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HAHA UWE BOLL HAHAHA

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F

Fifty

Member
That's gold. He wrote that?? :D

hahahahah

"If you think that HOD is shit you are right in a way because it is cheesy but you are wrong in a lot of ways. First of all if you really see the move on screen or DVD you will recognize that the CINEMASCOPE look of the movie and the sound are absolutly A LIST"

" "HOUSE Of THE DEAD was in a lot of territories a very big success. In Middle East, Russia, Spain, Thailand and South America was the movie similar to the USA and KANADA two weeks in the TOP TEN and a long time in the Video/DVD-Charts"


Ohohoohoho
 
D

Duck of Death

Member
The big battle in front of the house with the MATRIX and TURN TABLE effects, over 100 blood effects and 11000 cuts in 13 minutes will be film history in a few years because in NO OTHER FILM EVER was a similar scene. Also Rodrigez or Tarantino ever made a scene like this escalating action scene in HOD.
Click to expand...

This guy is completely out of his mind.
 
K

Kiriku

SWEDISH PERFECTION
Haha, Uwe is actually right though. He made a movie based on a game with really shitty dialogue and story. A faithful reproduction was made, so what was everyone expecting? The sad thing is, people actually went to see it too. :D
 
C

COCKLES

being watched
Mike Works said:
KANADA?

THAT MOTHER FUCKER
Click to expand...

And what was worse he was probably pointing to Nigeria on the map as he wrote it.

I'll give him another chance with AITD - it's possible HOTD was a nod, nod, cheese wink that was so sublime we failed to 'get it'. But I doubt it...
 
M

Mike Works

Member
COCKLES said:
And what was worse he was probably pointing to Nigeria on the map as he wrote it.

I'll give him another chance with AITD - it's possible HOTD was a nod, nod, cheese wink that was so sublime we failed to 'get it'. But I doubt it...
Click to expand...
You know that HOMELAND movie he's referring to? It's a Columbine (Elephant) ripoff. My buddy was one of the main actors, one of the 3 kids who go on the shooting spree.

I hope they release it one day :(
 
D

Dead

well not really...yet
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F

fart

Savant
i saw HOTD with my friend bethany alexander oops i mean my girlfriend we're in love

that movie was so scary liz alexandria asked me to walk out on it. i did it because i love her

has anyone else walked out on a movie?
 
M

mattx5

Member
fart said:
i saw HOTD with my friend bethany alexander oops i mean my girlfriend we're in love

that movie was so scary liz alexandria asked me to walk out on it. i did it because i love her

has anyone else walked out on a movie?
Click to expand...

Subtle..... yet effective.
 
C

cvkpaladin

Member
In August ALONE IN THE DARK is finished and this movie is way above movies like UNDERWORLD or RESIDENT EVIL. And for BLOODRAYNE what we do this summer - we have a great script from Guin Turner (she co-wrote AMERICAN PSYCHO) and we will deliver a movie way better as VAN HELSING was (much darker and more brutal).
Click to expand...

I see he has high standards to compare his movies to. Cause we all know Underworld, Resident Evil, and (especially) Van Helsing are the cream of the crop in their selected categories. I personally never saw House of the Dead, but now I kinda want to.
 
W

Wario64

works for Gamestop (lol)
"The big battle in front of the house with the MATRIX and TURN TABLE effects, over 100 blood effects and 11000 cuts in 13 minutes will be film history in a few years because in NO OTHER FILM EVER was a similar scene. Also Rodrigez or Tarantino ever made a scene like this escalating action scene in HOD"



Oh man this is hilarious
 
M

mattx5

Member
"Also Rodrigez or Tarantino ever made a scene like this escalating action scene in HOD"
Click to expand...

He's so right. I can't remember any scene like that in Quentin's last zombie/horror film?

:| What a dipshit.
 
S

Sriram

Member
that cant be right about 11000 cuts in 13 minutes can it!? Thats like 14 cuts A SECOND. Ive never seen any of his movies but now im kinda tempted to see how horrible they are. How do directors like this get big breaks when theres so many under appreciated directors out there?!
 
L

LuckyBrand

Banned
this thread is making me laugh ALOT.

i have the movie, i rented and burned it.. bt have never watched it.. i think im going to have to watch it tonight..

oh man i am laughing right now still... his quotes, your guys comments, and the olimario joke, oh man.. great thread.
 
L

LuckyBrand

Banned
oh man, his commentary is hilarious!!!

"Can you show me in HOD logical mistakes like in the remake of DAWN OF THE DEAD? How the fuck in DAWN OF THE DEAD is coming the fat woman and the other people from the inside of the truck in the mall? How they are coming later back in the tunnel from the house of the sniper? "

i love his swearing , shows his passion.
 
B

Banjo Tango

Member
Sriram said:
that cant be right about 11000 cuts in 13 minutes can it!? Thats like 14 cuts A SECOND.
Click to expand...
That scene is painfully long, and then recaps at the end with split-second cuts of previous 12 minutes.

It also had a girl in a stars-and-stripes unitard named "Liberty." She knew kung-fu. It was AWEOMSE!11
 
L

LuckyBrand

Banned
oh shit,i am definately watching this tonight and also drinking while i do it... not alot, just enough to make it fun however.

anyone else going to watch House of the Dead tonight and have a couple drinks?!

anyone, anyone?

bueller?
 
