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Today, I am a Father: A Homebirth Account

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DarkFlow

Banned
depends on the service. if you're poor, no health insurance, don't have your own obstetrician helping you through but just someone on duty to delivery the child, you have a really different experience than someone who has been seeing a doctor for 9 months and will be there to hand hold you through the process. A lot of women get the first one, where they go in, get cut, get handed a baby and a bill, an overnight stay for a day or 2 and then they're back home. And a lot of women didn't know where was any alternative to what they considered impersonal and cold medical procedure for bringing their child into the world.

We had Medi-Cal when my son was born, didn't cost us a penny. Even got to stay at a rather nice hospital that only did births, Sharp Mary Birch here in San Diego. Had our own room and everything.
 

DarkFlow

Banned
I have a chemistry degree, so I'm not a Luddite.

Roman has been sleeping peacefully for most of the last day. The only time he has cried is when he had trouble latching to my wife's right breast.

Get back to me in a month, let's see how quiet he is lol. It's all fun and smiles the first day, then shit gets real. Get that sleep while you can!
 
Do you have a picture of the placenta? You know those things have great healing properties. You can do so much with them and it would be a total waste to simply throw it away.

Edit: Oh, I missed the Spoiler Pic. That is a perfect specimen of a placenta. You could get '$300 for that. It's full of life and uncontaminated by drugs.
How do you even go about selling something like that? I suspect it's illegal.

$300 isn't much, anyway.

Gongrats Krast.
Thanks!

Congrats man but damn I left the old country so we didn't have to do that kinda shit. But congrats man.
Technology doesn't improve everything!

Wait, you're going to eat part of the placenta??
Well, yeah, we won't be greedy.

Nope, it was not caught on ultrasound. When one uterus was 'pregnant' the other was collapsed. They only found out about the two uterus thing when the cut me open and dug around.

And babies usually turn upside down sometime during the last month of pregnancy. My last ultrasound had show him to be in correct position, but the contractions had somehow moved him maybe? He was transverse breech, there was no way he was coming out. They thought about trying to manually turn him and try from there, but he heartbeat stopped during a contraction so they rushed me to the OR. So glad they didn't try, I likely would have died. My cervix was basically only half a cervix lol.

Another fucking odd one: During my last incredibly high risk pregnancy, I was having contractions a lot pretty much the whole last two months, and one time they were worried enough to see if I was dilated. They couldn't find my cervix. After some INCREDIBLY invasive searching by several different doctors, they finally did a transvaginal ultrasound and discovered my uterui had freaking flipped over. My cervix was directly under my belly button. I didn't know that was a thing could actually happen.

This of course made the whole 'holding off premature labor' thing worse because contractions tend to focus downward, and without a cervix to absorb (or whatever) them, they instead just kept thinning the walls of the uterus until I nearly bled to death, hence, the two month early emergency c-section that time :p

Last kid though. Had it all fucking removed after that. Two uterus are NOT better than one.



https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uterus_didelphys

I however did not have cervices and I seriously fucking quote my doctor "I don't think you have two vaginas."

Also, very glad this didn't happen:
HAHAHAHA. That doctor is amazing.

Thank you for sharing all that! My wife is reading the thread, so she'll enjoy it, too.

Why hone school him Karst? Aren't you a teacher? Or did that go over my head
Yeah, I am a teacher that doesn't trust teachers. A short story:

When I was a child, my mother read with me every night. As a result, I grew to love reading. I was the kid that devoured two novels a week, just reading for hours on end in my free time. In middle school, I had a teacher that made us do a "reading journal" every night for whatever we read. It turned reading into a chore to me, and I stopped doing it as a leisure activity. I effectively stopped reading for the next 10 years unless I had to.

I think school is often a horrific place where most students lose their love of learning. If you asked why I am a teacher, I would say it's because I cherish the relationships I build with my students. My classroom is also unlike any other classroom I am aware of, and my students excel in the environment I provide for them.

There are also issues of attention. In schools around here, 30 students to 1 teacher is not uncommon. My child is not going to learn fast in that environment, because the teacher has to slow down for everyone else. If my son is like me, he will be a fast learner, and be bored in class. I would rather have him learn at home (my wife and I have degrees in veterinary nursing, anthropology, political science, philosophy, chemistry, and - soon - education between us). This would:
1) Give him an innate love of learning (whatever you do with Mom, you love).
2) Let him work at a quick pace.
3) Allow us to give him individualized instruction.
4) Teach him to be an independent and motivated learner.

Also, it will help keep him away from the drug problems around here - with marijuana legalized in Colorado, a huge portion of the student population gets high. Without going on too much of a tangent, I don't think it's good for developing minds (at the very least).

