Mr Reasonable
Completely Unreasonable
You can find love, Link. There are nice people out there.
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is it love or just physical attraction but my brain thinks its love ?
- Thread starter samoilaaa
- Start date
You can find love, Link. There are nice people out there.
![L*][*N*K](/data/avatars/m/842/842515.jpg?1696510303){kind=avatar}
L*][*N*K
Banned
Nope, I am an introverted workaholic, every girl I dated was because I am good-looking and tall but the moment they got to know me and realized I would rather spend my whole weekend playing video games they couldn't get away from faster, So no I am not doing that I quit.
Mr Reasonable
Completely Unreasonable
Well, if it makes you happy, maybe it can't be that bad.
L*][*N*K
Banned
To be honest it is actually pretty good, I am in no way isolated or anti-social, I just don't want to let someone have any power over my feelings again I have been burned a lot so no need for that.
bitbydeath
Member
Slicker than your average
Banned
You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
Take my advice what's the worse than can happen, she say no? Who gives a fuck you can then move on. If she says no it will allow you to stop obsessing and being friend zone. Also if she sees you flirting with other women she'll get jealous once you stop giving her attention .
At the end of the day you don't want to be her friend you want more. Pointless being friends with her as you'll only obsess.
She might say yes.
FunkMiller
Gold Member
The only question that matters is whether you can handle the rejection if she's not interested. If you can, ask her out. If not, don't. You can't control her reaction, only you're own.
But for god's sakes, if you do try and she does reject you, take it like a man. Don't bad mouth her, and be friendly to her.
But for god's sakes, if you do try and she does reject you, take it like a man. Don't bad mouth her, and be friendly to her.
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Batiman
Banned
Me and my wife are different as well.
She loves going out to eat( used to like clubs). I don’t
I love gaming. She doesn’t .
We mostly watch different shit.
But she’s a 10 and only an inch shorter than me lol.
Sometimes I make sacrifices to do the things she likes and make her happy. It’s also good she gets me out of my comfort zone and out of the house.
Bottom line is, it doesn’t hurt to try. Most people end up single because they never shoot their shot. Go with zero expectations and nothing could go wrong. Just don’t be so pushy. Don’t make it to obvious your into her and just send little signs without looking like a creep.
If nothing happens, oh well
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The Pleasure
Member
Give her box a good boxing before you decide anything.
Humdinger
Gold Member
It's neurochemistry. Limerence. A 23 year old woman will be at the height of her sexual appeal. You're just being entranced by that. Millions of years of evolution have ensured that you will feel how you feel. Just remember it's a chemical thing -- a neurochemical cocktail of dopamine, oxytocin, testosterone, serotonin, and who knows what else. It doesn't "mean" anything (except that your biology wants you to mate with her). It's not love; it's limerence, it's neurochemistry. Chances are, lots of men feel it around her. That's why she's so "popular." She is well-aware of how attractive she is, and how many simps are lined up to compete for her attention/validation. Don't bother.
Grildon Tundy
Member
Hey, I'm like you but not good-looking!
Romulus
Member
L*][*N*K
Banned
Or you could be and you just don’t know it
samoilaaa
Member
its awsome if u made it work
Jsisto
Member
You never can know for sure with women, man. They could be sending you all the signs, and then reject you because of the position of the moon in relation to Jupiter on that day or some shit. From what you described, I’d probably hold off unless you get some more overt signs. Also asking for a ride home when you’re 10 years her senior is probably a big red flag for most women. Is it fair? No, but that’s life. Regardless, I would just brace yourself for things to be awkward if you ask her out and it doesn’t go well. It’s always touchy navigating this in a work environment.
samoilaaa
Member
yeah , i just got a weird/bad feeling when i was in the car with her ( maybe it was just me being nervous , she even asked " so you dont drive ? how do you manage to get to places ? " , when she asked me that in my mind it was like "omg what a loser"
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PapaEmeritus
Member
Response should have been, "I get rides to where I need to go by attractive women, such as yourself, for example" Then laugh, and go into, "IDK I ride a bike or take an uber, it works for me". Leave her going wait what, and just keep going on with the convo
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Tams
Member
Has OP been fired yet for drama around dipping his pen in company ink?
Seriously though, workplace relationships are only with pursuing if you really think they will work out.
Just be yourself around her. If she likes it, well maybe you'll get to wet your pen. If not? Well, you get to just be yourself, which presumably hasn't gotten you fired yet.
Life's too short to be with about crushes. Been there; done that. Actually bumped into one a couple of days ago very unexpectedly. There were no such feelings left.
Stop being a weirdo and drive when you need to. But if you like cycling, taking public transport etc. to work, well just do that. It might even interest someone.
