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Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already

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Deleted member 10571

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I had a hunch that a lot of girls set their age limit to 30. So I changed my age from 32 to 30 on facebook since there were no more matches near me and holy shit there are hundreds of more profiles lol. I put actual age in the bio tho. But I mean... why the fuck not. Thats a lot of people that wouldnt see my profile and who gives a shit about 2 years anyway.
Tinder

Does Tinder really just show potential people of which you are in their set age range? I'm wondering sometimes 'cause I had a ton of girls showing up age 25ish, despite being 37 years old, and I'm having some trouble believing they actively look for guys that much older.
 

Neoweee

Member
Does Tinder really just show potential people of which you are in their set age range? I'm wondering sometimes 'cause I had a ton of girls showing up age 25ish, despite being 37 years old, and I'm having some trouble believing they actively look for guys that much older.

As far as I know, all of the major & decent apps will only show people for which you fit their specified criteria (Bumble, Tinder, CMB). Why waste time if you don't fit theirs?

Match.com is a complete fucking joke because it will show you everybody, and sort the one-way matches to above the two-way matches. Beyond awful.
 
Ok Neogaf, pretty much everyone here told me I was being friendzoned.

Don't think I'm in the friendzone after a make out session amirite?

While imo in this kind of cases the one who is to blame is the one who has a bf/gf since you are single after all (though I wouldn't be able to do this), you'd better stay away from girls who are in a relationship for your own good. You could end up in trouble if the bf come to know about her cheating him with you.

Also, I don't know how you could trust in having a relationship with this girl after this, you know she cheated his boyfriend (with you, lol) how the hell could you trust her?

I dunno, congrats on the make out I guess, but be careful this doesn't end up blowing in your face.
 

gaiages

Banned
While imo in this kind of cases the one who is to blame is the one who has a bf/gf since you are single after all (though I wouldn't be able to do this), you'd better stay away from girls who are in a relationship for your own good. You could end up in trouble if the bf come to know about her cheating him with you.

Also, I don't know how you could trust in having a relationship with this girl after this, you know she cheated his boyfriend (with you, lol) how the hell could you trust her?

I dunno, congrats on the make out I guess, but be careful this doesn't end up blowing in your face.

It's almost Ray Wonder's original attitude all over again

But hey I'm sure it'll all be okay! No drama or anything is bound to come out of this! All of GAF is wrong! ;p
 
Does Tinder really just show potential people of which you are in their set age range? I'm wondering sometimes 'cause I had a ton of girls showing up age 25ish, despite being 37 years old, and I'm having some trouble believing they actively look for guys that much older.

Dude, they love it.
 
It's almost Ray Wonder's original attitude all over again

But hey I'm sure it'll all be okay! No drama or anything is bound to come out of this! All of GAF is wrong! ;p

Thankfully I've never been through this but I had a couple of close friends in this same exact situation. While they know there would be trouble, they were just too in love (a love that those girl didn't deserve) to think rationally, like, they thought that at least a piece of affection from the girl they loved would be at least better than nothing.
Well, guess what, those girl used them as they wanted, and didn't love either them or their respective boyfriend. And they couldn't even complain, since they knew what they were going into with a girl who is cheating her bf with them.

While I understand that it must be difficult to get out of that (the girl I love is making out with me! I'm are having sex with her! she'll leave her boyfriend soon and we'll be happy ever after, yayy what could go wrong right?) it's better to think rationally and realize that it's almost certainly going to end up bad for you.
 
Does Tinder really just show potential people of which you are in their set age range? I'm wondering sometimes 'cause I had a ton of girls showing up age 25ish, despite being 37 years old, and I'm having some trouble believing they actively look for guys that much older.
I guess some do. The last few girls I dated were 23 and 24 and I'm 32. Both from Tinder.

As far as I know, all of the major & decent apps will only show people for which you fit their specified criteria (Bumble, Tinder, CMB). Why waste time if you don't fit theirs?
I wouldnt say it was a total waste because I've got like 5 or 6 matches since I did that yeaterday and in my bio it says that I'm actually 32. I think that them actually seeing that they find you attractive that they dont really care that youre 32 and not 30.

