I was so surprised. Could this be the beginning of her return?
Yeah, judging by the season preview, this was bound to happen.
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Teen Wolf (Season 5) |OT| Watch your (six) pack.
- Thread starter Hours Left
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I was so surprised. Could this be the beginning of her return?
Yeah, judging by the season preview, this was bound to happen.
Blood Diamonds
Banned
does anyone remember tracy and josh
Monocle
Member
Existing in this cold and indifferent universe is a tough gig sometimes, even when you're a hunk. As friends of hunks, fans of hunks, stalkers of hunks, esteemed hunkologists, Buzzfeed columnists, and hunks themselves will tell you, being an athletic guy who attracts the admiration and envy of everyone he meets has a price, and that price often manifests as moments of great ambivalence in his otherwise charmed life. The most common agents of this hunk-centric misfortune? Villainous CG beasts.
I know what you're thinking: "Why would a hunk have mixed feelings about a vicious computer generated creature that wants to give the business to his jacked glutes, and probably every other part of his extremely conditioned, practically Olympian body? Sounds like a bummer on legs to me, man. Just a very unchill situation all around." Great question, bud. The answer is that, as often as CG beasts put hunks in mortal peril with their razor sharp claws and daggerlike teeth, those same implements of violent dismemberment have the equally common (albeit unintended) effect of shredding a hunk's clothing enough to reveal his heaving muscles—usually gleaming with a light sheen of perspiration, sometimes artfully streaked with just the right amount of blood to look cool without grossing anybody out, possibly caked in some sort of sexy grime—without violating his show's TV channel's standards & practices regarding male nudity.
So you see, when you're a hunk, CG beasts are very much a double edged sword. On the one hand, a CG beast could kill you dead and leave your beautiful body in not so beautiful condition. Like, definitely worse than "Acceptable" by Amazon.com's very lax used book standards. A closed casket kind of deal for sure. But on the other hand, one likely result of encountering a CG beast is that it will tear up your clothing in a frenzied attempt to mangle your flesh and bones, leading to great rejoicing as you embrace your natural calling and display your functional physique in action, clenching and torquing and going through all manner of exertion to bring out that sick definition and highlight your dope gains.
Damn, check out this flashback. Judging by the quaint hats, this was way far back, like in the Dark Ages. (By Dark Ages I refer of course to any time before the time it was possible for me to sit in a Starbucks bathroom and view an exotic variety of hunks on the magical box in my pocket.)
Is it just me or did that guy's French accent totally drop when he got to the phrase "suffered injuries"? That's OK, loss of accent can affect all men over 30. It's nothing to be ashamed of.
Wow, this is some flashback! Could this be the start of a new direction for the show? The seed of a spinoff? Teen Wolves Through the Ages. I would watch that show.
Every time a tear-streaked dame has warned me of a demonic shapeshifter while I was cowering in her shack in the French countryside in the middle of a rainstorm on an ominous night bathed in the pallid glow of the full moon, I brushed off her alarm as mere superstitious paranoia. I never had time for those fanciful old wives' tales in my youth. But now, as I watch this remarkably authentic documentary portion of tonight's Teen Wolf episode, I am recalling that distant decade when it was my habit to roam the wilds in period accoutrement, and I am thinking I should have been more open-minded toward the urgent counsel of the ten or twelve women who kindly offered me refuge in their ramshackle cottages for little more than a fistful of nickels or a half-eaten bag of pretzel M&Ms.
Yes Crystal Reed! Your days of dumpster diving for unrinsed soup cans and more or less palatable bread crusts are at an end. Earn that paper, girl! Unburn that bridge, honey! I am here for your Katniss realness.
Say, maybe Colton Haynes can return as the ancestor of Jackson. (Come back, Jackson.) He could play Jack the Ripper, so named not for his murderous exploits, but the killer separation in his truly bodacious six pack.
Whenever old people say "there is another," right when a hero is departing, against the backdrop of a desperate struggle to stop an imminent threat, watch out. Someone's relationship is about to get icky.
I for one cannot contain my shock that Liam's foolhardy leap toward a hulking CG beast ended badly for him. Truly this show is rife with twists and surprises.
Stiles has the right idea. "Kissing it better" works not just for injured infants, but also for hunks with major ouchies! He should wait until Liam can vote though.
That Marie Jeanne, always showing off with her crossbow by pinning up posters within inches of people's faces. What a scamp!
I don't mean to be a Naggy Maggie, but Marie Jeanne's apple peeling technique could use some work. You aren't supposed to lop off enormous chunks of the fruit along with the peel. Just FYI. I only mention this because some of us peasants have to work a whole week for half a chance to snatch an acorn, OK? Food doesn't grow on trees, princess. You'd think someone who bears an uncanny resemblance to Crystal Reed would be more careful about conserving her fruit in times of austerity.
Nine times out of ten, when someone sets a mauled-to-death child on your table, it's a sign of trouble. There is no good time for this type of tragedy, but if you'll forgive me for saying so, there are times slightly less not-good than bingo night.
While I cannot claim to be an expert in phony French accents, I must say that Crystal Reed's phony French accent is definitely somewhere in my list of top 200 greatest phony French accents.
What does it say about me that I unthinkingly perked up when I saw that first torch in those woods, somehow expecting it to be a shirtless Parrish with his body enveloped in flame? I mean seriously, this is a thing that just happened.
Marie Jeanne's remarkable ability to reload her crossbow when the camera cuts away for an instant must be the reason she's such a famed huntress in her community.
WereWILF? Let's, um... let's move on.
Gerard has a point, sometimes the internet is a liar. Yahoo Answers might be a fount of wisdom for topics such as car maintenance and teen pregnancy, but it will not tell you all that you need to know to successfully battle a supernatural CG beast.
