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WCW Monday Nitro 5/15/2000
Well, there is a cage around the ring, so I expect it to be used at least 3 times tonight.
Vampiro vs Sting Steel Cage House of Pain Match
Weird. Two shows in a row start out with wrestling matches? And a pretty big wrestling match at that? It is a cage with a roof with handcuffs in it. Vampiro won't let Sting in, so Sting climbs to the top and beats a panel loose with hit bat and jumps in. Stinger splash and a face buster. Vampiro turns things around by throwing Sting into the cage. Vamp is pretty much dominating Sting. Now he's working over the leg. Vamp just wants Sting to embrace the hate and the dark side. This is a lot better than the last 4 or 5 confrontations they've had since Vampiro actually is getting offense. Until he tried a diving rana and got caught in a powerbomb. Vampiro is handcuffed to the cage. Sting wins. Now he gets to beat on Vamp for a while. He doesn't do very much, though. A couple of Stinger splashes and a dropkick or two. Still, Vampiro is clearly not on Sting's level. The cage starts to rise with Vampiro still cuffed. The lights dim for a second and Sting lowers the cage back, but Vampiro is gone.
TO THE BACK. Wrath arrives. Shane Douglas slams the car trunk on his head while Wrath was getting his gear. The MIA have a meeting. Hugh renames everyone and introduces the new recruit: Major Gunns.
Kronik come out for a promo. Some weed references. So there are 3 guys with weed gimmicks right now in WCW. 4 if Buzzkill is still around. Crush calls Shane Douglas out.
Kronik vs Shane Douglas/The Wall Tag Team Tables match.
Buff is suspended. Oh man. Wall fell off the stage HARD. It was hilarious.
Douglas bailed about a minute in. Wall puts Wrath through a table. Crush tries to powerbomb Wall through a table, but gets backdropped. But Japanese table strikes, so he has to put Crush back on the table and do a splash off the apron. I think the Wall just cleanly and pretty easily beat Kronik in a handicap match. Kronik do High Times through the announce table. They roll Wall in and pin him. But I thought Shane said this was a table match. EMTs come for the Wall, but Wall gets up and throws them around. He chokeslams one of them through the table. I think it was Sonny Siaki.
TO THE BACK. Kim, Eric, and Disco are chatting. Disco wants to be with his friends, not with the Mamalukes. I think Kim and Eric are looking for an apartment. Cat brings Funk in the office. Eric again wants the Hardcore title back. Cat attacks Funk. Ralphus and Norman are digging through trash in the parking lot. Goldberg's monster truck is watching.
The Filthy Animals vs Terry Funk WCW Hardcore Championship
The Animals have new, even shittier music. Fuck. Cat beats Funk to the ring. Juicy Elbow with a chair on Funk's face. Then the rolling clothesline with a chair over Funk's face. Rey with a straight up Arabian facebuster.
The MIA hit the ring to save Funk. Disco runs out to attack the MIA. Because the Filthy Animals are his friends. Booker T comes out and takes out the Animals. Funk pins Juvi. Funk retains. The MIA bring out Major Gunns, who performs CPR to Funk.
TO THE BACK. Ric Flair arrives. Norman and Ralphus want to sell popcorn, complete with a 30s style popcorn machine boss. Ric Flair is in Eric's office. He says Eric gave his word that this stuff with Russo wouldn't happen. Cat is sent out to give Russo a heads up.
