I asked the girl who I was seeing about twice a week, for two months, to define the relationship. Mostly because I was about to travel on vacation alone and felt guilty at the idea of using Tinder. She then revealed that she was in an open relationship with a guy she lived with.
Online dating was a mistake.
So crazy - I'm cool with people having open relationships, although they aren't for me, but I think people should be open about that stuff. That's the kind of thing you tell a person before the first date. And once I said I was no longer interested she began to
go cray. I'm both bummed out, because I really liked her, and really perplexed that I dated someone for two months without knowing a whole other side to them. I guess another thing to keep an eye out for?
Reinstalled my apps and have a couple of dates lined up. But between that and my previous long term tinderella disaster, I'm thinking maybe I should join a church or activity group to meet a woman the old fashion way. It feels like the internet fosters sociopathic tendencies.
Could be worse:
Woman ends Tinder date stuck in window trying to grab her own poop
While it's great that you have things lined up to keep you occupied, it won't solve your dry spell! Maybe try remaking your OKC from scratch with a fresh account, mix up your pics and try to pepper in some dates into your schedule. If only to make sure you don't lose your groove.
I was wondering why you were so happy on the trip. I hate to say I told you so but I told so! ;p If it's one thing I've learned from online dating, it's to never get my eggs in one basket even when the dates have been going quite well. Call me cynical but my gut is always right when a girl digs me a lot but it seems too good to be true because it fizzles out soon.
It sounds like she took me much worse than you did after you decided to annul it with her. At least she revealed it before you went off on gormandizing mid west adventures but that's still messed up on her part for not revealing it sooner. Had you not told her to define the relationship, it could have gone on for several months with her staying mum. Until one day the sitcom moment were to hit: she would take you to her place and introduce you to her boyfriend who was totally cool with you sleeping together.
It reminds me of the movie I saw last month, Beach Rats where the main character hooked up with a girl that he met through hanging out with a group of bro dudes that were his homeboys. However, he led a double life and hooked up with dudes from a local live cam website. He struggled to come to terms with his sexuality and didn't outright mention to his friend nor the girl that he saw that he was bisexual. It was a really good film.
That read like an Onion article but then again, the source was one of Rupert Murdoch's publications so sensationalism was in full swing. It was still a pretty entertaining read. What I learned from the thread:
FZZ said:
You haven't experienced the real realities and horrors of sex unless you've fucked a girl right after she's taken a fresh dump
hitting that shit from the back and getting a whiff of their poo is some disgusting carnal shit only real ones have experienced
JigglesBunny said:
Had this happen with my first girlfriend. Damn near ripped my business off at the base and shoved screwdrivers up my nostrils just to stop the stank.
Now my fiancé and I have an unspoken buffer period between her "movements" and our alone time.
An NYC woman told a story on Risk! (the storytelling podcast) in which she hooked up with this guy from Tinder. Apparently, she got the idea to order some burritos to eat before they had sex. As he was banging her from behind, her bowels decided to move and...yeah there was poop all over the place. Long story short, the guy was totally cool about it, they went out for the brunch the next day, and the relationship would end up lasting several months. The takeaway? Burritos and chill is a bad idea.
As for your reply, I thought about deleting my OKC profile and rebooting it but then I would hate to lose my Moderator status and 2000+ questions answered. Not that I care about it because being a mod is nothing special and I only check it once in a while so I won't rule it out.
I might delete my CMB/Tinder and start anew because I haven't gotten a date from the former in 2 months; the latter has been giving me diminishing returns. I think there's too many attention whores on Tinder looking for Instagram followers or shamelessly plug their website.I agree though. I notice that whenever I take from dating, it takes me a couple of dates to get into a groove again because I forget how to flirt. I do it subconsciously if I'm volunteering at an event but not actively. I think I definitely need some need pics and need to revamp my bio a bit. Getting a haircut is a matter of when not if.
I was alma mater last night scanning a bunch of drawings and watercolor paintings at the library and good lord! The girls were attractive. That's the one thing I miss about being in college: how easy it is to talk to girls because they are everywhere. I wish there was a Tinder type app specifically for dating girls from one's college/alma mater.
Unless I meet a girl that I volunteer with that I hit it off with, attend a sketch night again, or meet a girl who's an artsy, hippie type, I'll be celibate for another several months if I keep it up. There was one girl who visited my profile that lives in my neighborhood and wants to hit up the Brooklyn Botanic Garden so I might message her.
@Xun, the Tinder algorithm can shuffle your profile to the bottom of the deck based on a number of factors including idle activity, if you messaged the matches or not, etc. Since your profile is still fresh, I think it's waves thing so keep at it. Obviously it's more biased towards users who pay because they're more visible on more users.