I don't trust this guy Marcel. Not because circumstantial evidence seems to indicate that he's not on the up-and-up. Not even because he has a pointy mustache. No, it's more that he's not really a hunk like Theo. Speaking of Theo, where's Theo?
Wow, go Braeden! That was easily the second most heroic time I've witnessed someone repeatedly fire a shotgun in a library. I can't disclose what the first one is, for legal reasons, but I think it's OK to reveal that it involved an impressionable young reader with some very bad friends. Suffice it to say, those hoodlums will think twice about telling their next so-called buddy, "You have got to read Twilight."
Hmm, so the beast is Mason? That would make sense considering the big deal everyone's been making about the beast's teenage identity being lost if it remembers who it used to be. But then, this could be a fakeout. But maybe not. The most important question is, how does Deputy Strauss and the hunky body he's failing to conceal beneath his uniform fit into all this? That uniform didn't work on Parrish, and it sure isn't working on the new guy.
Good episode! Definitely one of my favorite episodes of the season. In fact, I'd rate it 9 phony French accents out of 10.
I know what you're thinking: "Why would a hunk have mixed feelings about a vicious computer generated creature that wants to give the business to his jacked glutes, and probably every other part of his extremely conditioned, practically Olympian body? Sounds like a bummer on legs to me, man. Just a very unchill situation all around." Great question, bud. The answer is that, as often as CG beasts put hunks in mortal peril with their razor sharp claws and daggerlike teeth, those same implements of violent dismemberment have the equally common (albeit unintended) effect of shredding a hunk's clothing enough to reveal his heaving muscles—usually gleaming with a light sheen of perspiration, sometimes artfully streaked with just the right amount of blood to look cool without grossing anybody out, possibly caked in some sort of sexy grime—without violating his show's TV channel's standards & practices regarding male nudity.
So you see, when you're a hunk, CG beasts are very much a double edged sword. On the one hand, a CG beast could kill you dead and leave your beautiful body in not so beautiful condition. Like, definitely worse than "Acceptable" by Amazon.com's very lax used book standards. A closed casket kind of deal for sure. But on the other hand, one likely result of encountering a CG beast is that it will tear up your clothing in a frenzied attempt to mangle your flesh and bones, leading to great rejoicing as you embrace your natural calling and display your functional physique in action, clenching and torquing and going through all manner of exertion to bring out that sick definition and highlight your dope gains.
Damn, check out this flashback. Judging by the quaint hats, this was way far back, like in the Dark Ages. (By Dark Ages I refer of course to any time before the time it was possible for me to sit in a Starbucks bathroom and view an exotic variety of hunks on the magical box in my pocket.)
Is it just me or did that guy's French accent totally drop when he got to the phrase "suffered injuries"? That's OK, loss of accent can affect all men over 30. It's nothing to be ashamed of.
Wow, this is some flashback! Could this be the start of a new direction for the show? The seed of a spinoff? Teen Wolves Through the Ages. I would watch that show.
Every time a tear-streaked dame has warned me of a demonic shapeshifter while I was cowering in her shack in the French countryside in the middle of a rainstorm on an ominous night bathed in the pallid glow of the full moon, I brushed off her alarm as mere superstitious paranoia. I never had time for those fanciful old wives' tales in my youth. But now, as I watch this remarkably authentic documentary portion of tonight's Teen Wolf episode, I am recalling that distant decade when it was my habit to roam the wilds in period accoutrement, and I am thinking I should have been more open-minded toward the urgent counsel of the ten or twelve women who kindly offered me refuge in their ramshackle cottages for little more than a fistful of nickels or a half-eaten bag of pretzel M&Ms.
Yes Crystal Reed! Your days of dumpster diving for unrinsed soup cans and more or less palatable bread crusts are at an end. Earn that paper, girl! Unburn that bridge, honey! I am here for your Katniss realness.
Say, maybe Colton Haynes can return as the ancestor of Jackson. (Come back, Jackson.) He could play Jack the Ripper, so named not for his murderous exploits, but the killer separation in his truly bodacious six pack.
Whenever old people say "there is another," right when a hero is departing, against the backdrop of a desperate struggle to stop an imminent threat, watch out. Someone's relationship is about to get icky.
I for one cannot contain my shock that Liam's foolhardy leap toward a hulking CG beast ended badly for him. Truly this show is rife with twists and surprises.
Stiles has the right idea. "Kissing it better" works not just for injured infants, but also for hunks with major ouchies! He should wait until Liam can vote though.
That Marie Jeanne, always showing off with her crossbow by pinning up posters within inches of people's faces. What a scamp!
I don't mean to be a Naggy Maggie, but Marie Jeanne's apple peeling technique could use some work. You aren't supposed to lop off enormous chunks of the fruit along with the peel. Just FYI. I only mention this because some of us peasants have to work a whole week for half a chance to snatch an acorn, OK? Food doesn't grow on trees, princess. You'd think someone who bears an uncanny resemblance to Crystal Reed would be more careful about conserving her fruit in times of austerity.
Nine times out of ten, when someone sets a mauled-to-death child on your table, it's a sign of trouble. There is no good time for this type of tragedy, but if you'll forgive me for saying so, there are times slightly less not-good than bingo night.
While I cannot claim to be an expert in phony French accents, I must say that Crystal Reed's phony French accent is definitely somewhere in my list of top 200 greatest phony French accents.
What does it say about me that I unthinkingly perked up when I saw that first torch in those woods, somehow expecting it to be a shirtless Parrish with his body enveloped in flame? I mean seriously, this is a thing that just happened.
Marie Jeanne's remarkable ability to reload her crossbow when the camera cuts away for an instant must be the reason she's such a famed huntress in her community.
WereWILF? Let's, um... let's move on.
