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[Maninthemirror]

Chika show is such a calming influence on a 2.5 year old. Ah just sit back close your eyes for a second as your child watches and bam in 10 minutes it's over and your daughter is destroying your spleen with a mile high jump on you


Is it just me or does anyone remember their life before kids. I don't for some reason , I don't even know what I used to do , in this manner it means to me that this phase of my life is much more worth it than before

We actually have tried to avoid co sleeping and trained my daughter to sleep on her own in her own bed by age 1.

 

[hey_monkey]

GAF, you make lovely kids. Good job.

Have two, seven (boy) and two (girl) and they're wonderful. My son is heartbreakingly beautiful, but thank goodness he prefers stupid haircuts and is a geek to the bone because he was so popular when he first started school I was worried he would be one of those kids who never tried because he got shit handed to him because he's pretty. That geek runs in the family and can't be resisted, tho. We done good.

My daughter is a wild creature. Fiercely independent, does absolutely everything in her own way and on her own terms, and it makes me proud for the person she will be as an adult but for fuck's sake, it's hard right now. She's chilling out a little, finally, but her "terrible twos" started as soon as she could control limbs and vocalize.

eta:

Cosleeping is great. Until you can't get your five year old out of the bed. Heh. Luckily we upgraded to a king size so all four of us fit.

oh man, yes. My son slept with me for the first year and a half of his life and it was great. He was a sling baby, too. Always wanted to be close. Daughter hates co-sleeping unless she doesn't feel well, rejected the sling at all turns, and basically just navigates the world with a no-fucks attitude. I adore her. But sometimes mama needs snuggles!

 

[RoryDropkick]

Oh man.. this thread couldn't have been started at a better time. My wife and I are expecting in December, twin.. well 1 boy, and 1 boy? We are pretty sure it's a boy. about 80% sure. She's a twin herself so it was luck of the draw. Another GAF member is going to be one of their uncles. Anyways, I'm completely freaked out on what's going to happen. The house is a mess, the nursery is far from ready and I don't know if we are going to have it all done by the time the kids are here. But somehow we are going to do it, and I'm sure things will be a-ok in the long run.

 

[Battersea Power Station]

Glad I found this thread! Here's my review of my first baby:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ibvKKxBrCA

And here she is 2 years later, with her goofy brother:

They're so much fun.

By the way, if anyone wants to buy a playground-y thing for their backyard, go for this: http://www.walmart.com/ip/IronKids-...ope-Climb-and-UV-Protective-Sunshade/20894133

I just got it a few days ago and it's got all the stuff I wanted: swings, a thing for climbing, a trampoline, and a slide. And it's built well (difficult to assemble, though) and under $400, shipped. Doesn't get much better.

 

[hey_monkey]

No one's ever ready. It'll work out! But I remember well that stress leading up to the big day.

 

[Cat]

+Subscribed, found thread just before bed, hope to post more later. I have a two-year old girl.

 

[Eppy Thatcher]

My little 5 year old everything...

Gets away with murder.

 

[hey_monkey]

Here's mine! Sorry for the ultra-bright pic of feral daughter, but I wanted to snag them both in their natural states: he's recording a Minecraft video (they all seem to want to be famous YouTubers now....) and she's being goofy and refusing to let anyone touch her hair ever.

 

[phisheep]

I get a lot of squalling children in my shop, which is a pain for business as it distracts their mothers from buying stuff. So a big part of my job is calming them down.

What I find works best is simply talking with them. I crouch down by the pushchair, engage eye contact, and have an adult conversation about whatever comes to mind. Yesterday it was an extended evaluation of Scotland's prospects against Japan in the rugby match. Now the 14-18 month old didn't know anything about this obviously, and couldn't talk, but what she did know was exactly how to take part in a grown-up conversation - she did all the nodding and little responsive sounds that you'd expect and was absolutely enthralled just by the process of being involved in a proper conversation.

This works 99% of the time with babies and almost immediately - often much to the surprise of their mothers and other customers. It also works, though not quite so often, with surly toddlers, bored 10-year-olds and obstreperous teens. Subject of conversation doesn't matter - economics, science, politics, geology works just as well as sport.

 

[Turnstyle]

Another Dad-Gaffer signing in. 2 year old son, with another baby due at the start of next year.

I feel like I go to bed tired, and wake up tired. I don't know if I'm actually typing this or dreaming it.

We just started potty training too. That's an experience! The good thing about being a parent is that you lose any squeamishness about poop and wee you might have ever had. It's amazing how normal scraping a human turd from your furniture can become. They don't start off there, but when he has an accident, removing the pants without spillage is like playing Jenga or Buckeroo. The chances of the cargo remaining in its little hammock long enough to get it to the loo are slim. A sudden kick from him, and a brown comet sails through the air and lands on something that you hope is wipeable.

