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WCW Monday Nitro 11/27/2000
TO THE SPECIAL BULLETIN. A press conference announcing the presidential election had finally been decided. A man introduces the next president...and Jeff Jarrett hits the guy with a guitar. Wat. He forgot to count Jeff's vote.
2 Count vs MIA
This is a match. I think there is a bigger crowd for Nitro than for Mayhem the night before. They're certainly a hotter crowd, at least. Jamie and Evan show up with a ladder. Chavo pins Shannon with a brainbuster. Some cool moves from 2 Count, I guess.
TO THE BACK. Prime Time again hits on Ms. Jones. Cat will beat his little ass. Lance shows up and hits Cat with a chair. Fuck yo pride.
Show run down. Tony said they were going to run down the rest of the show, but instead he talked about Steiner winning the title and threw it to Gene in the ring. Lying fucking asshole.
Mean Gene brings out the new champion, Scott Steiner.
Scott wants everyone to kiss his asshole. He fucked a whole bunch of bitches after he won the title. Sexual sanctuary! There is no one left for Steiner to face. Booker and Sting are out, he already beat the shit out of Goldberg. Ric Flair comes out. He admits that Scott is the man and WCW will be built around him. But he can't call his own shots. Flair has someone on a jet who will face Steiner at Starrcade. Lol, Steiner says he can't fight Andre the Giant because he's dead, can't fight Steve Austin because Steiner kicked his ass when he was in WCW, and can't fight The Rock because Rock doesn't have the balls to show up if ya smelllalalal what he's cooking. Flair says the man he's got is in the same class as Austin and Rock. Well, that's setting the crowd up for a disappointment. Stevie Ray comes out, but Ric holds him back. Scott agrees to put his title on the line against Stevie's career.
TO THE BACK. BK talk to Kronik. Disco keeps spending all of Alex's money. They can't afford what Kronik wants. Paula is with MIA. Hugh is going to fuck Bam Bam up for his big SWERVE last night.
Yang vs Lance Storm
Leia was giving Kwang the business before the match. Lance says he isn't done with MIA. Yes, he is. That was the stipulation of the match. No more matches between them. Krang gets his face kicked off. Lol, USA chants. Yang is supposed to be from Japan. I'm sure no one knew he was a true blue redneck, but still. Clang is getting a lot of offense. Cradle piledriver. YAK FIGHT! Cat comes out and hits a really awkward cartwheel Vandaminator since Lance dropped the chair, then picked it up and stood there to wait for the move. Chang wins! Rang wins!
TO THE BACK. Lance confronts Duggan for not being out there to help. Stevie is on the phone with someone. He's got this sucka. Boogie Knights ask the Harris Brothers for help. All they charge is 2 drinks and 2 sandwiches. They didn't even want to be back on TV when asked. Lol. Guys don't even want to get booked because they're so embarrassed to work for WCW.
Lex Luger comes to the ring. He's there to announce the end of Goldberg's streak and career. He says that Goldberg should have been DQ'd last night for spearing the ref and Lex has made his appeal to Flair.
TO THE BACK. A limo arrives. BUT WHO IS LIMO?!
THE FOLLOWING ANNOUNCEMENT IS PAID FOR BY THE JIMMY HART WORLD ORDER. What the fuck. He's still challenging DJs? Seriously?
TO THE BACK. Gene asks Jeff Jarrett about his match with Rey Jr. tonight. The Filthy Animals start throwing eggs at Jeff during the interview, which pisses Gene off. The lights flash for some reason. Vito and his sister arrive. Reno walks off with her.
Knoble and Karagias (get it?) vs Alex Wright/A Harris Brother
Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy? Why can't this just be Alex vs Jamie? Alex is awesome. Claudio should totally bring him in as his mentor. Alex can dance while Claudio does his double pump. H Bomb to Jamie. Alex makes the pin. The Harris Brothers provided a much better and much cheaper service than Kronik.
TO THE BACK. The Insiders head to the ring. Another promo for Glacier! The limo is still there.
TO JACK TUNNEY'S OFFICE. Ric Flair will not retroactively disqualify Goldberg. Goldberg and Lex will meet again at Starrcade.