Seriously though, workplace relationships are only with pursuing if you really think they will work out.
Just be yourself around her. If she likes it, well maybe you'll get to wet your pen. If not? Well, you get to just be yourself, which presumably hasn't gotten you fired yet.
Life's too short to be with about crushes. Been there; done that. Actually bumped into one a couple of days ago very unexpectedly. There were no such feelings left.
Stop being a weirdo and drive when you need to. But if you like cycling, taking public transport etc. to work, well just do that. It might even interest someone.
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samoilaaa
Member
i love to walk , every day i walk 4km to work and 4 km back home , even in my free time i go for long walks , it makes me feel energized and with peaceful mind
Synless
Member
My wife and I are polar opposites on most things. I have observed in life that people with similar interests tend to fail. It’s anecdotal, non scientific but I see it often.
Tams
Member
There's nothing wrong with walking, but don't put off driving when it would be beneficial and bum lifts of over people for no reason. It's weird.
Ask her if she wants to walk to walk with you one day. Suggest popping into somewhere, seeing something on the way, or the like.
I mean, if you want that muff, you're going to have to go out of your way to get it.
But from my experience, those types of women get really wound up and intrigued with the cold shoulder and the other person being hard to get. As in, you showing some interest, but most of the time make an excuse just before whatever that is. She wants to put her head on your shoulder? Let her get close, but casuaully make so she misses. She wants lunch? At the last minute have something to do (most of the time).
DeafTourette
Perpetually Offended
You're infatuated because you want to be one of the guys (or THEE guy) whose head she puts on your shoulder, whom she sits next to and whom she just gives attention to. It's more like "she's so pretty and I wish I was as lucky as those guys she gives attention to".
I have sort of a similar situation to yours (she's also 23 but I'm dang near 50) but I think she actually likes me but I'm the one kinda iffy on things because... Well a couple things. Not totally the same reason ... Also she's a geek and knows some ASL which puts us much closer than being opposites.
I have sort of a similar situation to yours (she's also 23 but I'm dang near 50) but I think she actually likes me but I'm the one kinda iffy on things because... Well a couple things. Not totally the same reason ... Also she's a geek and knows some ASL which puts us much closer than being opposites.
Mr Reasonable
Completely Unreasonable
lostinblue
Banned
You're having your first midlife crisis.
You're on your third (midlife crisis)
But hey guys, look at Al Pacino.
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Grildon Tundy
Member
That's nice of you to say, but I look like a cross between Rhy Ifans and Dirk Nowitzki without the fame, height, or athletic skill.
L*][*N*K
Banned
You can actually build the frame, you can also dress nice be chic about how you carry yourself and that will go a long long way with the ladies, how old are you?That's nice of you to say, but I look like a cross between Rhy Ifans and Dirk Nowitzki without the fame, height, or athletic skill.
Grildon Tundy
Member
Nearly middle aged. Back in school was the most successful I ever was with girls/women. Kind of lost my mojo after that, and never really put myself back out there in real-life spaces, and never noticed getting any attention, either.
I use dating apps off and on, and get a decent number of matches/likes. Problem is I can't seem to attract the types I find physically attractive.
Toons
Member
You are Kenough.
cash_longfellow
Member
Don’t do it bro….my second to last job, I worked with a 26 year old, incredibly gorgeous woman who knew that I had recently gone through something with a woman pretty serious (fiancé, and we lost a baby pre-birth). She was absolutely a good time and I had fun, but the first time we hung outside of work and she tried to convince me to fu$k her without a condom should have been the quadruple red flag. I did, but wrapped up, and for the next 3 months she convinced me I was the one and I was her “twin flame”…we were meant to be together. Over the next few months, she managed to break up with my three times. The first time she broke up with me on a Friday, hung out with a guy she met on “Tinder” Saturday, but she apparently didn’t do “anything with” (later stating she was on a bunch of Xanax and could t remember the night, but was sure she didn’t mess with the guy 
). That Monday at work, convinced me that she missed me and told me about my what had supposedly happened. She time and time again said she loved being relaxed, introverted, and just wanted to chill. The next two times she broke up with me for a minute, she said that she felt like I was too old for her and that she wanted to go do things. I legitimately always offered to go do things with her, but she wanted to stay in. Long story short…do you, don’t mess with these young chicks who don’t know what they want. Many of them don’t care about you or your feelings. They want to do young girl shit, but act like they want maturity in person. I’m not saying every younger chick is in this same place mentally, but be careful be self-aware, and don’t get yourself in a worse rabbit hole that you might have already been in.
Just my history and opinion…good luck OP!
