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[Quick]

Did everyone laugh at that? My entire theater busted out as well

Mine was going nuts for it. Huge applause after, but everyone was laughing hard as he was hopping off the stones.

 

[3phemeral]

Reading through the first few pages of the thread, it seems a lot of people had the same impressions. Like the death of Smaug could have been the ending of the 2nd movie. I wanted to like this movie and my partner was excited because one of the trailers seemed to indicate they would do justice to the one thing he was looking forward to in the movie: Galadriel.

From the get go, the movie was littered with the same things that made the first one mildly unbearable for me with the slapstick and the gimmicky modes of transport but it was everywhere in this one. Like exponentially increased. Heaven forbid anyone actually travel or swim through anything. There has to be something that quickly whisks them away because everyone in this movie is so clever.

Just off the top of my head, gimmicky modes of transport:

1) Bard somehow managing to rope the Master of Laketown's neck who was coincidentally traveling under a bridge which Bard is trapped in. Then, after dragging the Master across the boat and pinning him, the tension shatters the prison/bridge/wall allowing Bard to full-body stand out through the opening. Only for him later not to use that opening to escape, but to punch a hole through the ceiling.

2) Bard's son realizing his dad is out of arrows because he needs the special arrow to pierce Smaug's skin. Oh look, the boat just happens to be passing by the very spot the arrow was hidden. Now how do I get to my father? Oh wait, there just happens to be a hook I can grab and swing myself to the spot I need to go! (Also, Dwarves have eagle-eye vision because how can you know Bard was hitting his mark? "Because, I saw et wit my own two eyes!")

3) Bard finding a smashed wagon that has two functioning wheels (which happens to be right next to him) when he spots a giant about to smash into his children. Of course, he rides the wagon over the cobblestone flooring, onto and over his kids, just narrowly missing them, of course.

4) Where did those Rams come from? Were they just living in the castle, undetected by Smaug all these years?

5) Legolas hitching a ride onto a bat that somehow never notices an elf clutching to its ankles.

6) Earth eaters! Why couldn't they just eat their way into the castle?

7) Legolas somersaulting over a tower onto a giant who, of course, happens to be blind and with chains so that Legolas can conveniently lead it astray to knock down that same tower.. And oh, did I tell you the bridge just happens to break into the right size to fit the gap of the chasm perfectly?​

Tauriel was completely shafted. She was crafted into this strong character, only to be overwhelmed by love and emotion. She couldn't even save herself, nor her love who died in the process. She couldn't even avenge him. I was hoping there was some reason why she couldn't be the one to deal the finishing blow, only to realize the job was given to Legolas so that he could, uh, have spectacularly-clever-and-cool-kill-scene #9000.

I also couldn't help but notice how Bard was all like, "Only the women and children should be in the safehold," when I could have sworn Peter Jackson was thinking about how his daughters would perceive themselves in previous movies. Wait, the next scene the holed-up group of women take arms and scream, "We can't just leave it to the men! Let's fight!" (Some time passes) You never seen them again after that.

I actually wasn't bothered by Thorin's "just got over my insanity in the nick of time" until it turned into a Pantene Pro-V commercial. That hair!

How many times are people going to trust Alfrid after just explaining to him why he's so untrustworthy? Let's give an obviously seedy character as much responsibility as possible! He's also conveniently in the right place at the right time at all times.

Speaking of, his inclusion as comic relief was poorly thought out. I wish he were the only thing wrong with the comedy but he was just the starting point. The movie couldn't decide if things were serious or slapstick:

1) The town was massacred by dragon's fire and everyone is angry over losing their homes so they're especially unhappy when Alfrid attempts to reclaim power. A mob ensues when he tries to steal an elderly woman's blanket and Bard is there just in time to save the day. Random Villager #8 conveniently steps in and says, "Aye! I saw et wit my own two eyes!" And the crowd cheers. "Woo! Be our king!" Alfrid gets up to align himself with their newfound leader only to be immediately knocked down. Laughter ensues!

2) At no point did I believe that the humans could hold their own against a tin-can-cladded, spear-wielding, Giant-commanding army. It was ridiculous that you'd see Bard at the front lines of every swarm sans armor and surviving.

3) The battle is lost? Where is Thorin? He'll save us! Surely he has something up his sleeve? Yes! 13 Dwarves with hardly any armor riding golden-horned rams will somehow change the course of this battle after hundreds, if not, thousands of fully armored dwarves and elves have died!

