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Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already

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L

Lulubop

Member
You already asked and she turned you down, that should have been it. Now you're just waiting, being her friend in hopes that maybe one day she'll want to be with you. You're literally waiting around for months at a time, bro come on now. You can be pursuing so many other options, cut it out.
 
J

JadedWriter

Member
Gero said:
I'm going to try this out, so prepare for an interesting story.

I have huge crush on someone I met since my senior year, she was a freshman back then. I started talking to her once her older sister graduated and she was becoming a senior. During the whole time she was a senior, we hanged out and everything. Got her a job at my workplace. This is where it gets ugly, I asked out in December and told me she saw as a brother. Oh well, right? Well, after some time it felt like that never happened and we were hanging out normally. July comes around and she finally tells she's seeing someone else and was crying when she told me that. A couple of weeks later we went to the lake and I told her how I really felt and she said "Have you ever liked two people at the same time," interestingly enough she broke up with him for my sake (I didn't know at the time she just told me that a few months ago). For the whole summer we hanged out and I cuddled with her for a few nights. This one night, I kind of went a little too far and had my hands somewhere where they shouldn't be, she didn't stopped me though. We even slept together at hotel for a few nights. Her mom even joked around by saying if I wanted to be her son in law. By September, she was trying her best to keep her distance from me and I noticed by the way she started hanging out with other guys. In February, I finally decided to get her side of the story as to why she will let me cuddle with her and not go out with her. She had the balls to say it was all in my head and that she doesn't recalled us cuddling. She decides not to talk to me. Recently, we started talking again and now she seems to forget what she did to me because one night she drank and said "I'm lucky to have you as a friend." That really angered me because not only does it seem she really doesn't care about me but my feelings for her can't seem to go away.

I'm considering just not being her friend cause I don't want to keep having feelings for her even though there is no chance. And no, we haven't kissed or anything more than that one night. But there is a chance of being her friend and just stop having feelings for her, but that's hard. At one point I thought I could do it but my feelings returned as soon as I started talking to her. Really I don't know what to do.
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She's emotionally erratic so don't even bother with her anymore.
 
Johnny Cage In The Shower

Johnny Cage In The Shower

Member
What's the best way (excuse) to get her to stop texting you too much when you're busy? without sounding like a jerk or being indifferent etc.

she texts too much about silly things, I kinda want to just get on with my evening and not text until we see each other again...
 
J

JadedWriter

Member
Johnny Cage In The Shower said:
What's the best way (excuse) to get her to stop texting you too much when you're busy? without sounding like a jerk or being indifferent etc.

she texts too much about silly things, I kinda want to just get on with my evening and not text until we see each other again...
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I'm sure I'll be corrected on this, but just tell her you're currently busy and that you'll talk to her the next time you see her. Probably add a :) or some shit.
 
M

MogCakes

Member
Gero said:
Literally slept together, I wake up and she has her head on my chest.
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Aw dude....going to bed with each other has the implication of sex woven into it, you probably missed your chance there if there was any to begin with. Anyway, that whole exchange screams one-sided affections, so you should really drop it.
 
G

gaiages

Banned
jimmypython said:
It's not dating related but

at starbucks:

after ordering
me: hmm it's nice out i might sit outside
girl barista: well you can sit wherever you like you don't need to tell me I'm not the police.

this almost feels like i am talking to someone online. she must have had a bad day. :(
Click to expand...

Sounds like me when I was in customer service
fuck food and retail

Gero said:
What if I told you, the one she broke up is even older than me...
Click to expand...

Sounds like she still doesn't like you!

Gooch: The Destroyer said:
Dating Age |OT7| Gotta use the Power move


Anyway, what's up, Dating Age?
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Welcome back

Johnny Cage In The Shower said:
What's the best way (excuse) to get her to stop texting you too much when you're busy? without sounding like a jerk or being indifferent etc.

she texts too much about silly things, I kinda want to just get on with my evening and not text until we see each other again...
Click to expand...

My SO does this a lot, I just kinda... ignore them... >.> And respond to anything of importance way later.

I mean if you're at work or doing something you've stated you're doing then she can't really get mad if you're not responding to ever cat GIF she sends.
 
V

vern

Member
Johnny Cage In The Shower said:
What's the best way (excuse) to get her to stop texting you too much when you're busy? without sounding like a jerk or being indifferent etc.

she texts too much about silly things, I kinda want to just get on with my evening and not text until we see each other again...
Click to expand...

