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[LegendofDragoonLives]

I'm going to try this out, so prepare for an interesting story.

I have huge crush on someone I met since my senior year, she was a freshman back then. I started talking to her once her older sister graduated and she was becoming a senior. During the whole time she was a senior, we hanged out and everything. Got her a job at my workplace. This is where it gets ugly, I asked out in December and told me she saw as a brother. Oh well, right? Well, after some time it felt like that never happened and we were hanging out normally. July comes around and she finally tells she's seeing someone else and was crying when she told me that. A couple of weeks later we went to the lake and I told her how I really felt and she said "Have you ever liked two people at the same time," interestingly enough she broke up with him for my sake (I didn't know at the time she just told me that a few months ago). For the whole summer we hanged out and I cuddled with her for a few nights. This one night, I kind of went a little too far and had my hands somewhere where they shouldn't be, she didn't stopped me though. We even slept together at hotel for a few nights. Her mom even joked around by saying if I wanted to be her son in law. By September, she was trying her best to keep her distance from me and I noticed by the way she started hanging out with other guys. In February, I finally decided to get her side of the story as to why she will let me cuddle with her and not go out with her. She had the balls to say it was all in my head and that she doesn't recalled us cuddling. She decides not to talk to me. Recently, we started talking again and now she seems to forget what she did to me because one night she drank and said "I'm lucky to have you as a friend." That really angered me because not only does it seem she really doesn't care about me but my feelings for her can't seem to go away.

I'm considering just not being her friend cause I don't want to keep having feelings for her even though there is no chance. And no, we haven't kissed or anything more than that one night. But there is a chance of being her friend and just stop having feelings for her, but that's hard. At one point I thought I could do it but my feelings returned as soon as I started talking to her. Really I don't know what to do.

When someone friendzones you, tell them you will stop talking and hanging out with them. It's over. Move on and don't bother ever talking with them. Stop doing the "I'm hanging with x person who friendzones me on the hope that one day it turns around". This seems like some movies did this, and people think this happens in real life. I mean it might like 1/10000, but those aren't odds worth it brehski.

Don't consider it. Tell her you're into her and don't want hang out with her again as long as she's not into you. Wish her well and bounce.

 

[gaiages]

Frankly, I regret not doing anything about it. I was there when it happened and it was a friend that also used to like her. He stopped being friends with her for the same reason. But the day it happened, I noticed things were off and he took her into her room. I just didn't have the guts to do anything, I didn't know if it was my right. Really I didn't know what was going on until she told me the next day. Of course, she doesn't blame me for not doing anything. It was around the time she just started talking to me again after not wanting to see me.

I'd recommend getting the police involved.

I'm also hoping you didn't say something akin to that karma comment to her, but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and think you're a bit smarter than that.

That's my strategy for this thread. Keeps me from replying as much as I did in the last thread (I was like 2x anyone else - it was sick).

Well I don't want to be the top poster, get to it bruh

 

[Gotdatmoney]

When someone friendzones you, tell them you will stop talking and hanging out with them. It's over. Move on and don't bother ever talking with them. Stop doing the "I'm hanging with x person who friendzones me on the hope that one day it turns around". This seems like some movies did this, and people think this happens in real life. I mean it might like 1/10000, but those aren't odds worth it brehski.

Don't consider it. Tell her you're into her and don't want hang out with her again as long as she's not into you. Wish her well and bounce.

That's more work than I put in. I just stop talking to them plain and simple after getting turned down. If I ever see em in person "I was busy, life is funny like that rght?".

They get the message pretty quickly and they just seem crazy if they don't accept that response.

 

[always crazy bacon]

That's more work than I put in. I just stop talking to them plain and simple after getting turned down. If I ever see em in person "I was busy, life is funny like that right?".

They get the message pretty quickly and they just seem crazy if they don't accept that response.

Just stop initiating contact.
Ignore contact initiations from them, about 3-4 times is enough.
Look for someone else and don't compare them to previous crush

Done.

 

[Benzychenz]

So I posted here about how I went for brunch with a girl i met on tinder a few days ago.