Gerard has a point, sometimes the internet is a liar. Yahoo Answers might be a fount of wisdom for topics such as car maintenance and teen pregnancy, but it will not tell you all that you need to know to successfully battle a supernatural CG beast.
I don't trust this guy Marcel. Not because circumstantial evidence seems to indicate that he's not on the up-and-up. Not even because he has a pointy mustache. No, it's more that he's not really a hunk like Theo. Speaking of Theo, where's Theo?
Wow, go Braeden! That was easily the second most heroic time I've witnessed someone repeatedly fire a shotgun in a library. I can't disclose what the first one is, for legal reasons, but I think it's OK to reveal that it involved an impressionable young reader with some very bad friends. Suffice it to say, those hoodlums will think twice about telling their next so-called buddy, "You have got to read Twilight."
Hmm, so the beast is Mason? That would make sense considering the big deal everyone's been making about the beast's teenage identity being lost if it remembers who it used to be. But then, this could be a fakeout. But maybe not. The most important question is, how does Deputy Strauss and the hunky body he's failing to conceal beneath his uniform fit into all this? That uniform didn't work on Parrish, and it sure isn't working on the new guy.
Good episode! Definitely one of my favorite episodes of the season. In fact, I'd rate it 9 phony French accents out of 10.
BewareTheBatsie
Member
I like Crystal Reed as an actress but what the fuck was that accent? Also I find it very awkward that she's back in a guest role because did she do anything since leaving Teen Wolf? Just seems like she had no other option than to return for a brief time since she didn't seem to have any other roles.
I'm getting real sick of the lack of Kira, especially when she is one of the most interesting characters at the moment. Maybe she's going to play a more major role in season 6, I hope, because the Kitsune arc is something I want to see more over like a billion other arcs going on here at the moment.
I did love the Spider-Man 2 moment with Scott exposing himself to his classmates. Although I hope the writers aren't trying to build up to a Buffy season 3 finale type thing. Plus Malia demanding about Stiles was A+.
So is Parrish gone now from the show or did he just resign from his job? Because if the former, good riddance. I know he's a favorite around here but he's insanely irrelevant. Probably realized that being y'know law enforcement and having daydreams about being intimate with a high school student was very wrong.
I'm getting real sick of the lack of Kira, especially when she is one of the most interesting characters at the moment. Maybe she's going to play a more major role in season 6, I hope, because the Kitsune arc is something I want to see more over like a billion other arcs going on here at the moment.
I did love the Spider-Man 2 moment with Scott exposing himself to his classmates. Although I hope the writers aren't trying to build up to a Buffy season 3 finale type thing. Plus Malia demanding about Stiles was A+.
So is Parrish gone now from the show or did he just resign from his job? Because if the former, good riddance. I know he's a favorite around here but he's insanely irrelevant. Probably realized that being y'know law enforcement and having daydreams about being intimate with a high school student was very wrong.
French people barely acknowledge English as a language that can be spoken today, let alone several centuries ago. The whole idea of the whole of France speaking perfectly fluent English with a bit of an accent is just ridiculous. Especially after you drag out a dead kid, say he whispered his final words to you, continue to say the words IN FRENCH and then translating in Eglish just to make sure all the English speaking Frenchies know what it is.
Especially when the main actress can't do the actual accent required, at all.
Either just do it all in US English, or do it in French and use subtitles... Come on 'Murica!
Especially when the main actress can't do the actual accent required, at all.
Either just do it all in US English, or do it in French and use subtitles... Come on 'Murica!
Blood Diamonds
Banned
it would have been a pain in the ass to read subtitles for the whole episode, no thanks.
I think we're jumping to conclusions with Parrish a bit, I'm thinking he's actually supposed to be doing what he's doing right now (leaving) for the prophecy to come true. They didn't spend all those episodes keeping the focus on him and that painting just for that lame anti climatic "i have to leave"
he's probably going to die tho lbr
I think we're jumping to conclusions with Parrish a bit, I'm thinking he's actually supposed to be doing what he's doing right now (leaving) for the prophecy to come true. They didn't spend all those episodes keeping the focus on him and that painting just for that lame anti climatic "i have to leave"
he's probably going to die tho lbr
BewareTheBatsie
Member
They did say there was a major character death this season. Everyone probably thinks Mason 'cause of the twist but I think they'll find some way to save him.
Blood Diamonds
Banned
wait.... they did??? omg... pray4mason everyone pls he's the best teen wolf: the next generation character
Plasticine
Member
I just want to say, it's been a bad couple of weeks for me. I've been lost, confused, aimless. I find staying bed for hours after waking. I've taken to dressing like a Skinwalker, only with trash bags instead of fashionable animal skins. I don't shower. I don't eat. I look worse than Liam's stomach after his one round with that nasty CGI zombie serial killer werewolf. I just don't know what to do with myself. Without Theo, I don't know who I can trust.
Crystal Reed finallycame crawling back made her triumphant return. Plus she did it with a hilarious French accent. Jeff Davis is such a magnificently evil man. I almost forgot my own misery and the stench of my own filth whenever she talked. Simply amazing. I hope this becomes a thing. Allison Argent through different time periods, with Crystal Reed using horrible accents for each incarnation. I need to hear her Italian accent for my life to be complete again.
That said, I totally understand where French Allison came from. I could totally relate to her. Not only do I sound equally ridiculous whenever I try a French accent, but I understood her destroying any trace of her brother. I know the last time a hideous beast came into my life, I destroyed every trace of his existence after he was gone too. I burned it all and never looked back.
Crystal Reed finally
That said, I totally understand where French Allison came from. I could totally relate to her. Not only do I sound equally ridiculous whenever I try a French accent, but I understood her destroying any trace of her brother. I know the last time a hideous beast came into my life, I destroyed every trace of his existence after he was gone too. I burned it all and never looked back.
rocketskates
Member
That accent was so bad. Wtf.
