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[H.Protagonist]

Update. My baby still had no heartbeat. I got sent to emergency for a D&C and they refused to do it after a blood test saying my hormone is a little high and there's been one case where the baby survived. That was last Wednesday and I've just been waiting at home for the miscarriage. If it doesn't happen by Wednesday I go back to hospital.

I'm really sorry, Cilla. I know that feeling all too well. If you want to talk about it, feel free to PM.

 

[otake]

Glad I found this thread. We are expecting. Tomorrow is the first sonogram. It was bad timing in that sense, we couldn't get a doctors appointment during the holidays. She has a belly, must to be over 2 months pregnant and we know nothing regarding the baby.

Kinda scary in that regard. Debating getting a house in a better school district.

 

[Donos]

From the pickup thread in Gaming:

biggest pickup of 2015 for me: a little daughter... (two weeks old now)

Nights are short, gaming time shrunk to almost 0 (thank god for supsend and resume) but when she looks at me or has a little random smile, there is nothing more beautiful in the world.

 

[choodi]

My brother got me a PS4 game for xmas and it seemed more like a cruel taunt than a nice gift.

Like me, it will primarily be used to stream kids shows on Netflix 😉

 

[Milksheikhs]

My girls managed to stay out of hospital for xmas and new year! It's actually been 7 weeks since they had to stay in overnight; there have been a few visits but we were able to come home the same day.

Sleep still eludes us but it is getting better. They never sleep later than 6AM, so a lie in or morning bedroom fun is just a distant memory.

On the plus side my home theatre finally got some use the other day.. we watched Mr Tumble and Rastamouse on it. My brother got me a PS4 game for xmas and it seemed more like a cruel taunt than a nice gift.

Oh my goodness! Your girls are so adorable!

Update. My baby still had no heartbeat. I got sent to emergency for a D&C and they refused to do it after a blood test saying my hormone is a little high and there's been one case where the baby survived. That was last Wednesday and I've just been waiting at home for the miscarriage. If it doesn't happen by Wednesday I go back to hospital.

I'm very sorry to hear this and can't even imagine how hard and stressful this must be for you. Stay strong

 

[RoryDropkick]

It's over, it's finally over. Andrew is home!! He is overwhelmed with everything and is crying up a storm, but I am absolutely happy to have him home with us, he can be united with his brother for the first time outside of the womb. The real parenting adventure can begin!

 

[Ceallach]

My little tomboy, lol. She looks like a little asian baby boy.

 

[Steeped in a Sea of Games]

My son is 2 years 3 months and I love him more than anything (except my daughter), but he's in a phase where he never stops talking (seriously, when he's alone in his room for nap time, he keeps it going). On top of that, he refuses to ever play alone for long and pretty much demands non-stop attention. I'm glad he's learning and wants to spend time with me, but with my daughter (1 year in two weeks) also going through a bout of separation anxiety, I'm exhausted. Never even a second to myself since they both nap at different times. Not to mention that we have to get out of the house at least 5 times a week or my son goes crazy from boredom and winter has made doing that a total bitch.

I've finished 1 game in the last 6 months (mgsV) and now I'm looking for an evening job (I plan on still watching the kids during the day) so we can get a down payment on a bigger house. Ugh! It's 11 pm and I only have the energy to browse gaf while thinking about how I'll have to be awake soon. I'm mostly happy and wouldn't trade this experience for anything, but the wife and I are a little like zombies all the time right now. The price you pay for living 1000 miles from your nearest relatives. I guess this is my new normal? At least my daughter isn't waking up screaming in the middle of the night much anymore.

Sorry for the long rant. Had to get it out.

 

[Red]

.

 

[Icefire1424]

Rant on man, that's part of the point of this thread. I've certainly done the same on here as well.

My daughter is 21 months now and still not the greatest sleeper, so I can relate to feeling like a zombie. You guys are one up on us however having two kids, so hats of to you both. I love my daughter more than anything, and there is nothing I wouldn't do for her, but I too have those moments of "is this really my life now?" Yes, personal time is essentially nil, I haven't gotten through a game since Dragon Age Inquisition (sometime this Summer, I think?), and in my case the relationship between the wife and I has been strained, but we've kept pushing forward. Despite the challenges, the stress and the frustration, I've been encouraged by the little victories - when little one went from waking up two to three times a night to one, seeing her play by herself instead of always needing to be crawling over one (or both) of us, and her improved ability to communicate her needs to us, resulting in less frustration.

Being away from family does make it tough. We're a couple hundred miles away from our nearest relatives, so we're pretty much on our own as well. Despite that we haven't used a babysitter for little one, but I think that might be something we might look into soon, just to get some time for the two of us, even if just for a couple hours or so. Might be something to think about for you guys as well - just to get that moment of reprieve.

For us (and me in particular), what's kept us going is just taking things a day at a time, and enjoy the moments you have, even if they are painfully brief sometimes. Communicate with your spouse about what you're feeling, and encourage her to do the same. That is a mistake I made, and am still working to get better.

