So what are some good openers on dating apps? I get decent matches but (very) little answers.
And even when I manage to get a girl talking, it seems difficult to actually get a date out of it. I swear some of them want to chat for weeks first. Makes me think I need to adjust my approach.
The text conversations are not an investment of interest. It's on you to be proactive and ask for a date within a week. That's it, ask for a date, if she avoids that ask 2 times block and delete because your setting yourself up to just be a texting buddy. Online dating favours the confident and assertive people.
So what are some good openers on dating apps? I get decent matches but (very) little answers.
And even when I manage to get a girl talking, it seems difficult to actually get a date out of it. I swear some of them want to chat for weeks first. Makes me think I need to adjust my approach.
Honestly, for me it was a total numbers game. Only about 10-25% of my matches led to conversations and/or dates depending on how lucky I was at any given time.
If I matched with 20 girls one week, it probably only went somewhere with 3-5 of them.
And the hottest of the hot girls... the model-types who belong on magazine covers... the rate was much much lower. They barely talk.
I went on a few dates like that last year where I would make out with them but then I would either ghost them or they ghosted me. There was one particular girl that I went out with where we played got drinks, played Pokemon Go when it was all the rage in a park, great chemistry, mutual love of creating art/painting, nerdy about the things that she loved and art, lived in my neighborhood (always a huge plus), and we had some great make out sessions. She ticked everything I like in a woman.
I followed up with her that night asking her out again then she hit me that planned to get back with her ex. Here's the kicker: a week later or so after unmatching her, she's back in my match rotation on Tinder (we met via Tinder) so she lied to me. The blessing/curse of SMS is that it's an ambiguous medium; one takes everything at face value so unlike talking on the phone, it's not nuanced. Any way, on the to the next one man and keep your head up.
LOL, I can understand. I'm buzzed AF ATM. But I'm trying my best not worry about relationships, even though I'm very much a virgin. A year ago, I was afraid of driving, and would never drive again. Now, I have a license with a car in my name. So, if I can conqueror/destroy that fear, to the point where driving is BORING now, I can do ANYTHING if I put my mind to it. Same for you, or anyone else.
As a late bloomer who lost his virginity at 26 (I'm almost 30 now), this is a great mindset to have. One of my closest friends is afraid of driving on highways for some odd reason so one day I think he's going to have to say fuck it and overcome that anticipatory fear.
I can tell you that it wasn't a big deal for me to lose my virginity because I didn't suddenly discover the meaning of life. However, my experience was good compared to many people's first time experiences. The kicker was that my brother noticed that there was something different about me when I came home the next day because I was so relaxed. When he asked if I had sex, I laughed for a good while before I said yes. So yeah, the post-coitus afterglow feels great.
Although having sore inner thighs does not.
It remains to be seen if my hail mary's are/will be successful but I sure as hell got a bunch of visitors to my profile from swiping right too much on Quick Match/Doubletake as it's known as these days. A little less conversation, a little more action goes a long way in online dating. Any way good luck out there man. If I did it, then so can you but yeah, being a virgin in your twenties isn't a big deal at all.
Dawg said:
So what are some good openers on dating apps? I get decent matches but (very) little answers.
And even when I manage to get a girl talking, it seems difficult to actually get a date out of it. I swear some of them want to chat for weeks first. Makes me think I need to adjust my approach.
Basically everything that LookAtMeGo said. I usually ask something based on their profile or pic and in the off chance that I'm running out of ideas, I shoot out random questions such as Who would win in an arm wrestling match Godzilla or Obama. Some girls will respond to messages instantly in which case, you have to move quickly and get the number within a few exchanges to set up a date; other will respond across a few days.
I think in the event that the conversation is starting to fizzle or there's too much back and forth, just offer your number and suggest getting drinks/going somewhere when the girl is free. The sooner you take it offline, the better your chances of getting a date because otherwise, you're just another guy from the internet. The shotgun works wonders (messaging at least 20 women a day).
SCENARIO: You encounter a coworker or something equivalent ("not a good idea to date") in a swipe-based dating site, but you'd otherwise be interested.
SCENARIO: You encounter a coworker or something equivalent ("not a good idea to date") in a swipe-based dating site, but you'd otherwise be interested.
