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WCW Thunder 5/17/2000
Here is a recap of Nitro: Sid returned to SWERVE DDP, Horace SWERVED Hulk for that sweet Torrie pussy, Ric Flair won the world title.
Video recap of Nitro.
TO THE BACK. The New Blood ave arrived. In a school bus. Shane Douglas is taking roll call. They all start brawling with each other only for the MIA and MC to attack as well. Lol. Hogan almost hit Crush. Hogan steals the keys to the bus.
The MC and MIA head out the the ring with the NB school bus keys. YMCA, bros. Hogan says Shane can rip up the booking sheet, because the MC are booking the show now. This of course brings out the New Blood. Shane is wearing a sweet fanny pack. Hogan wants a rematch with Kidman at the GAB. With the stipulation that Hulk will get a title match in July. Kidman calls Hulk a mark. WHOREASS. Little nephew is going to get his ass kicked. Fuck, Jeff Jarrett is talking. Flair comes out and dives into the middle of the New Blood. The brawl continues on the stage.
TO THE BACK. The New Blood regroup and reorganize. Konnan is really bothered by Shane being the boss. The Filthy Animals are OUT. Well, not Kidman.
The Filthy Animals' shitty music plays for way too long. I think Disco is kind of replacing Kidman. Konnan calls out anyone from any side.
The Filthy Animals vs MIA.
This is in the Cajun Dome. Major Gunns does something, but we don't get to see it because TBS won't allow for any male/female violence. Van Hammer does a pretty sweet delayed vertical superplex to Juvi. Look. I like Rey, Juvi, and Disco. I do. But I hate Konnan and I really hate heel Filthy Animals. Entirely unenjoyable to me. Shawn Stasiak tries to sneak out, except his music hit, so that kind of defeated the purpose. He low bridges Chavo and a DQ is called. Booker comes out and makes the save. Major Gunns gives Chavo CPR. Because she has incredible lung capacity you see. Because giant tits.
TO THE BACK. The MC celebrate. DDP and Lex leave.
TO THE TAIL GATE PARTY.
TO THE BACK. Gene is with Booker and the MIA. FUBAR. You figure it out, bros.
Hulk Hogan vs WHOREASS Hogan.
Hulk calls WHOREASS out. Horace tries to take Torrie with him, but Kidman can't handle it. Torrie tries to convince him to chill out, Horace hits Billy and leaves with his woman. Horace looks as old as Hulk. I believe he was in his mid 30s at the time. Hulk gets the weightbelt out and takes nephew to school. Torrie gives Horace a kiss, which sends Kidman out in a rage. So, Kidman has transferred his feud to Horace now? Hulk hits Horace with a chair and hip tosses Kidman over the top through a table. Hulk pretended to hit Torrie, but kissed her instead. She liked it.
TO THE BACK. Lex is looking for the nearest gym.
TO THE GYM. Chuck Palumbo is working out when Lex walks in and finds him. Lex spots him, lets him finish his set, and then beats on him. He hits Chuck with a 40 pound plate that makes no noise when he throws it down and then pours a protein shake on the Main Event.
TO THE BACK. Norman and Ralphus are selling shirts outside of the arena from the back of a car.
Terry Funk vs The Cat WCW Hardcore Championship
Starts on the ramp, heads to the back. Did you know that The Artist has a son that wrestles in his promotion? Isn't that fucking weird? This is every WCW hardcore match. They brawl over to Norman's t-shirt stand. Terry Funk is an asshole and starts beating on Ralphus' car with a chair for no reason. Norman tries to sell Cat a shirt in the middle of the match. Norman hits Cat with a chair, which knocks him into the trunk of the car, where Funk pins him.
TO THE BACK. Mike Awesome is walking with a stretcher. Norman and Ralphus are arrested.
Mike Awesome vs Scott Steiner.
Awesome called out anyone. Steiner says his only alliance is to his freaks nation wide. Steiner basically man handles Awesome. Top rope lariattooooo. T-bone. The recliner is locked on and Goldberg's music hits. It's just Tank again. His Goldberg impression gets funnier each time, though. He gets more and more ridiculous with shaking his head and growling and stuff. Scott meets him head on on the ramp. Rick attacks. Awesome tries to attack, but gets drilled with a clothesline. Tank hits the KO punch. Goldberg's monster truck makes a run in. Scott throws Tank and Rick on top of the hood and the truck drives out of the arena. Mike Awesome gets in the ambulance and drives off. Scott Steiner wins.
TO THE TAIL GATE PARTY.
TO THE BACK. The New Blood are regrouping again. The Filthy Animals are back in the group I guess.
TO THE HOSPITAL. Tenay had an interview with Kanyon. He may never walk again.
TO THE BACK. More New Blood arguing. A phone call comes in. It's Kronik. They want a 3 way dance with Shane tonight. No one wants to team with Shane.
MOMENTS AGO. Kronik beats up Shane in the locker room.
Crush vs Wrath vs Shane Douglas.
Metldown. F5. The Wall comes out with a table and chokeslams Shane through it. High Times in the ring. Wrath wins.
TO THE BACK. Ric Flair is heading to the arena.
Ric Flair is out. He talks about his title win and has some words about Russo. He says no offense to Italians, and then does a stereotypical Italian accent about Vince's dad saying he had to be like Bruno until they got cable and Vince Russo turned into a Ric Flair mark. He could never be a wrestler, so he had to be a booker. Jeff comes out, calls Ric a deadbeat dad, and they brawl. Crowbar and David hit the ring. Arn Anderson hobbles to the ring with a pipe. Oh, that's not a pipe. It's a piece of wood. Hmm. Arn talks about how he's a wrestler. When he goes home and sees his son playing with matches on the floor, he whips his ass. Fuck the women's groups who get mad. Arn/Flair vs David/Jeff (I think) later tonight.
TO THE BACK. Vampiro is talking to himself with a Sting mask. He sets it on fire.
Sting is in the ring. He's pretty close to blowing a gasket and plans to take Vamp out for good tonight. Vamp is out on the ramp. He claims Sting doesn't have balls to cross the line. Excuse me, Steve. Vamp says they'll have an inferno match at the American Bash. Sting says that is stupid. Then the ring ropes are on fire.
TO THE BACK. Shane tells Jeff, Eric is going to be so pissed.
Ric Flair/Arn Anderson vs Jeff Jarret/David Flair
Arn was beaten in the back before he could make it out. Ric went to the back, but Jeff ambushed him on the stage. Jeff, David, and Crowbar are beating on Ric in the ring. David puts his dad in the figure four. Nash comes out. In the ring, Ric pins Daffney with a small package. Jeff hits Nash with a chair, but he gets right back up and chases him out. Ric Flair slumps in the corner and his helped out of the ring where he collapses on the ramp.
TO THE BACK. Jeff and Shane get in the school bus. But the rest of the MC and MIA tip the bus over. Goldberg's monster truck is heading toward the bus and....fade to black.