So if bufbaf was to change his age to 35 to open up more possibilities to people that have their limit set to 35 while stating he is actually 37 in his bio. I dont see much harm in it.
 

gaiages

Banned
Thankfully I've never been through this but I had a couple of close friends in this same exact situation. While they know there would be trouble, they were just too in love (a love that those girl didn't deserve) to think rationally, like, they thought that at least a piece of affection from the girl they loved would be at least better than nothing.
Well, guess what, those girl used them as they wanted, and didn't love either them or their respective boyfriend. And they couldn't even complain, since they knew what they were going into with a girl who is cheating her bf with them.

While I understand that it must be difficult to get out of that (the girl I love is making out with me! I'm are having sex with her! she'll leave her boyfriend soon and we'll be happy ever after, yayy what could go wrong right?) it's better to think rationally and realize that it's almost certainly going to end up bad for you.

Yeah, that situation is sadly common in the name of love. I think a lot of people in that scenario are all like "but she'll/he'll change for me, I just know it!" and when they don't... well, yeah. It's bad news all around.

I mean, anything is possible, but the probable thing is that slaifer is gonna get his heart broken when this bf comes back in September, and we can only hope nothing else gets broken along the way :/
 

Kyne

Member
Anyone here ever use Zoosk?

Like, you can't even message anyone, or see the messages they sent you without 'subscribing' for $30 a month.

A couple of cute girls have messaged me and I'm almost positive that they are bots that the website uses just to make you subscribe. Anyone have any experience with the site/app? Is this shit legit?
 

Stopdoor

Member
So I had a girl reply to me on OkC with something like "I'd like to say yes, but the 'yeah to abortion in accidental pregnancy' is a personal no go" (in a more eloquent way) from the questions it gets you to answer. Sucks because there wasn't really any other hangups with this girl and she spent the effort to reply, I'm always having these last minute hangups on these apps.

Makes me think it's a lifeline to see if I'd be flexible or something since it sounded more personal than moral, but yeah, it's pretty weird to commit to a girl you've never even talked to before with "yeah, I'd commit to fathering your children in an accidental pregnancy". Not sure if she's being a bit too quick or smart in nailing these hard things down before getting invested (or, not invested...? Do people go into hookups ready to father children?). Just made me think.
 

gaiages

Banned
because it's one of the most popular dating sites on the internet. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Could have sworn the most popular dating sites on the internet are things we've actually heard of, like Tinder, OKC, Match, Bumble, CMB, POF, or even region specific apps....

Not Zoosk or whatever it's called. Not trying to be rude, but that sounds like a major scam.

So I had a girl reply to me on OkC with something like "I'd like to say yes, but the 'yeah to abortion in accidental pregnancy' is a personal no go" (in a more eloquent way) from the questions it gets you to answer. Sucks because there wasn't really any other hangups with this girl and she spent the effort to reply, I'm always having these last minute hangups on these apps.

Makes me think it's a lifeline to see if I'd be flexible or something since it sounded more personal than moral, but yeah, it's pretty weird to commit to a girl you've never even talked to before with "yeah, I'd commit to fathering your children in an accidental pregnancy". Not sure if she's being a bit too quick or smart in nailing these hard things down before getting invested (or, not invested...? Do people go into hookups ready to father children?). Just made me think.

I dunno... aren't you thinking a little too far into that answer? An accidental pregnancy isn't really the biggest problem if you practice safe sex, but it's kind of weird to write someone off because of a single answer to a single question on OKC. I mean, you haven't even had a conversation with her, judging her based on an answer to something most people wouldn't even look at is a bit... much, imo.

Just wear a condom and use spermicide or something when you bone her, problem about as solved as you can make it.

EDIT: Wait, YOU asked her something about abortion? It wasn't an OKC answer to a question? Like, why, even?
 

Kyne

Member
Could have sworn the most popular dating sites on the internet are things we've actually heard of, like Tinder, OKC, Match, Bumble, CMB, POF, or even region specific apps....

Not Zoosk or whatever it's called. Not trying to be rude, but that sounds like a major scam.

Oh no, I agree. I looked at a recent ranking list and surprisingly Zoosk had higher traffic count than OkCupid. Who knows man.
 
So I had a girl reply to me on OkC with something like "I'd like to say yes, but the 'yeah to abortion in accidental pregnancy' is a personal no go" (in a more eloquent way) from the questions it gets you to answer. Sucks because there wasn't really any other hangups with this girl and she spent the effort to reply, I'm always having these last minute hangups on these apps.