4) Now, was Dain supposed to be desperately seeking help because his army was getting slaughtered, or was he calm and collected, high-fivin' Thorin while killing Orcs with a fart and barely a thought? Is it high stakes or not? Also, was he entirely CG? Because that was confusing.

5) I know everyone is running for their lives and dying left and right, but let's show Bard having a semi-charming conversation with Alfrid as he attempts to escape dressed as a woman with his bra stuffed with gold coins. Then lets focus on him readjusting his gold-coin-stuffed breasts so he can awkwardly escape, making the battle seem even more inconsequential.

6) Everyone fighting for their lives but oh no, here comes Bilbo with his rocks and pebbles, knocking out bad-ass orc warriors left and right. Meanwhile, Tauriel...

7) Mutha' Fuckin' Eagles!​

As for Galadriel, I've never read the books so I wasn't sure what to expect, but supposedly she was supposed to destroy the entire city herself. My partner was extremely disappointed, but I guess I didn't really miss out on much.

My beef with the scene had to do with Galadriel walking in barefoot by herself (oh, she's going to be so bad ass!), only to be weakened the entire fight, being drained of her energy while merely existing in that space. Meanwhile, Elrond and Saruman slow-walk like pimps into the arena, nevermind Galadriel being in imminent danger. They gotta get that cool swagger, fighting the 9 kings like bosses, never missing a beat. By the end of it they're not drained like Galadriel. They still got fight in them. Dol Guldur ain't got shit on them. I suppose she did manage to banish Sauron with her last bit of strength.

You'd think that after all that, I couldn't possibly find anything else. But the music! I can't remember how many times I had to hear the music swell with all of those just-in-time, last-minute saves that it just became so meaningless. I swear, it was like, 10 in the span of two minutes where the music would subside and oh, here it comes, the strings that indicate triumph!

Also, that random, 10-second shot of that Asian lady near the beginning of the movie just made me think the entire time, "Is she the only minority in this film?"

 

[DrForester]

As for Galadriel, I've never read the books so I wasn't sure what to expect, but supposedly she was supposed to destroy the entire city herself. My partner was extremely disappointed, but I guess I didn't really miss out on much.

My beef with the scene had to do with Galadriel walking in barefoot by herself (oh, she's going to be so bad ass!), only to be weakened the entire fight, being drained of her energy while merely existing in that space. Meanwhile, Elron and Saruman slow-walk like pimps into the arena, nevermind Galadriel being in imminent danger. They gotta get that cool swagger, fighting the 9 kings like bosses, never missing a beat. By the end of it they're not drained like Galadriel. They still got fight in them. Dol Guldur ain't got shit on them. I suppose she did manage to banish Sauron with her last bit of strength.

You'd think that after all that, I couldn't possibly find anything else. But the music! I can't remember how many times I had to hear the music swell with all of those just-in-time, last-minute saves that it just became so meaningless. I swear, it was like, 10 in the span of two minutes where the music would subside and oh, here it comes, the strings that indicate triumph!

Also, that random, 10-second shot of that Asian lady near the beginning of the movie just made me think the entire time, "Is she the only minority in this film?"

The battle with the White Council at Dol Guldur is glossed over in the appendecies. Nothing is known except they went to Dol Guldur and drove Sauron out. The specifics are not mentioned.

As for Galadrial destroying the city, that happens years later, after the one ring is destroyed. Dol Guldur was re inhabited by several of the Nazgul, a few years after the council drove out Sauron.

 

[Buckethead]

The Empire Podcast spoilers special has been released (in two parts):

Philippa Boyens interview:

https://soundcloud.com/empiremagazi...ies-spoiler-special-philippa-boyens-interview

Richard Armitage interview:

https://soundcloud.com/empiremagazi...ive-armies-spoiler-special-2-richard-armitage

Anything good?

 

[3phemeral]

The battle with the White Council at Dol Guldur is glossed over in the appendecies. Nothing is known except they went to Dol Guldur and drove Sauron out. The specifics are not mentioned.

As for Galadrial destroying the city, that happens years later, after the one ring is destroyed. Dol Guldur was re inhabited by several of the Nazgul, a few years after the council drove out Sauron.

Thanks for the details. I'll have to bring the bad news to him that it's not the way he remembers it being.

 

[Danneee]

The movie is ok. But it really shouldn't exist, it could easily had been two movies as the third was like 90% fight scenes.

 

[Gentleman Jack]

Man, I nearly fell out of my chair laughing when Legolas was literally walking on air.

