Cindi Mayweather
Member
Holy fuck
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I just found something huge about my granpa and I think he doesn't know it
- Thread starter UnluckyKate
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AuthenticM
Member
tell him
Subpar Scrub
Banned
That's quite the story, OP! You should dig even farther, sounds super interesting.
Your next step is obvious, track the parents. Yes sadly there is a very good chance they were shipped to a camp, which is probably why they were so keen to have your grandfather given a false identity. However if there is even a small chance that they lived and died of natural causes, finding their graves should be your ultimate goal.
I would've thought though that if they had lived until the end of the war at least, they would have retained your grandfathers false name in hopes of finding him again. If they never did.....
I would've thought though that if they had lived until the end of the war at least, they would have retained your grandfathers false name in hopes of finding him again. If they never did.....
Bluecondor
Member
I have been doing genealogy research for the past five years, and have been doing DNA genealogy research for the past two years. In genealogy research, the situation you are describing happens frequently - misattributed parentage.
I have a similar example in my Aunt C's family with her father, Theodore (although not nearly as dramatic). In Theodore's case, the DNA evidence shows, almost certainly, that his father was a man who rented a room in Theodore's mother's house.
There are two issues here. First, the question of whether to tell your grandfather about this is one of the most common ethical questions in genealogy research. When we find evidence of a misattributed parentage, should we disclose this to relatives? There is a great deal of debate over this, particularly in instances in which an elderly relative like your grandfather did not ask you to do this research. In my opinion, you should have a conversation about this with your Mom and any other respected family members. Then - everyone in your family should agree as to whether to tell your grandfather and how.
Second, regardless of whether your tell your grandfather about this, you can independently pursue more information about his parentage. There are many genealogy experts out there who study Jewish genealogy and/or the birth records of France and Germany during the Nazi Era. Also, DNA genealogy offers a lot of promise for a case like this. In short, an autosomal DNA test (from Ancestry, Family Tree DNA or 23&me) would be very relevant here, as we each receive roughly 50% of our autosomal DNA from our father and roughly 50% from our mother. If your grandfather were to do an Ancestry DNA test, all of his matches would be biological relatives. Even if you just had your Mom do the test, all of her paternal matches would be relatives of your grandfather from his birth parents.
Let me know if you have any questions on any of this. I am currently helping a friend-of-a-friend who suddenly and unexpectedly found out a few months ago that her father was not her actual birth father. The DNA evidence has already narrowed things down considerably for her.
I have a similar example in my Aunt C's family with her father, Theodore (although not nearly as dramatic). In Theodore's case, the DNA evidence shows, almost certainly, that his father was a man who rented a room in Theodore's mother's house.
There are two issues here. First, the question of whether to tell your grandfather about this is one of the most common ethical questions in genealogy research. When we find evidence of a misattributed parentage, should we disclose this to relatives? There is a great deal of debate over this, particularly in instances in which an elderly relative like your grandfather did not ask you to do this research. In my opinion, you should have a conversation about this with your Mom and any other respected family members. Then - everyone in your family should agree as to whether to tell your grandfather and how.
Second, regardless of whether your tell your grandfather about this, you can independently pursue more information about his parentage. There are many genealogy experts out there who study Jewish genealogy and/or the birth records of France and Germany during the Nazi Era. Also, DNA genealogy offers a lot of promise for a case like this. In short, an autosomal DNA test (from Ancestry, Family Tree DNA or 23&me) would be very relevant here, as we each receive roughly 50% of our autosomal DNA from our father and roughly 50% from our mother. If your grandfather were to do an Ancestry DNA test, all of his matches would be biological relatives. Even if you just had your Mom do the test, all of her paternal matches would be relatives of your grandfather from his birth parents.
Let me know if you have any questions on any of this. I am currently helping a friend-of-a-friend who suddenly and unexpectedly found out a few months ago that her father was not her actual birth father. The DNA evidence has already narrowed things down considerably for her.
everyday math
Banned
You need to tell him
andythinkpad
Member
OP your story delivered.
But I believe you are only a jew if your mother is a jew?
But I believe you are only a jew if your mother is a jew?
+1
This is not info to spring onto anyone especially an elderly person lightly
Among the orthodox yes, the religion is matrilineal, however among the different movements of modern jews the amount that anyone cares varies.
