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Online Dating |OT| Please Respond

Y

Yrael

Member
How do people here feel about profiles without any photos in them (even if the profiles themselves are interesting)?
 
M

Moral Panic

Member
Jipan said:
Online dating Do's and Dont's:
-Don't upload mirror shots, selfies of your upper body only, or pictures that are more than 2-3 years old since you probably don't look the same.
Click to expand...

http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/the-4-big-myths-of-profile-pictures/

But the facts were stubborn: your face doesn’t necessarily matter. In fact, not showing your face can in fact be a positive, as long as you substitute in something unusual, sexy, or mysterious enough to make people want to talk to you.
Click to expand...

A 19 year-old showing his abs meets just under 1.4 women for every women he reaches out to, meaning that not only are females responding to his messages, but many are actually contacting him first. For a 31 year-old ab shower, that ratio has regressed to much closer to the average.
Click to expand...

Like the Ab Shot, the Cleavage Shot is very successful, drawing 12.9 new contacts per month, or 49% more than average. But unlike the Abs Shot, this positive effect actually trends against the effects of age.
Click to expand...

In terms of getting new messages, the MySpace shot is the single most effective photo type for women.
Click to expand...

Things to do:
male_photo_contexts2.png
female_photo_contexts2.png
 
M

Mr.Wreckless

Banned
Too often guys use the looks excuse as a reason women aren't messaging them back. I'm as average as they come looks wise but I got plenty of responses simply by being funny. You need to find a way to pique the woman's attention. Like I said earlier the women are bombarded with messages every day so if you just send a simple hello, it will get ignored unless you look like Boris Kodjoe. Come with a standard paragraph thats kinda funny and mix in one sentence about her profile specifically and spam that. But whatever you spam has to make the woman think it would be FUN to hang out with you, that's the key.
 
V

vapor

Member
Wreck-It Ralph said:
I've messaged over 200 girls and it's led to only two conversations, one of which led to a date.

So the "send loads of messages" strategy clearly doesn't work for some people.
Click to expand...

If you're only getting 1 conversation in 100, something is not working in your approach.

What sort of message do you send?

I go for a short message, personalised to the recipient; I show that I read their profile, and pick something to compliment in it that I like. Even if I just get a "thanks" as a reply there's a chance to continue.

If it's not that, it might be something in your profile itself... but lets cross that bridge when we get there.
 
B

bill0527

Member
Had quite a few dates, never any luck. Almost every single date, the person was nothing like what they said in their profile and not a single one of them looked as good as their profile pic.

Online dating is almost like a grand sociological experiment if you want to find out how people see themselves and the image they want to portray to the world. I found a pretty big disconnect between the two.
 
J

Jhoan

Member
Moral Panic said:
http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/the-4-big-myths-of-profile-pictures/









Things to do:
http://cdn.okcimg.com/blog/four_myths/male_photo_contexts2.png
[IMG]http://cdn.okcimg.com/blog/four_myths/female_photo_contexts2.png[/QUOTE]
I'll throw this into the OP. Personally I strongly detest traditional selfies where people take pictures in front of a mirror so I don't agree with this too much since I do photography as a hobby. I think this is something that people should take with a grain of salt.

I think a guy posting a picture of his muscles comes off as a try-hard especially if he's posing; if it's an action shot, then it works. But to be fair, I think it was Tenks who said that he had at least one picture of himself of him at the beach and it got him plenty of dates before he got a girlfriend so I won't dismiss it entirely as almost anything goes. Animal pictures from I've seen and read on GAF and elsewhere seem to work.

[quote="Galang, post: 119964964"]Wow, really nice OP. Even the thread title got me to laugh

A good addition to the OP would also be a list of websites that don't just offer the standard male/female option when signing up for their services. I know OKCupid and POF allow you to specify which gender you're interested as I've used both of them. Unfortunately not sure about the rest![/QUOTE]
Thanks but again I owe it to GK86 to coming up with the title. I need to find the original reference. Pretty sure it was in the Dating-Age thread.

Good point. In effort to make this thread more open to the LGBT GAF community, I've added in a couple of LGBT online dating websites/app. Regardless of sexual orientation/preference, we're all struggling through the same thing. If you know of any other websites that offer more options, feel free to throw them out.

[quote="XenodudeX, post: 120006253"]Don't like Coffee meets Bagels. There's too many attractive women on there.[/QUOTE]
[img]http://media.247sports.com/Uploads/Assets/166/618/618166.gif
bill0527 said:
Had quite a few dates, never any luck. Almost every single date, the person was nothing like what they said in their profile and not a single one of them looked as good as their profile pic.

Online dating is almost like a grand sociological experiment if you want to find out how people see themselves and the image they want to portray to the world. I found a pretty big disconnect between the two.
Click to expand...
I've been there before man. My first two initial dates off OKC were disappointing but that's because my standards were too high and as a result, my expectations were high going into the date. I never contacted either girls again primarily because both girls were insecure about their bodies that would only take certain kinds of shots.