That got a lot of laughter in the theater I was in.

As did Thorin following the clearly not-dead Azog and then getting foot-stabbed.

Drop Bears got a lot of laughs.

Kind of wish the movie was trying to be funny instead of pathetic with these lines.

Billy Connolly was great

 

[Shaanyboi]

Ended up writing a review for this, but figured I'd post my final paragraph...

"In the beautifully put-together and extensive behind-the-scenes documentaries in the Lord of the Rings trilogy, there is an exceptionally poignant moment when Peter Jackson is directing the final shot with Frodo, played by Elijah Wood. Jackson, trying to fight off his tears, struggling to say "cut" and finally end the filming, and instead continues to ask Wood to try the scene again. Once he finally accepts the reality that his time with his cast is over, he embraces Wood and thanks him as the two shed tears together, ending their incredible once-in-a-lifetime journey with one another. It is a heart-breaking moment for both the crew, as well as we the audience. I can't help but wonder what Jackson's attitude was when filming the final shot of these films. Was it the same challenge to let go? Was it exhaustion? Whatever it was, I'm sure he could add some CG tears later to make us believe it's supposed to be a sad moment."

 

[DeathyBoy]

Ended up writing a review for this, but figured I'd post my final paragraph...

"In the beautifully put-together and extensive behind-the-scenes documentaries in the Lord of the Rings trilogy, there is an exceptionally poignant moment when Peter Jackson is directing the final shot with Frodo, played by Elijah Wood. Jackson, trying to fight off his tears, struggling to say "cut" and finally end the filming, and instead continues to ask Wood to try the scene again. Once he finally accepts the reality that his time with his cast is over, he embraces Wood and thanks him as the two shed tears together, ending their incredible once-in-a-lifetime journey with one another. It is a heart-breaking moment for both the crew, as well as we the audience. I can't help but wonder what Jackson's attitude was when filming the final shot of these films. Was it the same challenge to let go? Was it exhaustion? Whatever it was, I'm sure he could add some CG tears later to make us believe it's supposed to be a sad moment."

I'm sad that, seemingly, to everyone else, the CGI was THAT bad...

Seemed fine to me. Dain looked ridiculous, but I figured it was intentional given the fact that this is a much sillier story than LOTR was. Throwing in stuff like him and the Masters goofy no 2 were aimed at kids, and given how up it's own ass serious other parts of the film were they were right to include it.

Or more aptly - this film wasn't made for me, it was made for some ten year old. I'm just along for the nostalgic ride.

 

[Rodney McKay]

I really wish they had just focused this series on Bilbo (you know, THE HOBBIT). The first movie did that pretty well, but it seemed like there was less and less of him in each movie. It would have been refreshing to focus the movie on the perspective of ONE character instead of making everyone a main character of their own plot. (so many characters and stories I cared nothing about: not the wizard, the other wizard, the main dwarf, the adviser dwarf, the love sick dwarf, the love sick elf, the other love sick elf, the human guy, and the elf king)

All in all The Hobbit series is just overly epic for no reason, get further away from the tone of the book with each movie, and left zero emotional impact after the whole thing was over.

And yeah, the dragon death should have been part of the last movie. Having it be the start of this one made it way less meaningful. Smaug was pretty great in the last movie, but in this one he just burns some stuff, says about 3 lines, and dies.

 

[The Technomancer]

I'm sad that, seemingly, to everyone else, the CGI was THAT bad...

Seemed fine to me. Dain looked ridiculous, but I figured it was intentional given the fact that this is a much sillier story than LOTR was. Throwing in stuff like him and the Masters goofy no 2 were aimed at kids, and given how up it's own ass serious other parts of the film were they were right to include it.

Or more aptly - this film wasn't made for me, it was made for some ten year old. I'm just along for the nostalgic ride.

Sorry but the CGI really was that bad to me. The orcs looked like they weren't really there pretty much constantly except for the final fight between Thorin and Ahab (or whatever) and that goddamn fight against the wringwraithes honestly looked like something out of Dark Souls to me. Especially in comparison to the original LotR trilogy. I'm not saying the CGI wasn't impressive in its detail, I'm saying that it lacked a tangibility.

 

[Korey]

Ended up writing a review for this, but figured I'd post my final paragraph...