Hang in there man!

 

[Steeped in a Sea of Games]

Thanks for the encouragement! Luckily, my wife and I have a pretty solid relationship despite it all, though we definitely both snap at each other a little more often than we used to. Try to hang on yourself! These first few years are a real challenge on relationships. It helps that my wife and I were married for 8 years before we had our first.

My daughter turns 1 in two weeks and it almost feels hard to believe it. It's why I can't really feel too terrible about things. Time really flies and before I know it, they'll be grown up. They are turning me grey though (seriously, I grew my hair out for the first time in awhile and I can't believe how much grey I've found in my beard and sideburns!)

 

[Icefire1424]

Thanks for the encouragement! Luckily, my wife and I have a pretty solid relationship despite it all, though we definitely both snap at each other a little more often than we used to. Try to hang on yourself! These first few years are a real challenge on relationships. It helps that my wife and I were married for 8 years before we had our first.

My daughter turns 1 in two weeks and it almost feels hard to believe it. It's why I can't really feel too terrible about things. Time really flies and before I know it, they'll be grown up. They are turning me grey though (seriously, I grew my hair out for the first time in awhile and I can't believe how much grey I've found in my beard and sideburns!)

We were married for 4 years before kiddo got here, but were together for quite awhile before. It's certainly a strain, but I'll admit that it helps to know we're not the only ones going through this. I think it's tough for me in particular as it's really hard for me to approach difficult talks with her sometimes. I tend to bottle things up and try to muscle through it all, but at the same time know it's not the best way to approach the situation. Still learning, and all that.

And good Lord, you aren't kidding about the grey hair. Had just a couple in the scruff before, now it's very noticeable and creeping all the way up to the temples. I'm only 33! Wasn't expecting that for at least a few more years!

 

[Steeped in a Sea of Games]

We were married for 4 years before kiddo got here, but were together for quite awhile before. It's certainly a strain, but I'll admit that it helps to know we're not the only ones going through this. I think it's tough for me in particular as it's really hard for me to approach difficult talks with her sometimes. I tend to bottle things up and try to muscle through it all, but at the same time know it's not the best way to approach the situation. Still learning, and all that.

We both have this problem with my wife's family. Her parents just don't know how to talk about anything beyond surface crap. It's incredibly frustrating because we never know when someone's annoyed, angry, happy, etc. It's caused a lot of friction between us (especially between them and me). I honestly had to work on it with my wife because she had a hard time opening up in the beginning because of it. It is difficult, but even if you can't ever really open up with your wife, you should definitely practice on being open with your child. It's super hard not having parents willing to be frank with you.

And good Lord, you aren't kidding about the grey hair. Had just a couple in the scruff before, now it's very noticeable and creeping all the way up to the temples. I'm only 33! Wasn't expecting that for at least a few more years!

I feel you, dude. 32 here. It's a little shocking haha.

 

[Halcyon]

Question.

I am 6'3, my wife is 5'9. We're currently in the market for a stroller.


My first opinion is as such:

A jogger stroller that you can also click in the infant car seat.

I've read most of the reviews that say these things are heavier and bulkier as a CON. I'm not concerned with that. I lift weights and my wife is a pilates instructor. So the benefit of having nice big wheels to get up and down stairs or curbs and stuff seems like a big plus to me. Plus it being sturdier and maybe taller means I won't have to hunch over as much.

They don't look that much bigger than a regular travel stroller. So at some point I could just get an umbrella stroller or something lighter for the wife to use when going to the store or running errands. I have a SUV with third row seating that lowers for easy stroller storage.


What have been people's experiences in the stroller-game.

 

[Halcyon]

I'm 5'9, was never super strong, and had a similar jeep stroller (it was a two seater) that could hold a car seat for my first two. It was a bit ungainly on turns, but even after a c-section I didn't have many problems with it.

Umbrella strollers are hell of cheap. Just keep one in the car for going inside places. The bigger on would be for long walks and such.

Thanks! That's what I figured. I'm think reading Babies R Us comments is probably not the best cross-section of opinion.

 

[crazygambit]

Question.

I am 6'3, my wife is 5'9. We're currently in the market for a stroller.


My first opinion is as such:


A jogger stroller that you can also click in the infant car seat.



I've read most of the reviews that say these things are heavier and bulkier as a CON. I'm not concerned with that. I lift weights and my wife is a pilates instructor. So the benefit of having nice big wheels to get up and down stairs or curbs and stuff seems like a big plus to me. Plus it being sturdier and maybe taller means I won't have to hunch over as much.

They don't look that much bigger than a regular travel stroller. So at some point I could just get an umbrella stroller or something lighter for the wife to use when going to the store or running errands. I have a SUV with third row seating that lowers for easy stroller storage.


What have been people's experiences in the stroller-game.

