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[Mudkips]

so gaf, you just get out of work/class and you go home

you call up your honey and shit and warm her up for sex that night, and then you unwind with some delicious cereal

then you remember you are lactose intolerant and you gotta use the little boy's room

so you're sitting there enjoying yourself, each payload loosening the weight of the world on your shoulders and then boom

the horror

you get splashed by some gross toilet water

forget global warming, forget pointless war and death and famine and all that liberal bullshit

when are we gonna solve toilet water splashing your ass? answer me that scientific community

Oh it's this thread again.

I take a string of toilet paper and run it from the side of the seat closet to the toilet paper roll to the other side (underneath the seat on the roll side, on top on the other side).

When the turd drops, it hits the line and the descent is slowed as the paper pulls more from the toilet paper roll.

Here, I made a this.

 

[crazy monkey]

Oh it's this thread again.

such a waste of resources.

 

[Mudkips]

such a waste of resources.

I pay for the toilet paper I'm gonna use it however the fuck I want.
It's 100% renewable too.

 

[Kinyou]

What the fuck kind of an alien toilet is that?

Is this maybe a european thing? I thought those were pretty common.

Normal toilet:

Washout pan toilet:

The water at B is usually much, much lower so there isn't a possibility of getting splashed

 

[crazy monkey]

I pay for the toilet paper I'm gonna use it however the fuck I want.
It's 100% renewable too.

in your technique do you hold the other end of toilet paper by hand? or press it under leg? some times you poop liquidish and it is all over so it might not work. some time the bigger log can also affect it as the log might not have enough space to come out and it will go back it from bounce of paper

 

[FreeMufasa]

It's worse when you take a quick piss before hand and the splash back from your log hits your face.

 

[Huevos de Oro]

The water at B is usually much, much lower so there isn't a possibility of getting splashed

I don't understand that cross section diagram! Where is the poo going to fall down in the toilet shown below? D:

 

[magicstop]

Dude, I've had worse. Splash-back from your own toilet is pretty gross. Splash-back from a public outhouse is WAYYYY worse. Camping last year, I have to take a slam. I go to the public shitter, which is 4 walls, a ceiling, and a raised up surface with a hole. Down below is an open cess pit of turds, piss, and squirts.
I drop my firm, bomb-like poos off, and KABLOOOM. From 8-feet below, fucking shit-juice comes rocketing up and hits me in the ass, the arm, the soul.

I was fucking grossed out, to be sure. Worse part was, no showers in the area....

 

[Kentpaul]

I scrunch up lots of paper and drop it down before i sit on the throne.

A splash back can be pretty refreshing but i do avoid them at costs.

 

[Kinyou]

I don't understand that cross section diagram! Where is the poo going to fall down in the toilet shown below? D:

It falls right on B. So like I said, it looks like on a dinner plate....

 

[Huevos de Oro]

It falls right on B. So like I said, it looks like on a dinner plate....

Ew. I had to wiki that toilet to fully understand.

A German style reverse flush toilet which holds the excrement out of the water. This could be to make inspection easier, to reduce splashing, or just tradition. It greatly increases associated odor and may require a brushing after use.

I think I'll keep my splashed ass cheeks.

 

[Al-ibn Kermit]

Wow at the ideas people have of making shit condoms/pillows with toilet paper.

The easy solution is to use a squatting toilet, or if you've got strong butt muscles you could try shitting slower.

 

[freenudemacusers]

Eat more fiber ffs people.

 

[Mudkips]

in your technique do you hold the other end of toilet paper by hand? or press it under leg? some times you poop liquidish and it is all over so it might not work. some time the bigger log can also affect it as the log might not have enough space to come out and it will go back it from bounce of paper

You place the other end under the seat, and it is held in place by the seat.
If the seat does not contact the top of the bowl near the side, I guess you could brace it to the side of the bowl with your leg. It's not like you need much pressure.

And no, I don't sometimes poop liquidish.

If the log is long enough to reach the paper while still being held completely by your ass, then it's already close enough to the water to not make a splash. Worst case scenario the center of mass of the turd will be halfway between the water and your puckering anus. You're not gonna get a splash that reaches your ass from that. (And if the turd is long enough to hit the water before leaving your ass, you'll get a gentle sinking, or even a coiling, not a splashing.)

Trust me. I have invested much time and thought into this.

 

[X26]

at home I don't care, elsewhere I hover and don't have to worry about it

 

[Kinyou]

Ew. I had to wiki that toilet to fully understand.

I think I'll keep my splashed ass cheeks.

Well you can flush right after you dropped your black banana when you want the odor to stay to a minimum. Of course it then looses any water saving effect.