"In the beautifully put-together and extensive behind-the-scenes documentaries in the Lord of the Rings trilogy, there is an exceptionally poignant moment when Peter Jackson is directing the final shot with Frodo, played by Elijah Wood. Jackson, trying to fight off his tears, struggling to say "cut" and finally end the filming, and instead continues to ask Wood to try the scene again. Once he finally accepts the reality that his time with his cast is over, he embraces Wood and thanks him as the two shed tears together, ending their incredible once-in-a-lifetime journey with one another. It is a heart-breaking moment for both the crew, as well as we the audience. I can't help but wonder what Jackson's attitude was when filming the final shot of these films. Was it the same challenge to let go? Was it exhaustion? Whatever it was, I'm sure he could add some CG tears later to make us believe it's supposed to be a sad moment."

Nice.

 

[Gawge]

It chugged along, but there was zero weight or heart behind it. I didn't care about anyone, apart from maybe Bilbo and Gandalf, but they were barely in the film.

Many scenes were somewhat enjoyable to watch, such as the opening (despite feeling out of place) and some of the battle scenes (which were too long and padded).

It was just mostly lifeless - I suppose we all know it shouldn't have been stretched this thin. There is good stuff in there, but it really doesn't hold together, and I rarely cared at all in the movie.

 

[hadareud]

There's definitely not enough Bilbo, not in the whole trilogy. To think they dedicated the amount of time they did to the ridiculous love story, to Legolas' silly CG stunts and to Bard's bloody annoying children is frustrating.

As for the dwarves characters not being developed enough (mentioned earlier), I can't say I see that as a bad thing, though. I didn't feel like I wanted to know more about the side kick dwarves. Less, if anything.

 

[Hours Left]

Just saw it. I liked it. Could of been way better though.

The directing left a lot of scenes really flat and lifeless.

 

[Helmholtz]

Just saw it and thought it was pretty okay. Best of the three Hobbit movies by far. None of these come close to the quality of the LotR trilogy, but I think this one is closest. Still way too many goofy moments, ridiculous action sequences, and meh cgi.
I'm kind of baffled at how much screentime was given to that comedic relief unibrow guy though. And I have to agree that the beginning laketown sequence should have been in the second film. They could have easily cut down that stupid cat and mouse gold-smaug sequence and fit it in. The second film is my least favorite of this trilogy, and a lot of that is because of this decision to go with the cliffhanger instead of putting the pretty cool laketown-smaug sequence as its ending.
I managed to stay unspoiled for The Hobbit story this whole time, and I have to say I found the deaths pretty surprising. I personally love it when a story isn't afraid to kill off main characters, and this didn't disappoint there. I think they actually managed to redeem Thorin fairly well, considering how much of a d-bag he was for most of the trilogy.
I liked the way they ended it too. Ties into the LotR nicely.
This movie probably had the best pacing of the bunch. Didn't really overstay its welcome.

 

[kharma45]

There's definitely not enough Bilbo, not in the whole trilogy. To think they dedicated the amount of time they did to the ridiculous love story, to Legolas' silly CG stunts and to Bard's bloody annoying children is frustrating.

As for the dwarves characters not being developed enough (mentioned earlier), I can't say I see that as a bad thing, though. I didn't feel like I wanted to know more about the side kick dwarves. Less, if anything.

I would've liked more focus on Bilbo too. I feel Freeman was quite underused over the three movies.

 

[Turin]

More Bilbo and more Thranduil would've been nice.

 

[Joel Was Right]

Legolas is an interesting character that could be developed. The Elves are such an interesting contrast to the rest of Middle Earth that I'd love to see more of them.

 

[Monocle]

I am completely aware of differentiating opinions and I support them but I really wish a higher power in the universe could explain to me how it works.

I loved all three Hobbit films, I think all three have bloat and none of them come close to a masterpiece. They all feel full of life and act as a great sequel to the lord of the rings trilogy I think.

I feel like there is a ton to appreciate here and I'm really glad these movies were done and im also glad some* of the extra stuff was included.

I'm not saying I'm right and others are wrong because that's not true at all. I just can't even see the "these films were horrible" or "Peter Jackson is the new George Lucas" comments. I think many would loved for that to be the case but these films are far better than any of the Star Wars prequels for many many reasons.

I agree 100%. The LOTR films are stronger overall but the magic is far from gone in the Hobbit trilogy. The hyperbolic slams against Jackson are really unwarranted here.

 

[Copenap]

Saw it at last.

For me it was the weakest of the three and the other two where already pretty meh. Very disappointed overall.

