Support NeoGAF

[Wildebeest]

You also saw the Neo Genesis Evangelion series... It's just that they said it once in an episode.

Surely watching Eva is the best way to understand how men think.

 

[nush]

OP needs to sleep with this guys dad. That'll show him.

 

[Ailynn]

This guy sounds like he's got all the emotional intelligence of a gym bag full of old damp sweatsocks.

He's abusive and wrong...and certainly doesn't deserve any of your time or worry, pleaseinsertdisctwo . Cut him out of your life, as well as anyone else who abuses you in any way. You deserve happiness where you can find it.

 

[Dirk Benedict]

Who cares what he thinks? Stop giving a shit about the stupid things people say and live life to the fullest.

 

[John Bilbo]

Consider to stop taking rides from him and try to take care of your emotional needs with someone you trust.

 

[EverydayBeast]

AgreedCommunication is critical to any relationship.

 

[Biff]

OP, how would you rate both your attractiveness and his attractiveness on a scale of 1-10?

Are either of you clearly out of each other's league?

If not, then it is plainly obvious that he likes you but thinks he has been friend-zoned (lol) and is either angry at you and/or trying some cringelord pick-up artist shit he learned on Youtube. If you are attracted to him, then the choice of what to do is up to you. If you are not attracted to him, you need to cut this loser off and never speak to him again. Trying to stay "friends" with him won't work.

 

[nush]

There’s this guy who’s a friend I guess (not really).

Right off the bat, what you have here is an undefined relationship. Let's see how this works out.

He works at a cafe I frequent. I’ve “known” him since like a year ago but we got on a first name basis like 5 months ago.

So we've moved up to regular customer first name basis. So far so normal.

I think around late July, my car stopped working and I had no car for about 4ish weeks. During these weeks when I’d go to this cafe and he was working,

No car, but you're still able to get to the Cafe and anywhere else you need to go I assume.

he would offer me rides home even though that was completely unnecessary (I chose to go there, after all). I do mean it btw I NEVER asked him;

So, the response should be "No thanks, I can get around by myself but thanks for the kind gesture".

he would either offer, or just pass by my table and say “I’m taking you home.” I would say he gave me rides home like 7(?) times.

You've taken so many "unnecessary" rides from this guy he's now comfortable assuming you will go with him now "I'm taking you home". You accept.

My house was only 5-6 mins away but it was still a nice gesture.

You don't need the ride but keep taking them, I'm putting good money down that "7" is a lowball number for the number of rides you've unnecessarily accepted.

I will also say that HE is the one that brought up exchanging numbers and HE added me on IG.

Yes dear, you know how dating works right? Men have to make the approach, it's perfectly NORMAL that he would bring up exchanging numbers. Again you accepted and in fact seem quite happy calling texting each other. Nobody made you add him to your insta, you can block/reject.

Anyways. On the night of the last time he dropped me off, everything seemed normal. I was waiting for him to close.

When was this? * You are now waiting for a completely unnecessary ride because your only house is only *Checks notes* 5-6 minutes away.

*Because by my calculations if you only needed a lift for four-ish weeks so you would no longer have needed rides past "Late July + 4-ish = Early September". You know it's now November, so this story either happened in September and you've been butthurt about it enough to make a topic about it in November or nether you or he have still defined the relationship but you're taking his rides texting/calling each other.

We were just on our phones and then he randomly said “you know, you’re funny looking.” This was a week after I told him that I’m insecure about my face (and I only divulged this information because for like a week he kept asking me why I’m not dating, that he wants to set me up with a nice Mexican man, next day he’d say he wants to set me up with a nice Jewish man, etc.) and I want to get plastic surgery for a couple of things. So this comment hurt.

He was very combative the whole night. Then when a couple of his coworkers came towards us he was like “hey I was just calling pleaseinsertdisctwo funny looking for the past 15 minutes” and then was like “yeah we can’t hang if you can’t handle my dark humor.” He was wording it as if it was a truth I needed to accept, and that’s why it’s “dark” humor.

I honestly thought I did something wrong. Otherwise why else did he randomly start acting this way?

I tried to text him about it, even though at this point it’s been a while since that night. It’s kind of been a back and forth of me not talking to him and him not really talking to me and I can tell that we’ve been passive aggressive.