I love it though (not the poop volleyball, I mean parenting as a whole). It's really rewarding, and the best thing I've ever done. I've read to my son every night since he was born, and I treasure that time. I know it won't last forever. As a result I'm incredibly well versed in the works of Julia Donaldson, probably like most parents. I reckon I could recite most of her books off by heart. Although recently he's been favouring Christmas based books - bit weird in September, but whatever.

Anyone elses kids watch weird stuff on YouTube? When we let my son use the iPad, he goes straight to YouTube and picks videos that have been recommended when we've been finding kids stuff for him, which are mainly unboxing videos for toys, essentially. In fact, I think he'd rather watch videos of people playing with toys than play with them himself. Setting him up as a future Twitch viewer perhaps. He goes mad for them. One of his favourites is watching someone reveal toys hidden in Playdoh. It's baffling.

BTW, I have seen Blippi's Tractor Song video approximately one billion times. It is burned in my brain and will be forever. I'm convinced this guy is taking the piss, or it's some high performance art.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MY4ULeQbkmc

 

[Cat]

Anyone elses kids watch weird stuff on YouTube? When we let my son use the iPad, he goes straight to YouTube and picks videos that have been recommended when we've been finding kids stuff for him, which are mainly unboxing videos for toys, essentially. In fact, I think he'd rather watch videos of people playing with toys than play with them himself. Setting him up as a future Twitch viewer perhaps. He goes mad for them. One of his favourites is watching someone reveal toys hidden in Playdoh. It's baffling.

BTW, I have seen Blippi's Tractor Song video approximately one billion times. It is burned in my brain and will be forever. I'm convinced this guy is taking the piss, or it's some high performance art.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MY4ULeQbkmc

I don't really consider it "weird," but yes, she loved the unwrapping videos with Play-doh too. She hasn't been watching them as much lately. Instead, she's been into a few specific videos with songs about a Monster Truck and Dump Truck. It's so cute!