). That Monday at work, convinced me that she missed me and told me about my what had supposedly happened. She time and time again said she loved being relaxed, introverted, and just wanted to chill. The next two times she broke up with me for a minute, she said that she felt like I was too old for her and that she wanted to go do things. I legitimately always offered to go do things with her, but she wanted to stay in. Long story short…do you, don’t mess with these young chicks who don’t know what they want. Many of them don’t care about you or your feelings. They want to do young girl shit, but act like they want maturity in person. I’m not saying every younger chick is in this same place mentally, but be careful be self-aware, and don’t get yourself in a worse rabbit hole that you might have already been in. Just my history and opinion…good luck OP!
cash_longfellow
Member
You know, sometimes I disagree with your viewpoints on GAF…but this….this is 110%
samoilaaa
Member
Ok so a little update about the situation , a coworker knows that i like her very much and when we were working together she told her " can you take samoilaaa for a ride home today ? hes to shy to ask you "
she said "ofc , he can ask me anytime " and the friend told me " You hear that ? now you have an opportunity to finally ask her out " , and she started laughing
while we were on our way home i told her that im gonna watch full season of House of the Dragon with 2 bags of chips and a big pepsi and she said that game of thrones is her fav tv show , she saw it 3 times but she cant watch HoD because she doesnt have hbo max
my friend said that im an idiot because that was a sign that i should have invited her to watch HoD together
so should i try to ask her out ?
she said "ofc , he can ask me anytime " and the friend told me " You hear that ? now you have an opportunity to finally ask her out " , and she started laughing
while we were on our way home i told her that im gonna watch full season of House of the Dragon with 2 bags of chips and a big pepsi and she said that game of thrones is her fav tv show , she saw it 3 times but she cant watch HoD because she doesnt have hbo max
my friend said that im an idiot because that was a sign that i should have invited her to watch HoD together
so should i try to ask her out ?
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Slicker than your average
Banned
At this point In the thread you're either trolling or stupid. You've been told by multiple people Including me multiple times just to ask her out . You lose nothing by asking.
Why you asking for permission on a forum at this stage.
You never ask her out and nothing happens.
You ask her out she says yes or maybe you get some casual sex at least.
She says no and nothing happens - same as never asking her out.
Humdinger
Gold Member
Oh, dear.
You're a 31 year old man, asking a 23 year old girl for a ride home. This looks bad. Given the age difference, you should be "above" her financially/materially, but instead you're coming from below. A guy should be able to drive a girl around; he shouldn't have to bum rides from her.
You're not even asking her yourself, but instead a coworker is asking for you, because "he's too shy to ask." Your colleague has poked fun at you in front of her -- basically saying that you are weak and afraid. She laughed.
You told her that you were going to "watch a full season of House of the Dragon with 2 bags of chips and a big pepsi." I'll bet that really got her motor running.
Yeah, just get it over with. My guess is that she sees you as a cute puppy. She likes the way you validate her attractiveness, and that's about it. Hopefully, she'll let you down easy.
Tams
Member
You're an idiot and I'm not even your friend.
She could easily get HBO Max for a month if she really wanted to. Instead she teed it all up for you, and you hit the ball with your head.
You still have a chance with that line, but not for long.
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samoilaaa
Member
ok now im confused , the guy above you said that the thing with House of the dragon and 2 bag of chips turned her off and you are saying that it was a 100% shot , fuck it im just gonna ask her out now
BlackTron
Member
This is horrible, she said she loves the show but can't watch it, you didn't even say "well feel free to join up and watch with me, I'll be at it all night", she pretty much did all the work for you to ask her with no risk really.
It's insane that a friend said you were too afraid to ask and the Hand of God gave you this opportunity, you STILL didn't take it, I was trying to watch this thread safely from afar but I can't even
It's insane that a friend said you were too afraid to ask and the Hand of God gave you this opportunity, you STILL didn't take it, I was trying to watch this thread safely from afar but I can't even
samoilaaa
Member
in my country sexual harrassment isnt a thing , unless something really bad happens , but asking out a coworker isnt a big deal
samoilaaa
Member
well alot of people here said that i have no chance so i just didnt try but i asked her out a couple of minutes ago
EDIT : im watching house of the dragon with beautiful 5'10 girl tomorrow , now im more nervous than before
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Tams
Member
MastAndo
Member
While I still don't think it's advisable to dip in the company ink, much respect to you for taking a chance and getting a positive response. Best of luck to you!
squallheart
Member
Sounds to be more like a crush o.o doesnt hurt to try to get to know her to see where he head is at.
Humdinger
Gold Member
Well, telling women you watch lots of TV while eating junk food doesn't generally turn them on, but it worked in this case, because she used it to set up a possibility. I underestimated her interest. I'm still a little mystified by it, but I'm just going based on what you're describing, so I don't have a full picture. Anyhow, good luck.
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