Had our second date today. Decided to grab burgers then go bowling, she talked shit about how she was primary school champion but I won all three rounds ezpz.
We thought it was too early still to call it a night so went to the cinema 2 minutes down the road.
Saw The Mummy which was pretty shit, but cuddled throughout and then made out for a bit after.

So overall I think it went ok.

 

[always crazy bacon]

So I posted here about how I went for brunch with a girl i met on tinder a few days ago.

Had our second date today. Decided to grab burgers then go bowling, she talked shit about how she was primary school champion but I won all three rounds ezpz.

Seriously, should have gone no more than a draw.

 

[Benzychenz]

Seriously, should have gone no more than a draw.

No mercy.

 

[Gotdatmoney]

Just stop initiating contact.
Ignore contact initiations from them, about 3-4 times is enough.
Look for someone else and don't compare them to previous crush

Done.

Yup.

I don't see why people need to make a big deal out of not talking or hanging with someone. Just duck the fuck out. Easy.

 

[Astral]

I think I beat okc. I got to the end. I just see the same people every day. Bumble is useless and Tinder is just kinda there. Occasional matches but I'm either not attracted to them or they don't respond. Maybe it's time for real life. Not time to go out at the moment though...

 

[MogCakes]

New people join OKC every day. They also leave just as quickly though. You have to be on it pretty much all the time to see the new people

 

[Baron von Loathsome]

New people join OKC every day. They also leave just as quickly though. You have to be on it pretty much all the time to see the new people

That's a bit discouraging.

 

[Kyne]

so can Tinder/Bumble only use facebook for pictures? I don't want to link my facebook to any dating sites.. :\

 

[Xun]

so can Tinder/Bumble only use facebook for pictures? I don't want to link my facebook to any dating sites.. :\

Make a fake Facebook profile since it works perfectly fine.

 

[Neoweee]

That's a bit discouraging.

Other people's brief, flickering period of single-ness or looking isn't any of your concern. People go on and off the market. There's so many out there, that there is no reason to care about those that are no longer using whatever app.

 

[Peltz]

I think I beat okc. I got to the end. I just see the same people every day. Bumble is useless and Tinder is just kinda there. Occasional matches but I'm either not attracted to them or they don't respond. Maybe it's time for real life. Not time to go out at the moment though...

Coincidentally, I finished reading the internet this morning.

 

[Lulubop]

so can Tinder/Bumble only use facebook for pictures? I don't want to link my facebook to any dating sites.. :

No.

They can use whatever, the pics you Got on your phone, Insta, snapchat, downloaded, screenshots, etc.

But you still have to link FB.

 

[always crazy bacon]

That's a bit discouraging.

It's not, its real life reflected. Good women don't stay single for long. You see an opening you go for it. This is the most important dating observation I made back in the early 90's and it's just as true now.

 

[Kyne]

Make a fake Facebook profile since it works perfectly fine.

No.

They can use whatever, the pics you Got on your phone, Insta, snapchat, downloaded, screenshots, etc.

But you still have to link FB.

do you know what information it shares from FB? Why does it need to be linked?

 

[Miles Quaritch]

It's not, its real life reflected. Good women don't stay single for long. You see an opening you go for it. This is the most important dating observation I made back in the early 90's and it's just as true now.

And they tend to use online dating as a last resort or because a close friend had success. (the latter happened to my wife, it's why she was on Tinder. Thank fuck for Shareenah eh.)

 

[always crazy bacon]

And they tend to use online dating as a last resort or because a close friend had success. (the latter happened to my wife, it's why she was on Tinder. Thank fuck for Shareenah eh.)

I get what you're saying but "last resort" isn't quite right. I think about it more like they have heard the horror stories of how men are on dating sites but the friend convinces them it's not that bad. So they have a try and get inundated with thirsty guys and dick pics as expected. Now in this window, if "you" are looking for someone and present yourself well you stand a much higher chance because the dickheads are collectively lowering the bar , BUT you have to be quick before the woman signs out because of the said dickheads.