Chris Candido/Sunny vs Crowbar/Daffney WCW Cruiserweight Championship
Skip said they were the first couple of sports entertainment and since they were in a good mood, any couple that came out could get a title match. Ms Hancock is out to scout again. Why aren't there leg shots? Huge superplex from Skip. Diving headbutt, but Daffney breaks up the pin. Crowbar tries to suplex Tammy, but she turns it into an inside cradle. Skip then tries to slam Daffney, who reverses it into a DDT. Then Sunny does a spinning neckbreaker on Crowbar. Crowbar does a Vaderbomb off the railing on the floor. Terrible spot of Crowbar trying to Sabu throw a chair at Skip only to have him catch it (he did, with his face), Skip throw it back and try to clothesline it, and then Tammy baseball slide the chair into Crowbar's face. Which happened, but it was super awkward and everyone's timing was off, so it looked awful. Then Sunny hit a sub-Sid chair shot. By the way, WHERE THE FUCK IS SID? He's been gone for like a month without any reference to him. Double suplex to Crowbar. Daffney does a bronco buster to Sunny. Ms. Hancock is going to dance! Crowbar liked it and got out on the ramp. Aren't good pictures or gifs to make since Crowbar's stupid face was either in the shot on the screen or being cut to during this. Skip followed him out and tried a powerbomb, but Crowbar hit a gourdbuster. In the ring, Sunny hits a Stunner, but Daffney rolls her up anyway. Crowbar is the champ. Or is Daffney the champ? No one knows. Out comes Ric Flair.
Ric Flair beats the shit out of Crowbar. You see, Russo and David apparently had some kind of conflict with Ric's wife in their home over the week and Flair is pissed. He wants Russo out NOW.
TO THE PRODUCTION TRUCK. Russo is making sure the guys in the truck play the tape when he says to play it.
TO THE BACK. After a brief return to Flair in the ring, we see Sting head to his car in the parking lot. It is on fire. Also, he's still in his wrestling gear and face paint, so I guess he was going to drive home like that.
TO RIC FLAIR'S HOUSE. Russo, David, and Daffney are doing a report on Flair's home. Beth Flair has her own limo. Family pictures. Russo jumps in Ric's bed. Ric Flair has a nice fucking house. The family gets a big pool, and David gets a shark infested river to play in. Now they are in the closet. Russo puts on one of Ric's robes.
We go into Reid's room. His trophy case is shown. David's room is next. An unfinished basement with a blanket on the floor. Oh shit. The rest of the Flair family has arrived. Reid shoves Russo. Ric was watching this with his eyes welling up. David and Daffney now come out. I kind of enjoy this, but it is also really uncomfortable, because David clearly has some real stuff pent up and I don't really feel like I need to see a real father and son conflict. Flair is laying the law down to David. Ric tells David to get his favorite pair of Ric's boots, because they're going to have a match at the GAB. Ric says he will retire forever if he loses to David. Then he calls David an embarrassment to the family. Jeff Jarrett comes out and hits Ric with a guitar while David punches him. Ric gave up his title match at the GAB to have a match with David, but he will have the title match tonight instead. It's really hard to see Ric as the face here considering the past 4 months of the year he was too busy fucking YAKS to save his clearly mentally ill son from being destroyed multiple times for no reason. And then when asked about it, he'd just say that David is a big boy, fuck him, I'm done playing daddy.
TO THE BACK. Russo is on the headset and then tells Liz it is tough love time.
Russo brings Liz to the ring. The cage is back down. There is a guy on top trying to fix the broken panel. She'll have a match in the cage. Russo brings out Madusa.
Liz vs Madusa House of Pain cage match.
Russo is the ref I suppose. As it turns out, the tech was Lex Luger!
Now Russo is locked in the cage with Lex! Madusa attacks Lex. He puts her in the rack. Russo low blows him during this. I bet he had a cup. Oh look. He pulls his cup out. Liz kicks Russo in the dick! And then she puts Lex's cup on his mouth! Just before Lex is going to rack Madusa, they get the door open. He's pepper sprayed again, for I think the 4th week in a row. Russo, Palumbo, and security beat down Lex. Liz could make a run for it at any time during this, but she just stands there. Kevin Nash's music hits! The Sexecutioner! Russo and Palumbo make it out with Liz while Nash destroys security. Nash goes to powerbomb Madusa, but Mike Awesome ambushes him. Lex threatens him off. Nash calls Awesome Eddie Money and challenges Mike to an ambulance match. Awesome will end Nash's career.
TO THE BACK. Gene is about to talk to Scott Steiner. Scotty rips up the format and says he'd shove it up Russo's ass if he was close enough. He's going to be out in the alley waiting for his brother and Tank because there are too many frickin' rules in wrestling.
