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ParentGaf OT: Birth, Bib and Beyond
- Thread starter User 100115
- Start date
Septimus Prime
Member
For me, it wasn't so much the arm (although it didn't help) but the part where
she hugs her mom says she loved her so much
I had this a few months ago with a story about a father who was being tried for willful negligence in the death of his baby. I thought about my daughter and just almost lost it. (I'm not including details for obvious reasons.)
Yes, this is now a thing for the rest of your life. Sorry.
Every news article about a missing child that you previously would have given no more than a cursory glance will elicit painful waves of empathy, worry and horrifying "what if that was my child" dark thoughts.
markofhavoc
Member
Yeah, it is like that in about every media for me. Guardians of the Galaxy got me in the part where Drax is talking about his daughter and they have her touch him and feel his emotions and cry, and even as dumb as it is, when the mother held the baby before the blue thing approached. Never would have felt emotion before my daughter was born. I feel like such a sap whenever it happens.
Jive Turkey
Unconfirmed Member
I've never seen one exactly like what you described but there are plenty of games out there that have some kind of sorting. My son has some flashcards that have vehicles on them and while it's not specifically a game we sort them into land, water, and air vehicles. He also just got a game for his birthday that has various zoo animals in different colors so we can sort them as the object of the game (collect all the red animals, collect all the giraffes, collect one of each color). I'd suggest looking at an independent or educational toy store.
Yep. I can't even really get into fiction that deals with the loss of a child (of any age!) or a parent looking at their own mortality knowing their child will grow up without them. Kinda sucks.
Anyone ever taken their kids to a Home Depot kids workshop? I never realized they had them.
I got a bunch of unused kits from Goodwill. My son has been blowing through them. Had to limit him to two a day. Some of the kits are from Lowe's, but it looks like they don't do them anymore.
I got a bunch of unused kits from Goodwill. My son has been blowing through them. Had to limit him to two a day. Some of the kits are from Lowe's, but it looks like they don't do them anymore.
We're in the home stretch now at 30 weeks. Have bought a ton of second hand stuff from a friend so we've stocked the nursery with some good stuff for way below retail.
Also got shafted for our first car seat (Maxi Cosi Pebble Plus) and isofix (2wayfix) base. These things are huge. My Octavia isn't a small car but with the seat behind me I can't fit comfortably in the drivers seat (avg GAF user, 6',1", 17" wang, lol), behind the passenger it must go.
Also been buying a few baby clothes though we are getting gifted a lot. Really difficult to find anything not blue or green with cool shit on it. Wifey in particular can't stand standard "girl" clothes of pink with hearts and flowers and butterflies lol.
So we went for green with tractors
Also got shafted for our first car seat (Maxi Cosi Pebble Plus) and isofix (2wayfix) base. These things are huge. My Octavia isn't a small car but with the seat behind me I can't fit comfortably in the drivers seat (avg GAF user, 6',1", 17" wang, lol), behind the passenger it must go.
Also been buying a few baby clothes though we are getting gifted a lot. Really difficult to find anything not blue or green with cool shit on it. Wifey in particular can't stand standard "girl" clothes of pink with hearts and flowers and butterflies lol.
So we went for green with tractors
In the UK, car seats are supposed to go behind the passenger seat anyway. If you get a baby mirror, you'll be able to see your little one in your rear view mirror when they're reverse-facing. If the car seat was behind you whilst driving, you wouldn't be able to keep an eye on them.
Steeped in a Sea of Games
Member
Yup. The end when Yondu touches Quill's face, just wanting to feel that bond you have with a young child again... I fucking lost it. Like, I do the cliche 'sneak into my kids room while their asleep just to admire how beautiful they are' all the time and that just hit too close to home.
Before being a parent, I might have found it really cheesy. Watching them grow up makes me so happy and proud, but I dread the day when they have to leave me. Maybe that'll change when they're awful teenagers.
That's a great idea until you have more than one child though lol. Baby was always going behind the passenger seat for that exact reason, but I'm not looking forward to getting another in a couple of years and having to drive like the giant guy in a mini from The Simpsons.
Septimus Prime
Member
We have a Maxi Cosi and a Nuna Rava. The latter, while it looks and feels bigger, actually takes up less space from seat back to seat back.
We're in the home stretch now at 30 weeks. Have bought a ton of second hand stuff from a friend so we've stocked the nursery with some good stuff for way below retail.
Also got shafted for our first car seat (Maxi Cosi Pebble Plus) and isofix (2wayfix) base. These things are huge. My Octavia isn't a small car but with the seat behind me I can't fit comfortably in the drivers seat (avg GAF user, 6',1", 17" wang, lol), behind the passenger it must go.
Also been buying a few baby clothes though we are getting gifted a lot. Really difficult to find anything not blue or green with cool shit on it. Wifey in particular can't stand standard "girl" clothes of pink with hearts and flowers and butterflies lol.
So we went for green with tractors
I would say you should be fine at 6ft1 with someone behind you - I'm 6ft4 and when I ran my Octavia I put the seat forward a couple of notches if someone sat behind me, no problems. Must be the wang...