Yesterday, she was watching these videos with nursery rhyme songs done with Frozen characters (maybe in Flash)? I was internally cracking up because one of them was the Hokey Pokey and Anna would just kind of shift around without really doing the Hokey Pokey.

~~~

The main parenting book I've read and liked is Duct-Tape Parenting. I also recommend the website Troublesome Tots for sleeping tips.

 

[Chopper]

Do you guys have any particularly awesome toy recommendations for a 7/8 month old boy?

 

[Cat]

Do you guys have any particularly awesome toy recommendations for a 7/8 month old boy?

Cloth Blocks

 

[anarckitty]

Anyone elses kids watch weird stuff on YouTube? When we let my son use the iPad, he goes straight to YouTube and picks videos that have been recommended when we've been finding kids stuff for him, which are mainly unboxing videos for toys, essentially. In fact, I think he'd rather watch videos of people playing with toys than play with them himself. Setting him up as a future Twitch viewer perhaps. He goes mad for them. One of his favourites is watching someone reveal toys hidden in Playdoh. It's baffling.

BTW, I have seen Blippi's Tractor Song video approximately one billion times. It is burned in my brain and will be forever. I'm convinced this guy is taking the piss, or it's some high performance art.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MY4ULeQbkmc

My daughter isn't obsessed with youtube, but any time she gets her hands on the tablet she goes straight to Netflix. She usually watches cartoons, but last night she made me so proud. She watched Big Trouble in Little China all the way through with her daddy.

Every time we eat at Kani House she demands to have her picture taken.

 

[Goliath]

Thank god for this thread.

I am a new Parent, (My baby girl is only 5 weeks old tomorrow) and I wanted to know if anyone has dealt with their baby having an Umbilical Hernia? As a new parent I am trying not to freak out over every little thing but it looks so strange. The doctor says it should all be fine by the time she goes to school but a real life anecdote would go along way to making me feel better.

 

[Dalek]

Great idea for a thread, Fiction. There's just something about needing to talk to other parents about things that "single people" just don't understand. I'll post here what I posted from the other thread going on now about being exhausted:

**************
I have a very bad rash on my arm right now from poison oak, and it's made my arm look awful, blistered and swollen. I went to the doctor yesterday and my daughter came along. On the way home in the car, in the backseat she was busy drawing on her clipboard. When we came to a red light she handed me this note:

To: Dad
Address: In front of me

"Hope your rash goes away"
love,Riley

********

She's 7 and is starting to be very bratty and highly emotional which I don't get. She's so incredibly sensitive-it's hard to parent her. But then she does such amazing things-my wife is home sick right now, and my daughter on her own, used the kettle to make some hot water, and made some tea with hot water and brought it to my wife who was resting in bed. She brought it on a tray with some toast and jelly. All on her own-the fact that she thought to do that just makes me so proud of her.

 

[DaiHard]

Subbed! I'm due to become a first time Daddy on November 19th. It's my birthday on the 15th so I'm hoping he comes early so we can share birthdays. Now we are in the final stretch time is dragging, I can't wait for him to arrive!

As a night shift worker does any have any advice for sharing the workload with my partner?

 

[hey_monkey]

Dalek, my 7-year-old is the same, and so is my friends' daughter. Oversensitive and starting to talk back at times. I have been doing some reading and it seems related to some transitions for them but man is it hard.

 

[Dalek]

Dalek, my 7-year-old is the same, and so is my friends' daughter. Oversensitive and starting to talk back at times. I have been doing some reading and it seems related to some transitions for them but man is it hard.

It would make sense-She just started 2nd grade-and boy does she hate change. She won't even let me get a new pair of glasses because she doesn't want anything to change.

 

[AGoodODST]

Put my wee boy into nursary this week. Was seriously not prepared for how hard I would find it.

Of course he goes in straight away no problem and starts playing while my partner and I are blubbering away on the doorstep.

I've been busy all week with work and my university course starting but was off today so called the nursary and told them he was sick. He wasn't sick. I'm bad.

Spoiler

We had an awesome day

 

[yuna55]

Thank god for this thread.

I am a new Parent, (My baby girl is only 5 weeks old tomorrow) and I wanted to know if anyone has dealt with their baby having an Umbilical Hernia? As a new parent I am trying not to freak out over every little thing but it looks so strange. The doctor says it should all be fine by the time she goes to school but a real life anecdote would go along way to making me feel better.

Our daughter has an umbilical hernia, and there have been zero issues with it. She's 3 now and still has it. I think. I honestly forget about it lol

 

[RoryDropkick]

So it is confirmed, I'm going to be a father of twin boys. One boy still isn't cooperating, so we cant see his brain but the doctor is pretty sure every thing is just fine as he sees everything else is working well. Still, I worry.

I don't know what its going to be like handling 2 boys. I hope they arent going to be little jerks.

 

[H.Protagonist]

My 3 year old is my wingman. I'm happy married but not a day goes by where women dont stop us to comment on his looks, particularly his hair.

Yup, you got a looker. It'll either be trouble when he's a teenager or he'll make bank as a catalog model. Good luck!

All my 3 girls have been great sleepers (and still are) just not when the 2 of them had Colic.
There is a simple trick to it.. very simple. Make sure they do not sleep in total silence.