It makes me smile seeing your messages and I'm not ignoring you, just super busy with work. How about we chat more over drinks on Friday.


If she has a problem with you having a work and life outside of her and your cell phone then you should probably find a different girl.
 
G

Gero

Member
MogCakes said:
Aw dude....going to bed with each other has the implication of sex woven into it, you probably missed your chance there if there was any to begin with. Anyway, that whole exchange screams one-sided affections, so you should really drop it.
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I would have but not when you have five other people in the room... It was a suite with one bed but there was no wall separating the room. She could have slept with her younger brother but she gave me permission to sleep with her.

I do feel bad for her cause she recently was taking advantage when she was drinking. But I also feel like it's karma...
 
Z

ZackieChan

Member
How can people say the friend zone doesn't exist - we've got living proof right here. Sorry bro! Move on from your crush.

In fact, you showing some backbone and not putting up with her shit may make you even more attractive to her. Not make you look like a brother, which I'm sure is because you don't assert yourself romantically. Seems like you're putting it all on her, and she ain't interested. So it'll never go anywhere.
 
G

gaiages

Banned
Gero said:
I would have but not when you have five other people in the room... It was a suite with one bed but there was no wall separating the room. She could have slept with her younger brother but she gave me permission to sleep with her.

I do feel bad for her cause she recently was taking advantage when she was drinking. But I also feel like it's karma...
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Ew, that's disgusting bro

No one deserves to be harassed/assaulted/whatever happened because she decided to allow you to sleep in the same bed as her and implied an interest or whatever

So I suggest you drop that line of thinking like ASAP
 
G

Gero

Member
gaiages said:
Ew, that's disgusting bro

No one deserves to be harassed/assaulted/whatever happened because she decided to allow you to sleep in the same bed as her and implied an interest or whatever

So I suggest you drop that line of thinking like ASAP
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Sorry. Sometimes I just don't think straight. Like I feel bad, but it could have been avoided. What's worse is she came to me to talk about it.
 
G

gaiages

Banned
Gero said:
Sorry. Sometimes I just don't think straight. Like I feel bad, but it could have been avoided. What's worse is she came to me to talk about it.
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Well I mean she sees you like a brother, I'm not surprised she came to talk to you about it.

And most things of that nature can be avoided if assaulters were, like, not sociopaths but that's the world we live in, victim blaming is pretty no bueno.
 
G

Gero

Member
gaiages said:
Well I mean she sees you like a brother, I'm not surprised she came to talk to you about it.

And most things of that nature can be avoided if assaulters were, like, not sociopaths but that's the world we live in, victim blaming is pretty no bueno.
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Frankly, I regret not doing anything about it. I was there when it happened and it was a friend that also used to like her. He stopped being friends with her for the same reason. But the day it happened, I noticed things were off and he took her into her room. I just didn't have the guts to do anything, I didn't know if it was my right. Really I didn't know what was going on until she told me the next day. Of course, she doesn't blame me for not doing anything. It was around the time she just started talking to me again after not wanting to see me.
 
L

LookAtMeGo

Member
notaskwid said:
Congrats?
Click to expand...
Thanks buddeh!

Ah fuck. A bit ago I was talking about a relationship that I fucked up and tried to go back on it. Didnt work out. She started seeing someone else. Well I guess that guy turned out to be a psycho and this morning after actually having a dream about her needing my help, she sent me a text asking if she could stay with me for a bit. I said sure.

At this point I am just concerned for her and am not using this as an oppertunity to get back with her but god damn. My life is hilarious.
 
S

SmackDaddy

Member
my shanghai princess just dumped me. Not really sad about it though. Chugged some makers and ready to face the music.

I hope it doesn't set in hard tomorrow. For now, I'm ready to move on and grow from this.
 
S

SmackDaddy

Member
vern said:
Nah zackie can't get with Chinese girls actually, he has no game here oddly enough. I'm the primary anti shanghai-girl gaffer I do believe.
Click to expand...

my first shanghai girl experience reflected the opinion I've heard on here before. Definitely got the vibe she just wants to be pampered. Well, she just kinda straight up said that. Not much respect for that here. Gonna try my hardest to not make generalizations though D:
 
L

LookAtMeGo

Member
NateDrake said:
Where did you find such a thing? Does it taste good?
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I dunno meng. I havent tried it yet.. im tempted to now but im not positive if shits goong down so I dont want to waste it.

