Time will definitely be revising their list after this comes out.

 

[AlberichMX]

Battleship... the board game?? really?? Come on! WTH!

 

[Escape Goat]

Was talking to my dad about this and he said "What's next Space Invaders?" Poor guy, I didn't have the heart to tell him.

Actually...

 

[Manos: The Hans of Fate]

Battleship... the board game?? really?? Come on! WTH!

Beats anything written by Diablo Cody with a stick.

 

[HomerSimpson-Man]

Years ago I questioned what's the point of licensing the IP for a battleship from a board game when naval warfare has already existed.

Now they managed to somehow make even less sense of the project with aliens.

Bravo, good sirs, bravo.

 

[ROFL]

A couple of years back an adaptation pitch for the old British comic Dan Dare was doing the rounds in Hollywood, as a vehicle for Sam Worthington. In the package being sent to potential writers it included images from the 2007 Garth Ennis attempt to revamp the old property, specifically a navy fleet attempting to battle an armada of invading aliens:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/0981520022/

This is what immediately came to mind when I first heard about this bizarre take on Battleship.

 

[Expendable.]

rewatched the trailer in 1080p with some friends and it is so fucking bad, even the visuals can't save it. My only hope is that it is a better version of the Transformers sequels.

 

[Atrus]

I can`t wait for Liam Neeson to yell "You sunk my battleship!."

 

[cartoon_soldier]

200 million dollars budget? Really? Who the fuck thought that would be a good idea...

 

[Themacabre]

I...I...but..

wha?

 

[gdt]

Honestly, I can watch anyone from Friday Night Lights do anything, for hours. Tim Riggins looks great with the short hair.

Besides, this looks like a typical summer blockbuster, should be good for what it is.

 

[Timbuktu]

Didn't realize next year is so big for Tim Riggins with this and John Carter. I hope one of them succeed at least, probably the later.

 

[AgentChris]

200 million dollars budget? Really? Who the fuck thought that would be a good idea...

The dumbasses at Universal.

 

[Revenant]

Looks like they just raided the Battle LA teams assets for their generic alien look..


Never a better time for this.

Peter Berg is better than this.

 

[lazybones18]

Guys, just admit that you plan on seeing this, no matter how shitty it is. You know you gonna see this.

 

[harSon]

Uh, it doesn't look that bad. And while he's not exactly an auteur, Peter Berg typically makes some entertaining films. The Rundown, Friday Night Lights and The Kingdom. All entertaining films. His only misfire thus far IMO has been Hancock, and even that was alright, albeit really front loaded in terms of which parts of the film were good.

Although I do admit, they'd be better off dropping the Battleship name, and simply pretending that it's an original idea that didn't spawn from a board game.

 

[AgentChris]

Guys, just admit that you plan on seeing this, no matter how shitty it is. You know you gonna see this.

FX got the movies. I'll check it out on FX.

 

[Revenant]

Uh, it doesn't look that bad. And while he's not exactly an auteur, Peter Berg typically makes some entertaining films. The Rundown, Friday Night Lights and The Kingdom. All entertaining films. His only misfire thus far IMO has been Hancock, and even that was alright, albeit really front loaded in terms of which parts of the film were good.

Although I do admit, they'd be better off dropping the Battleship name, and simply pretending that it's an original idea that didn't spawn from a board game.

Fire The Weapons!
Which ones Sir?

ALL OF THEM!


this movie is gonna be lucky if it has one original moment in it.

 

[Busaiku]

Semi-related: Minesweeper trailer

This is what I was expecting.
Instead, I get that?

 

[Salazar]

lol at the

"You are the finest goddamn warrior in history, a genius, a real prospect, but you keep your hands off my daughter" trope.

 

[Manos: The Hans of Fate]

lol at the

"You are the finest goddamn warrior in history, a genius, a real prospect, but you keep your hands off my daughter" trope.

I kind of wish he had then "Because I will find you." lol

 

[Htown]

Got real stupid real quick at the end. The alien weapons puncturing the ship like in the board game, the zoom out to the grid, and the best part of the whole thing:

"Which weapons?"
"ALL OF THEM"

Holeeee crap.