 

[Gotdatmoney]

do you know what information it shares from FB? Why does it need to be linked?

Shares your friends and interests. Just make a new private fb account. Then there will be nothing to share.

 

[Neoweee]

I get what you're saying but "last resort" isn't quite right. I think about it more like they have heard the horror stories of how men are on dating sites but the friend convinces them it's not that bad. So they have a try and get inundated with thirsty guys and dick pics as expected. Now in this window, if "you" are looking for someone and present yourself well you stand a much higher chance because the dickheads are collectively lowering the bar , BUT you have to be quick before the woman signs out because of the said dickheads.

I agree. "Last Resort" sounds like desperation, but really it is just that the more channels to meet a partner someone has, the more likely they are to better matches on shorter time spans.

The same is true for guys. They should be on apps, but should also spend effort to expand their regular social networks to potentially meet people.

 

[MegaManTrigger]

You're waiting far too long to ask these girls out. Ask them quicker, be more spontanious, take risks and you'll get less of those replies.

Has timing actually made a difference? Because with this one I took less time (2 weeks iirc) to wait in unlike my past experiences which I took months/years to even start asking. Jw because it didn't occur to me.

 

[Neoweee]

Has timing actually made a difference? Because with this one I took less time (2 weeks iirc) to wait in unlike my past experiences which I took months/years to even start asking. Jw because it didn't occur to me.

It helps to have initiative if you're hitting it off with somebody. If it is a delicate situation (work, etc.) then I don't think it is a huge issue. In a friendlier circumstance, or one where your lack of action could be taken as an implicit rejection, then yes it could have been vital. It's definitely better to ask and be done with things than do the dumb HS/undergrad self-friendzoning strategy of waiting wildly too long.

I'm kind of in a similar boat. Chatted with somebody after an activity she's a regular at (I think) for a few minutes. Probably should have gotten her number there, but didn't. That probably just killed any possibility then and there.

 

[always crazy bacon]

Has timing actually made a difference? Because with this one I took less time (2 weeks iirc) to wait in unlike my past experiences which I took months/years to even start asking. Jw because it didn't occur to me.

Yes, because now you know without having spent months/years to get the same answer. You're free to move on.

 

[Neoweee]

Yes, because now you know without having spent months/years to get the same answer. You're free to move on.

100%. It is better to get rejected outright and early than waste any mental energy more than is necessary.

 

[SoldierOfLight]

Alright. This situation I'm currently in is going to sound screwed up in GAFs pov. Maybe someone who's been in a similar situation can help out. I'm open to any feedback.

So short version. I was married 7 years. We had separated 2 years ago because of her not knowing what she wanted. Worked things out and stayed together. Until recently we've split since she cheated on me and left me but just to live on her own. I forgave her but she still chose to leave. Being at my age I don't have time to waste but at the same time if anything comes along and works I'm willing to give it a try. So it did happen. I went out to a Bar twice with a friend since it happened and just talked to girls just because. Nothing else.

Then I got in contact with an old friend and hung out with him at a bar. Met this girl drinking alone and got her #. Didn't think anything of it but texted her a few days later . She replied and that was it. Then again a few days later. Anyway we finally hooked up 2 weeks later. Thing is she has 2 kids with 2 different baby daddies who she shares custody with. I know -_-.
Getting to know her though, she's a lot of what I've looked for in a person, inside and out. We've gone out several times since then and it's been almost perfect, great night's even staying together and what not.
So it's getting serious. I don't have kids since my ex couldn't have any. But I've considered the whole, if this gets serious then I know I'd be a part of her life as well as her kids. This is where I'm clueless... Has anyone taken the role as a step dad here without having children of their own?
It's getting pretty deep but I personally don't see reason to back away.

 

[MegaManTrigger]

100%. It is better to get rejected outright and early than waste any mental energy more than is necessary.

That's what I realized during university. Took me longer than it should've which is pretty embarrassing.