Napoleonthechimp
Member
Holy shit her accent was bad. I think at one point it swung all the way to Jamaican.
Blood Diamonds
Banned
I feel like the 10 episode format of this season seriously hurt it. There's about 2 episodes left and the pacing has been really fucking weird ever since 5a started. 5b is too ambitious for just 10 episodes imo
edit: apparently season 6 already filming... the last time they started filming super early after the end of a season we got season 4
RIP.
edit: apparently season 6 already filming... the last time they started filming super early after the end of a season we got season 4
RIP.
KibblesBits
Member
Death isn't always the end in Teen Wolf.
BewareTheBatsie
Member
So apparently Derek's actor got cast in the new Fifty Shades of Grey movie. I mean, happy he got a big movie role but on the other hand of all the goddamn movies.
Blood Diamonds
Banned
Apparently Crystal Reed wants to come back? I hope she doesn't come back honestly. Allison's death was a major event for Teen Wolf and it would be super shitty to undo all of that.
BewareTheBatsie
Member
You see her getting any other roles after she left Teen Wolf? Not like she has any other choice if she wants an acting career. But yeah, it would be cheap if they reverted Allison's death.
Please someone link to the video where is is interviewed crying and saying she doesn't know what she's going to do after Teen Wolf in her first exit interview.
And yeah, her accent was bad.
Plasticine
Member
BewareTheBatsie
Member
Asides from the jokes of how she's crawling back to the show, I still think if they actually negate Allison's death it would suck. Her death was a genuine intense turn for the show to kill off the female lead.
To this day though I still laugh at Isaac leaving to France with the father of the girl he dated for like three weeks. I know it's because the character had to be written out, but still, it was hilarious.
To this day though I still laugh at Isaac leaving to France with the father of the girl he dated for like three weeks. I know it's because the character had to be written out, but still, it was hilarious.
BewareTheBatsie
Member
There was a rumor if the episode proved successful, there might be a spin-off. But Teen Wolf has had a million ideas for spin-offs that never took off and the shows ratings probably mean a spin-off won't be happening anytime soon.
She's totally returning as a new character. I can see it happening.
Plasticine
Member
I hope her new character has a Russian accent.
We need a Jackson spin off. His shirtless adventures across Europe. Theo could become a regular as well.
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
But Crystal Reed's career is on a stratospheric ascension! Why would she come back!?
What's Colton Haynes doing nowadays anyway?
Blood Diamonds
Banned
I remember they were talking about a Kira spin-off once
lmao
like you can't even manage to find a way to keep her in the story so you write her off every chance you get and you think she can get a spin-off?
Monocle
Member
This would be too amazing to even handle.
Jackson and Theo would get along great you know. He's totally Theo's type.
He's everyone's type.
WIkipedia says he's filming a movie called Triumph.
I'm here for fake Russian NotAllison
She will Moonlight in Teenwolf between her Oscar award winning roles
Blood Diamonds
Banned
tbh like no offense but this season sucks ass. We had a whole episode of literally nothing lmao
edit: big spoilers for the season finale:
it looks like stiles
lydia gets
something happens to
too
wtf
edit: big spoilers for the season finale:
it looks like stiles
gets impaled on glass or some shit
her throat slashed by the beast
malia
wtf
BewareTheBatsie
Member
What the fuck do the writers have against Kira? She's their most interesting character as of now potential to go in and they just keep fucking sending her away. This is 'Isaac leaves with his girlfriend of three week's father after she died' level of bad writing.
Still thinking it's Parrish that kicks the bucket.
Still thinking it's Parrish that kicks the bucket.
Monocle
Member
You know when you're a guy who's a CG beast maybe and you're chilling in a soggy subterranean tunnel system with your cute boyfriend who can turn invisible and can turn other people invisible when he touches on them and who is a technically a monster (no judgment, it's just a biological thing)? Cherish those moments you guys, because you never know when your cute boyfriend who can turn invisible and can turn other people invisible when he touches on them and who is a technically a monster might get fatally stabbed for a second time by an evil doctor with a sword cane. All I'm saying is that if there isn't a trustworthy hunk around to save him again, then pardon my language, but you're darn well out of luck. This is not a spoiler, it's just common sense.
As a seasoned veteran of schoolbus makeout sessions, believe me when I say I'm totally qualified to give Corey advice about his dating probs. What I'd tell him is: Listen boo, like many things in life, schoolbus makeouts will get easier with time and experience. Stick with it! After the first half a year, the kids won't even pay attention to you and your bf anymore. I know you probably have some reservations about the whole idea of making out on a schoolbus full of kids every day for months on end. Let me take this time to reassure you that no, you won't have to go through the same ordeal again if you manage to carry on your torrid schoolbus affair clear through winter break and into the new year. Gossip travels fast among the younger generation. The next year's bunch of kids ought to accept your beautiful schoolbus romance in a couple of weeks, tops. Happy smooching!
You know, I was pretty on point with that whole thing about evil doctors ruining your date with your cute monster bf. No sword cane stabbing occurred, thank goodness, but some sword cane bonking definitely happened. Poor Corey! Hasn't he suffered enough? (I would like to use this space to apologize to any sensitive readers who may have mistaken my use of the term "sword cane bonking" for "sword fighting," which is the thing where two totally hetero guys try to enter and exit a locker room at the same time and in all the confusion they end up grinding their engorged manhoods together for up to an hour in the billowing steam of the shower room.)
#TheresTheo is right. I missed that helpful hunk!