With the last two recent dates I went on from OKC I kept my expectations in check and lowered my standards. Both went well and looked like their pictures. Ultimately, the red head that I'm seeing again on Thursday came across more genuine, laid back, way more confident about herself, and most importantly made me laugh which is a huge turn on for me.

You have to keep in mind that women are more likely to lie about their profile so take what women say on their profile with a grain of salt. In the end of the day, everyone is trying to put their best foot forward. So my advice would be to lower your standards, keep your expectations in check, and go into dates with the intention of having fun. Also message girls that average looking not just hot girls. Don't dismiss a girl that likes you because she wasn't what you expected her to be.
---
In the second reserved post I've decided to rename it into a General Online Dating Compendium. How it works is I've been pulling out quotes about different kinds of advice/words of encouragement and throwing them into that post so people can refer back to them whenever they want to. That way, the same question on kissing doesn't get asked repeatedly.

So far I've added freshair on kissing during dates and electricshake on messaging etiquette and plan adding Smiley90 on resending a message a second time. Obviously I won't be able fit every post into it since there's only so much it can take, so I'll give the thread more time to grow to add new posts in.
Click to expand...
 
G

GK86

Homeland Security Fail
vapor said:
If you're only getting 1 conversation in 100, something is not working in your approach.

What sort of message do you send?

I go for a short message, personalised to the recipient; I show that I read their profile, and pick something to compliment in it that I like. Even if I just get a "thanks" as a reply there's a chance to continue.

If it's not that, it might be something in your profile itself... but lets cross that bridge when we get there.
Click to expand...

I'm with Wreck it. Although I haven't sent 200 messages, I'm a little over 100. And about 2 convo's have come out of it. I have done the witty-pick-something-from-their-profiles stuff. Had my profile looked over by Jipan and nothing.

Which is all weird since I'm having success with Tinder. I might try CMB next.
 
N

Novocaine

Member
I've tried a few of these over the past year and out of all of the dating sites I found OKC to be the best. Tinder is a bit of fun too but it feels like people there are less serious about finding someone to meet. I guess it can all depend on where you are from but that's the experience I got.

Anyway I've had a lot of fun with the online dating thing and I've actually found someone I'm really into now which is great (plus she likes video games!), so we will see how that goes.

A couple of small tips I found that really help with these sites.

1 - Make sure your profile photo is clear and your face is visible. That seems like a big thing that women on these sites that I've talked to find important. They don't care about your car, or your waxed abs, or your dick (at least not at first).

2 - Don't exaggerate on your profile. Saying your a foot taller or 20kg lighter than you are might help you get a date easier but that falls through the second you meet in person, and makes you look like an asshole.

Those are the 2 biggest complains I've heard from women I've been on dates with. A lot of men seem to be using trickery on these sites to make them stand out in the sea of men on these sites. Just be genuine, and it will pay off in the end.

Anyway I'm so glad I decided to give these sites a try. I was never good at the bar/club scene, have had a great time.
 
G

GK86

Homeland Security Fail
Should note that CMB requires your FB and your phone number to use (this is for the site, I'm assuming its the same for the app though).

Anyone else have a experience using this site?
 
F

freshair

Member
GK86 said:
Should note that CMB requires your FB and your phone number to use (this is for the site, I'm assuming its the same for the app though).

Anyone else have a experience using this site?
Click to expand...

Just secured my first date from the site.

When you get a match, it sends you and your match a text saying that you both are matches and to continue texting the number and it'll send it to each other (kind of like a private texting line).

It's only active for 3 days so you have to get talking and see if you're intrigued enough by each other to exchange your real numbers and meet up.
 
F

FStop7

Banned
Mr.Wreckless said:
Too often guys use the looks excuse as a reason women aren't messaging them back. I'm as average as they come looks wise but I got plenty of responses simply by being funny. You need to find a way to pique the woman's attention. Like I said earlier the women are bombarded with messages every day so if you just send a simple hello, it will get ignored unless you look like Boris Kodjoe. Come with a standard paragraph thats kinda funny and mix in one sentence about her profile specifically and spam that. But whatever you spam has to make the woman think it would be FUN to hang out with you, that's the key.
Click to expand...

I look like dogshit right now and I still get a couple of matches a day. It's about attitude and confidence and presentation. All the better if you can pull off something genuinely funny and charming. I've had a couple of ideas but haven't tried them, yet. It's a fine line between charming and corny.
 
stn

stn

Member
I never reply to profiles with either no pic, no information filled in, or with really negative tones (ex. DON'T MESSAGE ME IF UR NOT __________).
 
S

Smiley90

Stop shitting on my team. Start shitting on my finger.
stn said:
I never reply to profiles with either no pic, no information filled in, or with really negative tones (ex. DON'T MESSAGE ME IF UR NOT __________).
Click to expand...

I'll reply to them if they message me first, but I won't contact them, that's my rule.