F

fart

Savant
lizzy beth anne, my girlfriend, doesn't drink. we're going to play a game of mario kart and then she's going to freak out my creepy neighbor with her crazy girl antics. we're so perfect for each other.
 
L

LuckyBrand

Banned
i think his CINEMASCOPE is much more A-LIST, however...


so is anyone else going to watch this tonight or what?

i am prepping my captain morgan + coke after i hit submit on this.. yummy.
 
L

LuckyBrand

Banned
okay you bastards.. i am playing me some xbox for about 30 mionutes, and then popping in house of the dead... ill post my thoughts later.
 
C

callous

Member
fart said:
i saw HOTD with my friend bethany alexander oops i mean my girlfriend we're in love

that movie was so scary liz alexandria asked me to walk out on it. i did it because i love her

has anyone else walked out on a movie?
Click to expand...

:D
 
L

LuckyBrand

Banned
okay HOTD is going IN if you know what i am saying
wink wink nudge nudge

say no more


hoping this drink will help make it more fun to watch..

also the fake it has ellie cornell from halloween4+5 wont hurt...

and that creepy dude thats the brother of that big director is in it.. thats cool i guess..

cant wait to see 11,000 fucking cuts in 13 minutes...
 
W

Willco

Hollywood Square
LuckyBrand said:
okay HOTD is going IN if you know what i am saying
wink wink nudge nudge

say no more


hoping this drink will help make it more fun to watch..

also the fake it has ellie cornell from halloween4+5 wont hurt...

and that creepy dude thats the brother of that big director is in it.. thats cool i guess..

cant wait to see 11,000 fucking cuts in 13 minutes...
Click to expand...

... Uwe Boll? Maybe he directed Halloween 4-6, but that part of the series got retconned.
 
A

ArcadeStickMonk

Member
Look, this isn't funny. This man is out to ruin the video-game movie for good. After he's done with Alone in the Dark, Bloodrayne, and Dungeon Siege no studios will ever green light a movie that has the stigma of being linked to a video game.

We need to rise up as a community and smite him. I got the sticks, who has a van?


ah do wanna see bloodrayne doh...
 
L

LuckyBrand

Banned
no no, ellie cornell is the girl from h4+5, the older step-sister of the little girl who's uncle is michael myers...

she dies early in h5...

she is like a cop or something in this film..

so far i am 25 minutes in, the captain+pepsi one is definately helping..

the opening credits were actually pretty cool...

the acting/dialogue is bad, as well as the script.. its flow and movement is so illogical and just plain bad.. but going into it with the expectations of it being a movie version of the videogames... such as the story/acting are equally as bad and bad on purpose, it actually isnt all that bad to watch, and actually alot of fun..

but jesus god, the acting is really bad from most of the people.. a few of the people are actually decent, but then you get a few that seem like they are off a bad USA network movie..

i am anxious for the shooting/action to begin...
 
L

LuckyBrand

Banned
okay i am 35 minutes in...

ellie cornell just shot the shit out of that guys girlfriend turned zombie..

the acting is pretty bad, but i am thinking in some cases intentionally so.. ellie cornell was a pretty good actress in halloween 4 + 5...

in this movie, its like a fucking robot ate her soul and stole her skin. its ass-tastic..

*HOWEVER*

the CINEMASCAPE is a-list...


i just finished my double rum + coke, i dont drink much, so its given me a good base, not quite a buzz yet, but like the happy state where I am still enjoying this movie.. i will definately need reinforcements, as it wont last with a movie so ass-tastic..

i picked up some Seagram's Smooth at trader joe's today... where its being closed at, $3.99 a 6 pack... so I am about to pop open a seagram's red, and then i'll move onto a seagram's citrus..and that should keep me in that almost buzzed state through the rest of the film..

otherwise..

i might not make it.....


i'm out
 
L

LuckyBrand

Banned
btw, i will continue to post updates... if you are also watching HoTD tonight, please let me know of your other-worldy experiences..

back to the movie...
 
P

Particle Physicist

between a quark and a baryon
how the hell is this guy getting all these videogame licenses??


a friend of mine rented HOTD a few months ago.. the movie was so bad.. i couldnt even enjoy making fun of it.


fart said:
i saw HOTD with my friend bethany alexander oops i mean my girlfriend we're in love

that movie was so scary liz alexandria asked me to walk out on it. i did it because i love her

has anyone else walked out on a movie?
Click to expand...

haha
 
L

LuckyBrand

Banned
okay i am an hour and 7 minutes into it...

that 13 minute scene was actually pretty cool, lots of shooting and shit... i can see how it was alot of cuts, but 11,000? who knows.. at the very end it was cutting so quick you couldnt even make anything out...

i am going to pop open a seagrams' smooth citrus, and hopefully that will take me through the end of the movie..

after that,.. maybe ill play HOTD3 on my xbox, that takes like 25-30 minutes to beat.. might as well huh?
 
L

LuckyBrand

Banned
finished the movie...

wow its bad, but i didnt ever get bored.. it was still entertaining..

go into it with a few drinks, 2-5 drinks, and youll be good.. also go into it expecting a movie version of the games.. ie: lots of shooting, bad acting, cheasy plot.

at the end, the main dudes name was rudolph curien or some shit... isnt that the last name of the bad dudes in HOTD3? seems like they tried in vain to make as many connections as possible, and i dont think ANYONE who saw this in the theatre would have picked up on that connection whatsoever...

going to checkou the special features and hit the sack...
 
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