We're all familiar with the common saying, "Friends don't let friends try on evil-looking electromagnetic helmets." But did you know that the presence of a muscular hunk changes the moral calculus of even the most ethically questionable situations? That's a true fact! The natural conclusion here is that Tracy and Theo and Deucalion are correct to peer pressure Josh into doing this possibly fatal and definitely unpleasant thing. It just makes sense. Go ahead, Josh. You got this bro. What's the worst that can happen?
Deucalion really knows how to inspire confidence. The first Dread Doctor helmet was made "using practices at the farthest edges of pseudoscience," huh? So...not just ineffective, but radically unorthodox. Wow! That's definitely the type of headgear you should just strap onto your face with no hesitation at all. What are you waiting for, Josh? In my opinion there is no reason to be nervous.
Lydia and Sheriff Stilinski are doing the right thing. When a gorgeous and frequently shirtless hunk is trying to leave town, you are duty-bound to stop him. My entire trunk is filled with spike strips for just such an occasion.
Corey's chimera ability is so convenient. Not only does it enable him to turn invisible, it also enables him to be a stalker who hangs out in classrooms, locker rooms, school parking lots, and the homes of friends of your boyfriend. Whenever you need him, he's already there!
Silly Deucalion, Tracy know all about trust already. She hangs out with Theo, duh. You know, even for a blind guy, you miss a lot.
I have to hand it to Deucalion, he's a pretty obliging guest. Not for letting Theo stick a tube half the size of a garden hose in his arm and pump him full of unsanitary liquid of unknown origin for days on end. No, that's easily within the range of acceptable things a gorgeous hunk can do to you. I'm more impressed that, as far as we've seen, he hasn't complained about needing to use the bathroom. Good old Deuc probably didn't want to go and embarrass Theo by making him admit that his dumpy chimera lair doesn't even have a lavatory. That's no knock against Theo. Who among us can say our first lair was a ritzy joint? There's no shame in living within your means. Being a hunk and a supportive foster dad to a gang of teenage monsters is like two full time jobs. Juggling all of that plus loads of gym time to maintain that rockin' bod can't be easy. Props to Theo!
Yes Kira's dad! Representing grammar fiends everywhere! This show has the best parents. (Tbh, who even says "whom" anymore? But still, it's the thought that counts.)
I mean no offense to Deucalion when I say that his rating on RateMyProfessor is probably average at best. Students these days are very entitled. They will complain to their parents and their school's leadership about even the least inconvenient kind of compound fracture, like when you break their nondominant arm to demonstrate your point about stealing power by inflicting pain. Theo is a good student though. He's not one to whine about the way his megalomaniacal werewolf friend teaches him the proper method to torture and kill people. Honestly, I think Theo was more shocked than anything. Shocked that this important information wasn't covered in the Dread Doctors' homeschooling curriculum for hunky chimeras. This may sound harsh, but I'm beginning to suspect that they are bad doctors and even worse teachers. Poor Theo must feel just awful that they're more interested in doing crude science experiments and making slow dramatic entrances than giving him a proper education.
Wow, Theo's a quick study! Impaling your friends with your fingernails is hard to do on the first try. I really respect people who take their education seriously. If there's one takeaway from that time just a few seconds ago where Theo stabbed his friend in the guts and made him yell a lot, it's that Theo is not just trustworthy, not just helpful, but very dedicated as well. Did you see that shot of him just then, with Tracy in the background? He's looking super buff these days. Really hitting the weights. What a cool and heroic guy.
Is it wrong to do sex on top of a supernatural stump that may have had a lot of bodies of dead teenagers stacked all over it at one time? Just wondering in case I find myself in a forest with a stud like Parrish and we find a supernatural tree stump with a sketchy history. It happens more often than you'd think.
I have concerns about Theo putting on that icky Dread Doctor mask. Like, is it gonna mess up his hair? Will it obscure his field of vision when he's driving, or get in the way while he's working out?
I don't blame Theo for freaking out. The dust in that old helmet probably tickled his nose something fierce.
Oh good, his hair's just fine.
Yes Scott, lean into it! It's natural, go with the flow! Oh, uh... Sorry. With Theo moving in close to the camera like that, and being all hunky in the locker room like that, I just assumed a makeout scene was going to happen. Oh well, Theo can always find a better smooch partner later, like Parrish or Strauss, or possibly Derek I guess, or Porn Star Mechanic Guy from Season 2 (assuming the Dread Doctors can build Theo a time machine), or even Jackson maybe. Flights to London can't be that expensive. Doesn't Jackson come from a rich family anyway? He could let Theo use his frequent flier miles. I don't know if frequent flier miles work that way but they totally should.
Hmm, so Theo's making an alliance with Scott to help Mason? I trust him.
Aside from the foreshadowing that I'm interpreting as
, this is a perfectly lovely walk in the woods with a perfectly lovely hunk. Let's put these awful possibilities out of our heads for the time being.
Check out Scott, letting Liam take the lead and Theo take the rear guard. Clearly he trusts Theo with his life, as any of us would in that situation. Or any situation really.
Getting lots of classic Teen Wolf vibes right now. I love watching the pack work together.
Looooooooool, that Dread Doctor just went in on millenials! "Entitlement and narcissism." Pretty sick burn tbh. He is a tad preachy on the topic of evil though. I mean, considering all those unethical experiments and murders of teenagers and everything. BTW, anyone who's tempted to take to heart any of that hypocritical blather the crazy guy in the mask spouted at Theo should consider the source. That's critical thinking 101.
"#SexyBeast"? Teen Wolf pls.
Very into this stylish moment with Skinwalkers. Between this scene and the Braeden vs Desert Wolf fight I'm definitely feeling the girl power.
Damn, all of the Dread Doctors just got F'd up! And now there's a nearly naked flaming hot hunk on the scene! I love this show.