The stroller is heavy for a "lightweight" stroller and the huge wheels make it take up a lot of room in your trunk. However compared to a full standard stroller it's not that heavy.

A lightweight stroller is something like the Britax B-Agile. Easy fold, non removable seat that reclines by loosening some straps. A full stroller has removable seat that can face either forward or backwards and has a recline mechanism. They usually have better wheels and suspension as well, something like the Britax Affinity (which is what I use).

I've seen that stroller, but I've never "driven" it, so I don't know how sturdy it feels. I'm thinking the big air filled wheels will make the ride smooth, which is definitely a plus. I've tried other lightweight strollers (the B-Agile in particular) and they're terrible if the pavement isn't perfectly even.

However if you're not looking to actually jog, then maybe I'd consider a full stroller if you're not concerned with bulk. Like I said I have the Affinity and I think it's fantastic.

As for umbrella strollers, those are for older toddlers, don't put a baby in those. They're meant so you can easily carry them when they get tired of walking.

 

[Halcyon]

The stroller is heavy for a "lightweight" stroller and the huge wheels make it take up a lot of room in your trunk. However compared to a full standard stroller it's not that heavy.

A lightweight stroller is something like the Britax B-Agile. Easy fold, non removable seat that reclines by loosening some straps. A full stroller has removable seat that can face either forward or backwards and has a recline mechanism. They usually have better wheels and suspension as well, something like the Britax Affinity (which is what I use).

I've seen that stroller, but I've never "driven" it, so I don't know how sturdy it feels. I'm thinking the big air filled wheels will make the ride smooth, which is definitely a plus. I've tried other lightweight strollers (the B-Agile in particular) and they're terrible if the pavement isn't perfectly even.

However if you're not looking to actually jog, then maybe I'd consider a full stroller if you're not concerned with bulk. Like I said I have the Affinity and I think it's fantastic.

As for umbrella strollers, those are for older toddlers, don't put a baby in those. They're meant so you can easily carry them when they get tired of walking.

I'd probably do a bit of actual jogging. I'll look into those brands right now because fuck work.

 

[H.Protagonist]

Question.

I am 6'3, my wife is 5'9. We're currently in the market for a stroller.


My first opinion is as such:


A jogger stroller that you can also click in the infant car seat.



I've read most of the reviews that say these things are heavier and bulkier as a CON. I'm not concerned with that. I lift weights and my wife is a pilates instructor. So the benefit of having nice big wheels to get up and down stairs or curbs and stuff seems like a big plus to me. Plus it being sturdier and maybe taller means I won't have to hunch over as much.

They don't look that much bigger than a regular travel stroller. So at some point I could just get an umbrella stroller or something lighter for the wife to use when going to the store or running errands. I have a SUV with third row seating that lowers for easy stroller storage.


What have been people's experiences in the stroller-game.

We just got a Steelcraft Agile Plus II based on portability/durability. It also had to be light enough for me to maneuver the sucker (5'4", 104lbs), so def no problem for you guys. It looks a bit bulky, but it folded up pretty nice in the end and came with all these storm covers and attachable snuggy thingies and shit. The saleslady also said it worked well for taller people. If you get a chance, I'd go in take it for a test spin.

 

[Halcyon]

Another related but random question.

For the infant carseat do you basically just keep it in the house, get the baby dressed then put it in the carseat, then take the carseat to the car and click it in,

or is it easier to keep the carseat clicked in the car, and just carry the baby outside and to the car then strap he/she in.


I'm trying to prepare my brain for the most efficient method of doing things.

 

[Vincent Grayson]

Another related but random question.

For the infant carseat do you basically just keep it in the house, get the baby dressed then put it in the carseat, then take the carseat to the car and click it in,

or is it easier to keep the carseat clicked in the car, and just carry the baby outside and to the car then strap he/she in.


I'm trying to prepare my brain for the most efficient method of doing things.

Mostly, I feel like it depends on your car. If you've got a lower car and are going to have to bend down to put the kid in each time, I'd say you're better off loading them in the house. That, and if the baby is already in the seat, it's one less thing to fiddle with if you're rolling solo.

 

[Halcyon]

Mostly, I feel like it depends on your car. If you've got a lower car and are going to have to bend down to put the kid in each time, I'd say you're better off loading them in the house. That, and if the baby is already in the seat, it's one less thing to fiddle with if you're rolling solo.

Cool,

While i'm throwing out 20 questions: Diaper bag. As a guy am I just grabbing the one that looks like a shitty coach bag that my wife wants us to get, or am I getting a separate backpack MAN-diaper bag with duplicate items in it.

 

[Steeped in a Sea of Games]

Another related but random question.

For the infant carseat do you basically just keep it in the house, get the baby dressed then put it in the carseat, then take the carseat to the car and click it in,

or is it easier to keep the carseat clicked in the car, and just carry the baby outside and to the car then strap he/she in.


I'm trying to prepare my brain for the most efficient method of doing things.