Congrats!

Our third daughter was a home birth a few months ago, and we enjoyed the experience as well - many times over because it meant no last minute trying to ensure the kids were looked after, and both of them (sort of) stayed asleep during the whole experience.

My wife said in hindsight she would have preferred to not have the tub, as while it helped with some of the pain it also meant she couldn't move around nearly as much and felt really constrained.

It wasn't really an issue of cost here in Canada, either. First daughter was a fully medicated birth in hospital, epidural and everything. Second was in hospital but completely natural as she came insanely fast. Third took a bit longer at home only because she was huge (over 10 pounds, significantly bigger than the other two).

Birthing pool mainly contained bits of birthing lining and other fun stuff (no poop). Like you I had to capture that moment, as I was an idiot and didn't buy a pump with the birthing pool. So I had to empty the goddamn thing bucket by bucket into the toilet.

SFoNpIb.jpg


Home birth rates have risen here - still only 2% of total births, though. For low risk pregnancies, however, I think they're pretty awesome. Way less stressful than hospital births...though perhaps some of that is just that we've done both and knew what to expect this time.



Agreed. Well, some days I might even say three kids are too much, but you've got me on a good day.
Did you do it without a midwife? Some people do that.

Our tub was significantly bigger than yours. It was more like a sauna, and it came with a heating system to ensure the water was comfortable. We both fit in, laying down, with a lot of extra room.

Since it is your wife's #3+, though, she probably has this on a lock.

Thank you for sharing!

Yeah, that is what I meant (someone who actually knows what they're doing looking over all the medical data and determining whether or not there's a probability of complications). If you had a midwife that was legitimately capable of doing that, then good for you. And I can understand how the idea of not having your doctor available at the birth would be a legitimately worrisome issue. I actually went through some of this stuff when my sister had her child, as the father wasn't really around. Lucky for us, her doctor was available for part of the birth, especially since she did have unforeseen complications arise.
I am sure there are lesser midwives, just like there are lesser doctors. Thank you for sharing that. :)

Wonder what kinda beer goes with a placenta too?
We don't drink alcohol. We got sparkling grapejuice to celebrate the birth. :)

You don't actually have to have epidurals for birthing its an option for women. My wife gave birth to our kids with zero drugs, she didn't even want to take pills of any kind during pregnancy. I guess whats important though is that he got here safe and he's doing great even if it meant arriving in a blood pool.

Bloodbirth pool is a great band name btw I'm trademarking it.
The name is yours, sir.

I was surprised when we went to our birthing classes. The other women constantly asked about the epidural. "When can I get it?" "When is the soonest it can happen?" "Is there a point where it's too late?" They were so terrified of the pain. I won't pretend that giving birth isn't painful. To quote the midwife talking to my wife, "10/10 on the pain scale was just redefined for you" - yeah, no kidding.

Get back to me in a month, let's see how quiet he is lol.
I will do that. If he takes after me, he'll hardly ever cry. When my mother had me, everyone kept asking her if she was tired. She said "Huh? It's easy - he just sleeps all the time. I have to wake him up to see if he's hungry." Then she had my sister, and she understood what everyone was talking about...

It's late so maybe I missed it, sorry. All I saw was him saying he is sensitive about the vaccine thing and also didn't want the baby to have a vitamin K shot.

Just please vaccinate your kids. That's all. If you are, then cool!

Also, congrats on baby.
The Vitamin K situation was just because he just came out of the womb. He's in a new world. A major shift in his existence. Now something sharp is going into his leg. That bothered me. I'm not worried about the Vitamin K, just the pain from the needle.

I totally plan on vaccinating my kids, but I'm going to do it on a slower schedule. Not because of autism concerns, but because I almost died from being oversensitive to vaccinations as an infant. Since he's my son, there's a chance he might have a similar experience, so we need to be careful with him.

I know it might seem like I'm anti-science since I did a home birth, but I'm really not. I used to want to be a geneticist and produce GMO human beings, after all. ;-D
 

entremet

Member
You'll be a great father, Karst.

I've had similar concerns about education. I'm childless now, but I definitely not a fan of the current sit down all day, one size fits all model of schooling.

And with high stakes testing taking more time from real learning, it's a sad situation.

With all due respect to your profession, of course. My closest friend is an educator and he's had similar concerns.

The original public schools were designed to produce docile factory workers in mind. We've long past that.
 

way more

Member
How do you even go about selling something like that? I suspect it's illegal.

$300 isn't much, anyway.

