GAF: Everyone has issues. Mine is an odd one

Status
Not open for further replies.
P

planar1280

Banned
I get a feeling that I am getting special treatment not because people think I am nice but I am 'Special' in the other sense of the word. I sometimes get the feeling that I don't know it myself but others know I have issues so they treat me nicely. Does this happen to anyone else as well? It is not a life stopping issue but it is always for some reason in the back of my head.

The other day my boss was praising me so much when I didn't really do anything special and I got that feeling again. Maybe I need more 'self-image confidence' classes or something. I know this feeling is not likely true as I have a good job and good decent friends but It is a really odd feeling and it always occurs when I get a plethora of compliments.
 
What a great post OP!

edit: seriously though, try to be fair to yourself. Accept some praise is ego stroking but some of it is warranted.
 
Maybe your actions are just more deserving of praise relative to what your fellow employees have shown your boss recently.

No class/book will ever teach you to have self confidence.
 
Is there anything that could lead people to thinking you're special? Like some speech thing/disability or something?

Edit: Beaten by samus!
 
Nah, I have the same problem.

I think it's simply worrying about living up to those compliments and not disappointing them in the future which bothers me. For example, I don't like doing super well on early assignments in a class because then I worry about keeping that up or looking like a slacker to the teacher.
 
i'm amazed at how astute you are to pick up on this from other people. you're really smart and i bet you can do anything if you put your mind to it.

planar1280 said:
Definately sometimes I have never seen other friends of mine my age do nearing 30.
Click to expand...

ok now i'm thinking maybe you are 'special'
 
samus i am said:
Do you mean special like mentally challenged? Do you look, speak, or act special (in the other sense of the word)?
Click to expand...

I do speak and act sometimes like I am a kid on a few ocassions. Definately sometimes I have never seen other friends of mine my age do nearing 30. i think to myself I am just being young at heart but sometimes the strong feeling is I am just being not normal
 
you truly are the best poster on GAF

you are also really good looking

i love you

here's a cookie



You shouldnt care about this on people you dont care about (like your boss, specially if its good for you). Only try to clarify this to the people you care about.
 
I'm the same way too for the most part.
I just can't really ever accept compliments, and always have to do better than that, because I feel like by taking the compliments at face-value, i'll never be able to progress further than that.
 
Are you horrendously ugly? Be honest. They could be intimidated by your grotesqueness and over compensating by complimenting you when the slightest thing is done right so as not to appear to be tiptoeing around their feelings of you being a visual leper. It might be an act of political correctness. "Dont upset the fuglies" is a bullet point in the Human Resources 2011 Handbook
 
Davedough said:
Are you horrendously ugly? Be honest. They could be intimidated by your grotesqueness and over compensating by complimenting you when the slightest thing is done right so as not to appear to be tiptoeing around their feelings of you being a visual leper. It might be an act of political correctness. "Dont upset the fuglies" is a bullet point in the Human Resources 2011 Handbook
Click to expand...

I am not stupendously good looking or horrendously ugly. In the middle. I dont think its the physical nature, The feeling I get is all whats going on in the head. Am I really deserving of this complement
 
Wow, I wish I had praise heaped on me. If I am not being yelled at, recieving rude glares, subtle threats, or regularly angry jabs focusing on why things are not working. Then the people at work feel that I am lazy because apparently I am not running around enough as something somewhere must be broken and clearly I am ignoring the issue.

So a typical day at work... Things are down (I am not working and thats why they are down)
Things are running correctly... (I am lazy and must be ignoring something that no one has noticed is down yet.)

Accept that praise, and if you still feel people are treating you with childrens gloves talk to them about it.
 
I am sometimes like that, OP.
I sometimes did stupid shit because I was a socially oppressed geek with a built-in "I am inferior socially" feeling. When going into college later, and growing into a proper adult I went through all that the others went through when they were 15-18, so I was behind.

My friends still love me though, and I love them all for tolerating my bad days - and I try to give them as much fun back as possible when we are together, drinking.
 
I have a hard time taking compliments unless I feel like I've done something I consider challenging to receive it.

planar1280 said:
I am not stupendously good looking or horrendously ugly. In the middle. I dont think its the physical nature, The feeling I get is all whats going on in the head. Am I really deserving of this complement
Click to expand...

THIS is what I'm talking about.
 
planar1280 said:
I am not stupendously good looking or horrendously ugly. In the middle. I dont think its the physical nature, The feeling I get is all whats going on in the head. Am I really deserving of this complement
Click to expand...