With the first one we put her on the table in her carrycot while we watched movies (with the surround system on), she slept trough a lot of noise. And when we put her out to sleep we put her just outside our door (our entrance was right beside a heavily trafficked road) in her baby carriage. She slept for 3-4 hours without any problems.
And when night time came we just put her in her OWN bed so she could sleep. We never laid there with her..
We did almost the same with all the other kids. And today they are 5,10 and 11. They go to bed, and sleep right away when we ask them to do it. They are heavy sleepers today. When we moved into our new house, we bought some fancy pancy smoke detectors which were connected to each other.. they were so fucking fancy that they went crazy one night each week, always in the middle of the night. So the alarm went crazy in every room in the house.. none of my kids woke up.. not once. lol

So in short.. if you want some kids that sleep well (and alot).. no silence.. (lots of) noise. And never ever get into the habit of laying next to the kid in bed until they fall asleep..

but again that is just how we did it.. it might sound harsh and cruel, but it really isn´t.

No, no, that sounds totally right, actually! My sister did something similar and my niece could nap through anything. The idea of tiptoeing around a baby just seems like a recipe for trouble. There's always noise. Noted on the not sleeping next to them too. Cheers!

Thanks! Congrats to you as well.

So far it hasn't been much different the second time around. I'm finally starting to show (week 27). During my first pregnancy I didn't really start showing until almost 8 months, and then I just seemed to explode outward. I do notice that I'm a lot more tired this time around, although that could be due to working full time and also having a 3 year old. I got lucky both times and had a lot of nausea, but zero morning sickness during the first trimester. My bladder is also a lot weaker compared to the first time around. =/

Listen to others and take full advantage of pampering and also sleep while you can! Good luck!

Wow, not till 27 weeks? I'm 17 now and there's not much there, but it *does* look like I raided the donut shop.

Do think you have your hands full with work and a kid already. I admire your resilience. I was drained my 2nd and 3rd months like nobody's business. Felt like I had mono. My 'morning sickness' was similar to yours, though. No real chucking but lots of queasiness. :/ Second trimester is sooooo much better. Bummer on the bladder. My turnip-sized passenger must be sitting right on top of mine bc I can hardly tell when I need to go.

Noted on the pampering. I shall demand more back rubs as is my due! Wishing you more sleep and back rubs too. Keep me posted on any 3rd trimester fun times.

Thank god for this thread.

I am a new Parent, (My baby girl is only 5 weeks old tomorrow) and I wanted to know if anyone has dealt with their baby having an Umbilical Hernia? As a new parent I am trying not to freak out over every little thing but it looks so strange. The doctor says it should all be fine by the time she goes to school but a real life anecdote would go along way to making me feel better.

My sister's daughter had this and, unfortunately, it was quite the trouble during the time. After they fixed it it came 'unfixed' and they had to redo the surgery a month or two later. She's perfectly fine now and even during she didn't seem too fussed, so don't stress out on it, though. Just keep a close eye and if you need more info if there are complications with yours, hit me up and I'll get details from my sis.

 

[kswiston]

My daughter just passed the 19 month mark and has really transformed from being a baby to being a little kid in the past few months. She is currently obsessed with big trucks, trains, and boats. Kitties, puppies, and horsies are high on the list as well.

 

[Cystm]

Subbing for later. Thank you for putting this thread together. I think I really need it right now.

 

[Dot Matrix]

These are my 2 girls, Autumn and Aria. 5 month old twins. Aria is the one who looks like a Halloween pumpkin, Autumn is the one who looks like an everyday turnip.

They've been pretty ill recently though, 6 trips to the children's hospital in the last 3 months. Waiting on results of some tests to see if there is lasting or permanent damage.

They are great fun when they are happy, but when the reflux kicks in it can be very exhausting. With twins you can't just hand the crying baby to your partner and take a 10 minute break, because your partner is already holding a screaming baby themselves.

But fuck it, I like to play life on hard mode, and before we got pregnant we decided on having 2 kids anyway. This way we don't have to go through the early stages twice.

What does annoy me though is that I've got a dedicated media room in my house with a 3D projector and 106" screen, Dolby Atmos sound, and extensive modern and retro game collection.. and I've not even set foot in there for about 3 weeks. When they start to sleep through the night and we're not perpetually knackered, we'll make use of it.

 

[Goliath]

Our daughter has an umbilical hernia, and there have been zero issues with it. She's 3 now and still has it. I think. I honestly forget about it lol

sister's daughter had this and, unfortunately, it was quite the trouble during the time. After they fixed it it came 'unfixed' and they had to redo the surgery a month or two later. She's perfectly fine now and even during she didn't seem too fussed, so don't stress out on it, though. Just keep a close eye and if you need more info if there are complications with yours, hit me up and I'll get details from my sis.

Thanks for the responses.

 

[Melchettsmoustache]

Ive got two girls, a 5 year old and a 16 month old, Kayla and Emily. I can sympathise with the OP. My youngest is dairy intolerant and the first few weeks were awful till she was diagnosed. The docs were determined that it was simply colic, except the wee one was breastfed so it seemed unlikely that she was colic every time and from birth. Basically my wife hunting through mums.net gave us a diagnoses prior to a nutritionist confirming it. Emily is still small for her age now and she's only just fitting clothes for a 1 year old.

