So I'm not entirely sure what compelled me to write it, but I just put up a kos diary about rollercoster of horrors that was the Bush administration combined with the "Hope and Change" surrounding Obama. Best seen, I guess, as a companion piece with
this rant I wrote last January here.
Anyways, it's kind of stupid and rambling, but figured you might enjoy, so I'll repost here. I'm too lazy to reformat, so you'll have to check
the original if you want functioning links and stuff (lot of good ones, a number of which I am sure Politigaf originally introduced me to.)
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Four years ago, I woke up early in the morning, and practically giddy, cast a vote for the first time ever. I still remember the how proud I felt. I remember the optimism. I remember how fondly I looked at my "Im a voter" sticker. And I remember believing that there was no way this country could vote for a morally bankrupt, anti-intellectual used car salesman who was systematically dismantling everything good about this country.
Eight years ago, I did not vote. I didnt like Lieberman running with Gore (even then!). I rationalized away how my one vote wouldnt make a difference. I still cheered when Florida was "called" for Gore. I could have claimed residence in Florida. This is a weight of shame Ive had to wear every day since. I didnt get any sleep, not that night.
Today, I learn my mother is delaying her retirement. My grandparents grow concerned about their health care costs. Friends worry about their jobs, we all worry about Iraq and one in four land mammals face extinction as gas and food prices clobber everyone.
Four years, three months ago, I got my first taste of hopium. I remember reading about the keynote speaker of the Democratic Convention earlier. I remember him sounding like someone to watch. So I watched. And I was reminded of everything I loved about this party. Everything good that government should be as an institution. I loved it, I think, for the same reason I watched so much West Wing in that time frame. The vision of good government was too soothing an opiate to resist when we were forced to live with the visceral torture of a world that thought George W Bush should be president.
Nine months ago, on the eve of the Iowa caucus, I wrote a scathingly bitter piece about how painful the electoral process is in this country, and about the USs seeming systemic resistance to good governance. That first dose of hopium, it seems, didnt quite stick.
Four years ago, after I cast that first ballot, I watched. I watched as Florida rapidly moved out of reach. I watched as incapable senile man won election to the United States Senate in Kentucky. I saw Daschle fall, the republican house majority expand, and Ohio slowly slip away. And chills went down my spine as I heard Ws promise to spend his political capital. But more than anything, I saw vindication. George W Bush and Dick Cheny systematically dismantled this country, and they were rewarded. They crippled the countrys ability to respond to a true threat, they raped the constitution. They transformed our economy into a sad, empty shell. And their solution was to run a campaign of transparent misinformation and fear. And it worked. It fucking worked. Not only was there to be no retribution, they were rewarded.
A beating like 2004 changes a person. I saw that in a number of ways. Some resolved to fight back harder, smarter. Some simply despaired. And as New Orleans fell, ethnic cleansing took place in Iraq, and the emptiness of the ownership society was exposed, its like the world was raining salt into that wound. 8 years under the Bush administration? Its tough to overcome the cynicism that will give you.
Im really not sure where exactly Obama won me over. It might be after Super Tuesday when his speeches slowly transformed from hope and change to hope and change and nerdy policy stuff. Maybe it was when his supporters talked me into finally reading his book. Possibly when I saw his legislative record in the senate and was surprisingly pleased. I guess the exact time doesnt matter. Eventually, I was his.
When I think about the problems this country face, the problems seem so overwhelming and severe that something I just want to scream, or rail hopelessly that we not only wasted eight years but spent them running backwards. Working people as a share of the population will shrink, and burdens will grow. Our infrastructure, from bridges to water pipes, crumbles. Oil and raw materials slowly price themselves out of reach, and the threat of environmental catastrophe continues to creep closer by the minute. Health care burdens keep growing, even as the system is so poorly structured that preventative care and the long term view arent even considered. Our country grows dumber as the world surrounding us grown less competitive. And the current financial shitstorm and size of our debt are so significant that we have more blanks than bullets in the chamber.
No matter how bad things were in 2004, Im not going to forget that no matter how bad things got then, there remained that stood outone significant hope. And no matter how bad I might fear the problems down the road are, there is one hope that persists:
That if I could pick anyone to lead now, it would be someone who is already thinking about how to address the seriousness of these problems, and who does it with a respect for the intellectual weight they carry. Id want him to be able to find common ground to yield practical results. Id want him to demonstrate effective managerial skill. Id want him to have an electoral landslide, a huge majority in the house, and a filibuster-proof senate, so that theres a legitimate chance of actually being effective.
And now, with one crisis already here and so many others lurking in the shadows, is the time history will judge us. Now is the time we can salvage whatever we can from the situation or walk along the same path, and into ruin. George W Bush may escape any formal calls for justice, but I can think of no sweeter justice than teaching him and the lunatics who supported him exactly what the word "mandate" actually means no greater pleasure than showing him a true liberal platform after his agenda failed so miserably.