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[Starlightmuse]

So, was hanging out with this one girl for several months with no real intention of it going any further than that. One night, she suddenly lets out on how much she liked me and how natural it felt. We talked together, and we ended up walking away with mutual feelings. Next day, I actually do ask her out...and she pretty much acted like nothing ever happened.

Was rather weird, but oh well. Not sure what the point was.

Wait, what did she tell you?

Without knowing that, I'd say that she's probably embarrased or scared, just be straight and tell her to go on a date. and kiss her if you have the opportunity. She just told you that she likes you, there's no reason to be shy, even if she has changed her mind, wich would make no sense, you could just say that after what she said you found appropriate to kiss her.

But really, don't overthink it, she already told you that she likes you, she's probably just being shy, just take the iniciative and go for it.

 

[Makonero]

How does one differentiate between the "spark" going away from a a relationship vs. simply the comfort that comes from being in a long-term relationship?

it will never feel the same as it did for the first few months

but going out on dates, getting out of the routine, and better, deeper communication can help you get out of a rut if that's what you feel like you're in

 

[Megalosaro]

.



Cool! Speaking of dribbling fluids, does your penis work?

Spoiler

We are your biggest cheerleaders.

We didn't really have a chance to try this weekend. We are going out of town tomorrow though, will probably try then. I bought thinner condoms. They seem legit from the test I did.

Which I guess leads to my next point. We don't really have much opportunities to ty sexy stuff together. We have my apartment and that's about it. Her mom lives at her place. They share a 1 bedroom.

We also have my car, but she doesn't really like that at all. She feels is too public.

I mean I guess we could rent hotel rooms, but that is expensive.

Any suggestions on how to build more adult time. I feel like... pressured or something by the fact that we have to try stuff when she's over, since that is the only chance we get.

 

[Messofanego]

https://www.facebook.com/contentodays/videos/405830456463365/

Edit: I don't know how to embed videos lol. I liked this video, reminds me of this thread a little bit tbh.

Whoever is making the next OT, put this in there.

 

[Neoweee]

https://www.facebook.com/contentodays/videos/405830456463365/

Edit: I don't know how to embed videos lol. I liked this video, reminds me of this thread a little bit tbh.

That is a very good video. Unlike a lot of dating advice videos, it has a very positive attitude that isn't disrespectful of either party.

The cure to most "novice" dating problems is to get out there, live a more interesting and positive life, and chat with more members of the opposite sex in general.

 

[Spaced Harrier]

Heading for a date. It's super hot and humid and cloudy and rainy. Weird weather.

It's a Dutch girl, from tinder, who messaged me, and it's her last night in Dublin.

I think that's a lot of points in my favour. Let's see if I can snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.

She did say she's not the best at speaking English so that could be interesting.

I might truly need the gift of the gab tonight.

Fellow Irish and all around the world, lend me your power.

 

[artsi]

The cute girl not only slid into my DM's, but also asked me on a date.

Easy mode ¯\_(&#12484_/¯

 

[Messofanego]

The cute girl not only slid into my DM's, but also asked me on a date.

Easy mode ¯_(&#12484_/¯

Love when girls take the initiative. I've often liked when girls did that with me on the rare occasions it happens.

 

[Spaced Harrier]

Well, interim report:

I haven't a fucking clue how this is going.
Got spooked when she didn't drink, just a coke.

The pub was a good choice, playing Jenga in dive bar with cool music. Don't think she is into rock though.

Chemistry is hardly off the chain, but I'm doing the lords work and the heavy lifting on the chat front. She wasn't lying about that.

I'm not expecting much but I'll bring her somewhere else and get myself a few pints at the least!

 

[EchoChamber]

*I see I got a match in tinder*
*opens app*
*match dissappears*

 

[artsi]

Love when girls take the initiative. I've often liked when girls did that with me on the rare occasions it happens.

Yeah it's cool, I usually focus on those girls first as it's certain they're actually interested.

 

[Messofanego]

Well, interim report:

I haven't a fucking clue how this is going.
Got spooked when she didn't drink, just a coke.

The pub was a good choice, playing Jenga in dive bar with cool music. Don't think she is into rock though.

Chemistry is hardly off the chain, but I'm doing the lords work and the heavy lifting on the chat front. She wasn't lying about that.

I'm not expecting much but I'll bring her somewhere else and get myself a few pints at the least!

I don't think her avoiding alcohol is a problem but if the chemistry ain't there, it ain't there. At least you're enjoying Jenga, so if this doesn't work out, you had fun.

 

[brawly]

Heading for a date. It's super hot and humid and cloudy and rainy. Weird weather.

It's a Dutch girl, from tinder, who messaged me, and it's her last night in Dublin.