That was a total low-ball. You seem to know a lot about placentas and I apologize. We just have so many new fathers here who don't know shit about the gold most people throw out.
 
You'll be a great father, Karst.

I've had similar concerns about education. I'm childless now, but I definitely not a fan of the current sit down all day, one size fits all model of schooling.

And with high stakes testing taking more time from real learning, it's a sad situation.

With all due respect to your profession, of course. My closest friend is an educator and he's had similar concerns.

The original public schools were designed to produce docile factory workers in mind. We've long past that.
No worries about respecting my profession. I don't really respect it, myself. I do respect certain individuals within the profession, though. No profession gets respect for free, in my book. I'm also incredibly hard to offend.

My students are moving all throughout class. My school uses something called "360 Math"; here is a video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lvsC8NrfIAY

I don't think the United States really takes people seriously on a mass level. The thinker John Dewey wrote Democracy and Education, a book arguing that our classrooms should be fundamentally democratic to teach our children democratic values (right now, we teach them to behave like subjects under a monarchy):
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Democracy_and_Education

This will give you an idea of how the text was typically received:
http://humanevents.com/2005/05/31/ten-most-harmful-books-of-the-19th-and-20th-centuries/

Maybe the list is right, but it isn't like our country had a real dialogue about the text, either. It just made people uncomfortable, and they went back to the assembly line education system we have today.

The standardized testing situation is a real concern. Last year, my students lost 8 whole days to different standardized state tests. Some schools lost weeks - yikes.

That was a total low-ball. You seem to know a lot about placentas and I apologize. We just have so many new fathers here who don't know shit about the gold most people throw out.
Huh. What about the illegal thing? Haha. I tried a Google search, but just came up with an article about NHS selling placentas for $5,000 for cosmetic products. Woah! I'm new to that aspect of this deal.
 

obin_gam

Member
Karsticles said:
Roman also passed the Spartan elder test (finger clamping), which made me happy. :) I checked it as soon as he left the vaginal canal.

The what?

Karsticles said:
if you can have a home birth, it offers many advantages.
Please list them.


Karsticles said:
I have had an obsession with cannibalism for much of my life, and this is probably my only real chance to eat human flesh.

...
 

Trojita

Rapid Response Threadmaker
Grats!

Spartan Elder Test?

Where did you get the idea that it was based on hand clamping?
 

FyreWulff

Member
Grats!

Spartan Elder Test?

Where did you get the idea that it was based on hand clamping?

Probably the same place he thought being compressed by a vagina is the only way you can bond to your parent, ignoring the fact that kids can bond to their dad and bond to adoptive parents...
 

FyreWulff

Member
Anyway Karst didn't say that. Lay off.

lol

2) Hospitals will try to induce labor or perform a cesarian section because they are in it for the money, but women that receive c-sections have lower imprinting rates on their infant (imprinting is the phenomenon where your infant becomes attached to you as an emotionally significant individual, and it actually works both ways - movement through the vaginal canal stimulates the release of hormones that increase lovingness toward the infant), and lower attach rates.
 

Trojita

Rapid Response Threadmaker
Hold up ...

You get a $20k bill ...

For having your baby in a hospital?

FUCK!

It's expensive as shit. There are certain people, that pre-assessed by medical professionals, could reasonably have a good chance of giving birth at home without complications. There are many that can't. What are you going to do if the baby is being choked by their umbilical cord during delivery? Are you going to trust that the midwife can save your child?

The prices are high because hospitals, medical supply companies, and big pharma love making money. They make it hard to have any other alternative.
 

DarkFlow

Banned
Well, there is that Article from Yale I linked above.
The study you linked that said this?

Swain said that no parent in the small study developed clinical depression, making it hard to assess the significance of the findings without replication and follow-up studies

They tested 24 total mothers, that's not exactly a big study.
 

Trojita

Rapid Response Threadmaker
Well, there is that Article from Yale I linked above.

Would need more studies and a higher sample size. I'd like to read the scientific journal but it appears you have to pay for it. It would be good to know how they are explaining the brain activity, how much higher or deeper the activity is, and if it is even necessary.
 

RSP

Member
It's expensive as shit. There are certain people, that pre-assessed by medical professionals, could reasonably have a good chance of giving birth at home without complications. There are many that can't. What are you going to do if the baby is being choked by their umbilical cord during delivery? Are you going to trust that the midwife can save your child?

Most births over here are done at home. There are a lot of complications that can be dealt with by the gynaecologist and mid-wife (both will be present while giving birth) on the spot.

The prices are high because hospitals, medical supply companies, and big pharma love making money. They make it hard to have any other alternative.

Man ... I think most of you know that the cost of healthcare is much lower in Europeland, but this is ridiculous.

