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[Iceman]

That was more pulp than sci-fi, but yeah. Lucas really wanted aliens in Indy 4.

And also, I don't know how some of you could say the Jungle Chase was a bad action scene. I thought it was one of the best action scenes in the series. It had car jumping, guns, fist fights on moving cars, swordfights on moving cars, swordfights on separate moving cars, cliffs, ants, explosions, and self-referential humor.

It was like a circus on wheels right? Like a three ring circus full of crazy war-painted clowns, scat throwing monkeys, a top hatted midget whipping at you instead of the lion that has just leapt into the crowd and is gnawing on a small girl's scalp. The crowd, fueled by pure terror tramples over one another trying to get through the small gaps in the big tent when a runaway elephant barrels through the mob, trumpeting as it rears on its hind legs and slams down again and again sending fine mists of blood shooting into the hot, adrenaline filled air like geysers. A trapeze artist is on fire and flips out of control onto the canvas canopy which immediately engulfs in flames as if it was laced in gasoline. A bear in a fine vest unicycles backwards in a figure eight, roaring in frustration at his inability to get in on the carnage...

Do you see my point yet? Should I keep going?

 

[BigSicily]

And also, I don't know how some of you could say the Jungle Chase was a bad action scene. I thought it was one of the best action scenes in the series. It had car jumping, guns, fist fights on moving cars, swordfights on moving cars, swordfights on separate moving cars, cliffs, ants, explosions, and self-referential humor.

You forgot the friendly monkeys!

 

[PhoenixDark]

Crystal Skulls sucked, a sequel will suck too. End the franchise now. Spielberg and Lucas deserve absolutely no trust

 

[Ezduo]

your just jealous you don't have his autograph

Oh yeah?

 

[WillyFive]

It was like a circus on wheels right? Like a three ring circus full of crazy war-painted clowns, scat throwing monkeys, a top hatted midget whipping at you instead of the lion that has just leapt into the crowd and is gnawing on a small girl's scalp. The crowd, fueled by pure terror tramples over one another trying to get through the small gaps in the big tent and then a runaway elephant barrels through the mob, trumpeting as it rears on its hind legs and slams down again and again. A trapeze artist is on fire and flips out of control onto the canvas canopy which immediately engulfs in flames as if it was laced in gasoline. A bear in a fine vest unicycles backwards in a figure eight, roaring in frustration at his inability to get in on the carnage...

Do you see my point yet? Should I keep going?

...that it was great? Being insane and over the top doesn't make it bad, especially in Indiana Jones, where that's how it's supposed to be.

You forgot the friendly monkeys!

I wonder how people felt with the frying pans and baskets in Raiders, the monkey brains in Temple, or the blimp comedy act in Crusade.

 

[brandonh83]

Jungle chase was awesome.

 

[Spectral Glider]

I definitely prefer Crusade. The sense of adventure was much grander and the characters were far more entertaining to watch. Some of the best lines in the series too.

But none of the lines topped, "We are GOING TO DIE!" or "Do it NOW!" with tightly clenched fist.

 

[NotWii]

Continue the B-movie theme from Indy 4 and have Nazis return from their secret base on the moon, please.

:lol That would actually be kinda awesome

 

[neoism]

Crystal Skulls sucked, a sequel will suck too. End the franchise now. Lucas deserve absolutely no trust

fixed

 

[PhoenixDark]

fixed

Why do people continue perpetuating this meme? Spielberg OK'd Lucas' idea and the script, which means he thought both were worthy of being shot. Then he turned in a pretty weak directing job from beginning to end.

 

[WillyFive]

Why do people continue perpetuating this meme? Spielberg OK'd Lucas' idea and the script, which means he thought both were worthy of being shot. Then he turned in a pretty weak directing job from beginning to end.

Spielberg just didn't want to be associated with aliens again. Once Lucas changed that, he was totally fine with the story.

I thought the directing was just fine, although it felt a bit slower paced than the originals, mostly because of the most recent biographical and serious films he made prior.

