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WCW Mayhem 11/26/200
EARLIER TODAY. Booker T arrived and signed some autographs. Scott Steiner arrived to no fan fair and Finlay made him sign in. He busted up the laptops because he don't sign for nobody.
MOMENTS AGO. Nature Boss Ric Flair addressed the live audience promising the best show possible. I have a feeling he will regret saying that.
Kwee Wee vs Mike Sanders WCW Cruiserweight Championship
"Why would a YAK wear a thong and shorts at the same time?" I don't know, Stevie. Mike bitch slaps Angry Allan. Mike bails and all of the Thrillers come out. Mark Jindrak does a flying clothesline that would be impossible for the ref to miss, but he did. Super hip toss into a power slam. Slick may be the NBT ref now that the NWO is gone. Meng and Paisley come out and fight the Thrillers. Paisley is now wearing a giant afro wig.
Ric Flair brings security out to get all the riff raff from ringside. There is a match going on, apparently. Meng having two guys in a Tongan Death grip for 5 minutes was all I saw. Ric ejects everyone besides Paisley. Sanders reverses a sunset flip into a frankensteiner. "It's not called an afro; it's a natural!" Sanders hits the 3.0 and retains.
TO THE BACK. Gene is with CEO Flair. Unless they are in a match, wrestlers are not allowed at ringside. Boogie Knights talk with Kronik. Disco makes a deal for Alex to team with Kronik against Rey and Kidman. Gene is with Evan and Jamie. They talk about high school football. Apparently, Evan fucked Jamie's sister. And cheated on her. This is the first time Jamie has spoken on television. Crowbar walks in with two Nitro Girls. He's going to fuck those YAKs later. For sure. He has flowers in his locker room.
2 Count vs Evan Karagias/Jamie Knoble vs Jung Dragons
Evan says he drives a Caddy with a stick shift. Stevie has to let everyone know that he's never seen a 67 Cadillac with a stick shift. Suckas gotsta know. Some dancing until 2 Count get back dropped the floor. Sweet German suplex/wheel kick combo from 2 Count on Jamie. Straight jacket German from Shane. Jumping tombstone from Jamie. Big dive sequence ending with some wacky spinny thing from Yang and a cross body from Leia.
Jaime gets a ladder. Shane jumps off the shoulders of Yang, who is on the top rope. There is a double pin, both guys miss the cue to kick out, and the ref just kind of stops. Fans booed. 2 Count win with the X-Plex.
TO THE BACK. Bam Bam had put Awesome through a table. Wall came by and ran Bam Bam off. Paula is with the Boogie Knights and Kronik. The BK could only afford 7:30 of Kronik's time. Gene is with Jimmy Hart. Jimmy is on crutches. Gene says the cast is as real as Gunn's tits. Almost. Jimmy also claimed that his first match with Mancow happens last year. It was in April of 2000. It is now November of 2000. The Thrillers freak out in Sanders' office. Reno's got this shit.
Mancow vs Jimmy Hart
I can't believe WCW is doing this match for a SECOND time. I mean, a shock jock against Jimmy Hart, who really hadn't been relevant in 10 years if I'm being generous. This is something that WCW felt the need to run TWICE on PPV. Jimmy tries to back out of the match. Mancow spits on him. Mancow says he's like George W. Bush and Jimmy is like Al Gore. This is the worst. Mancow is now 2-0 against Jimmy Hart.
TO THE BACK. EMTs are checking on Awesome. Crowbar is worried about his bro. MIA meeting. Flair needs a word with AWALL. Lance is talking to Bam Bam. Paula is with the Animals. Konnan isn't there tonight.
Big Vito vs Reno vs Crowbar WCW Hardcore Championship
This thing with Vito and Reno has been going on for months, somehow involves Vito's sister, and hasn't been explained in any way. Crowbar apparently pulled an ab during the hardcore match on Thunder. Italian Enema! What a terrible name for a move. Double flap jack through a trash can. Crowbar can't do much due to his injury. Stevie is for real better than anyone in WWE has been since JBL's original commentary run. He puts over dudes regardless if they are face or heel, shits on stuff that is stupid without shitting on the wrestler, has fun, says ridiculous shit regularly. He's awesome. It goes to the back. Vito goes through a table. Vito's sister, Marie, prevents Reno from hitting him with a chair. In the confusion, Crowbar hit Reno's chair with a chair of his own and retained his title.
