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WCW Monday Nitro 1/8/2000
Go home for Sin. I mean, I guess there still is Thunder, but it doesn't count. Disco Inferno is replacing Mark Madden. Madden was fired shortly before this. Mostly for being an asshole, but not for being a terrible announcer. Why wouldn't Stevie Ray just fill that spot?
CEO Flair comes to the ring. They're in St. Paul, so it is kind of like a homecoming for Ric. He claims Sin is the biggest PPV of the year. That's one way to lower expectations for the rest of the year. Flair is sick of Mike Sanders and doesn't even know how he got the commissioner job. Way to watch the shows, Ric. Sanders will put his commissionership on the line against Cat at Sin. Ric doesn't know what to do about the title match after Thunder. This brings Double J out. Sid didn't beat him, so he still gets his title shot. Ric says there just might not be a three way dance at Sin at all. Scott Steiner comes out. Now it will be a 4 way dance! Jarrett vs Steiner vs Sid vs Mystery Man! Flair shows footage of Jeff lying to Scott last week. He then books Jeff vs Steiner for the title tonight!
TO THE BACK. Goldberg and Sarge arrive. Goldberg throws a table and wants to know where Kronik is. Sanders complains to the Harris Brothers about Cat. He books Ron against Cat tonight. Ron is growing his hair out. Shane confronts Flair and security in the back. Shane thinks he should be in the main event at Sid. He's already booked. Sid vs Shane Douglas tonight!
Shannon Moore vs Chavo Guerrero Jr
Shane on color. Chavo decides to make this a title match. If Shannon wins, Chavo will get the rematch at Sin. So Shane has to make sure Chavo wins again. This is a pretty good, competitive cruiser match that hasn't been seen on WCW since the Spring of 1999. Well, until Shannon botches a springboard rana. He slipped off the ropes. Chavo won with a great brainbustahh. Probably the best TV cruiserweight match for real since whenever Blitzkrieg was around. Shane dumped Chavo out of the ring after the match.
TO THE BACK. Kwee Wee and Paisley are watching a monitor when Mike Sanders punches him. Vito runs Sanders off. Hidden camera catches Ric talking with Totally Buff.
The Cat vs Ron Harris
Ron has shaved his head in the past 10 minutes. "Look at how well shaved Big Ron is." Lol. They're back to dressing in suits. Cat tries to talk his way out of this match, but then says they look like two baby Frankensteins. I think Disco called Cat a shit head. Cat and a Harris brother? Gross. Ron wins after twin magic and an H-Bomb.
TO THE BACK. Gene is with Cat. He dances to prove you can't stop him.
Hugh talks with Sid. Hugh wants a little piece of Shane left for Sin. You could hear the director counting down.
Jeff and Scott argue. Gene is with the Thrillers. Sanders has booked a Minnesota Massacre. Vito/Kwee Wee vs randomly selected opponents. Anyone interfering will be fined or suspended. Totally Buff talk with Kronik. They got Kronik booked against Goldberg and Sarge.
Lance Storm vs Kidman
Lance is branching out into black and red tights. A Canadian Penalty Box match is set between these teams at Sin. Hopefully this gets some time. Fucking Konnan and Disco on color? Finlay Roll! Lance catches a dropkick while trying a springboard move. BK Bomb only gets 2. Super kick also gets 2. A chair is wedged in the corner. Lance goes head first. Kidman had the win, but Awesome pulled Kidman out. Both teams brawl. All of this was right in front of the ref who did nothing about it. Kid Krusher for the win.
Shane Douglas vs Sid
Sid has dropped the tights and is now wearing jeans. Sid controls the brawl on the floor, but Shane takes over once it gets in the ring. Shane blocked a chokeslam, Sid blocked a belly to belly. Sid wins with the powerbomb. Steiner and Jarrett attack Sid as he's walking to the back.
TO THE BACK. Gene is with Flair. He says he'll suspend Jeff and Scott if they take it easy on each other tonight. He makes Jim Duggan the special ref for the Penalty Box Match. God, I hope Duggan SWERVES everyone again.
Terry Funk comes to the ring. He says he's the king over and over and says Ric Flair is trying to destroy him by booking him against nobodies. He wants Goldberg. And Steiner. And DDP. He says something racial against Meng that gets muted. Crowbar comes out to stop this shit. He idolized Funk. "You should idolize me." He started ECW and is the extreme wrestling in the US. This whole time, Daffney is dancing with sparklers.
Crowbar cuts a good promo about becoming the leader of the new hardcore revolution. Crowbar is quickly becoming one of my favorite guys. I don't know why they didn't let him cut promos like this for the past year. Funk bails from the ring. Meng hits him with a chair. Daffney hits Meng with a wooden chair which didn't break. He kicked her in the face. Meng does the Death Grip through a wooden chair on Crowbar.
JIMMY HART FUCKSHIT. This stuff was all Jimmy's idea. He'd go on a morning zoo show and challenge them to a fight. Then the zoo guys would talk about Jimmy Hart and the match non stop for a few weeks for a local house show. All Jimmy's idea to boost some house show sales. Good for him, I guess, but WCW didn't even really run many house shows to begin with and these segments are fucking annoying on TV.
TO THE BACK. We see a shot of Flair's door. Then a shot of Sanders' office where something was exchanged in his jacket pocket.
Kronik vs Goldberg/Sarge
Disco is pissed that Kronik are wrestling for free. Kronik work over the broken arm of Sarge. Sarge plants Crush with a DDT. Goldberg falls doing a super kick. Spear on Crush. Totally Buff attack Sarge on the floor. Goldberg doesn't see any of this despite looking right at it. Jackhammer on Wrath for the win. Goldberg falls off the apron trying to get to Buff. Lex ripped the cast off and hit Goldberg with it. Luger hit Crush for some reason.
Minnesota Massacre Last Man Standing Match
Mike Sanders was "randomly" selected. As were Palumbo and O'Haire. And DDP! And Kevin Nash! I thought Vito and Kwee Wee were supposed to be in this. It's still a handicap match. I don't know why the NBT are so mad. Disco makes fun of DDP doing yoga. Obviously Disco didn't know how to Hulk it out. Palumbo and O'Haire superkick each other at the same time. Now everyone is down. Kwee Wee and the Mamalukes hold off the rest of the Thrillers. Kanyon Cutter! Jackknife to O'Haire. The ref calls for the bell and declares DDP and Nash the winners without even counting the Thrillers out. They hit their finishers and were declared the winners. This was stupid. The Insiders easily just beat 3 of the Thrillers at the same time. Why am I to believe they couldn't do the same in a normal tag match?
Scott comes out and says he will not have this match with Jarrett.
TO THE BACK. Jeff walks in the back and also says it won't happen.
Scott Steiner vs Jeff Jarrett WCW Championship
Disco points out that both men have their wrestling gear on, both have had their entrances, and the title is in the ring. Ric Flair comes out and says he will strip Steiner of his title and remove Jeff from Sin if they don't have this match. Midajah has a replica WCW Championship. Where is the bent title? Jeff shoves Midajah, which makes Steiner mad. We DO have a main event! SWERVE! They had a really good match last summer, but there isn't much time for them to do much and we still need the mystery man to show up. Sid runs in and hits hilariously weak punches. The Mystery Man! It's not Scott Steiner! Crowd was barking, but he didn't reveal himself.
Pretty good show, actually. It didn't particularly make me excited for Sin, but it was a pretty big improvement over most of 2000. It's really amazing what a couple of good undercard matches can do for a whole show. Two good matches made a show with Ron Harris vs The Cat seem pretty good.