 

[Medalion]

I can't wait to see how South Park lampoons Indy 5. Even if I enjoy it or not... are they gonna show Indy getting raped twice (as I predict they will hate it)?

 

[theinfinityissue]

Harrison Ford demands kids off trailer lawn, unlimited apple sauce more at 11.

 

[Blader]

The only good Indiana Jones movie was Raiders.

Crystal Skull was so abysmally poor, I can't fathom why anyone would look forward to a fifth film.

 

[Spectral Glider]

The only good Indiana Jones movie was Raiders.

Actually, Raiders was the only GREAT Jones flick. The next two were good. Skull was like some lame made for TV movie.

 

[PrivateWHudson]

Indy needs to be chasing something that people know about. The Ark, check. The Holy Grail, check. Glowing rocks, nope. Glowing skulls, nada.

 

[Lionel Mandrake]

I'd love if there was an immortal Hitler/Spear of Destiny plot. Indy gets to kill Hitler, how awesome would that be?

 

[Medalion]

Indiana Jones and the Grand Canyon. :lol

 

[Salazar]

Crusade also had Elsa Schneider.

Fap.

 

[WillyFive]

Indy needs to be chasing something that people know about. The Ark, check. The Holy Grail, check. Glowing rocks, nope. Glowing skulls, nada.

I'm sure people in the Orient knew about those rocks.

I'm sure people in South America knew about those Skulls.

 

[Ether_Snake]

So then it is safe to say that Indy 5 is about Atlantis.

But so is the next PotC (supposedly)...

 

[Medalion]

So then it is safe to say that Indy 5 is about Atlantis.

But so is the next PotC (supposedly)...

 

[Zeliard]

We can dream.

 

[mattiewheels]

So do you guys agree that Crystal Skull was the worst movie Spielburg ever made? Man, even Hook had some classic moments amidst all the treacle. I'm not counting 1941, btw.

 

[Shalashaska161]

IndyandtheFateofAtlantisPoster.jpg

They could just copy the story straight from the game and it would a far better movie than the last one they shat out.

 

[Lionel Mandrake]

So do you guys agree that Crystal Skull was the worst movie Spielburg ever made? Man, even Hook had some classic moments amidst all the treacle. I'm not counting 1941, btw.

I can't agree with that.

 

[Pelydr]

I hope it is terrible and pisses of losers who actually think the first three movies are actually anything other than good popcorn movies.

 

[Zeliard]

Spielberg gets a lot of shit, some of it deserving, but he has a remarkably consistent track record. People like to say he fell off after the 90s, but that certainly isn't true. Catch Me If You Can, Munich and Minority Report are all splendid. I have a lot of love for A.I. as well.

I hope it is terrible and pisses of losers who actually think the first three movies are actually anything other than good popcorn movies.

:lol

What a moronic statement. They are pulpy summer blockbusters, not art house flicks.

 

[WillyFive]

So do you guys agree that Crystal Skull was the worst movie Spielburg ever made? Man, even Hook had some classic moments amidst all the treacle. I'm not counting 1941, btw.

Not even close.

And to the guy who said The Lost World, cut the gas.

 

[Lebron]

Crystal Skulls sucked, a sequel will suck too. End the franchise now. Spielberg and Lucas deserve absolutely no trust

Yup, all of them lied to me. They also got John Williams to jump on the lie train. I went to one of his concerts at the Chicago Symphony Orchestra and he told us that he thought CS was the best in the series. This of course was prior to the film released, so like a fool, I believed him. Man, John, that one still hurts. Lied to our face! However, the score for the most part was fine. Not his best, but fine. So I can forgive him. Also, he's John Fucking Williams

Steven and George on the other hand...

 

[Lionel Mandrake]

I love how quickly people have turned on Spielberg.

 

[PhoenixDark]

Spielberg just didn't want to be associated with aliens again. Once Lucas changed that, he was totally fine with the story.