I worded my text like I may have done something wrong and he was acting that way out of retaliation because I thought that that WAS the most likely scenario. I told him that I just want to understand why he was acting that way (I have yet to specify which night I was talking about, or the comments he made), and that I’m not going to attack him or ask for an apology.

He apologized and said that he is sorry if he hurt me in any way, he has “very dark humor” towards people he actually likes, and that he’ll never joke that way with me again.

On that night I know for a fact that he saw that I was upset, and he kept going and going. Not once did he clarify that he didn’t mean what he said. If anything he was basically saying that he’s just being honest and that I need to accept the truth, like I already said.

Call me insecure, neurotic, and high maintenance, but how is randomly calling someone “funny looking,” especially when they told you that they’re insecure about their face because you kept pestering them about dating people, dark humor? Where is the joke? I want to accept his apology especially since I didn’t ask for one but I can’t. It’s been over a day since his apology but I have yet to reply because I don’t want to seem insane or overly angry but I think his “dark humor” excuse is BS.

Kings, please let me know. Because I’ve never had someone act this way with me.

All of this drama about you funny nose, the pair of you both being passive aggressive was avoidable. He should have made his intentions clear and asked you out on a date months ago, accepted your reply and moved on. You should have defined the relationship months ago "We're just friends, nothings going to happen" instead of taking rides, hanging out texting calling while talking about being single. If you enable a "Nice guy" then you get "Nice guy" behavior becuse he's still loading you up with kindness coins waiting for the pussy payout.

 

[Days like these...]

Bro, the penis is not going to be worth the trouble with this guy. Find someone else.

 

[-Minsc-]

“yeah we can’t hang if you can’t handle my dark humor.”

It is completely unnecessary for you to know the answer to the question in the thread title.

He set out a boundary so you can set yours. No need to keep hanging out with a guy who has a sense of humour that doesn't mix with your personality. What boundaries do you want to set? Set them.

It's up to you how much you want to keep interacting with this guy. In my mind, if you wanted to tolerate him you wouldn't have made this thread. Though, that's only in my mind. I'm not in yours.

 

[Nico_D]

Some people just lack emotional intelligence. (or whatever the fuck it's called)

Don't let his lame "joke" bother you.

Probably exactly this. He slipped up, noticed it, got defensive and that's about. People stuff. Happens. That defensive phase is just waste of time and always frustrating and pretty obvious for anyone looking at it from sides - but it is also so very human.

 

[bitbydeath]

There’s no easy way to say this, some here are playing coy, or choose to forget, but boys are dumb. They say stupid things, basically throwing shit at a wall and seeing what sticks. Most here have done the same or worse that they’ve already kicked themselves over.

It sounds like he likes you, he “should” mature in time (or not! Ha), the question is do you like him as a friend or want something more?

Shut it down or build it up, the ball is in your court.

 

[Amory]

YOU CANNOT HANDLE MY DARK HUMOR

He’s trying to bang you

 

[NahaNago]

I just don't know on this one. I'd have to know both of you better to be able to understand what is going on. It honestly could just have been dark humor. I know I've joked with folks who took it the wrong way badly and learned to never mess/joke around them ever again. My first thought was he was joking or possibly flirting with you. I think you trying to understand why he was acting that way should be a red flag for him. I'd say just stop interacting with him and move on. It will save you both from a bunch of grief.

 

[GermanZepp]

He wants your booty. EDIT: Or maybe to get sucked in the car.

 

[Peggies]

Right off the bat, what you have here is an undefined relationship. Let's see how this works out.



So we've moved up to regular customer first name basis. So far so normal.



No car, but you're still able to get to the Cafe and anywhere else you need to go I assume.



So, the response should be "No thanks, I can get around by myself but thanks for the kind gesture".



You've taken so many "unnecessary" rides from this guy he's now comfortable assuming you will go with him now "I'm taking you home". You accept.



You don't need the ride but keep taking them, I'm putting good money down that "7" is a lowball number for the number of rides you've unnecessarily accepted.



Yes dear, you know how dating works right? Men have to make the approach, it's perfectly NORMAL that he would bring up exchanging numbers. Again you accepted and in fact seem quite happy calling texting each other. Nobody made you add him to your insta, you can block/reject.



When was this? * You are now waiting for a completely unnecessary ride because your only house is only *Checks notes* 5-6 minutes away.

