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WCW Monday Nitro 10/16/2000
Melbourne hosts Nitro Down Under.
Boogie Knights vs NBT WCW Tag Team Championships
A rematch. Alex cuts a promo in German. I think he shaved his eyebrows. The rest of the Thrillers are barred from ringside, Mike Sanders can't get involved, and the decision is final. Every time they show the the Halloween Havoc bumper, it has the hilariously overused generic knife sheen sound from all horror movies. Not the unsheathing sound effect, but the music guy. Big surprise, a ref bump. Chartbuster! Kronik come out and take out the Boogie Knights. Thrillers retain.
TO THE BACK. Sanders and Nash talk with the rest of the Thrillers. Nash is hung over and doesn't want to be booked. Goldberg arrives on his bike. Is it normal to wear sunglasses on a motorcycle at night? Sanders and the Thrillers talk with Cat. I think Nash just got booked against Sting in a lumberjack match.
Team Canada vs MIA
Huge "you're a wanker" chants for Lance. What are the odds that this will end with Hugh being knocked out from the Maple Leaf even though he's not in the match? Hugh comes through the crowd to ambush Lance. Hugh is sent to the back. Canadian stampede to Chavo. I'm sick of this feud. A ref bump! Two matches, two ref bumps. Elix gets knocked off the apron through a table. Gunns slides a chair in for the MIA, but Lance uses it instead. Lash kicks out of the chair shot, but taps to the Maple Leaf.
TO THE BACK. Sting has arrived.
A video preview of a CNN special on Goldberg is aired.
Shane Douglas vs Filthy Animals
They're really hyping about doing dual tapings of Nitro and Thunder. I am not excited for that shit at all. Thunder is always so lethargic and dead when they tape on their own, let alone after 2 hours of terrible Nitro. Actually, they probably tape Thunder first, right? Shane actually asked for this match.
Shane had pepper spray (it is not FUCKING MACE YOU ASSHOLES). Stevie asks for a distinction of which one it is. Mace is basically god damn tear gas and hasn't been available for years. You wouldn't get mace to spray in someone's face. It's pepper spray and not only would the guys getting sprayed with it drop immediately, everyone around them would be suffering as well. The person who sprayed and is all up in the dudes face, the refs and security trying to wipe faces off, the crowd. Rey is the only dude so far to sell it like he'd actually been pepper sprayed in the past. LOL, Shane does That's Incredible to Rey. Full on That's Incredible, not just a tombstone. He had Konnan handcuffed and forced to watch. He recovered so fast from getting a solid 3 second stream to the face of pepper spray at point plank range. Pepper spray in wrestling pisses me off so much. I've been trained to use pepper spray. I have used pepper spray in a physical altercation. It isn't just something that blinds you for a few seconds. You can't see, you can't breathe, you immediately cry and drool and have your sinuses empty, it burns your skin, it burns your hands when you rub your eyes, then it burns whatever you touch, and it burns more when you try to wash it off and it drips down your body. So when a sweaty and shirtless pro wrestler gets hit with extreme bursts of pepper spray and just holds his eyes, that shit doesn't fly with me.
TO THE BACK. Chuck and Shawn argue. Coach Nash arbitrates the situation. Booker T. is here! Rey is being placed in an ambulance from the tombstone. They should be washing out his eyes.
Two Wild and Crazy Guys vs The Perfect Event
Stasiak has been out of action for a good month, maybe more, with a knee injury. Awesome is back to wearing his trunks after a few weeks of wearing bell bottoms in the ring. Nash is on color. Perfect Event just can't get along. But TWACG are very together. Stevie says Palumbo is in the top 10 best wrestlers in WCW. He's in my fave five! Chuck does things like spinning head scissors and triangle dropkicks with ease and grace that even Awesome didn't have. Awesome wins with a frog splash. Coach Nash throws a chair in the ring and has to physically get between the Thrillers. He wants them to hug it out.
TO THE BACK. Paula is with Shane and Torrie. He calls out Booker T for the title tonight. THAT'S A FACT! David asks Sanders for a DNA match against Buff at Halloween Havoc.