And good luck with the neutral colours - white is a safe bet, but otherwise you'll slide into pink without realising it...
In 2 years they should be in a forward-facing seat that doesn't take up as much room - that's when they move behind the driver and new baby goes in the passenger seat.
Ideally, they'll stay rear-facing longer than that. Sweden, which has [some of?] the lowest child crash fatality rates in the world recommends that kids remain rear-facing until at least age 4.
Unfortunately, regardless of how far forward we push the seats in our second car, there's no way a larger rear-facing car seat will fit (we're using the Combi Coccoro, which is possibly the smallest rear-facing/convertible car seat that even fits 2-3 year olds), so we'll have to switch over in that vehicle soon. Thankfully, our primary vehicle has a little more space.
Septimus Prime
Member
I don't see how you could possibly make that fit. I tried to put my 3-year old niece in my son's rear-facing, convertible car seat, and her legs just flat out didn't fit, regardless the recline settings. I had to swap the seat position to forward-facing to make that work.
Skellig Gra
Member
Seriously, my son who is 14 months old is already getting pretty cramped. At 4 he'll have his legs hanging over the headrest.
H.Protagonist
[-_-]/
My kid still fits in her 3-6 month old onsies. It's like zipping up a sausage, but still.
Septimus Prime
Member
We have button ones.
Fuck buttons.*
I love zippers.
For daily wear, though, we switched to discrete shirt and pants now, but we still use onesies and rompers for nighttime.
*Buttons for bibs, on the other hand, are great! Fuck velcro.
Unfortunately, most US car seats just aren't made to be fit 3-5 year olds rear-facing. Part of that is due to differences in government standards between Sweden and the US (Sweden allows for a bar that attaches to the footwell, the US does not, IIRC), but part of it is just design choice by the manufacturers (part of a vicious cycle with customer preference).
H.Protagonist
[-_-]/
Buttons are the worst. Why anyone thought/thinks buttons are a good idea for kids I'll never understand. They're all buttons here in the UK. I miss the common sense of OZ. That's why I keep returning to the Bonds zipper onsies even when she's obviously popping out of them now. And dress them in real clothes? Never! Onsies4Lyfe.
As for bibs, nothing works on Mia anymore. The clever little thing can undo even complex clasps. Buttons, velcro, ties, zippers... Nothing stays on anymore. Luckily she's much more precise feeding herself now.
hey_monkey
Banned
My god. My child is not a teen. He is not even a preteen. How does he look so grown up?
Couldn't say, but that's a damn fine head of hair he's got!
hey_monkey
Banned
I stoically defend him against all grandparents who disapprove of his hair.
With a passenger behind I'm fine, it's just the baby seat comes so far forward. Even if I were not using the 2wayfix (so fast btw) its still snug for me. I'm packing some junk in my trunk that might not help, but still.
Also, as per the latest I-Size regs, I think the kids have to be rear facing until at least 15 months and recommended till 4 years. As long as they fit then fine, but we'll have to see. Those regs are running concurrently with the previous anyway.
Septimus Prime
Member
We're lucky that he doesn't mind clothing or bibs. He just likes to take off hats; shoes; socks; and anything we put on his face, like sunglasses. I just hate velcro bibs because when you wash them, they get caught on other clothes, and then the velcro wears out after a few washes. Buttons at least don't do that.
On another note, we did our first dentist visit last week, and the dentist recommended brushing with toothpaste, so that's new.
Vincent Grayson
Member
New difficulty unlocked:
As of tomorrow, both my children are middle school students, and my oldest is officially a teenager.
As of tomorrow, both my children are middle school students, and my oldest is officially a teenager.
BriareosGAF
Member
Lord, congratulations. Our eldest is just about to turn 13 and it has been the most exasperating part of child-rearing by far.
I am 37 years old and our first child, a girl, is due on July 16th. The stress and pressure is really starting to settle in now. The pregnancy is going by so fast, we are now to our weekly appointments with the doctor. She could realistically be born at any time and be just fine now. I don't think I've ever been as nervous over anything in my entire life.
Still, I can't wait though.
Anyone else here wait until close to my age before having your first kid?
Still, I can't wait though.
Anyone else here wait until close to my age before having your first kid?
hey_monkey
Banned
Not I, but I know plenty of people at work (I am in academia) who did. Friends just adopted and they are both over 40.
H.Protagonist
[-_-]/
I was 34 when I had my first, but was more blase about it all. I wanted kids but wasn't really baby hunger or crazy or anything. The only real stress was thinking about the actual birthing part and waiting for it to get underway. Felt like I was on a slow moving roller coaster climbing that first rise to no return. It is exciting to finally see the thing you guys made together, though! Might recommend you bring an earplug (just for the ear facing your partner) for the car ride to the hospital. I think I made my husband's ears bleed.
Yup, I was a little younger than you when we had our first and I'll be a little older when we have our second, if all goes well. I don't remember having all that much anxiety beforehand. But maybe that's just in retrospect, compared to all the stress and pressure during childbirth and raising a baby.