TO THE BACK. Buff asks some homeless people for something.
DDP and Nash talk about stuff. DDP says "shit out of luck" and grins at the camera. Gene is with Cat. Gene hits on Ms. Jones, which gets Cat all fired up. Cat says he'll kiss Shane's feet and leave the country for 30 days if he loses tonight. "I could rock your world, sweetheart. A little dose of Vitamin Gene and you'll be up all night!"
Filthy Animals vs Alex Wright/Kronik
This originally was supposed to be the Boogie Knights vs Kidman/Rey/Konnan. Now it's Alex/Kronik vs Rey/Kidman. No one knows where Konnan is. Disco says something about WOW Magazine, which pisses Tony off and makes him ask if Disco has ever thought of putting WCW magazine over. Kronik will only wrestle for 7 minutes and 30 seconds. I expect Kronik to stop their pin because their time ran out and leave the match, leaving Alex to lose. Why, that's exactly what happened.
TO THE BACK. Thrillers meeting. Sanders is going to set it off. Gene is with Steiner. Steiner talks about his chromosomes being mixed and how he's best when he's mad.
Shane Douglas vs The Cat
Cat randomly chokes Mark Madden, which makes Tony and Stevie mark out. YAK FIGHT. Lol. Ms. Jones puts Torrie in a rear naked choke in the middle of a YAK FIGHT. Shane uses the chain, but Cat got his foot on the ropes. Cat wins with a kick with his red shoe on.
TO THE BACK. Jarrett finds his guitars have been destroyed. Paula is with MIA. They have a new shirt and this is the final battle in the war.
A hype video for GLACIER! BLOOD RUNS...COLDER. THE ICE AGE RETURNS TO WCW....AGAIN! Tony and Madden shit all over it.
Bam Bam Big Yellow vs Sgt. AWALL
Remember when they ran Wall vs Bam Bam back in the Spring? I do. At the time, Wall was trying to murder folks and Bam Bam was upset because he didn't teach Wall that kind of behavior. Now, Bam Bam is beating up people and Wall won't stand for it. It's like poetry. I don't give a fuck about this. Bam Bam hit Greetings from Asbury Park for the win. Bam Bam collapses after the match. The ref calls for help, but no one comes because the EMTs left with Mike Awesome. They FINALLY show up. This would be bad if Bam Bam had being dying or something. Bam Bam is dead or something.
TO THE BACK. Gene is with Buff. Buff cuts a dick promo about how if anyone knows about neck injuries, it's him, but lets get on to something more important, like making fun of Jeff Jarrett!
Back in the ring, EMTs are still checking on Bammer. Possible concussion, extreme dizziness.
Lance Storm vs General Rection Canadian Championship
They start this match with Bam Bam still out there. They couldn't even get him to the back before starting the entrances? Bam Bam gets up and attacks Hugh! IT WAS A SWERVE! Well, I didn't see it coming, at least. Hugh is back in his Hugh Morris gear. Lance has taped ribs and claimed to have four cracked ribs and a bulging disc. Lance works over the knee the whole match. Despite one leg and having almost no offense, Hugh wins with the moonsault. New champion! The war is over! Finally.
TO THE BACK. Sanders tells Doug Dillinger to send security home.