*Because by my calculations if you only needed a lift for four-ish weeks so you would no longer have needed rides past "Late July + 4-ish = Early September". You know it's now November, so this story either happened in September and you've been butthurt about it enough to make a topic about it in November or nether you or he have still defined the relationship but you're taking his rides texting/calling each other.

All of this drama about you funny nose, the pair of you both being passive aggressive was avoidable. He should have made his intentions clear and asked you out on a date months ago, accepted your reply and moved on. You should have defined the relationship months ago "We're just friends, nothings going to happen" instead of taking rides, hanging out texting calling while talking about being single. If you enable a "Nice guy" then you get "Nice guy" behavior becuse he's still loading you up with kindness coins waiting for the pussy payout.

 

[TheDreadBaron]

What everyone else said, and also he thought that by just being a nice guy and getting to know you something might develop, he’s too afraid to get rejected by a pretty girl he likes so he’s not gonna make a move, but he was hoping you might start to like him and you’d appreciate his special dark sense of humor. It sounds like no, he’s just a ride machine, and he’s starting to get pissy at you for taking advantage of his nice guyness without wanting to be his girlfriend in return. Don’t accept favors from nice guys, it’s a trap.

Almost forgot,
Source: I was a nice guy

 

[Bragr]

There’s no easy way to say this, some here are playing coy, or choose to forget, but boys are dumb. They say stupid things, basically throwing shit at a wall and seeing what sticks.

Girls are the same. We are all idiots.

 

[jufonuk]

Girls are the same. We are all idiots.

 

[NinjaBoiX]

Dude sounds creepy as all shit.

Avoid him at all costs from now on.

Nothing of value will be lost.

 

[Krathoon]

He is messing with you. Some people are obnoxious. It depends if you want to put up with it.

I had this obnoxious friend back in college that I got tired off.

 

[StueyDuck]

Sounds like sexual tension the thread.

Just whip out the dick and get it over with. You'll probably never see each other again after that anyway.

 

[RavageX]

Its been a while cause' this was an old topic. Rumor has it that they ran away to Vegas and got hitched.

 

[Krathoon]

This other forum I go to really pushes it's luck sometimes. It is getting as bad as Resetera.

They are just so damn woke.

 

[FullMetalx117]

I wonder if op and barista ended up in a relationship

 

[Mossybrew]

Why the hell was this weirdass thread necro'd up.

 

[Azurro]

wtf...why was this bumped? And I still don't know if pleaseinsertdisctwo ever clarified if he/she is a man or a woman.

 

[jufonuk]

What happened now ?

 

[Lord Panda]

This other forum I go to really pushes it's luck sometimes. It is getting as bad as Resetera.

They are just so damn woke.

Which other forum is this? Anyway yeah I wonder whatever happened to the op pleaseinsertdisctwo ... Torrid whirlwind romance or someone got punched in the face?

 

[RJMacready73]

There’s this guy who’s a friend I guess (not really). He works at a cafe I frequent. I’ve “known” him since like a year ago but we got on a first name basis like 5 months ago. I think around late July, my car stopped working and I had no car for about 4ish weeks. During these weeks when I’d go to this cafe and he was working, he would offer me rides home even though that was completely unnecessary (I chose to go there, after all). I do mean it btw I NEVER asked him; he would either offer, or just pass by my table and say “I’m taking you home.” I would say he gave me rides home like 7(?) times. My house was only 5-6 mins away but it was still a nice gesture. I will also say that HE is the one that brought up exchanging numbers and HE added me on IG.

Anyways. On the night of the last time he dropped me off, everything seemed normal. I was waiting for him to close. He closed earlier than his coworkers so he was sitting and waiting for them.

We were just on our phones and then he randomly said “you know, you’re funny looking.” This was a week after I told him that I’m insecure about my face (and I only divulged this information because for like a week he kept asking me why I’m not dating, that he wants to set me up with a nice Mexican man, next day he’d say he wants to set me up with a nice Jewish man, etc.) and I want to get plastic surgery for a couple of things. So this comment hurt.

He was very combative the whole night. Then when a couple of his coworkers came towards us he was like “hey I was just calling pleaseinsertdisctwo funny looking for the past 15 minutes” and then was like “yeah we can’t hang if you can’t handle my dark humor.” He was wording it as if it was a truth I needed to accept, and that’s why it’s “dark” humor.

I honestly thought I did something wrong. Otherwise why else did he randomly start acting this way?