The Insiders come to the ring. "Why is Page wearing a leather mask?" Lol. More cheap Scott Hall heat. Nash is such an asshole. DDP talks about managing Hall and teaming with Nash in the Vegas Connection. They just go out of their way to get Hall his job back after I'm sure they are told over and over to not talk about Scott Hall. The Wolfpac music hits, but it was the NBT. I feel bad for Sanders to get his big break and start going bald immediately. The Insiders vs Jindrak/O'Haire for Starrcade.
The Insiders vs Jindrak/O'Haire
Or right now. Why not. DDP is a deceptively big guy. "Is it possible..." Ancient Aliens on Nitro? God, I wish. DDP is so loud and obvious with his spot calling. What the fuck. He doesn't even try to be subtle about it. He just looks straight at a dude and yells what he wants to do next. Kanyon Cutter! Sanders pulls the ref out of the ring. Nash went for a jackknife on the floor, but the rest of the Thrillers attack. Perfect Event walk off with the belts. No contest I suppose.
TO THE BACK. Gene is with Stevie Ray.
Reno vs Goldberg
Reno has a JHV of Rollin. I guess that kind of makes sense considering his name and move names, but they really had a dude with a JHV of a current WWF guy's music. Another squash. Reno almost got the Roll of the Dice, but it was reversed into a powerslam. Spear. Jackhammer. Win. I believe this is 26 wins in the streak. Luger attacks with a chair after the match. Torture Rack!
TO THE BACK. Gene is with the Animals. Gene says he almost soiled himself earlier. Rey is clearly stoned. His eyes, lol.
Bam Bam Big Yellow vs General Rection WCW US Championship
I wonder how reckless Bam Bam will be tonight. Dude has been outright dangerous since he came back. God, this sucks. Bam Bam is in terrible shape. But then he powerbombs Hugh, so I don't know what to think. Bam Bam sets up a table, but Wall moves it. This distracts Bam Bam. Hugh hits the moonsault for the win. Another match where he gets beat the entire match only to hit the moonsault for the win. And he would have lost if Wall hadn't been out there. That's how you book a strong face champion.
TO THE BACK. Gene stops Steiner and his YAK. Scott is ending more careers tonight. Scott makes the camera man follow him to the limo. In the limo are a bunch of YAKs. "Who are all these ugly bitches?" Lol. SMOOV says it is his limo that Flair wanted. Steiner beats him up.
Jeff Jarrett vs Rey Mysterio Jr.
The most annoying, shit head faces against the most annoying, shit head heel. Makes sense to me that the most homophobic group of all time would throw eggs at the first openly gay heel.
Copious amount of interference from the face stable that hates gay people. I'm actually rooting for Jeff Jarrett. BA*. DANGEROUS POWABOMMBBAA!!!
Jeff hits he Stroke, but the Animals pull him out. This is ridiculous. There should never be a match where you want to cheer Jeff Jarrett over Rey Mysterio. Jeff hits Rey with a guitar off a spring board. That's a DQ, but the rest of the Animals interfering ever 30 seconds wasn't.
TO THE BACK. Paula is with Jeff. Jeff tells her to shut her hole and he's got a 6 man tag for the Animals on Thunder.
Stevie Ray vs Scott Steiner WCW Championship/Stevie Ray's Career
TO THE BACK. Steiner heads to the ring. A NEW limo arrives. BUT WHO IS LIMO?!?!?
Back to the entrances, Stevie attacks right away on the floor. Midajah hits Stevie with the pipe, but it isn't a DQ because they haven't made it in the ring yet. Stevie hits a STIFF clothesline to the back of the head that stunned Scott. Stevie Ray hits a Book End! Slap Jack! Stevie is SO blown up. A lot of YAK interference. Steiner locks on the Recliner. Scott retains and Stevie Ray's career is over. The lights go out and...IT'S SID! SID HAS RETURNED! Remember how he was pushed as Goldberg's replacement for the first four months of the year, and then the New Blood thing happened and he vanished after the second week? Then he showed up months later on RUSSO's side in a shocking SWERVE, then vanished again for months with no mention? I do. But he's back as a face.
On one hand, I like that they've already scheduled a number of matches for Starrcade. Steiner/Sid, Lex/Goldberg, Insiders/NBT. Usually WCW doesn't start building for matches until the week of a PPV. Here, they're not only building but scheduling matches the night after the previous PPV. On the other hand, I'm not interested in those matches. Maybe Sid/Steiner, but definitely not the other two.