Jeff Jarrett vs Buff Bagwell
This was actually the first feud of the Russo era in 1999. Buff thought HE was the chosen one, but was forced to job to La Parka. So he did a really sarcastic job (not HBK levels, but much grumpier), asked if he "did his job right" directly into the camera, and then Jeff debuted and laid him out with a guitar. I don't give a fuck about this. I do think it is funny how they pushed Jeff so hard for the first half of the year and then bussed him down to US Championship level, and now he's down to feuding with Buff. Buff crashes and burns on a missed Blockbuster. Could have hurt his shoulder bad on that. Buff hits a tornado DDT after that. No way, a ref bump in a Jarrett match? Jeff gets a chair, but David Flair comes out and DDTs him on it. Don't tell me we're about to get a Jeff Jarrett vs David Flair feud. Jeff had a guitar hidden under the ring and gets the win. So they spent time to build up that Jeff wouldn't have his guitar tonight, only to have the finish be the standard Jeff hits a guy with a guitar finish. Makes sense.
Perfect Event vs The Insiders WCW Tag Team Championships
Sanders is out for color. The NBT are now security. Chuck has the best punches. Some of the best of all time. Nash and DDP fight off "security" when Ric Flair and the real security comes out to remove them. Sanders shows Ric his managerial card, I believe. He's allowed to stay at ringside. DDP has ridiculously large elbow pads. We get to see some of Meat's meaty ass. He does squats for sure.
DDP is the FIP for this and it is dangerously boring. He's been off for 4 months and you can ell. Nash is FIIIIIIIRRRRRRRREEEEEEDDDDDD UUUUUPPPPPPPP, though. Kanyon Cutter! Jackknife! Sanders pulls the ref out. Kanyon Cutter on the floor! Nash and DDP win. New champs! For real, Kanyon did the Diamond Cutter better, at least at this period of time.
TO THE BACK. Paula talks to Lex. Lex says he is the Michael Jordan of WCW. You gotta be shitting me.
Goldberg vs Lex Luger
Goldberg will be fired if he loses a match before he surpasses his previous streak of 176 matches in a row. Stevie says it will take Goldberg 2-3 years to reach that, even though he's at like 24 wins in a month. It should take him about 7 1/2 months, depending on how many handicap matches or double duty nights he has. Crowd just completely dies as soon as Lex goes on offense. Lex pulls Mickie Jay in between he and the spear. Double spear. Jackhammer! A ref immediately hits the ring and makes the count. So, why was there a ref bump at all if it didn't have anything to do with the finish? This was like, 4 minutes. Barely longer than the handicap match that was the main event of Halloween Havoc. I feel like Goldberg was really past the point of having 2-3 minute squash matches again and seeing him completely revert back to a one dimensional squash monster was really uninteresting.
Scott Steiner vs Booker T WCW Championship Caged Heat Straight Jacket Match
Steiner attacks Booker right as he enters the cage. There is a lot of time left for a WCW match. Midajah is inside the cage. Doesn't that kind of negate the point of a giant cage match? I think the straight jacket is actually on top of the cage. It's also not necessary to use in the match at all. This is the most worthless cage match. It's just a regular match. Outside of the very start, it's been entirely in the ring and just a normal match. The straight jacket was hanging from the roof. Scott got it down, but ate an Electric Chair for his efforts. Steiner is out enough for Booker to try to put the straight jacket on him for 2 minutes, so Booker doesn't even bother to make a god damn pin during any of this. Stevie yells over and over to fucking pin the guy. Booker finally gets the straight jacket on, but doesn't tie the arms back or anything. Then he goes Royal Rumble 99 and hits some gross chair shots. Scott rips the sleeves off the straight jacket. It would have been way more impressive if it had been put on properly. Book gets out of the Recliner in the same way Goldberg did at Fall Brawl, but not nearly as awesomely.
Book End, but Booker couldn't make the pin right away. Steiner hits a wicked chair shot and a really awkward Bubba Bomb type move before locking on the Recliner. New champion! It's amazing that WCW took until November of 2000 to put the title on Scott Steiner. He was easily over enough and legit enough in early 1999. Mid 1998 if Goldberg wasn't around. They really pushed Jeff Jarrett in that spot for 6 months over Scott Steiner. Scott beat up Booker and the refs with a chair to end the show.
This show was so BORING. Completely unengaged. The only noteworthy things to come from the show were Steiner winning the title and the return of Glacier.