I kept the carseat inside until they were both 1. Putting them in the seat inside and not squirming around in the car was just easier. Around one they'll usually sit a lot more still and they also start getting too heavy to lug around in the seat.

Cool,

While i'm throwing out 20 questions: Diaper bag. As a guy am I just grabbing the one that looks like a shitty coach bag that my wife wants us to get, or am I getting a separate backpack MAN-diaper bag with duplicate items in it.

Go with what you feel you need. Dealing with an exploded diaper and you can't find what you need while you're covered in shit and barf and baby is screaming can be pretty frustrating. If you don't mind your wife's organizational skills, then I wouldn't bother. Turns out I barely ever needed a diaper bag past the first three months, but you might be different.

 

[crazygambit]

Another related but random question.

For the infant carseat do you basically just keep it in the house, get the baby dressed then put it in the carseat, then take the carseat to the car and click it in,

or is it easier to keep the carseat clicked in the car, and just carry the baby outside and to the car then strap he/she in.


I'm trying to prepare my brain for the most efficient method of doing things.

The infant carseat is meant to be kept in the house. The base is installed in the car. The whole point is to get the baby all strapped and setup in the comfort of your home, rather than having to do it hastily in your car. Those are good for babies up to about 8 months old. The whole point is to get the baby in and out of the car without disturbing their sleep.

Once they outgrow those, you'll have to get a convertible car seat (one that can rear and front face) and then you'll have no choice, but to strap your baby inside the car. Those are meant to stay always installed in the car, since it's usually a pain to install them.

Edit: For infant carsear I'm referring to the ones in Travel Systems, the ones that attach to the stroller in case it wasn't clear.

 

[phisheep]

Another related but random question.

For the infant carseat do you basically just keep it in the house, get the baby dressed then put it in the carseat, then take the carseat to the car and click it in,

or is it easier to keep the carseat clicked in the car, and just carry the baby outside and to the car then strap he/she in.


I'm trying to prepare my brain for the most efficient method of doing things.

For me it all depended on what happened when I last took the baby out of the car. Baby asleep? Bring the whole chair+baby indoors. Baby awake? Just bring the baby, because it's a lot less to carry.

In practice that meant the seat stayed in the car all the time for our first, was always shuttled between car and house for our third, and the second one changed her mind every trip.

 

[Skellig Gra]

So I'm trying to figure out some sort of budget for the first year of my sons life (due in Feb) but I haven't found anything helpful online so far. All I know for sure is that daycare will be about 1.4k a month. We live right outside of NYC so things are a little pricier than your average area. Anyone have any input on what 1 kid costs a year assuming all the necessary stuff is purchased up front (crib,bottles,stroller, etc)?

 

[Steeped in a Sea of Games]

So I'm trying to figure out some sort of budget for the first year of my sons life (due in Feb) but I haven't found anything helpful online so far. All I know for sure is that daycare will be about 1.4k a month. We live right outside of NYC so things are a little pricier than your average area. Anyone have any input on what 1 kid costs a year assuming all the necessary stuff is purchased up front (crib,bottles,stroller, etc)?

Look, I'm sure it's possible to narrow it down, but really, it's hard to truly know how much your kid is going to cost you as expenses love to pop up at random.

Some examples:
- Is your kid sick all the time or healthy? Time at the doctor, medicine, hospital visits (I've known a few people who spent most of the first year at the hospital), time you have to take off to take care of them etc. Allergies, accidents, etc... It's really an unknown and can vary.

- Outside help: Do you have family to help when needed or do you need to pay a babysitter? How often do you need said babysitter? Do you hermit away for awhile to avoid paying for babysitters (I've been to like 5 movies in the last 2.5 years)?

- Sleeping: Full blown out nursery or just sleep in the same room as you? My son and my daughter slept in a basinet by our bed until around 3 months when they switched to a crib (also in our room, supposedly helps lower chances with SIDS) until around 7-8 months. They didn't move into their own room until close to 1 year when they needed the extra quiet. A fully decorated nursery can cost a ton.

- Clothes and toys: how much you need to buy vs. how much is given to you. How often you see something adorable you just have to have. What tastes in toys your children start to lean towards and what that entails.

- Breastfeed vs. formula: We tried to breastfeed both our kids for the first year, but my wife's production of milk just quit after the first 7 months for my son which added literally hundreds of dollars worth of formula onto the budget.

- How many activities you sign them up for: Only daycare? Infant music time? ECFE classes? Swimming class? Baby Yoga? Expensive trip to the zoo vs. walk in the park. All these can vary based on your moods.

- Photos: I've known people who have spent a small fortune on professional pictures during the first couple years. (I think they're crazy, but I can't knock how someone else wants to celebrate their child)

Anyhow, a kid can be incredibly cheap, especially the first year if you're super frugal as all they really need is to be with you to be happy, but you can go crazy all out and spend thousands. It's all up to your own personal tastes and wants for your kid.