I remember that from about 14 months onward that it becomes fun with them and Emily is a great wee character now. Mad as a March Hare though, apparently no height is dangerous to jump off when your one!

 

[Melchettsmoustache]

I guess an assortment of parents makes this a good space to ask. I don't understand. How does one prepare for this kind of slow torture and abuse that comes from parenting a newborn? The idea of this happening to me makes me never want to be a parent. That and how often babies get sick with terrifying things. How does someone like me get to the point that they don't mind? I can't be the only one. Does it just happen once the child is born, suddenly nothing else matters? Because right now even the very idea of getting baby shit on me is a total repellant for me to ever be a father. I'd love to have a kid minus these things just sound gross and torturous to me and I don't know if people just magically don't mind once they become parents or if they just were Always ready for that.

I would consider myself to be a very attentive dad however if you would have asked me 6 years ago what I would have been like as a parent I would have said I'd be awful as I'm too self centred. I've got my own business and I have always been about my work, now I work to give my girls the life I want them to have. I believe I'm calmer and much more understanding of what people go through on a daily basis. Being a parent has categorically made me a more social and better person simply because I don't live with tunnel vision now. Your life might not change the second you hold your child but it will change in the period around the birth, your mentality will change to accommodate a perspective you may never have had before, that this creature your holding is more important than your own life and it's a very strange feeling when it hits home like that.

I was sitting in our lounge, the day after we got home from the hospital when the thought popped into my head, Everlong playing in the background, trying to get Kayla back to sleep while my wife tried to sleep upstairs when my mind started to racing as to what happens if she's sick? What if she has an accident? what if there's a fire? I welled up and then it dawned on me that as long as I have breath in my body I will do my damndest to make sure she is healthy. Different man from that point onwards.

The shit is a thing you just accept. When Emily was still in hospital I was going to change her and had popped her onto the changing mat on the wee table we had. My sister in law has always shied away from changing any of her nieces and nephews because she claims their shit makes her puke. Well a babies first few movements are generally like a black tar substance only slightly less viscous than plasticine and the SiL is sitting talking to my wife whilst I get get prepped to change Emily. I made a rookie mistake and opened the old nappy and whipped it off before I had the new nappy properly in place when Emily decided it was time for No.2. There was nothing I could do to stop the poo coming, my right hand was holding Emily's legs away from the table to allow me access to change her and with that I shouted "Karen .... Check this" and basically caught all of the black, warm, stinking tar in my left hand. She legged it to be sick in the toilet! As I say, when it's your kid you just accept it. If thats the only shit from her that I have clear up in my life then I'll be doing well.

 

[SuperOrez]

I feel so shitty right now. I've decided to retire from competitive gaming to focus on more on my girls. They're 6 and 2. It was just to hard trying to attend local tournaments and I would just set myself and my friends up for disappointment. It suckscause I feel like I've burned all my bridges but I also feel like I did the right thing. It's not about me anymore, they're the ones I need to make great.

 

[Poop!]

Cosleeping is great. Until you can't get your five year old out of the bed. Heh. Luckily we upgraded to a king size so all four of us fit.

We did two full mattresses together on the floor. When the 2 year old started sleeping through the night we split the beds apart a little further each night. Then I would lay with him until he went to sleep then move to the other bed. Now he sleeps by himself with no problem in his own bed.

I've found from co-sleeping parents if they co-sleep from birth then they don't come back but if you let them "cry it out" and separate them early then they get needy and attached and come back when they are older.

It's like a bird, keep them in the nest until they are ready to fly on their own then they don't come back. But push a bird out too early and they just squawk to get back in.

 

[mrklaw]

Those of you with older children - tweens/teens - how do you deal with bedtime routines?

For our 14 year old, he goes to his room at 9.30pm because we'd like some time to ourselves too . He doesn't need to go to bed straight away, but we don't allow computers or his iPad so no clash of clans until 1am.

But this made me realise just how different things are these days. When my wife and I were younger, we'd read a book, or listen to the radio or tapes. But for our kids to do those things, they use computers (whether phone, tablet or laptop). So how do you allow them to do some quieter, more relaxing activities in their rooms, without opening them up to the temptation to message their friends all night, or play games?

It's almost like I'd want parental controls combined with 'do not disturb' mode, so I can set a category of app that can or can't be used - eg music apps or reading apps are ok 24/7, but games and any messaging are disabled between 10pm-6am

 

[Omikron]

These are my 2 girls, Autumn and Aria. 5 month old twins. Aria is the one who looks like a Halloween pumpkin, Autumn is the one who looks like an everyday turnip.





They've been pretty ill recently though, 6 trips to the children's hospital in the last 3 months. Waiting on results of some tests to see if there is lasting or permanent damage.