What an episode! So cool to see all these characters come together. Even though Gerard and Papa Argent are kind of just there, they are still more than welcome. Say what you will about the Dread Doctors: they were huge jerks, but on the other hand they saw their greatest experiment through. RIP in peace Dread Doctors, I guess. Thanks for giving us Theo, and for dying before you could kill Theo for pushing you and bonking your helmet and everything. Bring on the finale!
As a seasoned veteran of schoolbus makeout sessions, believe me when I say I'm totally qualified to give Corey advice about his dating probs. What I'd tell him is: Listen boo, like many things in life, schoolbus makeouts will get easier with time and experience. Stick with it! After the first half a year, the kids won't even pay attention to you and your bf anymore. I know you probably have some reservations about the whole idea of making out on a schoolbus full of kids every day for months on end. Let me take this time to reassure you that no, you won't have to go through the same ordeal again if you manage to carry on your torrid schoolbus affair clear through winter break and into the new year. Gossip travels fast among the younger generation. The next year's bunch of kids ought to accept your beautiful schoolbus romance in a couple of weeks, tops. Happy smooching!
You know, I was pretty on point with that whole thing about evil doctors ruining your date with your cute monster bf. No sword cane stabbing occurred, thank goodness, but some sword cane bonking definitely happened. Poor Corey! Hasn't he suffered enough? (I would like to use this space to apologize to any sensitive readers who may have mistaken my use of the term "sword cane bonking" for "sword fighting," which is the thing where two totally hetero guys try to enter and exit a locker room at the same time and in all the confusion they end up grinding their engorged manhoods together for up to an hour in the billowing steam of the shower room.)
#TheresTheo is right. I missed that helpful hunk!
We're all familiar with the common saying, "Friends don't let friends try on evil-looking electromagnetic helmets." But did you know that the presence of a muscular hunk changes the moral calculus of even the most ethically questionable situations? That's a true fact! The natural conclusion here is that Tracy and Theo and Deucalion are correct to peer pressure Josh into doing this possibly fatal and definitely unpleasant thing. It just makes sense. Go ahead, Josh. You got this bro. What's the worst that can happen?
Deucalion really knows how to inspire confidence. The first Dread Doctor helmet was made "using practices at the farthest edges of pseudoscience," huh? So...not just ineffective, but radically unorthodox. Wow! That's definitely the type of headgear you should just strap onto your face with no hesitation at all. What are you waiting for, Josh? In my opinion there is no reason to be nervous.
Lydia and Sheriff Stilinski are doing the right thing. When a gorgeous and frequently shirtless hunk is trying to leave town, you are duty-bound to stop him. My entire trunk is filled with spike strips for just such an occasion.
Corey's chimera ability is so convenient. Not only does it enable him to turn invisible, it also enables him to be a stalker who hangs out in classrooms, locker rooms, school parking lots, and the homes of friends of your boyfriend. Whenever you need him, he's already there!
Silly Deucalion, Tracy know all about trust already. She hangs out with Theo, duh. You know, even for a blind guy, you miss a lot.
I have to hand it to Deucalion, he's a pretty obliging guest. Not for letting Theo stick a tube half the size of a garden hose in his arm and pump him full of unsanitary liquid of unknown origin for days on end. No, that's easily within the range of acceptable things a gorgeous hunk can do to you. I'm more impressed that, as far as we've seen, he hasn't complained about needing to use the bathroom. Good old Deuc probably didn't want to go and embarrass Theo by making him admit that his dumpy chimera lair doesn't even have a lavatory. That's no knock against Theo. Who among us can say our first lair was a ritzy joint? There's no shame in living within your means. Being a hunk and a supportive foster dad to a gang of teenage monsters is like two full time jobs. Juggling all of that plus loads of gym time to maintain that rockin' bod can't be easy. Props to Theo!
Yes Kira's dad! Representing grammar fiends everywhere! This show has the best parents. (Tbh, who even says "whom" anymore? But still, it's the thought that counts.)
I mean no offense to Deucalion when I say that his rating on RateMyProfessor is probably average at best. Students these days are very entitled. They will complain to their parents and their school's leadership about even the least inconvenient kind of compound fracture, like when you break their nondominant arm to demonstrate your point about stealing power by inflicting pain. Theo is a good student though. He's not one to whine about the way his megalomaniacal werewolf friend teaches him the proper method to torture and kill people. Honestly, I think Theo was more shocked than anything. Shocked that this important information wasn't covered in the Dread Doctors' homeschooling curriculum for hunky chimeras. This may sound harsh, but I'm beginning to suspect that they are bad doctors and even worse teachers. Poor Theo must feel just awful that they're more interested in doing crude science experiments and making slow dramatic entrances than giving him a proper education.
Wow, Theo's a quick study! Impaling your friends with your fingernails is hard to do on the first try. I really respect people who take their education seriously. If there's one takeaway from that time just a few seconds ago where Theo stabbed his friend in the guts and made him yell a lot, it's that Theo is not just trustworthy, not just helpful, but very dedicated as well. Did you see that shot of him just then, with Tracy in the background? He's looking super buff these days. Really hitting the weights. What a cool and heroic guy.
Is it wrong to do sex on top of a supernatural stump that may have had a lot of bodies of dead teenagers stacked all over it at one time? Just wondering in case I find myself in a forest with a stud like Parrish and we find a supernatural tree stump with a sketchy history. It happens more often than you'd think.
I have concerns about Theo putting on that icky Dread Doctor mask. Like, is it gonna mess up his hair? Will it obscure his field of vision when he's driving, or get in the way while he's working out?
I don't blame Theo for freaking out. The dust in that old helmet probably tickled his nose something fierce.
Oh good, his hair's just fine.