 

[Log4Girlz]

I agree 100%. The LOTR films are stronger overall but the magic is far from gone in the Hobbit trilogy. The hyperbolic slams against Jackson are really unwarranted here.

The magic is most certainly not gone. Its a fucking curse.

 

[TheLegendOfMart]

I guess cheering and laughing is an American only thing as UK cinemas don't cheer or laugh, at least when I went to see it.

Why is everyone picking on the Legolas walking on air bit?

I haven't really read the books but from what I've gathered is that Elves are perfect in every way and are very light on their feet and weigh practically nothing?

 

[shacklesmcgee]

I didn't stay for the whole credits, so I'm not sure if there's an after credits scene, but can someone tell me why the fuck Alfrid didn't die or whatever? What message is Jackson going for, "be a coward and asshole and steal and nothing will ever really happen to you"? I liked the movie the most out of all 3, but Alfrid really pissed me off, and I totally agree with the comparisons to Jar Jar Binks.

 

[TheLegendOfMart]

I didn't stay for the whole credits, so I'm not sure if there's an after credits scene, but can someone tell me why the fuck Alfrid didn't die or whatever? What message is Jackson going for, "be a coward and asshole and steal and nothing will ever really happen to you"? I liked the movie the most out of all 3, but Alfrid really pissed me off, and I totally agree with the comparisons to Jar Jar Binks.

I think because he was corrupted by the Master of Laketown greed, it is clear he has no mind of his own and just latches on to whoever seems to be in power at the time. You are supposed to pity him.

The Master got his comeuppance when he was killed by fallen Smaug.

 

[Froli]

Just got back from watching it. There are a lot of parts that are unnecessary that should have been cut to make the movie better. Yeah Alfrid is the new jar jar binks.

 

[Patrick Bateman]

My main "problem" I have with the whole Hobbit-series:

Was the book that violent? I read it years ago and always thought of it as a book for children.

In my opinion Jackson wanted "The Hobbit" to be "TLOTR" or at least do the movies like it. It somehow didn't fit and never felt as good as "TLOTR".

 

[Aklamarth]

How the fuck does everyone "know" that Jackson wanted this and that instead of WarnerBros , huh ?

I think WB wanted the movie made only if they made the "prequel" to LOTR instead of a children movie. It makes way more sense financially to make a LOTR prequel instead of a movie for children. Also WB had to pay some cash for the movie rights (which were owned by Weinstein if i'm not mistaken , and who sued WB after "The Hobbit" become a trilogy ).

Now....why the fuck would WB deal with all this for a children movie ?

 

[Real Hero]

I always got the feeling Jackson was very against going back and making the Hobbit because he was smart enough to know it couldn't recapture the magic. Something changed obviously.

 

[Ushojax]

I always got the feeling Jackson was very against going back and making the Hobbit because he was smart enough to know it couldn't recapture the magic. Something changed obviously.

Jackson did it for the money. These are not films made with any kind of passion, it feels like Jackson just wanted to get them out of the way rather than let some other director handle his franchise.

 

[Turin]

Del Toro likely would've done a good job. The only thing I didn't like about what I've heard about what he was going to do is what Smaug would have looked like....

Anyway. Any faults there are with the Hobbit movies lays with Peter Jackson. I think the actors all did a good job with what they were given.

 

[GloveSlap]

I never read the Hobbit book so I always had a question that I thought would be answered by the movie, but wasn't.

Why was Bilbo invited to come with the elves to the undying lands? I always assumed he was going to have some connection to the elves during The Hobbit, but he had few positive interactions with any of them. Was it just Gandalf wanting him to come?

 

[Edmond Dantès]

I never read the Hobbit book so I always had a question that I thought would be answered by the movie, but wasn't.

Why was Bilbo invited to come with the elves to the undying lands? I always assumed he was going to have some connection to the elves during The Hobbit, but he had few positive interactions with any of them. Was it just Gandalf wanting him to come?

He was a Ringbearer and thus afforded the right to make the journey to the West. He along with Frodo would be healed of the ills of the One Ring, but salvation was not guaranteed and Tolkien himself was unsure of it. Thus the Ringbearers are analogous to those who return from war suffering from PTSD. Or shell shock as it was known in Tolkien's time.

 

[SiegfriedFM]

I never read the Hobbit book so I always had a question that I thought would be answered by the movie, but wasn't.

Why was Bilbo invited to come with the elves to the undying lands? I always assumed he was going to have some connection to the elves during The Hobbit, but he had few positive interactions with any of them. Was it just Gandalf wanting him to come?