I think that's a lot of points in my favour. Let's see if I can snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.

She did say she's not the best at speaking English so that could be interesting.

I might truly need the gift of the gab tonight.

Fellow Irish and all around the world, lend me your power.

> dutch
> not good at english

Maybe she's shy.

 

[Surfinn]

Man. Why is every woman in Sacramento a right winger? Holy shit, over half I've talked to have either voted for Trump or said they would have and have some shady ass ideologies and perspectives. And they're always the ones I'm attracted to.

Kill me, online dating is honestly the worst.. Never thought I'd have this problem in such a liberal city

 

[LookAtMeGo]

I was supposed to go on a date with a dime piece tomorrow for dinner but she just cancelled on me and said she had prior engagements she had forgotten about. Said she was really sorry and said she wants to meet up on saturday and just go for a walk and that if all is well we will go for a few drinks after.

Kinda bummed but saturday isnt too far away. At least she cancelled the day before and not like an hour before. I will stay cautiously optimistic for now. Have a feeling something will come up saturday as well.

Now I feel like going for a pint on a patio but nobody is free. Do I go solo? Its nice as fuck out.

 

[jimmypython]

https://www.facebook.com/contentodays/videos/405830456463365/

Edit: I don't know how to embed videos lol. I liked this video, reminds me of this thread a little bit tbh.

Great video! I hope they make another one about being ghosted/stood up

 

[Spaced Harrier]

Lol think she is a country girl, I dunno!

I've brought her to a fecking ceili sesh.
Best I got was eyes from a girl across the bar.

 

[Neoweee]

I was supposed to go on a date with a dime piece tomorrow for dinner but she just cancelled on me and said she had prior engagements she had forgotten about. Said she was really sorry and said she wants to meet up on saturday and just go for a walk and that if all is well we will go for a few drinks after.

Kinda bummed but saturday isnt too far away. At least she cancelled the day before and not like an hour before. I will stay cautiously optimistic for now. Have a feeling something will come up saturday as well.

Now I feel like going for a pint on a patio but nobody is free. Do I go solo? Its nice as fuck out.

Go solo. There's no shame in appreciating the good weather alone. It's a waste to pass on good opportunities.

 

[Spaced Harrier]

Yeah no chemistry but sure fuck it. I'm having fun.

 

[LookAtMeGo]

Go solo. There's no shame in appreciating the good weather alone. It's a waste to pass on good opportunities.

True that. Guess its time to pretty up and head out. Sometimes solo missions turn out to be the best. Im pretty intoverted but once I get a few pints in me I'm talking to everyone.

Its either that or I just go sit by the ocean and have a couple. But there is not a lot of traffic by the ocean near my house during the week. Patio sounds good.

I guess I do live right above a patio. There are a few girls down there.

 

[Surfinn]

True that. Guess its time to pretty up and head out. Sometimes solo missions turn out to be the best. Im pretty intoverted but once I get a few pints in me I'm talking to everyone.

Its either that or I just go sit by the ocean and have a couple. But there is not a lot of traffic by the ocean near my house during the week. Patio sounds good.

Sounds like you're successful on your own, socially. Go for it

 

[protomouse]

nvm

 

[LookAtMeGo]

Dont think about it too much man. Thats what I always do. Then after thinking about it too much I try to explain myself and look even worse.

Just change the subject and its something you can talk about in person.

One thing I have been noticing with Tinder is that long conversations, for me anyway, tend to go nowhere. I feel its best to cut to the chase and after a few messages, just ask them to meet up. Probably much better off getting to know the person in person rather than typing it out where too much can be taken the wrong way.

The only girls I have met up with on Tinder have been ones where in the first few messages, somebody asks to meet up. All the ones with all the small talk go absolutely nowhere.

Edit: oh you already asked her out and ahe said yes. Then you are golden. Just stop the conversation and start making plans.
________

Now I got my hair cut, beard trimmed, got a few beers in me and am ready to go mingle.

 

[Messofanego]

Damn, feel like I just came on too strong. Just asked her out on Tinder and she said yes... but added "however, it'd be the first time I meet up with someone from Tinder". My curiosity got the better of me and I answered "Same here. Is that something you feel weird about?", and then "I know nothing about Tinder, other than swiping past a lot of profile pics until I found someone with the courage to show identity. I.e. you.", and finally "I don't know what Tinder's like from a girl perspective, I mean".

In essence, it's true. I swiped past everyone who had nothing but pouty lip/ab/ass pics, no bio, or a bio consisting of a single word like "beer". And that was the majority. But by expressing myself the way I did, I fear I've put her on a pedestal. Or possibly it made it sound like he reason I liked her is because she wrote a profile, which is in fact contrary to what I was trying to say. Bad, if not much worse. All I really wanted to do was affirm that I'm in it for the person and not out playing for sex.