Yes Scott, lean into it! It's natural, go with the flow! Oh, uh... Sorry. With Theo moving in close to the camera like that, and being all hunky in the locker room like that, I just assumed a makeout scene was going to happen. Oh well, Theo can always find a better smooch partner later, like Parrish or Strauss, or possibly Derek I guess, or Porn Star Mechanic Guy from Season 2 (assuming the Dread Doctors can build Theo a time machine), or even Jackson maybe. Flights to London can't be that expensive. Doesn't Jackson come from a rich family anyway? He could let Theo use his frequent flier miles. I don't know if frequent flier miles work that way but they totally should.
Hmm, so Theo's making an alliance with Scott to help Mason? I trust him.
Aside from the foreshadowing that I'm interpreting as
Theo killing Mason and Scott killing Theo, or Mason killing Theo and Scott killing Mason
Check out Scott, letting Liam take the lead and Theo take the rear guard. Clearly he trusts Theo with his life, as any of us would in that situation. Or any situation really.
Getting lots of classic Teen Wolf vibes right now. I love watching the pack work together.
Looooooooool, that Dread Doctor just went in on millenials! "Entitlement and narcissism." Pretty sick burn tbh. He is a tad preachy on the topic of evil though. I mean, considering all those unethical experiments and murders of teenagers and everything. BTW, anyone who's tempted to take to heart any of that hypocritical blather the crazy guy in the mask spouted at Theo should consider the source. That's critical thinking 101.
"#SexyBeast"? Teen Wolf pls.
Very into this stylish moment with Skinwalkers. Between this scene and the Braeden vs Desert Wolf fight I'm definitely feeling the girl power.
Damn, all of the Dread Doctors just got F'd up! And now there's a nearly naked flaming hot hunk on the scene! I love this show.
What an episode! So cool to see all these characters come together. Even though Gerard and Papa Argent are kind of just there, they are still more than welcome. Say what you will about the Dread Doctors: they were huge jerks, but on the other hand they saw their greatest experiment through. RIP in peace Dread Doctors, I guess. Thanks for giving us Theo, and for dying before you could kill Theo for pushing you and bonking your helmet and everything. Bring on the finale!
Matt_
World's #1 One Direction Fan: Everyone else in the room can see it, everyone else but you~~~
I DONT UNDERSTAND
just WHO the fuck is the desert wolf!?
Like I get she is malias mum or something
but why is she trying to kill her
and why is she trying to kill stiles
and why the fuck doesn't someone just slit her fucking throat as clearly from this episode she is just a loon with a gun
it is PERPLEXING ME as to why this is a story line when it is NOT FUCKING RELEVANT to anything else going on
shes clearly nothing special judging by that little tussle in the house so why hasnt someone just put her down already
good grief
the rest of the episode was alright
though this kira plot that hasnt moved in two seasons is trash
just WHO the fuck is the desert wolf!?
Like I get she is malias mum or something
but why is she trying to kill her
and why is she trying to kill stiles
and why the fuck doesn't someone just slit her fucking throat as clearly from this episode she is just a loon with a gun
it is PERPLEXING ME as to why this is a story line when it is NOT FUCKING RELEVANT to anything else going on
shes clearly nothing special judging by that little tussle in the house so why hasnt someone just put her down already
good grief
the rest of the episode was alright
though this kira plot that hasnt moved in two seasons is trash
Blood Diamonds
Banned
Malia stole some of her power when she was born so now that the desert wolf has found her she's trying to kill her to get her power back. She's going after Stiles because Malia still cares about him i guessI DONT UNDERSTAND
just WHO the fuck is the desert wolf!?
Like I get she is malias mum or something
but why is she trying to kill her
and why is she trying to kill stiles
and why the fuck doesn't someone just slit her fucking throat as clearly from this episode she is just a loon with a gun
it is PERPLEXING ME as to why this is a story line when it is NOT FUCKING RELEVANT to anything else going on
shes clearly nothing special judging by that little tussle in the house so why hasnt someone just put her down already
good grief
the rest of the episode was alright
though this kira plot that hasnt moved in two seasons is trash
I DONT UNDERSTAND
just WHO the fuck is the desert wolf!?
Like I get she is malias mum or something
but why is she trying to kill her
and why is she trying to kill stiles
and why the fuck doesn't someone just slit her fucking throat as clearly from this episode she is just a loon with a gun
it is PERPLEXING ME as to why this is a story line when it is NOT FUCKING RELEVANT to anything else going on
shes clearly nothing special judging by that little tussle in the house so why hasnt someone just put her down already
good grief
the rest of the episode was alright
though this kira plot that hasnt moved in two seasons is trash
I was kind of screaming for Braeden to just murder her ass when she had her on the floor but I guess that is for Malia to do.
Yeah they keep shoving Kira to the winds which is pissing me off so bad. Maybe it's because of how powerful she is? Honestly wish they just finish the "hey your powers are wonky" shit now.
Matt_
World's #1 One Direction Fan: Everyone else in the room can see it, everyone else but you~~~
either one could have been a central plot point for half a season but theyve both been pushed to the side and given minimal time and attention
its infuriating to watch
Blood Diamonds
Banned
I think they're setting up Kira's consequence for going to the Skinwalkers a main storyline in Season 6. I hope. But I've heard that Season 6 is already filming and Kira hasn't been seen on set...
sigh
so much potential but they never bounced back from how much ass she sucked in Season 4.
sigh
so much potential but they never bounced back from how much ass she sucked in Season 4.
BewareTheBatsie
Member
If they pull the same shit of Kira being gone for the first few episodes, I swear to God. Season 5A, Kira leaves the last few episodes. Season 5B, Kira returns after the first few episodes, still misses an important episode. Season 6A, Kira is gone for the first few episodes.
The finale for season 5 better cut down every single plot. Kill off the whole Chimera pack, end the Dread Doctors, get rid of Malia's mom, deal with Mason however and finish all the mystery behind Parrish.