Kwee Wee vs JTB
In the first move of the match, JTB destroys his ankle on a monkey flip. Kwee Wee is your winner. They replay it twice in slow motion after the break. It wasn't Sid level or anything, but you can clearly see where it twisted the wrong way.
The Cat and Ms. Jones come to the ring. A Cat dance segment to fill time for the time that didn't get used for the last match. Then he challenged Mike Sanders. Mike comes out and agrees for a match at Halloween Havoc with the full commissionership on the line. Kronik come out. Sanders sends them to the ring, but Goldberg's music hits. He came from the crowd and got in the ring. Sanders won't let this match happen because the people didn't pay enough for it. They call Goldberg "Goldylocks" and then say they're bears and are going to shove things up Goldberg's ass. Goldberg's VOICE knocked Mike Sanders down, even though Goldberg was in the ring and Sanders was on the stage. He's got some Sindel powers.
TO THE BACK. Booker heads to the ring. Sanders has something for David Flair to do.
Shane Douglas vs Booker T WCW Championship
Scott Steiner is on color. The first thing Scott talks about? Torrie Wilson's acne. Most of what he is saying is muted, but he was all over her for her skin looking terrible even after 6 hours of make up and said she should get plastic surgery to fix her ugly skin. What the fuck. "What's deeper, her face or pizza?" This seems really fucking mean. Come out and openly shit talk a woman's looks on national TV when she A. Can't hear it and B. Can't respond to it. This is after WCW ran an angle making fun of her previous eating disorder. "Our fans are idiots."
Steiner talks about Booker and Stevie haven't different moms and being cousins at best. Stevie says at least he didn't change his last name to make it. "What is your last name? Ray?" Then he says Booker's last name is T, so there is no way they can be brothers. Shane worked over the neck most of the match. Steiner said how stupid it was to not work over the knee when everyone knows Booker has a bad knee. Kidman ran out and Shane knocked him off the apron. He fell into Midajah, which made Steiner beat some ass. Then Konnan ran out to fight Steiner, and Jeff came out to brawl, too. I don't know why. They had nothing to do with each other. Book wins with the Book End.
TO THE BACK. Paula is with Steiner, Jarrett, and Midajah. Midajah cuts a promo in some language, Steiner again calls Torrie ugly, and Jeff is going to put Konnan in the hospital with Rey.
David Flair vs Goldberg
Ric Flair is on color. Arrive. Snort. Spear. Jackhammer. Snort. Leave.
TO THE BACK. Paula is with Kidman and Konnan. Kidman claims that he and the Animals are as tight as can be. I guess 3 months ago when they turned on Kidman didn't count.
Scott Steiner vs Kidman
Steiner attacked a fan before the match. Even Scott Steiner can't powerbomb Kidman. But he can do a super Samoan drop to Kidman. Steiner Recliner for the win. Steiner don't care about no stinking cruiserweight bitches.
Jeff Jarrett vs Konnan
YOU FAT FUCKING ASSHOLE AGAIN WITH THE TOMMY RICH SHIT. And fuck Konnan, too. Fuck WCW. Tygress, Shane, and Torrie get involved. Jeff hits Tygress with a guitar and pins Konnan with the Stroke. Fuck everything. I wish I were dead.
TO THE BACK. Sting wasn't pleased with this.
Nash took a tour of a beer factory. He even got his own brew made.
Sting vs Kevin Nash Lumberjack Match
I never really liked jumberjack matches. They're never as good as just a normal singles match would be and is really just an excuse to get a big brawl going. Nash counters a Stinger splash with a big boot. Steiner comes out and fights with Booker. This causes all the lumberjacks to brawl to the back. This lumberjack match is now jack-less. You could say they jacked off. ... Ref bump, Jeff comes out with the guitar. Jeff hits Sting with it during a Stinger splash. Garbage in the ring to end the show. Can't say I blame them. These shows are not engaging in the least.
There is nothing interesting going on right now at all.