Hopefully she doesn't take it the wrong way, but I feel like I need to clear up the wrong choice of words in any case. It's way too late, and I'm sleep deprived as is. I'll have to see what tomorrow brings I guess.

You're overthinking this. You both swiped right on each other because you had good profiles and didn't rely on just looks. Go to sleep and don't freak her out.

 

[Ultramantaro1]

That feeling when she asks to cancel an outing and dinner plans....


Because she would rather just come straight to my place. 🤗

 

[LookAtMeGo]

That feeling when she asks to cancel an outing and dinner plans....


Because she would rather just come straight to my place. 🤗

Congrats on the sex. I hope you got some Berry White on a playlist ready.

 

[Benzychenz]

Ah. That's fair. Just don't wait on her. Gotta put her outta your mind and move on. If she comes around great. If not you're stillnon the ball.

Personally I cant do the "let mw know" thing. I just say that I enjoy dating the person but I can't wait in flux so I guess this is where we go our separate ways.

Yeah, if anything else comes up I won't pass on it because of her.

But my dating life is pretty slow going so odds of that are slim 🤷*♂️

 

[Subpar Scrub]

Haha I thought you guys would like that vid. First time I came across something like that was an artist on YouTube who ranted like that for 30 minutes and inspired me to start travelling and meeting new people. Really changed my life and gave me the small bit of confidence I needed and continue to clutch to.

Spoiler

and expand on, slowly!

Going to try meeting people at a concert this Saturday. Worst comes to worst, I'll convince someone to take a photo of me there to expand on my pic variety.

 

[timetokill]

Ugh, I really like this girl and I'm getting into that "better not screw this up" anxiety lol

 

[Megalosaro]

When I first started seeing my girl, before every date I thought I was walking into a massacre.

You get over it

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

When I first started seeing my girl, before every date I thought I was walking into a massacre.

You get over it

Yep.

What y'all don't get is that, if things are going remotely well, she's your biggest fan. She wants you to be awesome. She wants there to be a connection. What, you think she's looking forward to another string of shitty dates with no chemistry and trawling through hundreds of lewd Tinder messages?

 

[LookAtMeGo]

Ugh, I really like this girl and I'm getting into that "better not screw this up" anxiety lol

Haha I know that feeling. I usually manage to screw it up though. Best of luck 😆

 

[LookAtMeGo]

All the patios are full so I'm just sittin at the bar at an Irish pub and its all old people. Fack.

 

[ZackieChan]

We didn't really have a chance to try this weekend. We are going out of town tomorrow though, will probably try then. I bought thinner condoms. They seem legit from the test I did.

Which I guess leads to my next point. We don't really have much opportunities to ty sexy stuff together. We have my apartment and that's about it. Her mom lives at her place. They share a 1 bedroom.

We also have my car, but she doesn't really like that at all. She feels is too public.

I mean I guess we could rent hotel rooms, but that is expensive.

Any suggestions on how to build more adult time. I feel like... pressured or something by the fact that we have to try stuff when she's over, since that is the only chance we get.

Why can you not have sex in your own apartment?

 

[Peltz]

How does one differentiate between the "spark" going away from a a relationship vs. simply the comfort that comes from being in a long-term relationship?

Are we talking about sex? If so, spark vs. no spark really isn't the right question. I'm pretty sure couples in their 80s aren't banging everyday like couples in their 20s.

The question to ask yourself is whether you're still feeling fulfilled by the relationship. Is the relationship providing the intimacy you desire? That intimacy has a sexual component but it's not just about sex.

All the patios are full so I'm just sittin at the bar at an Irish pub and its all old people. Fack.

Old people like young studs.

it will never feel the same as it did for the first few months

but going out on dates, getting out of the routine, and better, deeper communication can help you get out of a rut if that's what you feel like you're in

Also, don't watch porn or jerk off. It will keep sex with your girl feeling really hot for the foreseeable future. That shit messes with you in ways you wouldn't expect.

I'm off porn right now and am having sex 3 times a night with my girl. (Maybe it's all the warm weather?) Also all the women in NY looked insanely hot today :-/

 

[Messofanego]

Why can you not have sex in your own apartment?

Did you forget the years long story about Megalosaro's super jealous and asshole roommate? 😉

 

[Valkerionseven]

Are we talking about sex? If so, spark vs. no spark really isn't the right question. I'm pretty sure couples in their 80s aren't banging everyday like couples in their 20s.
.

You'd be surprised.

