This is very much on point.
Anyone who would refuse to share when your seeking to learn and are earnest in doing so shouldn't be taken seriously nor detour you from reaching out to gain the knowledge.
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Transgaf: 'cause boys will be girls (and vice versa)
- Thread starter lexi
- Start date
This is very much on point.
Anyone who would refuse to share when your seeking to learn and are earnest in doing so shouldn't be taken seriously nor detour you from reaching out to gain the knowledge.
The biggest problem with this is that most cis men don't seem to think much about gender so it is weird for them to see gender as something that exists, even if is socially molded.
And it is easy to see how something that does not exist on your view to be equal another thing that does not exist like "brain race" (like how gender is brain sex)
And it is easy to see how something that does not exist on your view to be equal another thing that does not exist like "brain race" (like how gender is brain sex)
Team Alucard
Banned
I changed my mind about HRT. Starting now would pretty much destroy my entire future and end with me homeless and dead in an alley somewhere.
Maybe in 5 years if I have a government job with union backing I'll feel more comfortable transitioning, but its not an option right now.
When I talk to the endo again in a month Ill ask for finasteride to stave off any potential hair loss, or maybe just an anti-androgen only regime, although I doubt they'd let me do that gi en the health risks involved.
Maybe in 5 years if I have a government job with union backing I'll feel more comfortable transitioning, but its not an option right now.
When I talk to the endo again in a month Ill ask for finasteride to stave off any potential hair loss, or maybe just an anti-androgen only regime, although I doubt they'd let me do that gi en the health risks involved.
Butterfly Witch
Member
Running on no or low testosterone will lead you to depression, guaranteed.
Stop looking for the perfect moment, it's always going to be scary.
Team Alucard
Banned
I already feel like shit and have strong suicidal ideations.
It's not about the perfect moment, it's about fondong a moment that isn't highly likely to end with me homeless and having to do sex work to survive before inevitably being killed by some transphobe/hiv/drugs/myself.
Butterfly Witch
Member
You realize that not doing HRT is a guarantee way down that path?
HRT is literally your only shot at happiness.
Look I don't mind either way as I'm a strong advocate of doing what ya want.
That said your gunna die friend be it now or later and if your freak out on a dime turns you keep doing in this thread are anything to go by your mental state is already rough and apart of you is demanding to be set free by transitioning.
If your as suicidal as ya say ya should see someone but more so if you are already that bad what makes you think that your gunna stave off suicide until such time as you get to this time you "can" transition?
Look I wish ya luck either way but ya gotta take a look in the mirror and ask yourself truly if you can even get to this point your hoping for by not transitioning cause honestly you don't give the impression you can.
Get help friend.
Silvawuff
Member
There will never be a "perfect" time to transition. What I will say is that if you make that choice, do it as an act of love for yourself rather than because you hate yourself.
There are no rules about what you must do or how you do it -- start making subtle changes to be happy with yourself. It's a bit like a rollercoaster. Looking at it from the bottom it looks scary. You just have to make that climb to the top before you go for the ride. It might be overwhelming now, but you'll get off it feeling better than you ever have. Trust.
As another thought: I strongly encourage you to talk to a professional about this. Not a random counselor, an actual person who understands transgender stuff. Don't use internet or random anecdotes to shape what your personal experience will be like. Each person -- and their transition -- is personal and different, and not every one is a crap shoot.
There are no rules about what you must do or how you do it -- start making subtle changes to be happy with yourself. It's a bit like a rollercoaster. Looking at it from the bottom it looks scary. You just have to make that climb to the top before you go for the ride. It might be overwhelming now, but you'll get off it feeling better than you ever have. Trust.
As another thought: I strongly encourage you to talk to a professional about this. Not a random counselor, an actual person who understands transgender stuff. Don't use internet or random anecdotes to shape what your personal experience will be like. Each person -- and their transition -- is personal and different, and not every one is a crap shoot.
Dr. Buni
Member
I agree. In theory, I started transition in a really bad moment, because I had no job and no formation, plus I live in quite the transphobia-heavy country.
No regrets. I wish I could have started sooner, if anything.
tearsofash
Member
i haven't had a cigaratte in a few weeks. i've been on the gum. hopefully by the next doctor visit i can convince my doc to give me more estradiol now >
Team Alucard
Banned
I graduate in a year from a shit university in a shit state into a shitty job market with no relevant experience whatsoever. I already have serious doubts about being able to find gainful employment presenting as a cis male, let alone as a trans person where it will be 1,000x harder.
My parents will not support me if I come out (my relationship with dad is already tenuous after I came out as gay years ago) so I have nothing to fall back on if things go bad. it will literally be streets and likely death for me if I am unable to find a job.
Dr. Buni
Member
Don't transition then. It is your choice. Just keep in mind that, in the future, you are likely to regret not having transitioned earlier.
Terrorblot
Member
i haven't had a cigaratte in a few weeks. i've been on the gum. hopefully by the next doctor visit i can convince my doc to give me more estradiol now >
I smoke and am on full dose for estradiol. I'm probably going to die huh? Trying to quit... :|
Silvawuff
Member
I'm not sure where your location is, but if you're near any big city, it will almost always have trans-friendly services, often on the cheap. Your university might even offer support and resources for you, you just have to reach out and look for them.