They are great fun when they are happy, but when the reflux kicks in it can be very exhausting. With twins you can't just hand the crying baby to your partner and take a 10 minute break, because your partner is already holding a screaming baby themselves.

But fuck it, I like to play life on hard mode, and before we got pregnant we decided on having 2 kids anyway. This way we don't have to go through the early stages twice.

What does annoy me though is that I've got a dedicated media room in my house with a 3D projector and 106" screen, Dolby Atmos sound, and extensive modern and retro game collection.. and I've not even set foot in there for about 3 weeks. When they start to sleep through the night and we're not perpetually knackered, we'll make use of it.

Nice work. Nice to see some other twin / multiples out there. It sure isn't easy but it is pretty rewarding ultimately.

Ours just hit 9 months, but getting there early was one of the most confronting experiences I have ever been through. Prematurity is a hell of a thing and science is incredible.

Anyway. If there are any questions. More than happy to answer for anyone wanting insight on twins or nicu experiences.

Onto the pictorial including our 4yo.

 

[H.Protagonist]

It's a bit late to balk at becoming a parent, but seeing my sister-in-law struggle with her daughter gives me the shivers. Her baby is 4 months now and a hardcore day screamer. The baby won't/can't take more than one or two 20 minute naps a day and spends much of the rest in a perpetual knife-edge state of going into meltdown. My sister-in-law is staying with the parents to help and it takes shifts of all three constantly carrying and distracting her to keep the peace. I feel so bad. The level of tension in the house is almost tangible. She's been referred to a special sleep clinic to try and sort it, but just watching this all is scary when you're heading towards a kid. :/ I know it's not the norm(please, please tell me it's not the norm), but I wish I could just grant an iota of peace to parents with more difficult situations (I'm lookin' at you, Crunched).

Nice work. Nice to see some other twin / multiples out there. It sure isn't easy but it is pretty rewarding ultimately.

Ours just hit 9 months, but getting there early was one of the most confronting experiences I have ever been through. Prematurity is a hell of a thing and science is incredible.

Anyway. If there are any questions. More than happy to answer for anyone wanting insight on twins or nicu experiences.

Onto the pictorial including our 4yo.

'Grats again, Omi. We're in Adelaide right now visiting the in-laws and went to see one of my husband's childhood friends that has twins, and my oh my does it look challenging. He and his wife are great at tag-teaming it, but props to all you parents of multiples out there. Not sure I could do it.

 

[ElNino]

Great thread. My boys are 9 and 3. Every day is an adventure with them, but I would do anything for them.

It's really interesting to see how much different their personalities and interests are despite being raised in essentially the same environment. My oldest was reading and learning different languages when he was two, where as my youngest couldn't care less about reading but wants to play any sport we will let him.

Together, they are generally well behaved and sleep together almost every night.

Here's a pic of them from one of our camping trips this summer.

 

[Dalek]

It's a bit late to balk at becoming a patent, but seeing my sister-in-law struggle with her daughter gives me the shivers. Her baby is 4 months now and a hardcore day screamer. The baby won't/can't take more than one or two 20 minute naps a day and spends much of the rest in a perpetual knife-edge state of going into meltdown. My sister-in-law is staying with the parents to help and it takes shifts of all three constantly carrying and distracting her to keep the peace. I feel so bad. The level of tension in the house is almost tangible. She's been referred to a special sleep clinic to try and sort it, but just watching this all is scary when you're heading towards a kid. :/ I know it's not the norm(please, please tell me it's not the norm), but I wish I could just grant an iota of peace to parents with more difficult situations (I'm lookin' at you, Crunched).




'Grats again, Omi. We're in Adelaide right now visiting the in-laws and went to see one of my husband's childhood friends that has twins, and my oh my does it look challenging. He and his wife are great at tag-teaming it, but props to all you parents of multiples out there. Not sure I could do it.

My daughter was somewhat like this and my wife had post partum. Fun times, let me tell you.

My daughter is 7 now, and she's still a lousy sleeper. It takes her forever to fall asleep.

 

[H.Protagonist]

My daughter was somewhat like this and my wife had post partum. Fun times, let me tell you.

My daughter is 7 now, and she's still a lousy sleeper. It takes her forever to fall asleep.

:/ You played on Nightmare Mode, huh?

Can't say I'm not scared of the postpartum. Even now I get these weird upsurges of random, focus-less emotion way out of proportion to reality. I can't even imagine (or don't want to contemplate) what a catastrophic dip that lingered would do. Just seeing my sister-in-law's all-consuming 24-7 routine is a bit depressing, much less going through something like that. My hat goes off to you, sir, for making it through all that. Did you do anything special to get through it or just shoulder to the wind and march forward until it ended?

 

[bigjig]

It's a bit late to balk at becoming a parent, but seeing my sister-in-law struggle with her daughter gives me the shivers. Her baby is 4 months now and a hardcore day screamer. The baby won't/can't take more than one or two 20 minute naps a day and spends much of the rest in a perpetual knife-edge state of going into meltdown. My sister-in-law is staying with the parents to help and it takes shifts of all three constantly carrying and distracting her to keep the peace. I feel so bad. The level of tension in the house is almost tangible. She's been referred to a special sleep clinic to try and sort it, but just watching this all is scary when you're heading towards a kid. :/ I know it's not the norm(please, please tell me it's not the norm), but I wish I could just grant an iota of peace to parents with more difficult situations (I'm lookin' at you, Crunched).