Makes me think it's a lifeline to see if I'd be flexible or something since it sounded more personal than moral, but yeah, it's pretty weird to commit to a girl you've never even talked to before with "yeah, I'd commit to fathering your children in an accidental pregnancy". Not sure if she's being a bit too quick or smart in nailing these hard things down before getting invested (or, not invested...? Do people go into hookups ready to father children?). Just made me think.

I mean, you could just wear a condom and if it breaks just go and buy a morning after pill (is that what it's called in english?) I don't think you have to worry about abortion as long as you follow those two basic steps (the condom shouldn't even break anyway).

This is such a weird thing to talk and worry about with a girl you don't even know in person yet.
 

Stopdoor

Member
I dunno... aren't you thinking a little too far into that answer? An accidental pregnancy isn't really the biggest problem if you practice safe sex, but it's kind of weird to write someone off because of a single answer to a single question on OKC. I mean, you haven't even had a conversation with her, judging her based on an answer to something most people wouldn't even look at is a bit... much, imo.

Just wear a condom and use spermicide or something when you bone her, problem about as solved as you can make it.

EDIT: Wait, YOU asked her something about abortion? It wasn't an OKC answer to a question? Like, why, even?

No, she was reading one the answers to the built-in questions and replied to me about that (I could get rid of it, but it doesn't seem worth hiding?). I'm not really judging other than reading into the fact she replied at all might mean she's hoping I have more depth to the opinion. Yeah, it's something that should just never even come up anyway, but I'm not sure it's worth salvaging a conversation on a dating app that opens up with that can of worms.

Like, this was literally her first reply to my more interesting equivalent of "hey, what's up?".
 

Scotch

Member
Oh no, I agree. I looked at a recent ranking list and surprisingly Zoosk had higher traffic count than OkCupid. Who knows man.
Maybe they're big in China or India or something? I have never heard of Zoosk either.

Anyway, scam or not, noone should be paying $30 a month for a dating site when there's so many free options out there.
 

brawly

Member
Does Tinder really just show potential people of which you are in their set age range? I'm wondering sometimes 'cause I had a ton of girls showing up age 25ish, despite being 37 years old, and I'm having some trouble believing they actively look for guys that much older.

Isn't it all based on your range? What's your set range?
 

Leeness

Member
Does Tinder really just show potential people of which you are in their set age range? I'm wondering sometimes 'cause I had a ton of girls showing up age 25ish, despite being 37 years old, and I'm having some trouble believing they actively look for guys that much older.

I dunno, when I was on dating sites, I set up to 8 years older in age range, but even 10 years would be fine. I don't think it matters quite as much when you're in your mid to late 20s.
 

FyreWulff

Member
Does Tinder really just show potential people of which you are in their set age range? I'm wondering sometimes 'cause I had a ton of girls showing up age 25ish, despite being 37 years old, and I'm having some trouble believing they actively look for guys that much older.

it shows you people with overlapping age ranges, yes.
 

gaiages

Banned
No, she was reading one the answers to the built-in questions and replied to me about that (I could get rid of it, but it doesn't seem worth hiding?). I'm not really judging other than reading into the fact she replied at all might mean she's hoping I have more depth to the opinion. Yeah, it's something that should just never even come up anyway, but I'm not sure it's worth salvaging a conversation on a dating app that opens up with that can of worms.

Like, this was literally her first reply to my more interesting equivalent of "hey, what's up?".

Oh, that's... weird for her to bring up. Geez.

I mean no harm in see where the conversation goes but that is a weird subject to broach so quickly. If I was in your shoes I'd probably be like "why'd you bring that up lol" but then again I'm kinda rude so yeah
 

Stopdoor

Member
Oh, that's... weird for her to bring up. Geez.

I mean no harm in see where the conversation goes but that is a weird subject to broach so quickly. If I was in your shoes I'd probably be like "why'd you bring that up lol" but then again I'm kinda rude so yeah

Yeah, that's why I thought her replying at all might be a lifeline but it's hard to steer the conversation after that because I'm not really ready to come across pushy or opinionated about abortion to a girl as a first impression. Deflecting is nearly as bad really, so it's a lost cause.
 
Girl I've been seeing has been a bit down last couple days. Think it's work related but I don't want to pry too much this early on.