I tried to text him about it, even though at this point it’s been a while since that night. It’s kind of been a back and forth of me not talking to him and him not really talking to me and I can tell that we’ve been passive aggressive.

I worded my text like I may have done something wrong and he was acting that way out of retaliation because I thought that that WAS the most likely scenario. I told him that I just want to understand why he was acting that way (I have yet to specify which night I was talking about, or the comments he made), and that I’m not going to attack him or ask for an apology.

He apologized and said that he is sorry if he hurt me in any way, he has “very dark humor” towards people he actually likes, and that he’ll never joke that way with me again.

On that night I know for a fact that he saw that I was upset, and he kept going and going. Not once did he clarify that he didn’t mean what he said. If anything he was basically saying that he’s just being honest and that I need to accept the truth, like I already said.

Call me insecure, neurotic, and high maintenance, but how is randomly calling someone “funny looking,” especially when they told you that they’re insecure about their face because you kept pestering them about dating people, dark humor? Where is the joke? I want to accept his apology especially since I didn’t ask for one but I can’t. It’s been over a day since his apology but I have yet to reply because I don’t want to seem insane or overly angry but I think his “dark humor” excuse is BS.

Kings, please let me know. Because I’ve never had someone act this way with me.

Drop that fucker quicker than a bud lite at a dude bro BBQ. You don't ever call a woman "funny looking" not even if you've known her for years. Sounds like a complete immature dick tbf

 

[Mr Reasonable]

wtf...why was this bumped? And I still don't know if pleaseinsertdisctwo ever clarified if he/she is a man or a woman.

Sort of doesn't matter unless you start asking about their sexuality as well.

 

[Tams]

This other forum I go to really pushes it's luck sometimes. It is getting as bad as Resetera.

They are just so damn woke.

Bad necro.

 

[sono]

Guys sounds like an insensitive idiot. There are some thing you just dont say even if you think that. (not saying he was right in his opinion either way). The fact that he did means you should treat him as though he has the emotional intelligence of a child.

Btw your story reminded me of something.

When I was much younger I took a train ride to station by reason I was visiting my sister who lives 20 minutes walk from the destination station.

I had had a small suitcase and a couple of bags as I was staying over. It was a very hot day and the walk from the station was a bit of an effort. Anyway as I was walking 5 mins from the station to her house a guy in a posh Jaguar car puled up and offered me a lift..

As I was young and naïve I said yes. He took me to my sisters house no problem. When I told my sister she was shocked I took the lift. I am shocked when I reflect upon it now, but perhaps better times.

Anyway. back on topic!

 

[L*][*N*K]

Because he is an asshole, that is why.

 

[Tams]

Guys sounds like an insensitive idiot. There are some thing you just dont say even if you think that. (not saying he was right in his opinion either way). The fact that he did means you should treat him as though he has the emotional intelligence of a child.

Btw your story reminded me of something.

When I was much younger I took a train ride to station by reason I was visiting my sister who lives 20 minutes walk from the destination station.

I had had a small suitcase and a couple of bags as I was staying over. It was a very hot day and the walk from the station was a bit of an effort. Anyway as I was walking 5 mins from the station to her house a guy in a posh Jaguar car puled up and offered me a lift..

As I was young and naïve I said yes. He took me to my sisters house no problem. When I told my sister she was shocked I took the lift. I am shocked when I reflect upon it now, but perhaps better times.

Anyway. back on topic!

I mean, we might as well shift the topic.

I do somewhat lament the 'simpler' times, but also back then a lot was brushed under the carpet.

I've wanted to give lifts to people a lot, but in this day and age I'm not comfortable doing so.

When I was a teacher I sometimes passed students as they slugged to/from school in pretty unpleasant weather. I really wanted to give them lifts, but didn't for obvious reasons.

It was more lax when I was a student, but then there were stories of teachers with 'love vans' and shit like that.

So perhaps we are better off on the whole these days, but the sense of community feels weaker.

 

[ahtlas7]

Firstly I like to be called king so thank you. This could happen more often around here.
2ly You asked him and he told you. No one here can know better than this dude so you have your answer. Also, everyone is funny looking sometimes.

 

[THE DUCK]

One person's funny looking is another's beautiful. I can tell you with 99.9% certainty that most others see you as much better looking than you do, we are all overly critical of ourselves.