 

[Messofanego]

Old people have sex on the reg. Probably more than you.

 

[Puck Beaverton]

retirement homes are lowkey orgies.

 

[LookAtMeGo]

Old people have sex on the reg. Probably more than you.

I somehow doubt that.

Anywho. I met a dude who is a writer for Bloomberg? Or something. Some kind of publication type thingy. We shared our hatred for Trump. Its nice to run into a yank here that hates the dude.

P.S I'd fuck an old lady. There just isnt any here. Just dudes.

Maybe I should go to the next place.

Oh shit. I spotted a few across the bar. Game face on.

Now me and bloomberg guy are talking about guns and terrorism. Good times.

 

[FyreWulff]

I somehow doubt that.

Retirement homes/communities have some of the highest STD rates due to all the fucking

 

[EchoChamber]

Retirement homes/communities have some of the highest STD rates due to all the fucking

The fuck? Hahaha

 

[Magwik]

Met up with someone at the mall today
Went horribly
A combination of having nothing in common and me just not being ready to consider dating someone yet.
Oh well.

 

[ZackieChan]

Did you forget the years long story about Megalosaro's super jealous and asshole roommate? 😉

No, I didn't forget that. But then he needs to GTFO or just stay in his room or something. Ridiculous that it has gone on this long.

 

[Messofanego]

The fuck? Hahaha

Do people not know this? lmao. Retirement homes are all about unprotected sex, it's a perfect breeding ground.

STD transmission among the elderly is unfortunately a common and growing problem. For example, between 2007 and 2011, chlamydia infections among Americans 65 and over increased by 31 percent, and syphilis by 52 percent. Most caregivers are surprised because they never imaged sexually transmitted diseases to be one of the many issues they could encounter when caring for an elderly loved one. After hearing the bad news the caregiver’s first question is usually “how did this happen”?

The high-level answer is older men take potent little pills to help with erectile dysfunction coupled with (pun intended) post-menopausal older women, with no pregnancy concerns, using progesterone and estrogen creams that help arouse them and makes sex more enjoyable for them. This combination of factors adds up to a whole lot of unprotected sex. In fact, what goes on in nursing homes, assisted living facilities or other large residential congregations of elderly people is a lot closer to what goes on in spring break hotels than most people would ever imagine. With lots of sex comes the possibilities of lots of STDs. The reality is your college-aged daughter on spring break and your grandmother in the nursing home should each be equally worried about catching chlamydia from the guy (or the grandfather) next door.

• Men using E.D. drugs plus post-menopausal women (without fear of pregnancy) equals unprotected risky sex
• Significantly fewer older men are available, so women in an effort to please (an keep) a partner have risky unprotected sex
• Older people are now using on-line dating and thus are relatively unfamiliar with their partners and their sexual histories
• Many of today’s “Baby Boomers” came to maturity during the sexual revolution of the 1960s/1970s and are now reverting back to their previous risky sexual behavior
• A lot of seniors were already married when sex education gained prominence and therefore missed the “safe sex” talks and never learned “safe sex etiquette”
• As people age their immune systems tend to weaken making them more susceptible to contracting ANY disease - including STDs
• Seniors because of embarrassment are less likely to discuss sexual issues with their doctors - which can further lead to the spread of STDs
• Many doctors don’t think to test seniors for STDs as a standard examination protocol.​

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/derrick-y-mcdaniel/sex-and-seniors-stds-a-ne_b_9619778.html

 

[Daedardus]

> dutch
> not good at english

Maybe she's shy.

It's true though, they have the worst accent.

Well, maybe not the worst, and they should generally be quite good at English, but the accent is still bad.

 

[LookAtMeGo]

Retirement homes/communities have some of the highest STD rates due to all the fucking

From all the fucking in the homes or from the lifetime of fucking beforehand? I feel sick.

Anyways. The moral of the story is old people need love but you have to wrap it before you tap it.

 

[Benzychenz]

Man, I feel like such a mess right now.

I hate getting so emotionally attached to people. I've only met her 6 times but the possibility of her breaking it off is eating me up.

 

[zchen]

Man, I feel like such a mess right now.

I hate getting so emotionally attached to people. I've only met her 6 times but the possibility of her breaking it off is eating me up.

Stay strong brother. I feel you cause I'm going through that same sort of emotion on some days now (text that goes un-responded for some time, trying to not act desperate，why do I think about her so much, do I really like her or just fear of being alone etc. etc.) just trying to think of other things and do other things to not overthink so much.

 

[LookAtMeGo]

Now Im with bloomberg dude with 3 other girls. Haha solo missions can be great. The bartender at the pub we were at wants to me up as well as one of the servers. Good times brehs. Good times.