In the extended AUJ, Elrond invited him to stay and live in Rivendell. 60 years later Bilbo did exactly that. From the books, he was very well liked there. But the reason for being invited to the undying lands is his being a ringbearer and helping keep the One from Sauron, even if it was mostly by accident.

 

[Windam]

My main "problem" I have with the whole Hobbit-series:

Was the book that violent? I read it years ago and always thought of it as a book for children.

In my opinion Jackson wanted "The Hobbit" to be "TLOTR" or at least do the movies like it. It somehow didn't fit and never felt as good as "TLOTR".

There were fights and a few mentions of "many were slain" etc., but nothing going into such detail as "Thorin drives his sword through the necks of his enemies" that we saw in the films.

 

[rezuth]

I actually had somewhat high expectations considering that the second movie was somewhat improved from the first movie but this movie is just a fucking mess. It is so clear that they showed a lot of nonsense footage into it just to try and fill out time. Lets show this coward doing something cowardly for the fifteen time, lets do a random scene where the women say they will go out and fight alongside the men etc etc.

The anticlimax when Smaug was killed by a single arrow four minutes into the movie just set the tone for disappointment.

I think the only thing I could appreciate was Martin Freeman just nailing his role as Bilbo, shame it was reduced into "should I or shouldn't I show the stone?".

The constant rehashing of the same things to fill it out was a nightmare. We get it, the guy is struck by "dragon fever", you don't have to remind us with the same shit every fifteen minutes.

Forced love drama gets a sad end, should I even care?

All these tries to do callbacks to LOTR trilogy to force some emotion in the viewer.

CGI looked terrible! I get that its a lot easier to work with but making stuff like Billy Connolly CGI was just mindblowingly dumb decisions.

 

[wildfire]

I liked the movie. It was an improvement over the last 2 movies but all 3 of them are inferior to LOTR. This shouldn't have happened.


Highlights:

Smaug getting Sarumoned.
Galadriel knows how to throw a Spirit Bomb better than Goku.
Sarumon saying he'll take care of the necromancer when he and Elrond couldn't even do jack shit withou Galadriel.
Azog's son having various steel plates embedded in his body. Unless there is Orc magic we haven't heard of this was over the top ludicrous.
The Eagles resolve everything again. I hope this gets parodied mercilessly. If there was a movie to introduce the Eagles as their own faction with a king it was Desolation of Smaug.
Golden tits.
That ending transitioning into the beginning of Fellowship. That was a great send up.

 

[Curufinwe]

What do people think of the Dol Goldur scenes in terms of how much Gandalf knew about Sauron and the Nazgul in FotR? And his interactions with Saruman. Were there any inconsistencies introduced?

 

[Curufinwe]

In the EEs, the Dwarves are even more characterised. I can name every single one and name traits for each, they are awesome. If you watch the AUJ EE appendices, each actor also had major input on the appearance and traits of their characters, it'll give you new appreciation for the characters watching it.

Mark Hadlow who plays Dori is hysterical, seems like everyone had great fun making playful jabs at him. Graham McTavish (Dwalin) is a hoot, too.

I've been watching him in TV comedies since I was a kid. He's a very funny guy. I loved how everyone including PJ talked shit about him (in a joking manner) throughout the appendices.

The story wasn't really about the company. It was about Bilbo. I've always thought that Jackson found the hobbits intensely uninteresting. Which is why he chose to throw Aragorn and Thorin at people as much as possible.

I don't know how you reconcile that opinion with the amount of screen time Frodo and Sam got in the LotR films.

The anticlimax when Smaug was killed by a single arrow four minutes into the movie just set the tone for disappointment..

I can't imagine how disappointed you would be in how that happens in the book with just a regular old arrow instead of a giant windlance arrow.

 

[Edmond Dantès]

What do people think of the Dol Goldur scenes in terms of how much Gandalf knew about Sauron and the Nazgul in FotR? And his interactions with Saruman. Were there any inconsistencies introduced?

Gandalf's surprise at the mention of the Nine in FOTR doesn't really pose much of a problem; merely the surprise of their proximity to the Shire rather than shock of their existence.

As far as Saruman is concerned, in terms of the Legendarium, there was suspicion from Gandalf in regards to Saruman's behavior even before they left Valinor. He deferred to Saruman due to his humility (even though he was greater than Saruman in inherent form) and continued to do so in Middle-earth. He was the wisest of the Maiar and of course his suspicions were raised much earlier than portrayed in the films due to Saruman overruling him on the subject of Dol Guldur and The Necromancer many years before the events of The Hobbit.