My wife and I are going through this right now with our 4 1/2 mth old daughter, which isn't at all helping with my wife's post-partum depression. Somebody please tell me this stage ends sometime soon

 

[Dalek]

:/ You played on Nightmare Mode, huh?

Can't say I'm not scared of the postpartum. Even now I get these weird upsurges of random, focus-less emotion way out of proportion to reality. I can't even imagine (or don't want to contemplate) what a catastrophic dip that lingered would do. Just seeing my sister-in-law's all-consuming 24-7 routine is a bit depressing, much less going through something like that. My hat goes off to you, sir, for making it through all that. Did you do anything special to get through it or just shoulder to the wind and march forward until it ended?

The latter. It's gotten "better" but it's still exhausting. We put her to bed around 8, but some nights she won't fall asleep until 10 or even later. It's maddening. All her friends put themselves to bed around 7:30 and are asleep by 8. I love her, but at the end of the day, I wish she'd fall asleep earlier. Also, getting her up every morning for school is a challenge because she's exhausted from the night before. Then on Saturday and Sunday, she's up at 7am before everyone else. It's crazy.

 

[Patchy]

Man taking your 10 month old to childcare and having them cry and reach for you when you pass them to the staff...

Heartbreaking stuff, hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life.

 

[choodi]

Man taking your 10 month old to childcare and having them cry and reach for you when you pass them to the staff...

Heartbreaking stuff, hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life.

Yep. But trust me that 5 minutes after you're out the door, that little ball of tears is happily playing with the other kids without a care in the world.

 

[Birbo]

Man taking your 10 month old to childcare and having them cry and reach for you when you pass them to the staff...

Heartbreaking stuff, hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life.

Know that feel. First time I had to do it, my son was three and daughter was 9 months. She was ok, but he cried and pleaded "Daddy, don't leave me!" I felt horrible and cried as soon as I got to my car. And that same day happened to be my birthday.

 

[Dot Matrix]

Nice work. Nice to see some other twin / multiples out there. It sure isn't easy but it is pretty rewarding ultimately.

Ours just hit 9 months, but getting there early was one of the most confronting experiences I have ever been through. Prematurity is a hell of a thing and science is incredible.

Anyway. If there are any questions. More than happy to answer for anyone wanting insight on twins or nicu experiences.

Onto the pictorial including our 4yo.

It's really hard at the moment as they are going through sleep regression, teething and reflux all at the same time. They've started needing night feeds again but just won't settle back down after being fed.

I'm banking on it being rewarding later but it's so hard to see anything further than dreading each night.

Luckily they didn't need to go into nicu as they were only 2 days premature. They were 7 and a half pounds each at birth and completely healthy. My wife takes them to a twin club every week and they are bigger than most of the others there that are twice their age.

Childcare costs are a worry though. My wife's maternity ends in a couple of months and paying for 2 to go to a nursery is pretty expensive.

 

[JeTmAn81]

My little lady turned 1 last month. She's pretty great. Doesn't walk or say a ton of words yet, but she's very social and smiles all the time. I like to think that myself and her mother had something to do with that by making sure to smile at her a lot.

Unfortunately, her mother is in very ill health (chronic pain and bladder issues) so I work from home full time in order to be available to help out with the baby. Her mother's usually not up until 11 in the morning so I'm up with the baby. I also have to do all the cooking, housework, grocery shopping and driving my wife to 3-5 medical appointments per week.

I'm pretty exhausted and our finances are totally tapped out but I still feel that same joy every time I look at my daughter's beautiful face. Luckily she sleeps 12 hours a night straight, every night and has done so since she was about 3 months old. She's really a very easy baby in most ways. Hasn't really been sick at all, no dietary issues, eats pretty much everything we throw at her without an issue.

If she was a difficult baby I don't know what we'd do since I'm stretched to the limit as it is. We have absolutely no help so it's pretty much just me taking care of everything.

 

[aett]

Three weeks until Baby #2's due date, but she's been stretching and pushing down hard, so my wife has been hurting quite a bit lately. Our first kid was born late and barely moved in comparison, so hopefully this one will be born at least a little sooner.

 

[Deleted member 125677]

Scarlet fever in the house, the little one (3) has barely been able to eat for several days, and has slept very poorly.

The antibiotics seem to be making progress though, but slowly, his mouth/throat is so soar he can't really eat anything solid

 

[Patchy]

My little one has discovered his boy bits, hard to keep a straight face when he is going to town. Haha.

 

[Omikron]

It's really hard at the moment as they are going through sleep regression, teething and reflux all at the same time. They've started needing night feeds again but just won't settle back down after being fed.

I'm banking on it being rewarding later but it's so hard to see anything further than dreading each night.