 

[Halcyon]

I just realized my oldest son has pretty much grown a mustache and I am in a minor panic because I am not ready for this shit guys.

I kinda wish I had kids earlier. I'm 34 and having my first, which means I'm going to be like 52 when she graduates high school. That kinda makes me sad.

 

[Melchettsmoustache]

We have a 5 year old and a 1 year old. The 1 year old is milk intolerant however she does seem to be improving with it and it looks like it won't be a serious issue going forward..... She's clearly bonkers though lol

We are having a few concerns with our 5 year old. She really seems to lack social skills, there's a few wee girls who are on the street but don't go to her school. She plays really well with them, they're similar ages, slightly older and younger but close enough. Sometimes though.... If those girls aren't there and it's one of the other girls in the street, More often than not we have to force her to go outside and if that's the case she simply plays alongside the girls barely interested in what they're doing.

School seems to be the bigger issue.

She's one of, if not the youngest in her year and seems quite immature compared to others in her class. I've walked past the school a few times when she's out for lunch and I've noticed her sitting on her own or playing on her own a few times and so has my wife when she's done the same. We've spoken to the school who say she's fine although does crave the attention of adults and we've asked them to keep an eye on her and were more than happy to have a meeting or chat if they see an issue. We have asked that some of the playground monitors give her a prod toward the other girls to play with(there's only 6 girls in a class of 20) but last night she admitted she had been sitting crying on her own because she missed her mum at lunchtime.

When were in the car she asks us "what's 2 add 2" for instance which we turn it around and she answers fine and we give her wee maths and spelling quiz which she does fine at and she loves reading time with Roald Dahl books. She loves to draw and is pretty good at splatoon these days. We have cut her back on playing computer games as she was getting addicted. However when she goes to school she does terribly at the maths quiz and ok at reading. She can be very emotional for little things although I feel that's getting better over the last few months.

We have her enrolled in a few after school classes, an acting class, swimming and a games class. She goes along, she interacts with the kids there and leaves, not really interested in keeping any friendship going out with that class time.

My wife and I really are at a loss as to what we can do to help her see it's good to have friends and whilst she may be ok with it now I can see her being upset in the future when she's doesn't really have anyone to play with. She came into the house crying last year that no-one liked her in the street and it broke our hearts and as parents it really shook us.

Anyone had any issue similar and have any pointers?

 

[Steeped in a Sea of Games]

I don't have much to add, as I haven't been there, but I wanted to wish you luck with that situation. It sounds pretty rough, and one I'm actually sort of afraid of happening with my kids seeing as how we don't have any friends with kids and don't have any family near.

We take them out to group activities with other kids a few times a week hoping that it'll help, but since most of their home time is just with us, I don't know how things will work out.

Edit: This just occurred to me. Do you have a pet? Something she picks out and thinks is hers like a dog or even a gerbil or something can really help a kid (or anyone really) feel more confident and less alone. I know it's a lot of work and a little risky if she takes no interest in it, but it might be worth a try if you can't figure out anything else.

 

[Flavius]

We have a 5 year old and a 1 year old. The 1 year old is milk intolerant however she does seem to be improving with it and it looks like it won't be a serious issue going forward..... She's clearly bonkers though lol

We are having a few concerns with our 5 year old. She really seems to lack social skills, there's a few wee girls who are on the street but don't go to her school. She plays really well with them, they're similar ages, slightly older and younger but close enough. Sometimes though.... If those girls aren't there and it's one of the other girls in the street, More often than not we have to force her to go outside and if that's the case she simply plays alongside the girls barely interested in what they're doing.

School seems to be the bigger issue.

She's one of, if not the youngest in her year and seems quite immature compared to others in her class. I've walked past the school a few times when she's out for lunch and I've noticed her sitting on her own or playing on her own a few times and so has my wife when she's done the same. We've spoken to the school who say she's fine although does crave the attention of adults and we've asked them to keep an eye on her and were more than happy to have a meeting or chat if they see an issue. We have asked that some of the playground monitors give her a prod toward the other girls to play with(there's only 6 girls in a class of 20) but last night she admitted she had been sitting crying on her own because she missed her mum at lunchtime.

When were in the car she asks us "what's 2 add 2" for instance which we turn it around and she answers fine and we give her wee maths and spelling quiz which she does fine at and she loves reading time with Roald Dahl books. She loves to draw and is pretty good at splatoon these days. We have cut her back on playing computer games as she was getting addicted. However when she goes to school she does terribly at the maths quiz and ok at reading. She can be very emotional for little things although I feel that's getting better over the last few months.

We have her enrolled in a few after school classes, an acting class, swimming and a games class. She goes along, she interacts with the kids there and leaves, not really interested in keeping any friendship going out with that class time.

My wife and I really are at a loss as to what we can do to help her see it's good to have friends and whilst she may be ok with it now I can see her being upset in the future when she's doesn't really have anyone to play with. She came into the house crying last year that no-one liked her in the street and it broke our hearts and as parents it really shook us.