I know a guy who found out that his ancestors from spain were jews that hid their religion during the inquisition. He attended a class to learn more about it and decided to convert and is now modern orthodox (very observant but not crazy hats).
Ether_Snake
å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®
Paternal grandmother was half Jewish. So by that logic only my Dad was "Jewish"
veryslowhand
Banned
I wouldn't tell him, maybe be to much to handle for an old man
Particle Physicist
between a quark and a baryon
OP, I think you should tell your grandfather. He deserves to know. His adoptive parents were heroes, they risked their lives to save his.
Op there's an institute in Amsterdam, drop them an email, they could help you get more information or send you to the right sources in France to find out more.
http://www.niod.nl/en
http://www.niod.nl/en
thehypocrite
Member
That's big OP. You need to investigate further.
Wow, thread title actually delivered way more than I expected! And thinking about it, it makes sense, and I bet it happened a lot during that time 
On whether to tell him or not, you should talk to your mom first and think real hard on it.
Maybe try to find out more information about his biological parents and family before you decide on what to do.
On whether to tell him or not, you should talk to your mom first and think real hard on it.
Maybe try to find out more information about his biological parents and family before you decide on what to do.
Johnny Cage In The Shower
Member
I donno exactly why, but your story suddenly gave me the urge to rewatch Egoyan's Remember, once again!
Monochromaticx
Member
Wow that's crazy
C'est incroyable! Je ne peux pas le croire! Such a rich and tragic family background. I think you should likely tell your grandfather about his past, but I can't envy the situation you are in. To basically tell him that his entire life hasn't been what he believed, and to hear what likely happened to his blood parents. I would want to be told, and I think given the fact that you were asked to get their papers in order, you have a justification to tell him. I hope he can respect you for being honest and caring about your heritage and family. Please let us know what happens.
Wow that's a wild story OP.
Personally, I think your grandpa should know, mostly because I think his birth parents deserve to be acknowledged for the tremendous and, frankly, heroic sacrifice they did in order to save his life. I mean, chances are you wouldn't even be here today otherwise if you think about it.
God, that decision must have been heart-wrenching to make.
Personally, I think your grandpa should know, mostly because I think his birth parents deserve to be acknowledged for the tremendous and, frankly, heroic sacrifice they did in order to save his life. I mean, chances are you wouldn't even be here today otherwise if you think about it.
God, that decision must have been heart-wrenching to make.
What an emotional amazing read. Thanks for that! Consensus is to tell him though and I'm in that camp as well. You never know what might click when you tell him it
It's heartbreaking that this went on less than a 100 years ago where your parents won't ever get to see you grow up because of dictatorship
It's heartbreaking that this went on less than a 100 years ago where your parents won't ever get to see you grow up because of dictatorship
That's really an incredible story, fooled me with that title but it's well deserved for this.
I think you should gather as much info as you can/want to, and leave the decision to tell him to your mom, siblings, and grandma. It's a tragic story but personally I'd want to tell him about it.
I think you should gather as much info as you can/want to, and leave the decision to tell him to your mom, siblings, and grandma. It's a tragic story but personally I'd want to tell him about it.
If I were your grandfather I would want to know. That is a beautiful story. His birth parents made so much effort to save his life, and his parents took him in and gave him a home when so many others at that time would have turned a blind eye to the Jewish population. The actions of all these people for saving a life deserve to be remembered
OP should listen to this.
Girl meets World of all things already did something similar.
Thankfully, no one but you noticed.
J
Jpop
Unconfirmed Member
OP,
I say tell him, he will appreciate it.
He may already know even.
I say tell him, he will appreciate it.
He may already know even.
Cow Mengde
Banned
If you're not going to tell him, then telling other family members might not be a good idea. You don't know who might end up telling him this information.
I'm not saying you should or shouldn't tell him, just that you should also consider another possibility if you don't tell him.
I'm not saying you should or shouldn't tell him, just that you should also consider another possibility if you don't tell him.
foxuzamaki
Doesn't read OPs, especially not his own
This is a straight up movie plot, incredible.
It actually handles it very tastefully, especially for a kids show.
Liberty4all
Banned
We need Lionel. First feel good narrative
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