Luckily they didn't need to go into nicu as they were only 2 days premature. They were 7 and a half pounds each at birth and completely healthy. My wife takes them to a twin club every week and they are bigger than most of the others there that are twice their age.

Childcare costs are a worry though. My wife's maternity ends in a couple of months and paying for 2 to go to a nursery is pretty expensive.

Ours were ~10 weeks early (1.6 and 1.4 kgs), think twin 1 spent about 6-7 weeks in the hospital, the other 10. Is a long time to say the least. Then ~6 months or so on low-flow oxygen at home for twin 2.

We just got through about a month of pretty fucking terrible sleep, both boys were up sometimes 3-4 times a night mostly due to teething I think. But the last few days its progressively been getting back to once a night which is an insane improvement. My wife was struggling in particular with just the amount of feeds. (both boys breast feeding + baby led weaning approach during the days). But now they are pretty much eating a proper lunch makes it much easier for me to look after them for quite a few hours now if she needs to get out and have a break for a while during the day. Is good.

Childcare is crazy expensive really (our eldest still goes twice a week)... we are sorta wondering if it's even worthwhile for my wife to go back to work, I think we would be ok without her doing so, which is incredibly fortunate.

 

[H.Protagonist]

My wife and I are going through this right now with our 4 1/2 mth old daughter, which isn't at all helping with my wife's post-partum depression. Somebody please tell me this stage ends sometime soon

Sorry, man. Just got back from seeing the sister-in-law's nugget in action and the struggle is real. :/ I will say that she did seem better than advertised and it seems like something that smooths out or is smoothing out, so just keeping getting through each day and I think you'll get a break in the clouds soon. When I find out how her specialized clinic run goes I'll post in case any of it might help you or anyone else out. Hang in there.

The latter. It's gotten "better" but it's still exhausting. We put her to bed around 8, but some nights she won't fall asleep until 10 or even later. It's maddening. All her friends put themselves to bed around 7:30 and are asleep by 8. I love her, but at the end of the day, I wish she'd fall asleep earlier. Also, getting her up every morning for school is a challenge because she's exhausted from the night before. Then on Saturday and Sunday, she's up at 7am before everyone else. It's crazy.

Argh, that sounds really frustrating. Do you think enrolling her in some kind of hardcore physical activity or mental stimulation course during the day might burn her out so that she drops off early and sleeps sounder?

My little lady turned 1 last month. She's pretty great. Doesn't walk or say a ton of words yet, but she's very social and smiles all the time. I like to think that myself and her mother had something to do with that by making sure to smile at her a lot.

Unfortunately, her mother is in very ill health (chronic pain and bladder issues) so I work from home full time in order to be available to help out with the baby. Her mother's usually not up until 11 in the morning so I'm up with the baby. I also have to do all the cooking, housework, grocery shopping and driving my wife to 3-5 medical appointments per week.

I'm pretty exhausted and our finances are totally tapped out but I still feel that same joy every time I look at my daughter's beautiful face. Luckily she sleeps 12 hours a night straight, every night and has done so since she was about 3 months old. She's really a very easy baby in most ways. Hasn't really been sick at all, no dietary issues, eats pretty much everything we throw at her without an issue.

If she was a difficult baby I don't know what we'd do since I'm stretched to the limit as it is. We have absolutely no help so it's pretty much just me taking care of everything.

'Grats on the dream baby, but really sorry to hear about your wife's issues. Sounds like you're managing it beautifully all things considered, but I know it's damned hard. Hoping things get better with her soon.

Childcare is crazy expensive really (our eldest still goes twice a week)... we are sorta wondering if it's even worthwhile for my wife to go back to work, I think we would be ok without her doing so, which is incredibly fortunate.

The childcare thing is a tough fix, huh? I keep seeing news specials on it and how sky high it is right now. We've sort of decided that I'll take the hit and stay home when it's born just because it makes the most logistical sense (he's earning more right now and my work's all remote, anyway, plus if the whole breastfeeding thing works out, that's money saved, I guess), but I was never the type who wanted to be a stay at home mom and part of me finds the idea really unpalatable because of the hit I'll take to my career and, frankly, a 24-7 job that never ends and absorbs your whole life is scary to me. I'm not exactly a sentimental type either, so all the stuff people keep citing as 'upsides' (those 'oooo' moments, babies smiling, looking cute, etc.) don't do much for me. Is this something your wife (or anyone else here) struggles with now with the twins...?

 

[hey_monkey]

I was a mostly stay-at-home mom for the first year of my son's life and I was no good at it. I was in classes two days a week, and I worked from home but did everything at night, so it could have been that I was simply exhausted, but I'm not particularly great at the repetitive minutiae of playing with babies. Some people love it. I'm not one of them. I just cooked up lots of outings for us so the time of pushing trucks in the same way 1000000 times was cut down and we had a lot of adventures together instead, so everything worked out fine.

I wonder if a lot of our anxieties as parents come from thinking there's mostly one way to do things when really, kids are terribly resilient and we can kind of just do whatever with them. My daughter is so different from my son that I feel she's taught me a lot of zen about child-rearing.