So, uh, I'm curious. What part of the Bible explains our nation's debt problem?
Luke 25, 1: And after they blessed and prayed unto God, a glorious light shone upon them. Seeing this, Peter turned to Simon and Thaddeus and spoke: "Is this not the holy ghost, coming to see us to our mission? Is not Jesus, son of God, gracing us with the knowledge to help us go forth and preach the good news of the Kingdom?"
Luke 25, 2: Suddenly the room shook, splintering the floor and shattering many objects of great importance.
Luke 25, 3: And behold! A voice pierced the air, and to them it seemed to be inside them.
Luke 25, 4: "Is not Israel's debt burdened by the Romans? Are not the people suffering at the hand of these pagans, who sends tax collectors to abuse his chosen people?"
Luke 25, 5: "So sayeth I: Whomsoever shall drape themselves in the respective flags of their chosen country and demand of their rulers 'Shall I not be free to rule my own hand? Shall I not allow myself to feed my children and slaves, even children who are also slaves?'
Luke 25, 6: "Whoa unto thee who leaves such debt responsibility to their children and grandchildren and great grandchildren!"
Luke 25, 7: "And whomsoever shall take control and demand austerity will have his children and grandchildren and great grandchildren blessed, and certainly make it into the Kingdom of Heaven!"
Luke 25, 8: Suddenly Thaddeus, the disciple nobody remembers or fucking cares about, looked down at his feet sullenly. "But lord, is it not okay that I, like, voteth for those who understand that national debt is not the true source of our burdens? Is not a man entitled to his opinion?"
Luke 25, 9: And Jesus said to him: "I shall cast thee into the hellfire, where Satan the deceiver will continue to raise the debt throughout eternity... and in the endless hours of your torment, no one will heareth you scream."