All kidding aside, I think its just an inability to accept compliments. My wife is the same way. She will actually get weirded out by compliments. Early in our relationship, we got into a fight because I said I was proud of her.

I dont really know how other people do it, but I'm the type to where I dont give a compliment unless I feel its deserving, and you should accept that a good portion of other people are the same way. If they said it, accept it, smile and move on.
 
diddles said:
ok now i'm thinking maybe you are 'special'
Click to expand...

I laughed, sorry OP :(

I am averse to compliments too, but not because I don't think I deserve them. I like to hear compliments, but don't like the attention that comes with it.
 
Yeah, I used to get this. I think it was an extension of a general paranoia. Thankfully it's gone, possibly because I now try to accept people at face value for the most part. Occam's razor and all that, the simplest explanation is usually the correct one. Life is complicated enough.
 
well it depends on what you are "doing"

are you breathing and getting praise for it or are you doing horribly complicated engineering mathematical equations that normal engineering students can do?


i need more context.
 
Interesting, OP. Do you know if your boss subscribes to the "complimenting people improves their productivity" management style? Mine does, and compliments me for no good reason all the time. She especially likes to compliment me before criticizing my performance. When it's coming from your boss, take it with a grain of salt.
 
Watch Da Birdie said:
Nah, I have the same problem.

I think it's simply worrying about living up to those compliments and not disappointing them in the future which bothers me. For example, I don't like doing super well on early assignments in a class because then I worry about keeping that up or looking like a slacker to the teacher.
Click to expand...
I sometimes feel that way.

This sounds like a self-esteem issue. The odds that everyone around you is lying to you when they give you praise are remote.

What do you think you would have to do in order to deserve praise OP?
 
lEvZ0.jpg

?
 
planar1280 said:
I do speak and act sometimes like I am a kid on a few ocassions. Definately sometimes I have never seen other friends of mine my age do nearing 30. i think to myself I am just being young at heart but sometimes the strong feeling is I am just being not normal
Click to expand...
Maybe you are just more upbeat and it helps others around you remember to not be so uptight all the time.
 
Listen, think of it this way, if your boss knew you had problems and that it got in the way of your work, he would boot you.

He is praising you now.

Most bosses don't like keeping around employees with problems, unless they are truly doing a good job.

You really the deserve the praise Planar, don't worry.
 
planar1280 said:
I get a feeling that I am getting special treatment not because people think I am nice but I am 'Special' in the other sense of the word. I sometimes get the feeling that I don't know it myself but others know I have issues so they treat me nicely. Does this happen to anyone else as well? It is not a life stopping issue but it is always for some reason in the back of my head.
Click to expand...
Yes, you're not alone. my native language isn't english. when I made presentations in english class people would clap, but for longer with me. I did like it I admit, but I really wish they wouldn't do the "oh good job!!" "your english is amazing!" stuff after I sit down... there are so many other scenarios outside of school as well.

Sometimes I get visually frustrated with pronunciations, but its nice to know people sort of feel you trying, I think. I feel like a kid in ABCs class at times though. I want to be fluent so fucking bad I would give my soul. pretty much all of my anxiety and stuff comes from this.
 
planar1280 said:
I get a feeling that I am getting special treatment not because people think I am nice but I am 'Special' in the other sense of the word. I sometimes get the feeling that I don't know it myself but others know I have issues so they treat me nicely. Does this happen to anyone else as well? It is not a life stopping issue but it is always for some reason in the back of my head.

The other day my boss was praising me so much when I didn't really do anything special and I got that feeling again. Maybe I need more 'self-image confidence' classes or something. I know this feeling is not likely true as I have a good job and good decent friends but It is a really odd feeling and it always occurs when I get a plethora of compliments.
Click to expand...
qWN0n.jpg


Everyone's special!
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Similar threads

  • Locked
Who has an account older than mine?
5
792
redhatyellow replied
Anyone one GAF swinging?
38
1K
YCoCg replied
Found this in an old box of mine
7
871
ÆMNE22A!C replied
Do you have what others would consider a ridiculous fear or phobia? Because mine is vomiting and stomach bugs
2
63
2K
Northeastmonk replied
Disney has remastered one of the greatest action movies of all time in full 4K: Con Air!
46
2K
genesisblock replied
Top Bottom