I thought the directing was just fine, although it felt a bit slower paced than the originals, mostly because of the most recent biographical and serious films he made prior.

uhh there are aliens in crystal skull

 

[Medalion]

uhh there are aliens in crystal skull

Inter-dimensional beings, apparently there is a difference.

 

[Amir0x]

Inter-dimensional beings, apparently there is a difference.

did Spielberg really make that distinction and say to himself "oh ok. As long as they're inter-dimensional aliens, I'm all aboard!"

I can't even imagine how hilarious that conversation was :lol

 

[Medalion]

did Spielberg really make that distinction and say to himself "oh ok. As long as they're inter-dimensional aliens, I'm all aboard!"

I can't even imagine how hilarious that conversation was :lol

The look like aliens, have weird abilities, they have a fucking UFO...

I can only assume Lucas used jedi mind tricks on Spielberg

 

[Zeliard]

I think at that point Spielberg was probably like "whatever, Ford is nearing 70, we have to get this shit done already. Lucas, give me your worst idea, since we've seen your recent best."

 

[Punchy4486]

Why do people continue perpetuating this meme? Spielberg OK'd Lucas' idea and the script, which means he thought both were worthy of being shot. Then he turned in a pretty weak directing job from beginning to end.

I thought that Ford and Spielberg fought with Lucas for like the last twenty years about making it sci-fi, specifically the alien thing, but Lucas wouldn't budge. Spielberg's kid wanted a new Indy, so he decided that if they were gonna do aliens, they'd get Frank Darabont to write a script, that was supposedly good enough that both Spielberg and Ford were on board, but Lucas was a dipshit and demanded a new script, agreeing to cut back on the alien presence in order to get the others to concede. And we wound up with what we wound up with.

On a mild tangent, I still can't wrap my head around the fact that the skull wanted to be returned to its corpse, and when the bad guys did that, they were rewarded with death. And I also don't understand Jones' summation that "Knowledge. Knowledge was their gift." Indy is ALONG FOR THE RIDE with the bad guys for the entire movie, and helps them complete their goals with little-to-no actions that effect the plot after he finds the skull itself? I actually found the red-scare theme from the beginning to be the most interesting, that Indy needed to prove that he wasn't a Communist. At the end he was redeemed, somehow, and with no explanation, after he helped a bunch of Communists do exactly what they set out to do! In Raiders, technically the Nazis got what they wanted, but Indy fought them tooth and nail the entire time before he realized at the last moment the lesson of the Ark. In Skull, he practically wants to help them find what they're looking for, even though he thinks aliens are BS.

God... I need to lie down.

 

[Combichristoffersen]

Hitler's great!

Hitler was a sensitive man.

Also, anyone played that Indy and the Knobstick of Moses game for Wii/PS2? Shit was worse than ass cancer. Made Temple and Crystal Skulls seem like works of art.

 

[ThatObviousUser]

There was a fourth Indiana Jones movie??

 

[AniHawk]

There was a fourth Indiana Jones movie??

Yeah, it was actually made between Raiders and Last Crusade, can you believe that? Doesn't have anything to do with them, makes zero sense related to the rest of the series, and it's not very good, but it happened.

 

[WillyFive]

Yeah, it was actually made between Raiders and Last Crusade, can you believe that? Doesn't have anything to do with them, makes zero sense related to the rest of the series, and it's not very good, but it happened.

The what now?

 

[Holtz]

Light years superior to KOTCS. Fucking Lucas.

 

[Kai Dracon]

On a mild tangent, I still can't wrap my head around the fact that the skull wanted to be returned to its corpse, and when the bad guys did that, they were rewarded with death. And I also don't understand Jones' summation that "Knowledge. Knowledge was their gift." Indy is ALONG FOR THE RIDE with the bad guys for the entire movie, and helps them complete their goals with little-to-no actions that effect the plot after he finds the skull itself? I actually found the red-scare theme from the beginning to be the most interesting, that Indy needed to prove that he wasn't a Communist. At the end he was redeemed, somehow, and with no explanation, after he helped a bunch of Communists do exactly what they set out to do! In Raiders, technically the Nazis got what they wanted, but Indy fought them tooth and nail the entire time before he realized at the last moment the lesson of the Ark. In Skull, he practically wants to help them find what they're looking for, even though he thinks aliens are BS.