But god damn. When that tinder notification goes off when you are chillin with someone. Not a good look.
 
V

vern

Member
SmackDaddy said:
my first shanghai girl experience reflected the opinion I've heard on here before. Definitely got the vibe she just wants to be pampered. Well, she just kinda straight up said that. Not much respect for that here. Gonna try my hardest to not make generalizations though D:
Click to expand...

Shanghai girls have lived their whole lives being pampered. Single child plus incredible wealth will do that to a person...
 
M

Miles Quaritch

Member
Gero said:
Frankly, I regret not doing anything about it. I was there when it happened and it was a friend that also used to like her. He stopped being friends with her for the same reason. But the day it happened, I noticed things were off and he took her into her room. I just didn't have the guts to do anything, I didn't know if it was my right. Really I didn't know what was going on until she told me the next day. Of course, she doesn't blame me for not doing anything. It was around the time she just started talking to me again after not wanting to see me.
Click to expand...

Encourage her to go to the police.
 
N

NateDrake

Member
LookAtMeGo said:
I dunno meng. I havent tried it yet.. im tempted to now but im not positive if shits goong down so I dont want to waste it.

But god damn. When that tinder notification goes off when you are chillin with someone. Not a good look.
Click to expand...

lol. I could have used that type of thing a week ago. Went to the beach at night with a girl I just recently started dating. Not many people go to this location, so we took a walk along the water and then sat on a down tree to listen to the waves. Somehow that led to us having sex on the beach but I wasn't at my best because she was loud and I was afraid someone would hear and find us. I was too distracted by the worry of being caught.
 
M

MegaManTrigger

Banned
Took a huge step forward and asked someone out (haven't done so in two years, and only sporadically did it since high school) after what I thought was interest expressed. Got dropped with the "wanna be best friends" bomb. I'm used to it at this point to where it doesn't really bother me, but fuck me if it doesn't sting like iodine on an open scar. So I'm just letting the momentum die and putting it behind me.

Shit luck continues going 0/X at 24yo (I've seriously lost count at this point). Just curious if there's ever been anyone that had a string of shit luck and what they did to bring themselves out of the hole. Ngl, my confidence is shot and was already pretty low prior to that (disability via use of cochlear implant) and had to do a lot of mental exercises to get it back up.
 
S

SmackDaddy

Member
MegaManTrigger said:
Took a huge step forward and asked someone out (haven't done so in two years, and only sporadically did it since high school) after what I thought was interest expressed. Got dropped with the "wanna be best friends" bomb. I'm used to it at this point to where it doesn't really bother me, but fuck me if it doesn't sting like iodine on an open scar. So I'm just letting the momentum die and putting it behind me.

Shit luck continues going 0/X at 24yo (I've seriously lost count at this point). Just curious if there's ever been anyone that had a string of shit luck and what they did to bring themselves out of the hole. Ngl, my confidence is shot and was already pretty low prior to that (disability via use of cochlear implant) and had to do a lot of mental exercises to get it back up.
Click to expand...

you're doing the right thing man. I've had butt dirt luck the past couple years sporadically, and what makes me feel like I'm in the zone is really getting back to what I love to do for myself, and not what I feel other people want for me.

Getting in touch with nature, making my friends laugh, having good days at work led me forward with the confidence I needed to go on good dates.

Also, don't wait to perceive interest from another person. Someone floats your boat? Ask them out ASAP. Wait to catch feelings after a couple dates.
 
J

JadedWriter

Member
MegaManTrigger said:
Took a huge step forward and asked someone out (haven't done so in two years, and only sporadically did it since high school) after what I thought was interest expressed. Got dropped with the "wanna be best friends" bomb. I'm used to it at this point to where it doesn't really bother me, but fuck me if it doesn't sting like iodine on an open scar. So I'm just letting the momentum die and putting it behind me.

Shit luck continues going 0/X at 24yo (I've seriously lost count at this point). Just curious if there's ever been anyone that had a string of shit luck and what they did to bring themselves out of the hole. Ngl, my confidence is shot and was already pretty low prior to that (disability via use of cochlear implant) and had to do a lot of mental exercises to get it back up.
Click to expand...
I have had a defunct love life since my break up last year, wasn't great before that either. I'm socially awkward, which is evident in my post history here. Just twice to learn from every mess up.
 
