Smiles and Cries
Member
another GAF traditional vent and bitch thread... I'm Bored 
I'm starting to think that being an Artist/Painter was the worst thing I could have dreamed about
Okay I have another thread of how I owned myself by signing a contract
hoping to work full-time on what I loved to do... = Paint.
So I'm in the middle of a crisis... and really pissed at myself
But I guess I'm still in that finding yourself bullshit stage if there is such a thing, or maybe I just have not found the heart to really go for it. I just don't have the energy to sell myself
you know tell a bunch of rich people bullshit about your paintings, making up deeper meanings to sell the IDEA that your art is Great!
I just Paint... just to freaken PAINT... Do things I like... sure they have meanings but I like it personal and keep it something that helps me cope with life and living.
I have a cousin... (well not blood but our Mothers knew each other so I spent a lot of time around him and his family)
He is an artist in New York, upcoming and does okay on sales...
I have not sold much at all many times just flat out refusing to... I have been doing nothing for the past 6 years but really focusing on my health... I lost my vision during a hospital stay and it took a long time to get my vision back and the vision in my right eye is gone for good. I wanted to give up then...
So here is what my Cousin has to say everytime we talk ART,
"Naz, don't take it the wrong way but I see you as the kind of artist, whose work will be very hot and sell very well (Millions), but after you are DEAD."
then he said, "Me, I am trying to make my money while I am still alive."
So why can't I be like that?
WTF is wrong with me?
Last Night I could not sleep at all... spent all my money on a failed move to TX
rent is coming up and I am doomed... Feeling very depressed... Wondering what it would be like to be DEAD and FAMOUS.
10am finally sleep...
4pm I wake up to check my email from my website... and as usual people who like my work send comments... then I read this
"WOW Your art is beautiful and really unique compared to anything I have seen. Good luck and keep doing what your doing. The only thing is that you know that most artist don`t get famous until after they die."
WTF why did this person send me this note at this time....? GOD hates me
I took my anger out on 2 paintings today... old canvas paintings I did not like much...
(or did I?)
Could not break my Oil Pastel on Board work... Kicked them Stomped them...
but that damn black Industrial Foam Board I used just laughed at me... I need a fucking Hammer. I have a room full of art around me while sleeping on the carpet - no furniture
If I only had a Hammer...
now just trying to find distractions on GAF and the web... can't sleep
I'm starting to think that being an Artist/Painter was the worst thing I could have dreamed about
Okay I have another thread of how I owned myself by signing a contract
hoping to work full-time on what I loved to do... = Paint.
So I'm in the middle of a crisis... and really pissed at myself
But I guess I'm still in that finding yourself bullshit stage if there is such a thing, or maybe I just have not found the heart to really go for it. I just don't have the energy to sell myself
you know tell a bunch of rich people bullshit about your paintings, making up deeper meanings to sell the IDEA that your art is Great!
I just Paint... just to freaken PAINT... Do things I like... sure they have meanings but I like it personal and keep it something that helps me cope with life and living.
I have a cousin... (well not blood but our Mothers knew each other so I spent a lot of time around him and his family)
He is an artist in New York, upcoming and does okay on sales...
I have not sold much at all many times just flat out refusing to... I have been doing nothing for the past 6 years but really focusing on my health... I lost my vision during a hospital stay and it took a long time to get my vision back and the vision in my right eye is gone for good. I wanted to give up then...
So here is what my Cousin has to say everytime we talk ART,
"Naz, don't take it the wrong way but I see you as the kind of artist, whose work will be very hot and sell very well (Millions), but after you are DEAD."
then he said, "Me, I am trying to make my money while I am still alive."
So why can't I be like that?
WTF is wrong with me?
Last Night I could not sleep at all... spent all my money on a failed move to TX
rent is coming up and I am doomed... Feeling very depressed... Wondering what it would be like to be DEAD and FAMOUS.
10am finally sleep...
4pm I wake up to check my email from my website... and as usual people who like my work send comments... then I read this
"WOW Your art is beautiful and really unique compared to anything I have seen. Good luck and keep doing what your doing. The only thing is that you know that most artist don`t get famous until after they die."
WTF why did this person send me this note at this time....? GOD hates me
I took my anger out on 2 paintings today... old canvas paintings I did not like much...
(or did I?)
Could not break my Oil Pastel on Board work... Kicked them Stomped them...
but that damn black Industrial Foam Board I used just laughed at me... I need a fucking Hammer. I have a room full of art around me while sleeping on the carpet - no furniture
If I only had a Hammer...
now just trying to find distractions on GAF and the web... can't sleep