Anyone had any issue similar and have any pointers?

I was terribly shy as a child, but fortunately for my two girls (7 and 11), they both take after their mom and are little social butterflies. That said, your oldest sounds a lot like one of one of our oldest daughter's friends. We've known her her entire life, but she's definitely always been quiet around other girls and can't be away from her mom for too long.

I think having her participate in extracurricular activities as you are is a wonderful idea. Our daughter's friend's mother enrolled her in ballet and gymnastics, and there has definitely been an improvement. Over the past year, she has really made strides, participating in a local theater production. Are sleepovers a common thing on your side of the pond? Having a birthday sleepover or just a small group of girls and mom doing things together for an extended period of time might be a good way to make her feel more at ease engaging with others...at home spa day (hair/nails/dress-up), movies and dinner, etc.

 

[Melchettsmoustache]

We've got a cat.... Who's 16! And an aquarium full of fish. We used to have Guinea pigs but they've since expired. It's interesting you mention that as she has been talking about them this last month or so. She misses them apparently. We haven't replaced them as we don't really have family near us and we're off on holiday a coup,e of times a year and feel awkward having someone come in to feed them.

We're moving house later this year closer to family and to an area where I grew up and plan to get a dog.

 

[RoryDropkick]

I kinda wish I had kids earlier. I'm 34 and having my first, which means I'm going to be like 52 when she graduates high school. That kinda makes me sad.

I'm with you there. I'm 36 and we just had our twin boys, my wife is 34.

In other news, they want to do genetic testing on Andrew, due to the club feet and because he is favoring his right side when he turns his head. Im hoping it is nothing.

 

[Melchettsmoustache]

Thanks for the suggestion Flavius, we are going to try and get her friends over for a sleep over. She stays over with her cousins (boys) sometimes and likes a stay over with my mum. It's her birthday tomorrow and she's invited a number of kids from her class and they have accepted so we will see how she gets on with that on Saturday. It's a build-a-bear party so whilst I'd hope a few of them are going because it's her I can't help but think a few are just wanting a free bear lol!

 

[Flavius]

Thanks for the suggestion Flavius, we are going to try and get her friends over for a sleep over. She stays over with her cousins (boys) sometimes and likes a stay over with my mum. It's her birthday tomorrow and she's invited a number of kids from her class and they have accepted so we will see how she gets on with that on Saturday. It's a build-a-bear party so whilst I'd hope a few of them are going because it's her I can't help but think a few are just wanting a free bear lol!

Ha! I can't quite figure those types of parties out myself! I honestly believe the draw just comes down to...BOTH!!! Kids are thinking...I get to hang with my friend, and I get to make this cool bear and dress him/her up as well?! Awesome! Bottom line -- kids love it, and I'm sure all will have a great time.

Hope your little one has a fantastic birthday tomorrow!!!

 

[H.Protagonist]

So...anyone have any experience with water births (hospital water births, not the home kind)? I'm considering one because I might do something I regret like forgo the epidural for non-big-scary needle pain options, and a water birth has been suggested as helping a bit.

On a side tangent, where has all my energy gone? As soon as I hit 8 months the xenomorph went into overdrive and is stealing my very soul. ;_;

 

[Steeped in a Sea of Games]

So...anyone have any experience with water births (hospital water births, not the home kind)? I'm considering one because I might do something I regret like forgo the epidural for non-big-scary needle pain options, and a water birth has been suggested as helping a bit.

On a side tangent, where has all my energy gone? As soon as I hit 8 months the xenomorph went into overdrive and is stealing my very soul. ;_;

It's way late to respond to this, but we wanted to try a water birth with both of our kids but my wife went from labor to birth way too fast. We were sort of disappointed (only a little bit) because they had the water all ready to go and I've heard only good things from it, but my kids just wanted out too fast for it to work.

I've talked to other people who have done it and they thought it was a huge relief. I recommend giving it a try, but there's a lot of things that can stop you from being able to do it. Especially if you want to forgo pain medication like my wife did, it's a really good option.

 

[Milksheikhs]

Wow being a parent really is such a unique and wonderful experience. I used to work in a baby room at a daycare so I'm used to lots of kids and stress. But this is like a different kind of tired but also one that's tolerable because you just love your kid so much. And I really just want to say all those cliches and sayings that "you're going to think you have the most beautiful child no matter what"..are so true.

Also Fiction, sleeping when the baby sleeps is the truest advice (also the hardest to follow )

 

[H.Protagonist]

It's way late to respond to this, but we wanted to try a water birth with both of our kids but my wife went from labor to birth way too fast. We were sort of disappointed (only a little bit) because they had the water all ready to go and I've heard only good things from it, but my kids just wanted out too fast for it to work.