SCENARIO: You encounter a coworker or something equivalent ("not a good idea to date") in a swipe-based dating site, but you'd otherwise be interested.
SCENARIO: You encounter a coworker or something equivalent ("not a good idea to date") in a swipe-based dating site, but you'd otherwise be interested.
SCENARIO: You encounter a coworker or something equivalent ("not a good idea to date") in a swipe-based dating site, but you'd otherwise be interested.
One thing that always boggles my mind with this answer: But it's okay to date people in University who will visit the same courses as you for at least 3 years?
And I know a lot of people who are in relationships with their coworker. They probably did something wrong *shrug*
DISCLAIMER: Talking about real relationships. Casual hook ups are a different kind of story.
One thing that always boggles my mind with this answer: But it's okay to date people in University who will visit the same courses as you for at least 3 years?
One thing that always boggles my mind with this answer: But it's okay to date people in University who will visit the same courses as you for at least 3 years?
And I know a lot of people who are in relationships with their coworker. They probably did something wrong *shrug*
Yeah, I agree that it is somewhat contradictory, but the upside is that in undergrad, you're probably only going to have ~2-3 hours of classes a week with somebody in the future, even if they are in the same major/year combo as you, or something.
Grad school programs are different though, as people essentially live at their departments, other than sleeping.
Actually, not directly, but yeah, it was a key element to this.
It's not like your boss will show up the moment you ask a coworker out and will tell you to get your stuff and get the fuck out. If you don't sit in the same room all day and work in different departments, it shouldn't be hard for you to avoid him/her, if you really have to.
Edit: I spent more hours with the people in University in one room (probably 6 to 8 hours a day) than with all the people who I work with. Mind that I'm in Germany and it may differ from the US experience.
SCENARIO: You encounter a coworker or something equivalent ("not a good idea to date") in a swipe-based dating site, but you'd otherwise be interested.
I don't think I'm really cut out to date multiple people to be honest, even if the experience is good for me.
Myself and the girl tonight kissed and I'm feeling insanely confused, especially since I have feelings for the Romanian girl.
I suppose I'm partially keeping my options open in case things don't work out with the Romanian girl, but it's proving more difficult to mentally juggle than I had anticipated...
Matched with a cute asian chick on tinder this morning.
Was talking about cooking and she made fun of how 'white' my meals were lmao.
Invited her to come around and join for my white meal tonight but she has work 5-11, so she invited me to come gym with her now.
Showing off my skinny, uncoordinated self at the gym is not the best approach I think so I'll pass.
But yeah she seems keen so here's hoping I can get a date with her and she doesn't flake.
Matched with a cute asian chick on tinder this morning.
Was talking about cooking and she made fun of how 'white' my meals were lmao.
Invited her to come around and join for my white meal tonight but she has work 5-11, so she invited me to come gym with her now.
Showing off my skinny, uncoordinated self at the gym is not the best approach I think so I'll pass.
But yeah she seems keen so here's hoping I can get a date with her and she doesn't flake.
Don't retcon man. You didn't go becuse you didn't have workout clothes when all you needed to do was pick some up from a store on the way to her gym. He's not going becuse it would be a bad first impression.
Matched with a cute asian chick on tinder this morning.
Was talking about cooking and she made fun of how 'white' my meals were lmao.
Invited her to come around and join for my white meal tonight but she has work 5-11, so she invited me to come gym with her now. Showing off my skinny, uncoordinated self at the gym is not the best approach I think so I'll pass.
But yeah she seems keen so here's hoping I can get a date with her and she doesn't flake.
Hey guys, I guess it is time I reached out for some help.
I want to start dating and have never really been "in the game per se". I want to start using Bumble, okcupid, plentyoffish, etc, but I keep running into an issue, and it's that I don't feel like my profile/photo set is any good. I'm not very photogenic, so I'm having difficulty figuring out how to present myself.
Has anyone else been in this situation, and what did you do to solve it?
Hey guys, I guess it is time I reached out for some help.
I want to start dating and have never really been "in the game per se". I want to start using Bumble, okcupid, plentyoffish, etc, but I keep running into an issue, and it's that I don't feel like my profile/photo set is any good. I'm not very photogenic, so I'm having difficulty figuring out how to present myself.