Gonna take her out somewhere nice for dinner tonight, maybe split a bottle of wine, and won't let her pay a cent.
 

dcelw540

Junior Member
I have a question for tinder, maybe it's just my general area or what not but I can't seem to get any matches. I don't know if it's my age, 20 or if my picture is not good. Just bummed out, it's been offcally over a year since I broke up with my ex and I'm finally able to move on but tinder ain't helping. I don't know if tinder is the right spot or what I should do. I dated my girlfriend for two years and in that time I was in college now that I'm done I don't know how to meet new people around my age.

19227333_648741015330966_6099268570124910592_n.jpg

That's what I look like. I don't know if I'm okay looking or if I'm doing anything wrong.
 
I have a question for tinder, maybe it's just my general area or what not but I can't seem to get any matches. I don't know if it's my age, 20 or if my picture is not good. Just bummed out, it's been offcally over a year since I broke up with my ex and I'm finally able to move on but tinder ain't helping. I don't know if tinder is the right spot or what I should do. I dated my girlfriend for two years and in that time I was in college now that I'm done I don't know how to meet new people around my age.

Tinder sucks.

I've averaged a date like every 6 months with it.

In massive cities I imagine it's great, but even in just a mid size place (200k pop for me) it isn't very good.

But it's such a low effort thing that I still use it anyway.
 

vern

Member
I turned mine all the way up. Surprised how many girls there are that say they are 100.

Don't know about where you are but I found that on Tinder and its equivalent here, if the girl says she's 100 or some other crazy high age that tends to mean she's actually like 16. Be careful.
 
I see you don't discriminate when it comes about the pleasures of the flesh
😏😏😏😏
No discrimination when it comes to pleasures of the flesh. I'm a bit picky about who I get into a relationship with though.

Don't know about where you are but I found that on Tinder and its equivalent here, if the girl says she's 100 or some other crazy high age that tends to mean she's actually like 16. Be careful.
Unless they are too young. 😐

Never heard that but I will be weary.
 

Jzero

Member
I have a question for tinder, maybe it's just my general area or what not but I can't seem to get any matches. I don't know if it's my age, 20 or if my picture is not good. Just bummed out, it's been offcally over a year since I broke up with my ex and I'm finally able to move on but tinder ain't helping. I don't know if tinder is the right spot or what I should do. I dated my girlfriend for two years and in that time I was in college now that I'm done I don't know how to meet new people around my age.

That's what I look like. I don't know if I'm okay looking or if I'm doing anything wrong.
You look fine, that picture's kinda lame but there's other people that really should be worried about how they look. Try OkCupid. Or Bumble BFF if you want friends.
 
I have a question for tinder, maybe it's just my general area or what not but I can't seem to get any matches. I don't know if it's my age, 20 or if my picture is not good. Just bummed out, it's been offcally over a year since I broke up with my ex and I'm finally able to move on but tinder ain't helping. I don't know if tinder is the right spot or what I should do. I dated my girlfriend for two years and in that time I was in college now that I'm done I don't know how to meet new people around my age.

19227333_648741015330966_6099268570124910592_n.jpg

That's what I look like. I don't know if I'm okay looking or if I'm doing anything wrong.

Is that the photo you're using? It's an awful dating profile photo. No one cares about whatever that document is, and the peace sign is lame. Also your shirt is too big - look at the shoulder 😉

You are a good looking dude. Get some other photos where you're smiling, not smirking. Do something cool, hold a cute dog, etc. Photograph it.
 
That moment you're talking to a woman online and she tells you she's not on there to date and you immediately want to respond to her saying "well what the fuck are you on here for then?"
 
That moment you're talking to a woman online and she tells you she's not on there to date and you immediately want to respond to her saying "well what the fuck are you on here for then?"

Thats her choice, maybe she is just looking and getting a feel for the people on there without getting swarmed by thirsty dudes.
 
Thats her choice, maybe she is just looking and getting a feel for the people on there without getting swarmed by thirsty dudes.
She's a woman on a dating website. They all get swarmed by thirsty dudes. I don't even know if I should still be conversational since I stopped talking to her after that message. She went to sleep and wished me luck at "finding love." Also said there's little chance that we would meet.
 
Is that the photo you're using? It's an awful dating profile photo. No one cares about whatever that document is, and the peace sign is lame. Also your shirt is too big - look at the shoulder ��

You are a good looking dude. Get some other photos where you're smiling, not smirking. Do something cool, hold a cute dog, etc. Photograph it.