I've talked to other people who have done it and they thought it was a huge relief. I recommend giving it a try, but there's a lot of things that can stop you from being able to do it. Especially if you want to forgo pain medication like my wife did, it's a really good option.

Oh! I didn't know this had even been updated. It's not too late at all to respond. I'm not due till end of Feb, so loads of time still (ha...ha...) (;_. Cheers for the insight!

Really glad to hear other people have considered this an option and that you've also heard good things about it. So far I've had no complications or concerns that would preclude me from being able to try a water birth. So far so good, I guess. We have a hospital tour coming up where I'll get to check out the rooms/facilities and see if I like the layout. I'm still a bit nervous to even attempt the no drugs route, but I think it's worth a shot.

Spoiler

A somewhat scary shot.

Anyone else have any experience or thoughts?

 

[Red]

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[NewFresh]

Oh! I didn't know this had even been updated. It's not too late at all to respond. I'm not due till end of Feb, so loads of time still (ha...ha...) (;_. Cheers for the insight!

Really glad to hear other people have considered this an option and that you've also heard good things about it. So far I've had no complications or concerns that would preclude me from being able to try a water birth. So far so good, I guess. We have a hospital tour coming up where I'll get to check out the rooms/facilities and see if I like the layout. I'm still a bit nervous to even attempt the no drugs route, but I think it's worth a shot.

Spoiler

A somewhat scary shot.

Anyone else have any experience or thoughts?

I would recommend reading through this https://www.sciencebasedmedicine.org/water-birth-again/

 

[Icefire1424]

Follow up to something I brought up in here earlier - and I suspect something many new parents are dealing with / have dealt with. To those that have dealt with it, I'm curious how you handled it.

A while back I mentioned that the relationship between the wife and I has been strained since kiddo arrived nearly 2 years ago. Not surprising given the lack of sleep, change of routine and all that. After several conversations with the wife during that time, we've discovered that her libido is essentially gone, and never really came back since childbirth. I know this is pretty common, and I've done my best to give her space without getting physical, but I will admit it's really hard not feeling "desired" anymore. We've talked several times and she reassures me that she still loves me and finds me attractive and all that, but just isn't interested in sex anymore. Although I realize having a physical relationship isn't the most important part of a relationship, I do still think it's an important part of maintaining a long term relationship, and something I want us to work at. It's just tough when it feels like I'm the only one putting forth the effort, and I don't want to "overstep" my bounds - at times it's pretty obvious she gets annoyed whenever I even hint at trying to initiate something. Crazy as it sounds, there are times I almost wish I wasn't attracted to her so it wouldn't hurt this much.

As it stands, she has a routine visit with her OB/GYN coming up and said she'll bring it up to discuss. I know this doesn't bother her as much as it does me, but it's still somewhat surprising how someone who was always so affectionate and physical could change so much. I do feel bad bringing it up with her as I know it puts her on the defensive, and as mentioned, it's just not something she thinks about anymore. Tough situation, and admittedly, not sure how I can proceed.

Anyone else experience something like this? I'm a bit at a loss, especially since it's something that seemingly has more of an impact to me than her.

 

[Halcyon]

Follow up to something I brought up in here earlier - and I suspect something many new parents are dealing with / have dealt with. To those that have dealt with it, I'm curious how you handled it.

A while back I mentioned that the relationship between the wife and I has been strained since kiddo arrived nearly 2 years ago. Not surprising given the lack of sleep, change of routine and all that. After several conversations with the wife during that time, we've discovered that her libido is essentially gone, and never really came back since childbirth. I know this is pretty common, and I've done my best to give her space without getting physical, but I will admit it's really hard not feeling "desired" anymore. We've talked several times and she reassures me that she still loves me and finds me attractive and all that, but just isn't interested in sex anymore. Although I realize having a physical relationship isn't the most important part of a relationship, I do still think it's an important part of maintaining a long term relationship, and something I want us to work at. It's just tough when it feels like I'm the only one putting forth the effort, and I don't want to "overstep" my bounds - at times it's pretty obvious she gets annoyed whenever I even hint at trying to initiate something. Crazy as it sounds, there are times I almost wish I wasn't attracted to her so it wouldn't hurt this much.

As it stands, she has a routine visit with her OB/GYN coming up and said she'll bring it up to discuss. I know this doesn't bother her as much as it does me, but it's still somewhat surprising how someone who was always so affectionate and physical could change so much. I do feel bad bringing it up with her as I know it puts her on the defensive, and as mentioned, it's just not something she thinks about anymore. Tough situation, and admittedly, not sure how I can proceed.

Anyone else experience something like this? I'm a bit at a loss, especially since it's something that seemingly has more of an impact to me than her.

My wife is currently pregnant and has straight up said she has no libido, but it's because she feels disgusting in her body. She is a pilates instructor and it's really hard for her to go from looking basically like a bikini model to having a big stomach, and gaining weight.