Norman and Ralphus are selling popcorn in the crowd.
TO THE ALLEY. Tank and Rick head out for Scott. Rick was ambushed by the YAKS. Now Scott is getting doubled teamed, but not in the fun way he's used to. Goldberg's monster truck is just bouncing over cars. This makes Tank and Rick stop and run away. Scott was bleeding from his mouth. Nash is back up an ambulance.
Kevin Nash vs Mike Awesome Ambulance match.
Before the match, Madden gives a really sarcastic apology for implying that Bruno Sammartino was dead a few weeks ago. This is pretty nothing. It's pretty boring. DDP pops up and hits a Diamond Cutter OUTTA NOWHERE! Nash attempts to powerbomb Awesome off the stage, but can't get him up. DDP has to help and he still doesn't really powerbomb him, but kind of tosses him off the stage. Kevin Nash wins, but Awesome was never put in the ambulance.
TO THE BACK. Eric says something about doing it himself. A Dodge Charger arrives and WE KNOW WHO THAT IS! The fuck, Hogan, why bother coming to the shows if you aren't going to show up until the last 20 minutes? Ralphus and Norman can't believe how much popcorn they sold tonight. Ralphus scratches his ass and puts it in the popcorn cart. They're fired.
Eric, Cat, and Kim come to the ring. He wants to fight DDP. And he wants DDP to bring back up. Some people might think the Cat is a bad sumbitch. But DDP just thinks he's a pussy............CAT. He gets in the ring and decks Eric and Cat. DDP beats them up for a while until Kim hits Page with a chair. Or more accurately, DDP ran his face into a chair that Kim was holding. IT'S SID! FUCK YES! Sid comes out and wants a tag for some reason. IT WAS A SWERVE. SID CHOKESLAMS DDP! SWERVE! Hogan comes out as quickly as he can and takes out Sid and Cat. Eric tells Hogan to stay in the ring, because he's got something for him.
TO THE BACK. Eric is walking with Kidman and Horace. He tells Horace not to drop the ball this time.
Hulk Hogan vs Horace Hogan.
Hulk beats on Kidman for a bit while Horace stands back and does nothing. Eric slaps Horace for not helping Kidman, so Horace dicks him. Then the Filthy Animals hit the ring. The Hogans beats them all down with chairs. Torrie comes out. This makes Horace hit Hulk with the chair and pin him. SWERVE. Two swerves in a row!
TO THE BACK. Horace is leaving with Torrie, which makes Kidman flip out, but Eric calms him down. So Torrie is now getting passed around within the New Blood. But it was kind of already implied she was doing this earlier, at Kidman's behest even, and he didn't seem to mind before. Horace reminds me of Robert Barone.
Russo, David, and Daffney are back out. Russo is wearing Ric's robe. Nash is keeping an eye on things in the back.
Ric Flair vs Jeff Jarrett WCW Championship
They immediately brawl around ringside. Flair rips Madden's headset off just because. No one likes Mark Madden. I think they've been in the ring less than a minute. Suplex on the floor. OOOHH GOOOOOD OHHH SHIIITT OOHHH WHWHHHOOOHH. Jarrett puts on the figure four. Another blatant low blow from Ric. His spot is "Charles, look that way!" Then Charles does, and flair hits someone in the dick. Flair with a random inside cradle. RIC FLAIR HAS WON THE WORLD TITLE! HOLY SHIT, SAYS VINCE RUSSO! Jeff hits Robinson with the guitar. David hits his dad with the statue of liberty. Russo runs off with the belt and falls on the ramp. Four or five people fell or tripped over where the ring and ramp connected tonight. Kevin Nash comes out before Russo can make it to the back. He takes the belt. Nash powerbombs Jeff through the mat! Nash gives Flair the title.
TO THE BACK. Shane Douglas and Eric are in the back. Eric says he and Vince have to be somewhere Wednesday, so he's putting Shane Douglas in charge of Thunder.
This was a fun show. The lack of Jeff Jarrett helped a lot. He was only in two segments and had zero promo time. I'll gladly take a show full of Eric and Vince if it means minimal Jeff Jarrett.