My girlfriend had both of our babies in the hospital. Mind you: Most births will be done at home, but since she had bad blood values, she was actually required to give birth in the hospital at week 37. Because there was a medical reason for having the birth in the hospital, it was going to be completely free for us. Otherwise, there would have been a 300-500 euro deductable.

First baby:
- Spent six days in the hospital prior to giving birth.
- Had several procedures to help start contractions.
- Eventually decided to go with C-section.
- Spent four more days in the hospital afterwards.
- Had about 10 days of home-care after leaving the hospital. (this is where someone comes to your house to help care for the baby -feeding, washing, clothing, changing- and do the daily chores -cooking, groceries, cleaning-)

We did not receive a single bill.

Second baby:
- Same blood-problem as the first one, had to come to the hospital at week 37.
- Spent 24 hours in the hospital, trying to get the labor going.
- Decided to go with C-section again.
- Baby had to go into an incubator, spent 3 days under the supervision of paediatricians.
- Total of 6 days in the hospital.
- Received the same home-care as with the first baby.

We did not receive a single bill.

Of course, there are costs involved. We have a mandatory health insurance which costs around 80 euros per month as a minimum. However, no additional coverage was needed since there was a medical reason to have the babies at the hospital.
 

jerry1594

Member
It's not exactly a crazy concept, the gist of it is that the pain of childbirth signals the brain to release oxytocin in large quantities, which plays a big role in mother-child bonding. It's also released during breastfeeding. As far as being necessary, that kids are born via c-section and develop fine would point to 'no', wouldn't it.
 

DOWN

Banned
There are no spoiler tags on mobile so congrats you and omg the pics

I have to agree with those who said your account comes off as evangelical. You downplay the safety a hospital provides in case of unexpected trouble and make claims as fact when they aren't.
 

Dreavus

Member
MMmmmm...cold placenta sandwiches...

http://art.penny-arcade.com/photos/215532998_apntB/0/1050x10000/215532998_apntB-1050x10000.jpg[IMG][/QUOTE]

You know, I always thought this comic was just a goofy/gross-out thing, as penny arcade are wont to do sometimes.

Then I learned, in this very thread, that eating the stuff is a thing that people do.
 

Item Box

Member
I regret opening this thread on mobile, spoiler tags don't work on pictures

Congrats on your child though, and try not to lose too much sleep
 

Mik2121

Member
Congrats on the baby. We had ours in the hospital but the whole process from arriving to the hospital, to the baby being outside breathing took just 30 minutes so we were quite lucky, haha! I couldn't get myself to cut the umbilical cord though, as I'm kinda weak for that stuff and I was already tired enough (it was late at night).

No epidural nor any sort of medicine either, as in Japan it seems like they like going natural whenever possible. The mom spent 5 days at the hospital recovering and getting assistance from the nurses 24/7 and awesome food (not your typical hospital food, but some pretty tasty-looking stuff) after that back home so it was great. I wonder how it works in the US and other countries though...



Edit: I regret clicking on that last pic though :(
 
You were very stupid in opting to have a homebirth. I'm glad it went fine, but you put the child's life at risk, should anything have gone wrong. You got a midwife which is better than nothing, but it's still no substitute for an actual medical facility with onsite equipment and staff prepared for any possible situation.

Patton Oswalt - Home Births

"If one more of my Whole Foods friends tells me that I have to have a home birth I am going to punch all the soy on the planet."

Where do you get off telling him he was stupid? If they still ran the batter of neonatal tests and care up until birth with everything looking fine, and they had a licensed midwife present (which they did) its perfectly fine.

Homebirths as less stressful for the mother which does in fact result in less pain. A compromise for people who don't want homebirth and who don't want the clinical nature of traditional hospital births can opt for an in-hospital water birth with the stipulation of no painkillers and no labor inducers (long labor is required to prevent vaginal tearing) and not to take the child away before breastfeeding the first time.
 

TheOGB

Banned
This thread has been.... interesting. And quite informative. Congrats, Karst!

My family joked with my brother and his wife about eating the placenta (at Christmas dinner smh), but I don't know if they ended up doing it. They had the baby back in March.
 

kennah

Member
Congrats! Three home births here and it is totally the way to go (for low risk, healthy births).

Now you need to do one unassisted. Our second was accidentally unassisted. Labour was only a couple hours and the baby showed up before the midwife.

I caught my daughter as she shot right out. The worst part was having to cut the cord. Grossest thing ever.
 

Darksol

Member
Where do you get off telling him he was stupid? If they still ran the batter of neonatal tests and care up until birth with everything looking fine, and they had a licensed midwife present (which they did) its perfectly fine.