Blood Diamonds
Banned
I mean in theory they shouldn't have so much trouble giving her stuff to do. She has a sword, electricity powers, and a fox persona or some shit. Though when you really think about it, it took Lydia 6 seasons to do anything physical with her banshee powers.
One other thing is Lydia. She's been in a hospital a bunch of times, it's a little bit ridiculous. I really wish the writers would reconsider the focus they put on some things and try to cut down the amount of characters they have (Parrish and everything surrounding his Cerberus side or whatever has been a fucking mess)
Monocle
Member
The show needs tighter plotting. There's more than enough room for all of these characters, and they all have great chemistry. The real problem is how long subplots drag on and repeat themselves. None of the stuff in 5A or 5B was screaming for a cut. It's just that each little arc could have been condensed and organized to play out over a small cluster of episodes.
Each episode should either be devoted to the main season arc or substantially advance about two subplots. No subplot should last more than five episodes unless it's especially important. If the next season can reduce the bloat and avoid juggling a bunch of stories at once, the show will regain the sense of momentum it had in seasons 1 - 3B.
Each episode should either be devoted to the main season arc or substantially advance about two subplots. No subplot should last more than five episodes unless it's especially important. If the next season can reduce the bloat and avoid juggling a bunch of stories at once, the show will regain the sense of momentum it had in seasons 1 - 3B.
BewareTheBatsie
Member
Kira's abilities are strange, because it's like they can't decide if she is strong like were-creatures or not. Season 3B and 4 mostly had her be able to do cool stuff with a sword and the occasional electricity thing, but at the end she gained healing powers which haven't come into play yet.
She gained a tail which I took to mean she could control the Oni but none of that has come to play, she hasn't even used the Shuriken as a weapon. Her electricity seems to be when the plot calls for it, since she hasn't been shooting lightning bolts anywhere. Her Kitsune battle aura is just confusing. Is it common for Kitsune's, or is it only because the Dread Doctors messed with her?
Lydia's Banshee abilities are even more confusing. Her character arc is just a mess. When in doubt, shove her in a hospital ward. With the talk of a character dying, my best bet is Parrish although knowing this show it will be some bullshit copout and the person dying will be either a villain or someone we don't care about (like Gerard).
Monocle
Member
Kira and Parrish have yet to come into their own. Kira is farther along because she's well integrated in the pack, but her power issues aren't that compelling. That scene where she went nuts on Brett's sister was cool and should have happened much earlier, like right after she attacked Scott in the club, shortly to be followed by a resolution to the whole plotline. The writers should either make her a badass full powered kitsune or commit to the idea that her powers will always be volatile.
Parrish pops in and out as a sexy plot device. While I can't complain about that aspect, he's still this weird outlier in the pack who always seems to be splitting his time between deputy stuff and hellhound stuff. The romantic angle with Lydia is odd because of the age question, and it doesn't really work anyway. They should let Parrish and Lydia keep bonding over their power and identities issues, where they trade lessons on different skills or whatever, but carve out better defined roles for each of them.
Like, Parrish could take a security job that makes him an asset to the pack throughout the season, and Lydia could have an arc where she makes consistent progress fighting on the front lines, like Allison did way back when. It's fine if she's still a death detector and scary vision-haver, but she should at least team up with Malia, Kira, and maybe Braeden, to handle threats proactively. Also, I miss the ditzy act that she occasionally pierces by being casually brilliant. Why not pair her up with Stiles, finally, and go back the lighter side of both characters, where they've always shined in past seasons? (Stiles is kind of headed there anyway. He's a lot funnier in 5B than 5A, and it's great.)
Parrish pops in and out as a sexy plot device. While I can't complain about that aspect, he's still this weird outlier in the pack who always seems to be splitting his time between deputy stuff and hellhound stuff. The romantic angle with Lydia is odd because of the age question, and it doesn't really work anyway. They should let Parrish and Lydia keep bonding over their power and identities issues, where they trade lessons on different skills or whatever, but carve out better defined roles for each of them.
Like, Parrish could take a security job that makes him an asset to the pack throughout the season, and Lydia could have an arc where she makes consistent progress fighting on the front lines, like Allison did way back when. It's fine if she's still a death detector and scary vision-haver, but she should at least team up with Malia, Kira, and maybe Braeden, to handle threats proactively. Also, I miss the ditzy act that she occasionally pierces by being casually brilliant. Why not pair her up with Stiles, finally, and go back the lighter side of both characters, where they've always shined in past seasons? (Stiles is kind of headed there anyway. He's a lot funnier in 5B than 5A, and it's great.)
BewareTheBatsie
Member
Stiles and Lydia was fine when Stiles had an unrequited crush on her, and lead to good development when he actually moved past the crush. If they actually put the two together it would be awful. I'm a person who hates Lydia/Parrish so there isn't much of a shipping bias here. Stiles was creepy as hell with his crush on Lydia too, and I like the friendship the two have settled into above everything else.
Monocle
Member
Now that you mention it, their pairing doesn't even have to be romantic. They could just hang out together more, since they work off of each other so well. Stiles with his awkwardness, Lydia with her prissy no-nonsense attitude. Love them.
3B arrived on the tail of a merely decent season. I don't believe this show has jumped the shark yet, so there's still hope. 5B has been oddly paced, and yet some aspects were handled so well. Kira's fight in the school, the flashback, Gerard chewing the scenery, Stiles' heart-to-heart with his dad, all of the little character moments, Deucalion strutting his stuff like a badass and bringing back the classic energy of Teen Wolf's earlier villains...
The ingredients for another amazing season are all still in play. The deciding factor going forward will be the quality of the writing.
Blood Diamonds
Banned
I think Jeff Davis said he's taking a break from writing this time around. He won't be as involved or whatever so maybe that will bring interesting elements to Season 6.