I'll also break off contact if they only respond with 1-liners/don't ask anything back a couple times. Not worth the effort/my time.
 
E

EnVy_CaLiBeR

Member
Joined OKC for fun because of this thread. I've had great conversations with three people. One conversation consisted of talking about our love for Chipotle, the other consisted of talking about Walking Dead, and the other was just an all around great conversation and we talked pretty much all last night on there. Gave me her number after while.
 
F

FStop7

Banned
lupin23rd said:
In 5 minutes on OKC I've found one woman with the username "ManHatingHag" (yikes!) and another with the username "Idontwatchhockey" (probably not a good idea in Vancouver?)

Makes me feel like all that time I didn't bother to create a profile on any of these sites because I couldn't think of a good username was a waste lol
Click to expand...

I matched with someone on Tinder whose sole profile line is "Men are monsters." I messaged her saying that was a mean thing to say, but no response. Either she's not interested, she's humorless, or she literally believes that men are monsters.

I have one other piece of advice for people who are talking to people they've met online but have not yet met in person - don't be too available. Make them want more time with you.
 
S

Smiley90

Stop shitting on my team. Start shitting on my finger.
backslashbunny said:
We should make a poll on which sites everyone on GAF uses.






(So I know where to stay away from, ha ha ha.)
Click to expand...

Hey now.

Also, OKC is miles ahead of POF in terms of what it offers to free users and in terms of functionality. I guess the membership might differ between cities, which is what might make some people use POF over it.

It's really all about trying to go on as many dates as you can, because a) you might just find "the one" and b) even if it doesn't work out, you'll gain confidence and be less nervous on later dates.

I found a girl that I dated for half a year on OKC and we got along great, we just weren't meant to be. Parted ways in peace. Definitely would recommend it to people haha.
 
G

GK86

Homeland Security Fail
freshair said:
Just secured my first date from the site.

When you get a match, it sends you and your match a text saying that you both are matches and to continue texting the number and it'll send it to each other (kind of like a private texting line).

It's only active for 3 days so you have to get talking and see if you're intrigued enough by each other to exchange your real numbers and meet up.
Click to expand...

Ahh ok. Thanks for the info. I'm going to set up my profile and see how it goes.
 
L

Luigi87

Member
Alrighty, seemingly working out a reschedule for my date that was cancelled the other day.

Also starting a dialogue with someone who rated me highly, and I in turn (which I learned the former after doing the latter)
 
E

EloquentM

aka Mannny
OKC is stupid. For quick match it'll give you a bunch of beautiful women that are high in your percentage AND nearby, then you go to do your actual search and none of those women pop up, lol. Da fuck?
 
D

Doominated

Member
Can confirm animal shot working lol. I made my main profile picture me holding my friend's puggle and every other message/conversation includes something about the dog.

Considering making all of my pictures the dog.
 
L

Leeness

Member
I got one message without messaging someone first omg :eek:

Perhaps we will talk and be friends!

I wonder if it's a real person and not a bot lol
 
Y

y2dvd

Member
I use both Tinder and OKC and I vastly prefer OKC. I'm an average looking guy if at that. Tinder is all about first impressions and looks. With OKC, at least I can message them and use my wits and charm to start a chat lol. I don't get that many matches on Tinder at all and the ones that I do match, they rarely respond.

I have a bare bone profile summary just to test if less is more. It is not. I still had a list of my favorite movies and a girl replied that she just got done watching LotR. Messaged each other throughout the day and now she's agreeing to have a date with me. Cute girl too. Point is sometimes people will read your profile. Give them something to reply to.
 
E

EloquentM

aka Mannny
Lol I just hit up one of my sisters friends on OKC. AWKWARD AWKWARD AWKWARD. awkward OKC message response and awkward text message thereafter lmao

😩
 
P

perfectchaos007

Member
EloquentM said:
Lol I just hit up one of my sisters friends on OKC. AWKWARD AWKWARD AWKWARD. awkward OKC message response and awkward text message thereafter lmao

😩
Click to expand...

That's a related concern of mine. I'm from a small town, and now i'm back to living in that hometown where I grew up, went to highschool, etc. And I really don't want to be seen on a dating profile by people that I went to hs with and are probably already my facebook friends. Especially since I'll try to rebrand myself into a better me, and my old hs friends will probably see through it.
 
E

EloquentM

aka Mannny
perfectchaos007 said:
That's a related concern of mine. I'm from a small town, and now i'm back to living in that hometown where I grew up, went to highschool, etc. And I really don't want to be seen on a dating profile by people that I went to hs with and are probably already my facebook friends. Especially since I'll try to rebrand myself into a better me, and my old hs friends will probably see through it.
Click to expand...
Yeah I have no idea how it happened. They both live in the same neighboring city to me and both these cities are large. Lol she was cute though I could not resist. My sister said to stop being so thirsty lmao
 
E

EloquentM

aka Mannny
Some girl when bat shit crazy when I called her "love". I call most girls that. Smh. Only one number was got today due to that crazy mishap
 
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