Inconsistencies in terms of their relationship? Maybe. Inconsistencies with the timeline? Most certainly.

 

[Wilbur]

Bad film.

Why did Alfrid get no comeuppance despite being an utter cunt?

Why was the CGI so bad? The trolls, the disparity between the small crowd extras and the large scale battles was so so obvious.

Why did that troll stare at Bard for half an hour while he bounced down a hill, coming within millimetres of killing all three of his children?

Why did Dain look like something out of the fucking Polar Express?

Was the scene of Thorin sliding in and out of that view of the stupid hole to talk to Bard supposed to be funny? If it was, it was inappropriate for what the rest of the scene was trying to convey. If it wasn't, then it was unintentionally hilarious.

Why was there a conveniently placed wall hole in the first place? Someone could have fired an arrow at Thorin's face.

Why was Kili's death scene full of sex faces between him and Tauriel?

Why was Legolas randomly upside down at some point?

Why the cheap stupid callback to Aragorn?

Why did Legolas knock down that entire tower which perfectly fit across the gap? He could have crushed Tauriel.

Why did all the armies appearing at the same time feel like Anchorman?

Where the fuck did those goats come from?

Was Azog standing there the whole time with those little flag things, and no one noticed?

Why did those worms get such build up and then just disappear?

Why do over half of the dwarves get absolutely nothing to do throughout, even more so than the other two films?

Why did they smash all those rocks that could have crushed the retreating dwarf army?

Why was that obscenely shit scene of Legolas hopping on fragments of rock included, far more heinous than flying up that elephant?

Why was there three million fake outs for the Bolg and Azog fights? A million times either one of them could have killed their adversary or vice versa. The same with Thorin being saved by Legolas.

Why were the eagles and Beorn so sparsely used, in one shot of the film each? Beorn especially, Jesus.

Why was there a pointless scene of a bunch of women taking up arms if you weren't going to show any of them in battle? Hilarious joke of that cunt in a bra, or way to avoid sexism complaints?

Why not cut back to anything that was going on with the other dwarves while Thorin & company were on the ice? Oh that's right, because we don't care about any of them except for Balin, all of the goodwill which has been compiled over the first two films and gets nothing to do here.

I love the LOTR films. I really like the first two Hobbits. I'm not the type to leave a cinema and nitpick to death.

Yet this film's made me done that. Bad, bad film.

 

[Turin]

Gandalf's surprise at the mention of the Nine in FOTR doesn't really pose much of a problem; merely the surprise of their proximity to the Shire rather than shock of their existence.

As far as Saruman is concerned, in terms of the Legendarium, there was suspicion from Gandalf in regards to Saruman's behavior even before they left Valinor. He deferred to Saruman due to his humility (even though he was greater than Saruman in inherent form) and continued to do so in Middle-earth. He was the wisest of the Maiar and of course his suspicions were raised much earlier than portrayed in the films due to Saruman overruling him on the subject of Dol Guldur and The Necromancer many years before the events of The Hobbit.

Inconsistencies in terms of their relationship? Maybe. Inconsistencies with the timeline? Most certainly.

Who was the greatest of the 5 istari? I thought it was one of the blue wizards even though Saruman outranked everyone. I'm probably mistaken....

 

[Curufinwe]

I agree with several of your complaints, and will try and answer some of the others.

Why did Alfrid get no comeuppance despite being an utter cunt?
-Cut for time, will likely be on the EE

Why did Dain look like something out of the fucking Polar Express?
-Apparently because Billy Connolly was suffering from Parkinsons.

Was the scene of Thorin sliding in and out of that view of the stupid hole to talk to Bard supposed to be funny? If it was, it was inappropriate for what the rest of the scene was trying to convey. If it wasn't, then it was unintentionally hilarious.
-I didn't find it funny at all, and didn't hear anyone in my theater snicker.

Why was there a conveniently placed wall hole in the first place? Someone could have fired an arrow at Thorin's face.
-The only person who could have shot him was Bard, who wouldn't do that.

Why the cheap stupid callback to Aragorn?
-Explains Legolas defense of him to Boromoir at the Council of Elrond.

