MiyazakiHatesKojima
Banned
We are all flawed in our own ways, but what makes this community great is that we have each other's backs as a collective, regardless of the personal differences or mistakes we have or make.To All,
I feel this is a bit too self aggrandizement for my tastes, but I don't want to leave on bad terms or just leave people wondering about me. After I got hurt, my world became very small. I am alone in my house all day long. That, along with medication, I think may be affecting my mental state at times. It's only after a couple of days away and reading some of my postings I can see why some would be offended.
I don't like to swear when communicating, I think others will see me as simple minded if I do. And yet, I am throwing around swears like there is no tomorrow lately. I took down my avatar because I had my daughter in it and I started to think that there were perverts in here. I didn't want even her picture involved. I only put it up because, at the time,Ailynn seemed brave to show us her face. I figured the least I could do would be to show mine if I was going to make fun of other people.
I was talking to an elderly woman once about the nature of addiction. She had become addicted to pain pills and didn't even realize it. I thought how foolish she was to not recognize the signs. But that's the thing. If the only recourse for pain is a pill that makes it go away, side effects be damned. Your personality changes and those around you are worried but all you want is to not feel pain.
I have never not worked since I was 14 mowing lawns for people living in a trailer park out in the country. I haven't worked since October and the worthlessness I feel about myself is burdensome.
Anyway, I am going to take a step back and regroup. Maybe I will start to post again, or maybe not. You all have helped me through a rough patch in my life right now and I don't want to get myself banned for being a jackass. I am not making excuses. Maybe I should have been banned, I don't know.
Much love to you all!
I don't think you should leave the community and isolate yourself further more because that would make things worse for you. At the very least, try to stick to a community thread that you enjoy engaging in and keep in contact with those you trust the most.
During my two months off, I felt that disconnection and it wasn't good for my psyche in the long run. I don't wish that to happen to you as well, so I hope you stick with us and let us handle the rest