A

always crazy bacon

Banned
MegaManTrigger said:
Took a huge step forward and asked someone out (haven't done so in two years, and only sporadically did it since high school) after what I thought was interest expressed. Got dropped with the "wanna be best friends" bomb. I'm used to it at this point
Click to expand...

You're waiting far too long to ask these girls out. Ask them quicker, be more spontanious, take risks and you'll get less of those replies.
 
P

Peltz

Member
Gero said:
I'm going to try this out, so prepare for an interesting story.

I have huge crush on someone I met since my senior year, she was a freshman back then. I started talking to her once her older sister graduated and she was becoming a senior. During the whole time she was a senior, we hanged out and everything. Got her a job at my workplace. This is where it gets ugly, I asked out in December and told me she saw as a brother. Oh well, right? Well, after some time it felt like that never happened and we were hanging out normally. July comes around and she finally tells she's seeing someone else and was crying when she told me that. A couple of weeks later we went to the lake and I told her how I really felt and she said "Have you ever liked two people at the same time," interestingly enough she broke up with him for my sake (I didn't know at the time she just told me that a few months ago). For the whole summer we hanged out and I cuddled with her for a few nights. This one night, I kind of went a little too far and had my hands somewhere where they shouldn't be, she didn't stopped me though. We even slept together at hotel for a few nights. Her mom even joked around by saying if I wanted to be her son in law. By September, she was trying her best to keep her distance from me and I noticed by the way she started hanging out with other guys. In February, I finally decided to get her side of the story as to why she will let me cuddle with her and not go out with her. She had the balls to say it was all in my head and that she doesn't recalled us cuddling. She decides not to talk to me. Recently, we started talking again and now she seems to forget what she did to me because one night she drank and said "I'm lucky to have you as a friend." That really angered me because not only does it seem she really doesn't care about me but my feelings for her can't seem to go away.

I'm considering just not being her friend cause I don't want to keep having feelings for her even though there is no chance. And no, we haven't kissed or anything more than that one night. But there is a chance of being her friend and just stop having feelings for her, but that's hard. At one point I thought I could do it but my feelings returned as soon as I started talking to her. Really I don't know what to do.
Click to expand...

Oh BROTHER!

Jerk off and move on
 
B

Baron von Loathsome

Member
Haloid1177 said:
Two people drunk texting each other is a really not great idea all around, I know this is a shocking development.
Click to expand...

p0DGh6k.png
 
L

Llyranor

Member
Gero said:
I have huge crush on someone I met since my senior year, she was a freshman back then. I started talking to her once her older sister graduated and she was becoming a senior.
Click to expand...
So you were already crushing on her for 4 whole years?
Got her a job at my workplace.
Click to expand...
Why is this relevant? Nice guy (tm) points?
I asked out in December and told me she saw as a brother.
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Wait, so she turned you down. So why is the rest of the story still so long?

Come one, man, she didn't even friendzone-you, she brotherzoned you. As in, 'the last person I would have sex with is my brother'-zone.
Well, after some time it felt like that never happened and we were hanging out normally.
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What does this mean? She likes to hang out with some guy she labelled her brother. What's the problem?
July comes around and she finally tells she's seeing someone else and was crying when she told me that.
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Tears of joy.

Ok, you know what, I'm not even going to entertain the rest of your novel because there were already enough elements to move on already.
 
M

Messofanego

Banned
LookAtMeGo said:
I dunno meng. I havent tried it yet.. im tempted to now but im not positive if shits goong down so I dont want to waste it.

But god damn. When that tinder notification goes off when you are chillin with someone. Not a good look.
Click to expand...
Lmao why you got your phone on anything but silent when you with someone? Rookie move.
 
A

always crazy bacon

Banned
Messofanego said:
Lmao why you got your phone on anything but silent when you with someone? Rookie move.
Click to expand...

I also learned the hard way, 1st a call that I cut off as it was another woman I was dating. Then another time (with the same girl) I got a message alert so I decided to ignore it and the girl I was with asked why I didn't look at it.

After that, every date I muted the phone. Probably beneficial so you don't keep checking your phone during the date anyway.
 
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