Congrats!
CrudeDiatribe
Member
36 and our first is due around the same time. Weekly visits with the midwife start in two weeks. I (not the mother) feel like I ought to be more terrified than I am.
hey_monkey
Banned
GAF, our doctor has recommended I have my daughter, who is four, tested for autism spectrum disorders. I am not handling it well, mostly because we don't have a lot of resources and I'm now instantly worried that she will need some sort of therapy that we cannot easily afford and then how do I live with guilt if I can't give my child what she needs?
which is very cart way in front of the horse but I deal with anxiety issues already so par for the course. I just wondered if anyone had any advice?
which is very cart way in front of the horse but I deal with anxiety issues already so par for the course. I just wondered if anyone had any advice?
H.Protagonist
[-_-]/
Dude, congrats! And don't stress. At this age it's like anything else: you just roll with it.
I'm sorry to hear that, hm. I know it seems like a lot to handle right now, but if she does need a bit of assistance, I know there's some government aid available, and numerous private aid groups that can help alleviate some of the costs (my uncle's nephew has autism). Just take it one step at a time. Go for the tests, see what's what, and then move on from there. We're also always here to talk to if you need it.
Violence Jack
Member
I'm 36 and having our first kid in October. Seems like it was only yesterday when my wife told me the news in late January. Congrats by the way.
35 for me. You'll be fine. What you lack in youth you make up for in life experience.
Relax and enjoy it.
Looking after a baby is "hard" in the sense that it requires effort and sleep disruption, but it's "easy" in the sense that you aren't wrestling a grizzly bear or solving quantum physics equations. You feed them, you clean them, you cuddle them.
We wouldn't be here today if uneducated stone-age people couldn't manage the task while living in freezing cold caves. So you'll be fine!
Jive Turkey
Unconfirmed Member
Congratulations! I hope everything goes well!
I was 35 when my son was born. The only real issue I had was sleep deprivation. When I was younger I could have gone on 2-3 hours a day without a problem but now I need at least 5 and even then I'm a little fuzzy.
Now I'm 38 and my wife and I are planning for our second. While it should be easier due to having experience, I can see a whole bunch of new challenges on the horizon...
hey_monkey
Banned
Thank you. It's hard not to worry. She's such a bright, independent, sweet child. It's hard to imagine anything like this, but of course anything "weird" would just be normal for us because it's our lives.
Don't forgot that Autism is a wide, wide spectrum. It's not a set, prescribed diagnosis that guarantees your child a life of unhappiness. Far from it.
Trust me, as a teacher, I work with kids on the spectrum all day. Yes, a small amount require a hell of a lot of support and guidance and will do for the rest of their lives.
But there are many others that you wouldn't even realise that they are any different from other kids apart from needing the occasional bit of differentiation such as needing a specific set of clear, prescribed class rules stuck into their planner for them to consult, or quietly explaining to them why another student was offended by what they thought was a harmless joke... which again, isn't a phenomenon exclusive to autistic children.
And boy, some of these kids have extraordinary abilities and aptitudes that far exceed the occasional bit of social guidance and assistance that they need.
As other people have said, one step at a time. As a fellow anxiety bunny, I appreciate how hard it is to not project 18 steps ahead and freak out entirely though.
Thanks for the kind words guys! I'm not even so much nervous about the concept of us now having a baby as I am with my wife quitting her full time job! After my wife finally told her boss her plans to quit, her boss actually offered to buy her a company laptop and be able to work completely from home at least part time. We also do eBay on the side which should almost make up for her income once more time is spent on it, so I know we will be ok, but it still scares me
I have had crap energy for years so I finally got tested for low T a few months ago and just started that treatment, so hopefully I start to feel a lot better here pretty soon. I'm trying to get everything in order.
But to be honest, I guess the baby itself makes me at least a little nervous. We can't wait though and couldn't be happier. It's...a good nervous, haha.
I have had crap energy for years so I finally got tested for low T a few months ago and just started that treatment, so hopefully I start to feel a lot better here pretty soon. I'm trying to get everything in order.
But to be honest, I guess the baby itself makes me at least a little nervous. We can't wait though and couldn't be happier. It's...a good nervous, haha.
hey_monkey
Banned
Thank you, this is so helpful, all the way down. I've been really busy today and it's helped to have other things to concentrate on, but now as I'm winding down, this is really comforting to hear. I appreciate it more than you know.
Septimus Prime
Member
Went to the theater with him tonight. I was hoping not to be those people with the annoying baby, but he was surprisingly very good!
Been there, done that. It's hilarious when you think about it!
"You gained Stealth +5"
Congrats - development of ninja-esq skills is very satisfying.
In other news, I'm quite hungover. I feel like Jack Black in School of Rock.
Until you kick a noisy toy on your way out the room.
Or step on a Lego and have to muffle the agonised groans.
BriareosGAF
Member
Successfully placing a swaddled baby in a crib and extracting your arm without waking them was basically the closest thing I'll ever get to bomb defusal.
Snake would be proud.
Skellig Gra
Member
Haha, A+ work