Homebirths as less stressful for the mother which does in fact result in less pain. A compromise for people who don't want homebirth and who don't want the clinical nature of traditional hospital births can opt for an in-hospital water birth with the stipulation of no painkillers and no labor inducers (long labor is required to prevent vaginal tearing) and not to take the child away before breastfeeding the first time.

I dunno. He's leery of vaccinations, wants to home school, is for unspecified reasons worried about technology, and is making placenta into jerky and pills -- I'm comfortable with my initial assessment. I'm not going to pretend that I support people willfully turning away proper medical care just because they've got some hangup about the "clinical" nature of a hospital. To each their own, but I'm not going to pretend like I respect the decision.

Even presuming you have amazing odds for the world's easiest delivery, is it really worth risking your child's life on the off chance something goes wrong? A midwife is better than nothing, but it still doesn't compare to the staff and technology available at a hospital. A 10 second Google search can quickly reveal:

In 2014, a comprehensive review in the Journal of Medical Ethics of 12 previously published studies encompassing 500,000 planned home births in low-risk women found that perinatal mortality rates for home births were triple that of hospital births.

Justify it however you like, but I wouldn't be comfortable rolling the dice like that with someone's life. They were -- kudos to them that everything went okay.
 

DJ_Lae

Member
Even presuming you have amazing odds for the world's easiest delivery, is it really worth risking your child's life on the off chance something goes wrong? A midwife is better than nothing, but it still doesn't compare to the staff and technology available at a hospital. A 10 second Google search can quickly reveal:

In 2014, a comprehensive review in the Journal of Medical Ethics of 12 previously published studies encompassing 500,000 planned home births in low-risk women found that perinatal mortality rates for home births were triple that of hospital births.

I wouldn't do it for a first birth - just wouldn't be comfortable, even though there was a study up here in Canada within the last couple of months that showed mortality rates were identical for low risk pregnancies delivered at home or in hospital.

Having said that, the midwives do have equipment with them in the event of an emergency and they carefully checked and laid it all out on our counter prior to the delivery. So if the baby isn't breathing, needs mucus cleared, or whatever, they can help with that and (in our case at least) a hospital wasn't particularly far away in the event of something really disastrous.

It does toe the line of some other stuff I'm not hugely into, but I was okay doing it simply because we were pretty low risk and knew what to expect, plus with two kids it made a potential middle of the night rush to a hospital unnecessary. And of course, labour started around midnight and delivery was at 5 in the morning, so that worked out incredibly well.

edit - interestingly, I have stats from my work that show in Alberta, prevalence of home births goes up as income goes up. I'd imagine part of it is that a lot of people just don't know it's an option and some of the supplies (like the pool) aren't cheap, whereas if you go to the hospital everything is free.
 

MikeDip

God bless all my old friends/And god bless me too, why pretend?
Yeah, not gonna watch that, sorry. BUT: Wanted to ask how lil Roman is doing?

He chilling?
 
I don't see anything wrong with this. If anything its fascinating. I had no idea you could turn a placenta into pills, I'm curious what exactly the benefits of consuming it are since I have no idea.

Congrats on the successful home birth, OP :)

Reading up on hospital births cost in the US, I'm surprised more people aren't opting for home birth!
http://edition.cnn.com/2013/07/09/opinion/declercq-childbirth-costs/
psyduck.gif

Wouldn't be surprised if doctors got bonuses for doing more C-sections.

Holy fucking shit. I had no idea having a baby was that expensive. As if paying for everything else wasn't enough, its like you just start off in debt the moment you pop one out. Thats just.....absolutely insane.
 

DJ_Lae

Member
I don't see anything wrong with this. If anything its fascinating. I had no idea you could turn a placenta into pills, I'm curious what exactly the benefits of consuming it are since I have no idea.

High iron. I've also heard that it's high in hormones you don't necessarily want to be adding to your body, with some people having adverse reactions. Unlike some animals, there is no need for humans to eat theirs.

I would eat a bit more out of curiousity than any perceived health benefits, as I don't think there are any. Some people swear by them but I'd imagine it's more of a placenta placebo than anything.
 
Honest question ; what is wrong with you? Why on earth would you or anyone want to eat a placenta? What century is this?

You actually admitted to having an obsession with cannibalism and no one called you out on it. It's just congrats all around. What the actual fuck, GAF. This is easily one of the sickest things I've read on GAF but everyone is overlooking it because, yay, a baby was born? Forget the gross pics, people... he ate human flesh.

Yeah, sorry. No congrats here, cannibal.
 
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