Has anyone else been in this situation, and what did you do to solve it?
The simplest thing you can do is post some pics here and get feedback on them. Your issues could range from lack of fashion, lack of body definition, to a lack of self-confidence.
If you're not willing to do that....read the OP's entry on fashion. Go to the gym. Find a barber, get a spiffy haircut. Take hundreds of pics, use only the very best ones.
So I matched with a girl on Bumble. As you may know, the girl has to message first. So, the first thing she says to me is I misspelled a word in my profile text.
Hey guys, I guess it is time I reached out for some help.
I want to start dating and have never really been "in the game per se". I want to start using Bumble, okcupid, plentyoffish, etc, but I keep running into an issue, and it's that I don't feel like my profile/photo set is any good. I'm not very photogenic, so I'm having difficulty figuring out how to present myself.
Has anyone else been in this situation, and what did you do to solve it?
So I matched with a girl on Bumble. As you may know, the girl has to message first. So, the first thing she says to me is I misspelled a word in my profile text.
If you are in grad school you very likely do not have 3 classes with the exact same classmates. Depending on the area of study you probably arent even taking classes. And there is a difference between I go to school and they pay me and I go to work and I can be disposed of if I poison company culture.
Actually, not directly, but yeah, it was a key element to this.
It's not like your boss will show up the moment you ask a coworker out and will tell you to get your stuff and get the fuck out. If you don't sit in the same room all day and work in different departments, it shouldn't be hard for you to avoid him/her, if you really have to.
Edit: I spent more hours with the people in University in one room (probably 6 to 8 hours a day) than with all the people who I work with. Mind that I'm in Germany and it may differ from the US experience.
In school you can just exercise the option to not work with others during class. You aint gotta talk to them, you aint gotta sit by them, you aint gotta partner with them. This applies largely to undergrad where you are more likely to take repeat classes with people (and its even rare there too). It also doesn't literally sustain you. If you poison your life support well over infatuation yous a damn fool. If you are a grad student working on a research project and you are shitting that close to your project you are mega fucking stupid.
So I matched with a girl on Bumble. As you may know, the girl has to message first. So, the first thing she says to me is I misspelled a word in my profile text.
So I matched with a girl on Bumble. As you may know, the girl has to message first. So, the first thing she says to me is I misspelled a word in my profile text.
i think you're single because you're a cute lil sour bear ;D
what the above guys said, just laugh it off and make a joke out of it. You kinda took the immature route. LEARN TO LAUGH AT YOURSELF OR YOU WILL NOT SUCCEED SOCIALLY.
SmackDaddy dating update: I take dating too seriously right now, and I get very negative emotional responses from someone denying, ghosting, etc. I'm gonna set out for the next month trying to meet new people and refocus on what I want to be moving forward. I wanna make friends with some girls and not just look to all of them like potential dates. I'm chatting to a few friends of friends in other cities who know I'm single, maybe my next vacation will be fruitful when I meet them.
i think you're single because you're a cute lil sour bear ;D
what the above guys said, just laugh it off and make a joke out of it. You kinda took the immature route. LEARN TO LAUGH AT YOURSELF OR YOU WILL NOT SUCCEED SOCIALLY.
SmackDaddy dating update: I take dating too seriously right now, and I get very negative emotional responses from someone denying, ghosting, etc. I'm gonna set out for the next month trying to meet new people and refocus on what I want to be moving forward. I wanna make friends with some girls and not just look to all of them like potential dates. I'm chatting to a few friends of friends in other cities who know I'm single, maybe my next vacation will be fruitful when I meet them.
I admit I took the immature route. On the other hand the first message and only message to me is "... isn't it spelled <X>?" is all you can muster. Why should I put the effort into attempting to spin it into a joke when she can't put the effort into forming a sentence with more than 4 words. Also I admit its the ... and lack of a wink or something at the end that pissed me off about it. Sure, point out my spelling mistake. But lets be light hearted about it at least. Her message came off as critical and a bit snobbish to me. And thats why I unmatched.