On top of that sex has become painful for her, and when we do have sex she basically gets no pleasure out of it, but says she likes to feel connected. We have sex about once a week if lucky, when we were having sex sometimes 3 times a day before that. It's been difficult for me.

I'm slightly worried that I will be in the same situation after the pregnancy and she just continues to have a low libido.

 

[Argyle]

Oh! I didn't know this had even been updated. It's not too late at all to respond. I'm not due till end of Feb, so loads of time still (ha...ha...) (;_. Cheers for the insight!

Really glad to hear other people have considered this an option and that you've also heard good things about it. So far I've had no complications or concerns that would preclude me from being able to try a water birth. So far so good, I guess. We have a hospital tour coming up where I'll get to check out the rooms/facilities and see if I like the layout. I'm still a bit nervous to even attempt the no drugs route, but I think it's worth a shot.

Spoiler

A somewhat scary shot.

Anyone else have any experience or thoughts?

My wife chose to get the epidural and she says she wouldn't change anything if she had to do it again.

 

[Icefire1424]

Chiming in on the other ongoing discussion. My wife also went the route of the epidural, and was very, very glad for the decision. However, our daughter was also facing backwards during labor and delivery, which meant the wife was experiencing significant back labor. In her case it made a major difference, as the pain was causing an elevated heart rate for both her and our daughter. It might be a rather scary shot, but in our case it was a very needed shot.

The advice I was given regarding medication was to go in with a plan, but be prepared to be adjust that plan to the situation.

 

[Random Painted HIghway]

Follow up to something I brought up in here earlier - and I suspect something many new parents are dealing with / have dealt with. To those that have dealt with it, I'm curious how you handled it.

A while back I mentioned that the relationship between the wife and I has been strained since kiddo arrived nearly 2 years ago. Not surprising given the lack of sleep, change of routine and all that. After several conversations with the wife during that time, we've discovered that her libido is essentially gone, and never really came back since childbirth. I know this is pretty common, and I've done my best to give her space without getting physical, but I will admit it's really hard not feeling "desired" anymore. We've talked several times and she reassures me that she still loves me and finds me attractive and all that, but just isn't interested in sex anymore. Although I realize having a physical relationship isn't the most important part of a relationship, I do still think it's an important part of maintaining a long term relationship, and something I want us to work at. It's just tough when it feels like I'm the only one putting forth the effort, and I don't want to "overstep" my bounds - at times it's pretty obvious she gets annoyed whenever I even hint at trying to initiate something. Crazy as it sounds, there are times I almost wish I wasn't attracted to her so it wouldn't hurt this much.

As it stands, she has a routine visit with her OB/GYN coming up and said she'll bring it up to discuss. I know this doesn't bother her as much as it does me, but it's still somewhat surprising how someone who was always so affectionate and physical could change so much. I do feel bad bringing it up with her as I know it puts her on the defensive, and as mentioned, it's just not something she thinks about anymore. Tough situation, and admittedly, not sure how I can proceed.

Anyone else experience something like this? I'm a bit at a loss, especially since it's something that seemingly has more of an impact to me than her.

I am currently going through this with my wife. Seven month old kiddo. Wasn't an issue between kid 1, nearly 5, and this one, but things have definitely changed. I don't have any answers or suggestions unfortunately, i just wanted to let you know you're not alone on this. I too feel that it would be much easier if I myself lost attraction to her (doubly unfortunate that she is as sexy if not more so than ever) or frankly lost my sex drive altogether, because these negative feelings of neglect have a way of reinforcing and amplifying themselves. Lack of affection leads to me being moody and not overtly hurtful, but not like I used to be, leads to more hurt feelings and so on and so forth. Vicious cycle that seems to kill a number of marriages at this point. I used to be so critical of those folks, but now I do have a better understanding of the stresses. You should feel fortunate that your wife acknowledges that some of the issues lie at her feet and she is willing to talk to her obgyn, we are not there yet.

This is an issue that seems very taboo to talk about publicly, leaving some males in this position to feel like an asshole by even bringing it up. good luck.

 

[Soulfire]

.

 

[Icefire1424]

Thanks to everyone who commented - definitely a tough subject to discuss. Really appreciate the input from Soulfire in particular, gave me a few more things to consider, and helped to understand a woman's perspective on the matter.

 

[PanicFreak]

My wife chose to get the epidural and she says she wouldn't change anything if she had to do it again.

Mine too. When she went into labor, I was actually scared for her because I've never seen anyone in so much pain. She got the epidural and it was like night and day. She was able to talk to people around her and crack jokes, even during five minute contractions.

I would just suggest that anyone considering going through birth without an epidural keep an open mind if the pain is more intense than you imagined it would be.

 

[Icefire1424]

She was able to talk to people around her and crack jokes, even during five minute contractions.

I would just suggest that anyone considering going through birth without an epidural keep an open mind if the pain is more intense than you imagined it would be.

Oh yea, my wife actually managed to fall asleep. Made that much of a difference.

 

[Soulfire]

.