 

[artsi]

Has timing actually made a difference? Because with this one I took less time (2 weeks iirc) to wait in unlike my past experiences which I took months/years to even start asking. Jw because it didn't occur to me.

You don't need weeks, or days, even hours to ask someone out. You just need a minute. It's that simple.

 

[zchen]

Hi guys, first time poster, long time lurker. I didn't think it was going to happen since I pretty lazy went it comes to pursuing but I have met this one twice already and has a third planned out.

Since I'm definitely rookie when it comes to this I have questions.

1. Ideas for dates? Already did coffee 1st, dinner 2nd, and have upcoming lunch/movie; feels like unlocking standard achievements lol. The flow was pretty natural, 1st time I suggested coffee and that was accepted. She paid for the coffee saying because I had to drive long distance to see her; I took her up on that and then used that as opportunity to get the 2nd dinner meeting planned saying I have to repay her for the coffee. Then during that 2nd meeting she suggested seeing a movie together, I took that and texted her later to set that up as lunch+movie.

2. Frequency of dates? She works 6 days a week now so each time I basically texted her and checked with her for availability, don't want to act too pressuring.

3. Can't really get a conversation going via text and I didn't text every day afraid to come off as clingy or too thirsty. But each time we meet in person the conversation seems to flow pretty good talking about what's going on with our lives, backgrounds etc, Nothing much about long term etc. Is not being able to carry text conversation a problem? How much contact should I be shooting for?

4. Physical contact, I didn't do it on 1st and 2nd meetings, but I do plan to get touchy on this meeting coming up. Too early, too late?

5. If I want to take this to a serious direction, how best to talk about that topic?

I'm a pretty introverted person, this whole dating thing makes me feel so uneasy sometimes, I just think too much.

Thank you all.

 

[Neoweee]

Hi guys, first time poster, long time lurker. I didn't think it was going to happen since I pretty lazy went it comes to pursuing but I have met this one twice already and has a third planned out.

Since I'm definitely rookie when it comes to this I have questions.

1. Ideas for dates? Already did coffee 1st, dinner 2nd, and have upcoming lunch/movie; feels like unlocking standard achievements lol. The flow was pretty natural, 1st time I suggested coffee and that was accepted. She paid for the coffee saying because I had to drive long distance to see her; I took her up on that and then used that as opportunity to get the 2nd dinner meeting planned saying I have to repay her for the coffee. Then during that 2nd meeting she suggested seeing a movie together, I took that and texted her later to set that up as lunch+movie.

2. Frequency of dates? She works 6 days a week now so each time I basically texted her and checked with her for availability, don't want to act too pressuring.

3. Can't really get a conversation going via text and I didn't text every day afraid to come off as clingy or too thirsty. But each time we meet in person the conversation seems to flow pretty good talking about what's going on with our lives, backgrounds etc, Nothing much about long term etc. Is not being able to carry text conversation a problem? How much contact should I be shooting for?

4. Physical contact, I didn't do it on 1st and 2nd meetings, but I do plan to get touchy on this meeting coming up. Too early, too late?

5. If I want to take this to a serious direction, how best to talk about that topic?

I'm a pretty introverted person, this whole dating thing makes me feel so uneasy sometimes, I just think too much.

Thank you all.

If she's willing to meet with you again, then it isn't too late. Get touching, though.

Fuck texting. Use texting as just a means to set up next dates.

Don't even think about talking about getting serious until you've been physically intimate for some time. Way, way, way too soon.

tl;dr. Less talking, more doing.

 

[Messofanego]

So I posted here about how I went for brunch with a girl i met on tinder a few days ago.

Had our second date today. Decided to grab burgers then go bowling, she talked shit about how she was primary school champion but I won all three rounds ezpz.
We thought it was too early still to call it a night so went to the cinema 2 minutes down the road.
Saw The Mummy which was pretty shit, but cuddled throughout and then made out for a bit after.

So overall I think it went ok.

Ruthless, love it!

 

[Salamando]

Hi guys, first time poster, long time lurker. I didn't think it was going to happen since I pretty lazy went it comes to pursuing but I have met this one twice already and has a third planned out.