Oh, man, you mean I can't show my CCNA(when I get it) on Tinder? That won't make the ladies wet?
 
She's a woman on a dating website. They all get swarmed by thirsty dudes. I don't even know if I should still be conversational since I stopped talking to her after that message. She went to sleep and wished me luck at "finding love." Also said there's little chance that we would meet.
You've already expended too much effort and too many words on this one.
Take some advice from DeNiro in Heat (terribly paraphrased here by me) - be ready to walk instantly when the heat (disinterest) appears. It's just not worth the mental effort.

Oh, man, you mean I can't show my CCNA(when I get it) on Tinder? That won't make the ladies wet?

I suggest showing a nearly-filled-out Subway Sub Club card in your main photo
 
God, it was an interesting weekend...

Friday night, I saw Nimesh Patel (like the anti-Aziz and criminally underrated) with Masshole girl. She's traveling for work this week, so if I see her again (that's TBD), it wouldn't be for a while. She's super sweet; we have good chemistry...

Saturday, I traveled up to Baltimore again to see the half-Korean club girl. We had drinks, then dinner, then went to a Pride party with some of her friends. Loved sitting on her stoop smoking a cigarette and drinking beers. Spent the night, as one does, and on Sunday? We slept in, had amazing adult!breakfast in bed, grabbed coffee, and then ... we changed out her older thermostat for a newer electronic Nest one before just watching some TV.

We're decidedly in "we're seeing each other every weekend and alternating cities" territory.

Am I getting relationshipped?
And uh,
I'm honestly 100% okay with this. We're entirely too obnoxious together.

... oh, then today, after I got back from Baltimore, I had lunch with my ex-wife/bff, and we hung out for a while before seeing Hedwig and the Angry Inch. It was seriously so good to catch up with her in person, and while a part of me will always love her, the attraction's completely gone. It felt like hanging out with a sister. Which, I suspect, was always our natural end state.

After that, one of my friends -- Leeness has seen her, lol -- was texting me from EDC in Vegas, and she's trying to get me to go to Tomorrowland in Belgium at the end of July. So, why the fuck not? Discussing options over crabs this weekend, since she can't wait to see me again. It's weird, since we hooked up a couple years ago... who knows. But, why the fuck not?

(Meanwhile, I want to quit my job and travel the world for a year and experience things while I still can.)
 
God, it was an interesting weekend...

Sounds like it was!

In a weird rut dating gaf... Just not attracted to anyone really at the moment. I can see pretty girls and just ignore them, don't want to talk, get their contact, nothing. I think I need to expand my circle of potential ladies but I thought I would be ready to get back on the horse as they say way before this. Seems like my interest is decreasing instead of increasing.

I know this type of thing takes time but has anyone else gone through this recently? I figured after I cut off the last lady friend who was pretty, but also pretty damn boring, that I wanted to take a break, and start again around spring, now its summer and I still don't have that drive yet.
 
Sounds like it was!

In a weird rut dating gaf... Just not attracted to anyone really at the moment. I can see pretty girls and just ignore them, don't want to talk, get their contact, nothing. I think I need to expand my circle of potential ladies but I thought I would be ready to get back on the horse as they say way before this. Seems like my interest is decreasing instead of increasing.

I know this type of thing takes time but has anyone else gone through this recently? I figured after I cut off the last lady friend who was pretty, but also pretty damn boring, that I wanted to take a break, and start again around spring, now its summer and I still don't have that drive yet.

It's not a rut at all. In my mind, a rut is defined by wanting something but not achieving it; you're not working towards anything for several good reasons. If you're not ready or not interested or you're focusing on other things -- that's fine -- but look inside yourself and try to assess whether there's a reason here or if you're just prolonging this period of limbo.

I mean, I don't generally take "breaks" as you are, and frankly, maybe that's to my detriment. Just make sure that you're using your non-dating time productively and don't rush things.

That said, if you meet the right person, that drive will appear. So, I'm going to humbly suggest that you expand your social circle, whether it's male or female, and cast those dice to the wind. Nothing wrong with not wanting to troll Tinder for months, but don't trade that for being a shut-in either...

Anyway. What you're experiencing isn't weird. Nor should you be forcing things. If someone's boring (to you) or not attractive (to you), then, that's completely fair. Hell, I've been there so many times. The heart wants what the heart wants.
 
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