Dating a woman who already has kids.

Tesseract said:
maybe?

i'm engaged xaero, you and i aren't meant to be
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Oh...

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There is no reason to avoid dating! You may try for the first time without kids. Just look at her, communicate and decide if you are ready for the next step) After that you may meet with her kids.
 
Depends...I wouldn't mind FWB but a full blown relationship...definitely not. I can deal with my coworkers children for a short period of time for example but that's it. i have no desire to ever have children myself and neither would i want to be a father figure for someone else's child
 
I advice you if you just want to have fun, you can do it and go ahead! but if you are looking for a serious and long term relationship, you should look for a single woman to dedicate all your time and efforts.
 
TBH, I don't see how I could even get close to someone who has a much bigger, much more time intensive priority in their lives. That interrupts the initial courtship dynamic.

Kids should come after forming a deeper relationship because they complicate things. Women without kids are looking for someone they like being around to have kids with. Women with kids are looking for someone to take care of them. You lose that mutual carefree attraction and interest and fun for things getting real immediately.
 
If shes the women you love go for it

If their kids sees you as a good person, a loving and caring father they will slowly acepted you

Real family are not made by blood it goes way deeper than that
 
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There are always exceptions to the rule. I can think of at least 3 or 4 single moms in my life who are very hot and are more successful than me by most measures. Once you reach a certain age the ones who haven't had kids or have been married are kind of the ones who are the true red flags IMO.
 
Well I dont have a choice. In my late 30s, divorced with kids, most women my age are in that situation as well. It'll be pretty hard I guess, kids hopefully wont want to tear other kids appart, time, how the other treats/act with her kids etc..

I think I might go with escorts...
 
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I can't offer much from the perspective of dating other women with kids as my experience in that has been limited. After my divorce, having 2 kids already, I wasn't interested in dating someone else with kids.

My children are my world and I felt that I wouldn't be able to show that same level of affection to someone else's kids. And I definitely didn't want mine to feel like they were "traded in" for a new family. I also had reservations about how a women with kids would treat hers vs. mine

I went on dates here and there with women who had kids, but I just never get that into them as I did with ones who didn't.

I've been dating my current girlfriend for almost a year and a half and she's been nothing short of amazing. We waited about 5 months before introducing them to her and now they look at her as a part of their family. Sometimes I think they like her more than me. 😂

On the flip side of this, their real mom uses them as window dressing and a good photo op. She's not really involved in their lives expect for when it generates "likes" or compliments. She's 100% absent on the weekends as she's out partying and dating around, probably to some of you bastards.

Now though, she's been dating a guy for a month, he's the one and they're getting married. All because he's 42, she's 33, and he has his shit together. He has two kids of his own and on the surface seems like a decent guy. She's introducing the kids to him and his tonight against some of my reservations. I think it's too soon and that she's moving too fast with this guy. I fear that he's going to pressure her into moving in with or closer to him. She's stupid enough to do it and that would force our kids to move schools which they definitely don't want to do.

So for guys with kids, how did you handle a new guy in their life?
 
Miku Miku said:
Definitely not always true. Some dont even want you to meet them for 6 months because they dont want to mess with them. A lot take care of their shit on their own, they just want to date.
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I'm just saying it would not work for me. I need a lot of time with someone to become comfortable with them, and I just want to enjoy being with them for as much time as possible. Children should always be a priority, so given how much time they take I would feel guilty about reallocating their time with their mother for myself and would probably also harbor negative feelings towards the mother for spending time with me instead of her kid.

I would also rather children be something to plan for and prepare for together than just be already there. It would be too stressful to marry someone with a preexisting $80,000-$100,000 obligation per child.
 
I was 19/20, and she was 30. She had 3 kids. She also had an addiction to smoking marijuana. I was WAY too young to be in this relationship, and it changed me in many ways, but I got to screw an older woman which was sort of nice. It forced me to grow up but she had 3 kids and that was tough. Plus her constant smoking made life even worse. If she didn't get her smoking on time, she would get super aggressive towards me...
Anyway, it was certainly a life changing experience, and I thank the lucky stars I never got her pregnant and ALWAYS wore a condom.
I don't regret my time with her, but I wouldn't do it again given I could go back to my 19 year old self.
 
MacReady13 said:
I was 19/20, and she was 30. She had 3 kids. She also had an addiction to smoking marijuana. I was WAY too young to be in this relationship, and it changed me in many ways, but I got to screw an older woman which was sort of nice. It forced me to grow up but she had 3 kids and that was tough. Plus her constant smoking made life even worse. If she didn't get her smoking on time, she would get super aggressive towards me...
Anyway, it was certainly a life changing experience, and I thank the lucky stars I never got her pregnant and ALWAYS wore a condom.
I don't regret my time with her, but I wouldn't do it again given I could go back to my 19 year old self.
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Can people be addicted to pot?
 
SLoWMoTIoN said:
Can people be addicted to pot?
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Not too sure, but she would get really angry at me when she didn't have a smoke and calm down a tonne after a hit on the bong. She quit when she was with me though, and a day after quitting her hands were shaking and she was craving it. I guess like smoking cigarette's is addictive, I don't see why marijuana wouldn't be the same... But what do I know? I don't smoke!
 
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