Since I'm definitely rookie when it comes to this I have questions.

1. Ideas for dates? Already did coffee 1st, dinner 2nd, and have upcoming lunch/movie; feels like unlocking standard achievements lol. The flow was pretty natural, 1st time I suggested coffee and that was accepted. She paid for the coffee saying because I had to drive long distance to see her; I took her up on that and then used that as opportunity to get the 2nd dinner meeting planned saying I have to repay her for the coffee. Then during that 2nd meeting she suggested seeing a movie together, I took that and texted her later to set that up as lunch+movie.

2. Frequency of dates? She works 6 days a week now so each time I basically texted her and checked with her for availability, don't want to act too pressuring.

3. Can't really get a conversation going via text and I didn't text every day afraid to come off as clingy or too thirsty. But each time we meet in person the conversation seems to flow pretty good talking about what's going on with our lives, backgrounds etc, Nothing much about long term etc. Is not being able to carry text conversation a problem? How much contact should I be shooting for?

4. Physical contact, I didn't do it on 1st and 2nd meetings, but I do plan to get touchy on this meeting coming up. Too early, too late?

5. If I want to take this to a serious direction, how best to talk about that topic?

I'm a pretty introverted person, this whole dating thing makes me feel so uneasy sometimes, I just think too much.

Thank you all.

1) Best way to get date ideas is to know your city. Is there a zoo? Drag brunch? Hot bingo? Sakura festival? Improv show? The success of the date will hinge on the participants more than the place.

2) There is no global answer here. Date as often/infrequently as the two of you want to. If that's three times a week or every other week, all that matters is the willingness to make it work.

3) Some people just aren't texters. That's not a problem. Most of us would say keeping most of your contact in-person is a good thing. I've had some girls where the extent of our texting was setting up the next date.

4) If she lets you get touchy feely, it's not too early.

5) Don't think about seriousness yet. Just have fun in the present.

 

[gaiages]

Has anyone taken the role as a step dad here without having children of their own?
It's getting pretty deep but I personally don't see reason to back away.

I really don't know why you think the situation is screwed up.

I mean, at the end of the day, all you have to understand is that if you like her, you have to at least tolerate the kids. They're a package deal. Liking them is even better. Just, like... don't be a jerk to them, I suppose.

But I'd recommend pumping the brakes on the whole 'stepdad' thing and cross that bridge when it comes. I don't know how long you and this other lady have been dating, but you're nowhere near that step yet.

 

[SoldierOfLight]

I really don't know why you think the situation is screwed up.

I mean, at the end of the day, all you have to understand is that if you like her, you have to at least tolerate the kids. They're a package deal. Liking them is even better. Just, like... don't be a jerk to them, I suppose.

But I'd recommend pumping the brakes on the whole 'stepdad' thing and cross that bridge when it comes. I don't know how long you and this other lady have been dating, but you're nowhere near that step yet.

You're right. I guess I was just planning ahead since we've talked about living situation and what not. Not that we are moving in together anytime soon, just talked about it.
I need to take it easy I guess. What sucks is I have the opportunity to ride all this out and have fun with a bunch of girls at the same time but I wouldn't want it to affect the way she sees things with us so I'm just really focused on her right now.
I don't really see it as screwed up, it's just this is a whole new ballpark for me. Never considered it until I met her.

 

[Megalosaro]

I also learned the hard way, 1st a call that I cut off as it was another woman I was dating. Then another time (with the same girl) I got a message alert so I decided to ignore it and the girl I was with asked why I didn't look at it.

After that, every date I muted the phone. Probably beneficial so you don't keep checking your phone during the date anyway.

Last weekend I was laying in bed and my parents kept calling me because I was supposed to go to breakfast, but I was blowing them off because there was a beautiful girl next to me. I would text them to stop calling BUT they kept fucking calling.

Wtf mom and dad.

After the fourth call, I turned off my phone.

 

[gaiages]

Last weekend I was laying in bed and my parents kept calling me because I was supposed to go to breakfast, but I was blowing them off because there was a beautiful girl next to me. I would text them to stop calling BUT they kept fucking calling.