God... I need to lie down.

Huh? The plot is very straightforward. The bad guys were not "rewarded" with death. They died because of their own greed. The aliens were clearly far above human capacity for thought. The bad guys merely acted true to their nature and arrogantly believed they were still destined to rule the world. The aliens dispassionately gave them the information they desired and it was too much for them; destroying them.

Indiana is not just a stupid guy with a whip. He's a professor and intellectual. He's a very cunning man; he's figured out bizarre traps and puzzles before with no prior knowledge and few clues to go on. I'd say, going into the temple inside the ruined city, there were plenty of big obvious clues he would pick up and figure out what the aliens were on about. Also, Indy wasn't destroyed because, as has been shown in the past, he is genuinely humble. He knew not to fuck with what the aliens seemed to offer by human standards (which was way beyond what a single human being could cope with).

As for Indy helping them find what they want, he behaved in his character for the entire film. It's no different from his characterization in Last Crusade, where yes, he doesn't want the villains to profit from getting what they want, but he is an explorer and mystery-solver and can't help but get wrapped up in it himself. In Last Crusade, there were many scenes where Indy simultaneously kept an eye open for a way to escape and/or foil the villains, while being hopelessly caught up in the race himself because it calls to him.

I swear, people try to hate this movie and actively try to not understand it. It's like just the mere fact that "UFO ALIENS OMG!" is in their brain walking into the theater causes said brain to /shut off/.

 

[GreekWolf]

Love the Fate of Atlantis idea, but certainly wouldn't mind a Spear of Destiny adaption from the Dark Horse comic.

The quickest way to franchise redemption is bringing back Henry Jones Sr. His wit and charisma would have elevated that abomination into something reasonably watchable. I don't care what it takes, even if Connery demands 10% royalties, you have to get him back into action for the final movie.

Crystal Skull never actually elaborated on what happened to Henry Sr., other than a fond remembrance in Indy's office and a vague remark to Mutt later in the movie. That could easily be rectified with a clever script.

 

[mjc]

There's certainly room to make the next one better, but I thought KotCS was pretty enjoyable overall. With the exception of the Tarzan moment I thought it delivered.

 

[Dead]

Spielberg gets a lot of shit, some of it deserving, but he has a remarkably consistent track record. People like to say he fell off after the 90s, but that certainly isn't true. Catch Me If You Can, Munich and Minority Report are all splendid. I have a lot of love for A.I. as well.



:lol

What a moronic statement. They are pulpy summer blockbusters, not art house flicks.

The Spielberg lost it after the 90s myth is just about the worst thing ever. All those movies you listed are among the very best he's ever made.

 

[Count of Monte Sawed-Off]

I can't agree with that.

Who knew all you needed to fight velociraptors was a knowledge of gymnastics?!

 

[jett]

So do you guys agree that Crystal Skull was the worst movie Spielburg ever made? Man, even Hook had some classic moments amidst all the treacle. I'm not counting 1941, btw.

It is up there with Jurassic Park II. I guess Crystal Skull is the worst of them all because it smears the good name of a great franchise.

 

[Furret]

The Spielberg lost it after the 90s myth is just about the worst thing ever. All those movies you listed are among the very best he's ever made.

In your opinion, and based upon it I'm not subscribing to your newsletter.

The only decent film Spielberg has made post-1990 is Jurassic Park.

Schindler's List and Munich are both good, but spoiled by Spielberg's usual pick 'n' mix approach to historical accuracy and lack of depth.

 

[GreekWolf]

Wait... Hook is considered a terrible movie now?

Other than the horrific choice of Julia Roberts as Tinkerbell, I thought it qualified as one of the last true classics of the old Spielberg era.