I admit I took the immature route. On the other hand the first message and only message to me is "... isn't it spelled <X>?" is all you can muster. Why should I put the effort into attempting to spin it into a joke when she can't put the effort into forming a sentence with more than 4 words. Also I admit its the ... and lack of a wink or something at the end that pissed me off about it. Sure, point out my spelling mistake. But lets be light hearted about it at least. Her message came off as critical and a bit snobbish to me. And thats why I unmatched.
I admit I took the immature route. On the other hand the first message and only message to me is "... isn't it spelled <X>?" is all you can muster. Why should I put the effort into attempting to spin it into a joke when she can't put the effort into forming a sentence with more than 4 words. Also I admit its the ... and lack of a wink or something at the end that pissed me off about it. Sure, point out my spelling mistake. But lets be light hearted about it at least. Her message came off as critical and a bit snobbish to me. And thats why I unmatched.
Don't you know that first messages should be something relating to your profile so that it shows you've actually read it? You are aware that it's way less likely for a woman to make 1st contact with a man? You blow that opertunity because your ego got in the way and she should have put "effort" into it because you're obviously such a great catch? Your response should have been something like "oh really, I didn't notice. Thanks for letting me know! So where are you from?" And then having a date this Saturday. Instead of that you'll be wondering on Friday night why your alone, blaming whatever for your lack of success in online dating.
Don't you know that first messages should be something relating to your profile so that it shows you've actually read it? You are aware that it's way less likely for a woman to make 1st contact with a man? You blow that opertunity because your ego got in the way and she should have put "effort" into it because you're obviously such a great catch? Your response should have been something like "oh really, I didn't notice. Thanks for letting me know! So where are you from?" And then having a date this Saturday. Instead of that you'll be wondering on Friday night why your alone, blaming whatever for your lack of success in online dating.
Never said I was a great catch. I don't even think it. I don't have to wonder why I'm alone - I've figured out most of the reasons out by now. Of which, all of them are my own shortcomings and things I am trying to improve. And I blame no one but myself.
But thanks for trying to put me into some sort of box that makes me feel bad.
If I had to do it over again, I'd still unmatch her. For an app that requires women to message first, I don't see cause to treat first messages from women on it as some sort of rare thing that should be treated with kid gloves.
Never said I was a great catch. I don't even think it. I don't have to wonder why I'm alone - I've figured out most of the reasons out by now. Of which, all of them are my own shortcomings and things I am trying to improve. And I blame no one but myself.
But thanks for trying to put me into some sort of box that makes me feel bad.
You're arrogant. Is the other way I could have phrased it. This response from you supports that. "Put you in a box"? Don't try and play the victim. Honestly, you're not ready mentally for dating right now.
Question guys, currently not really talking to anyone in particle, had a few girls very casual talk nothing at all. I'm 20 at the moment and just going with the flow of life but curious at what age did most of you guys or girls start to get more out there for dating or relationships?
It's a weird question I know but just curious since I broke up with my ex a year ago it's been slow for me on the meeting or dates side. I'm emotionally ready to move on but waiting till the next person comes into my life is always something on my mind. And id rather just let it happen then force anything.
Question guys, currently not really talking to anyone in particle, had a few girls very casual talk nothing at all. I'm 20 at the moment and just going with the flow of life but curious at what age did most of you guys or girls start to get more out there for dating or relationships?
It's a weird question I know but just curious since I broke up with my ex a year ago it's been slow for me on the meeting or dates side. I'm emotionally ready to move on but waiting till the next person comes into my life is always something on my mind. And id rather just let it happen then force anything.
Question guys, currently not really talking to anyone in particle, had a few girls very casual talk nothing at all. I'm 20 at the moment and just going with the flow of life but curious at what age did most of you guys or girls start to get more out there for dating or relationships?
It's a weird question I know but just curious since I broke up with my ex a year ago it's been slow for me on the meeting or dates side. I'm emotionally ready to move on but waiting till the next person comes into my life is always something on my mind. And id rather just let it happen then force anything.
I hit my groove in terms of success in my early 20's. It's a combination of things that make it happen though, not just age or maturity. Don't wait, be proactive and have an open mind. This is different from forcing it as you perceive it.