Wtf mom and dad.

After the fourth call, I turned off my phone.

That's sorta mean, you could have at least cancelled It's not like they knew you boned someone or something, might have thought you got in an accident.

 

[Megalosaro]

That's sorta mean, you could have at least cancelled It's not like they knew you boned someone or something, might have thought you got in an accident.

I did cancel though. I sent them a text.

But they are so old they don't know how to read texts lol.

 

[ZackieChan]

I also learned the hard way, 1st a call that I cut off as it was another woman I was dating. Then another time (with the same girl) I got a message alert so I decided to ignore it and the girl I was with asked why I didn't look at it.

After that, every date I muted the phone. Probably beneficial so you don't keep checking your phone during the date anyway.

Yep. Muted, and no stupid popup messages, especially not ones that SHOW the message.

Well I don't want to be the top poster, get to it bruh

Trying to funnel a portion of my neogaf time into doing actual work. Or watching Trump news

Has timing actually made a difference? Because with this one I took less time (2 weeks iirc) to wait in unlike my past experiences which I took months/years to even start asking. Jw because it didn't occur to me.

2 weeks? Go with 2 hours or 2 minutes, even, from now on.

I did cancel though. I sent them a text.

But they are so old they don't know how to read texts lol.

Just pick up the damn phone, man, if you know they can't read texts.

 

[gaiages]

I did cancel though. I sent them a text.

But they are so old they don't know how to read texts lol.

Oh, well then yeah, they need to stop being cockblockers ;p

Edit: half joking, I don't think your lady would have mind a quick phone call

Don't be mean to your parents if they aren't jerks, essentially

 

[gaiages]

Trying to funnel a portion of my neogaf time into doing actual work. Or watching Trump news

I don't know which one's more depressing, President Trump stuff or browsing GAF.

 

[JadedWriter]

I don't know which one's more depressing, President Trump stuff or browsing GAF.

GAF can be hilarious, Trump news is just appalling.

 

[Mobile Suit Gooch]

Hey Zackie, do you think what I told you on Instagram about my con and the girl is good enough for this thread?

 

[always crazy bacon]

Hey Zackie, do you think what I told you on Instagram about my con and the girl is good enough for this thread?

Just post it, you don't need to ask permission.

 

[brawly]

Tinder is utter garbage here. I can do about 10-15 likes/dislikes and then it either has to load again or says it finds no one. Other apps are worse because they're less popular (OKC is a wasteland).

The women honestly don't do it for me either. I'll probably delete it again. Waste of time and leaves me feeling worse every time.

 

[Subpar Scrub]

Where you at brawly?

Edit: oh, Switzerland.

Btw looks like I bought a car. Just a clean, 4 door Getz, but because I use my motorbike 90% of the time I can't really justify the BRZ I want

 

[MegaManTrigger]

2 weeks? Go with 2 hours or 2 minutes, even, from now on.

You don't need weeks, or days, even hours to ask someone out. You just need a minute. It's that simple.

I know. It's just that I'm rusty af with my game, so I had to take the time to build up and hype my confidence. Admittedly, that goose egg sticks out a lot mentally than it should. Not that it's an excuse, but it's why I take longer than I should.

 

[Messofanego]

Tinder is utter garbage here. I can do about 10-15 likes/dislikes and then it either has to load again or says it finds no one. Other apps are worse because they're less popular (OKC is a wasteland).

The women honestly don't do it for me either. I'll probably delete it again. Waste of time and leaves me feeling worse every time.

Where the gorgeous Swiss women at?!

 

[always crazy bacon]

I know. It's just that I'm rusty af with my game, so I had to take the time to build up and hype my confidence. Admittedly, that goose egg sticks out a lot mentally than it should. Not that it's an excuse, but it's why I take longer than I should.

You dont need "game" to ask someone out. Whats confidence got to do with that? Scared she'll say no?

 

[AcridMeat]

Less talking, more doing.

Make, this, the, O, T.