Where the fuck did those goats come from?
-Sounds like there was a contiongent of Dain's draves riding them that will be on the EE

Why did those worms get such build up and then just disappear?
-Their role was to get the orcs to the battle in sceret, which they did

I love the LOTR films. I really like the first two Hobbits. I'm not the type to leave a cinema and nitpick to death.
-All the other films could be nitpicked to a similar degree.
http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showpost.php?p=144397381&postcount=4710

 

[Edmond Dantès]

Who was the greatest of the 5 istari? I thought it was one of the blue wizards even though Saruman outranked everyone. I'm probably mistaken....

Saruman was perceived by the peoples of Middle-earth to be the greatest of the Istari, but Cirdan recognized (on Gandalf's arrival to the shores of Middle-earth) that Gandalf was the greater, thus giving him the Ring of Power known as Narya.

As far as the Blue Wizards are concerned, in terms of what they achieved and Radagast's ulterior motive and general failure, the Blues would be above the Brown.

 

[Wilbur]

I agree with several of your complaints, and will try and answer some of the others.

Why did Alfrid get no comeuppance despite being an utter cunt?
-Cut for time, will likely be on the EE

Makes his inclusion in this iteration of the film a fucking waste of time then.

Why did Dain look like something out of the fucking Polar Express?
-Apparently because Billy Connolly was suffering from Parkinsons.

Should have recast it, in all honesty.

Was the scene of Thorin sliding in and out of that view of the stupid hole to talk to Bard supposed to be funny? If it was, it was inappropriate for what the rest of the scene was trying to convey. If it wasn't, then it was unintentionally hilarious.
-I didn't find it funny at all, and didn't hear anyone in my theater snicker.

People did exactly that in my screening: snicker (including me). The way the majority of the scene was boxed off and the side of his face came into view made plenty laugh.

Why was there a conveniently placed wall hole in the first place? Someone could have fired an arrow at Thorin's face.
-The only person who could have shot him was Bard, who wouldn't do that.

Regardless, it was a conveniently placed hole when he could have parleyed from where he was originally standing.

Why the cheap stupid callback to Aragorn?
-Explains Legolas defense of him to Boromoir at the Council of Elrond.

Didn't need to be said. We didn't need the horrifically awkward dialogue.

Where the fuck did those goats come from?
-Sounds like there was a contiongent of Dain's draves riding them that will be on the EE

Again, stands out as a poor inclusion in this iteration of the film.

Why did those worms get such build up and then just disappear?
-Their role was to get the orcs to the battle in sceret, which they did

Are they a thing in the books? They get this line of dialogue like "they have forgotten about the horrors of the deep" or whatever it was, and then just disappear.

I love the LOTR films. I really like the first two Hobbits. I'm not the type to leave a cinema and nitpick to death.
-All the other films could be nitpicked to a similar degree.
http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showpost.php?p=144397381&postcount=4710

Regardless of whether that is a joke post or not, there might only be one or two flaws there that actually matter.

I haven't read the Hobbit. I don't care if characters are invented as long as they're good. I don't care if romances are invented as long as they're good.

I don't care if material from the appendices are included as long as they're good. This point is a real shame, because a) I would have been infuriated if Gandalf kept disappearing and reappearing and we had no idea where he'd been, and b) I liked all the Dol Guldur stuff in the previous movies. This film turned it into shit, with Elrond and Saruman conveniently making their appearance on dialogue cues like a fucking band.

 

[Real Hero]

The looking through the hole in wall bit did make me laugh and others in the cinema too. When Thorin slowly slid away from it I thought 'this will be a funny reaction gif'

 

[Wilbur]

Things I liked about the film:

- Smaug proving more threatening in two minutes than he did in any of the action in DOS (although he should have talked more
- Armitage and Freeman's performances (although I didn't buy their friendship because Thorin's been a cunt for almost the entirety of the trilogy save two minutes at the end of AUJ)
- The Last Goodbye

And that's about it. How disappointing.

 

[Curufinwe]

Regardless of whether that is a joke post or not, there might only be one or two flaws there that actually matter.

Most of the flaws you are so incensed about don't really matter and are just questions of taste, like the supposedly "horrifically awkward" dialogue about Strider.

 

[Wilbur]

Most of the flaws you are so incensed about don't really matter and are just questions of taste, like the supposedly "horrifically awkward" dialogue about Strider.

Well it was very awkward, wasn't it?

"They call him Strider. Here is his dad's name. You must find out his real name by yourself."

why

why cant you just tell me you turd

 

[Tizoc]

At this point he had already begun searching for the Ring himself.

I take it he too thought the Ring forever lost? What made him switch to becoming Sauron's aid to begin with?