I know there are a myriad of factors outside of your control, which is why I think it's wise to embrace the things you can control. If you say "If I do this, I'll have a bad time," you will have a bad time. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy. You can make the choice to make positive changes in your life -- no matter the risk or cost -- or don't. Only you have to live in your own skin; not your parents, your friends, your job, whatever.
Most work places are pretty good about embracing any trans-employees. I was scared to come out at my job a while ago, and when my boss finally found out, he came in and pledged me his full support. He's been working with my scheduling for treatments and trips I've needed to take, above and beyond anything I expected. Most places can't afford to not support you, especially in the current legal and social ecosystem.
Baby steps. One thing at a time. You don't have to suddenly change your name, how you dress, pop hormones, and jump for SRS. Make little goals for yourself; things that would make you feel better as a person -- it doesn't even have to be transition related. Pick up a new hobby or something where you can put positive focus, then once you've established that, work on yourself and make those hard choices, when you're in a better place to think and plan. If your parents won't support you, find people who will. When you start off with making big changes, you may feel alone. I did. If you rise up and stand behind who you truly are, you will find others will rise to stand with you. You'd be surprised.
What I've found personally is that gender and how you present yourself don't mean as much as you think they do. It's all about self-perception and learning how other people think and see you. Building confidence and learning to accept and love yourself; I think these are truly the crux of a wholesome path of self-improvement and healing. You can do this, you just have to take those first steps...
It was four and a half years after I fully realized what was going on with me before I started hormones; fifteen months after that before I went full time. Of course I wish I had started earlier—I wish I had done so in my pre-teens. But the regret of not having done things earlier is sometimes easier to deal with than the chaos you can throw your life into by jumping too soon. You have to do things when you're ready to, because not doing that is one of the things that I believe leads to transition regret.
Team Alucard, I'd probably be in the same mental position you're in right now. I didn't have to worry, because I had a job I knew I wouldn't lose in an industry that would accept me, I have the financial stability needed in case I did lose that job, and I had a support system in place with people who I knew weren't going to abandon me. If I didn't have those luxuries, then you'd damn well better believe I'd have handled things in a different way. I've seen people whose plans were "I'm going to transition and figure out the life/money situation later" and end up totally screwed. Obviously you don't want to push things back and back and back until you're just a bitter and jaded person mad at the world for never letting you take the next step, but you also need to take that step with a little planning and without the mentality of a teenager who doesn't understand consequences. (I also have zero faith in "social services" and would never want to have to rely on them if things go bad.)
If I were you, I'd graduate from school, bust my ass to find a job, and spend at least a year saving every bit of money that I could. Preferably, I'd be doing that in a city more accommodating to my future, but if you can find something decent where you're at, and the cost of living there isn't too bad, then it might be better to stay put for a short time to build up savings. Of course, the pitfall you want to avoid is letting yourself get comfortable in a place that gives you too many excuses to just keep on keeping on instead of taking the next step.
Team Alucard, I'd probably be in the same mental position you're in right now. I didn't have to worry, because I had a job I knew I wouldn't lose in an industry that would accept me, I have the financial stability needed in case I did lose that job, and I had a support system in place with people who I knew weren't going to abandon me. If I didn't have those luxuries, then you'd damn well better believe I'd have handled things in a different way. I've seen people whose plans were "I'm going to transition and figure out the life/money situation later" and end up totally screwed. Obviously you don't want to push things back and back and back until you're just a bitter and jaded person mad at the world for never letting you take the next step, but you also need to take that step with a little planning and without the mentality of a teenager who doesn't understand consequences. (I also have zero faith in "social services" and would never want to have to rely on them if things go bad.)
If I were you, I'd graduate from school, bust my ass to find a job, and spend at least a year saving every bit of money that I could. Preferably, I'd be doing that in a city more accommodating to my future, but if you can find something decent where you're at, and the cost of living there isn't too bad, then it might be better to stay put for a short time to build up savings. Of course, the pitfall you want to avoid is letting yourself get comfortable in a place that gives you too many excuses to just keep on keeping on instead of taking the next step.
JimiNutz
Banned
All this talk of hormone therapy made me think about how brave this community actually is (outside of the abuse and hostility that many of you also face).
When my test is low (such as when I've had a particularly hard week at the gym, little sleep etc.) I feel absolutely awful. Hormones are very influential in how we feel and to willingly embark on a course of action that will massively disrupt that hormone system would be a really scary proposition for me. It makes me think about how much some people must suffer before they decide to head down this path (obviously surgery is scary as well).
Obviously I have no real idea what some of you are going through but I'd never really given this much thought before and I wish you all luck and hope you find the strength to get through it and happiness in the end.
When my test is low (such as when I've had a particularly hard week at the gym, little sleep etc.) I feel absolutely awful. Hormones are very influential in how we feel and to willingly embark on a course of action that will massively disrupt that hormone system would be a really scary proposition for me. It makes me think about how much some people must suffer before they decide to head down this path (obviously surgery is scary as well).
Obviously I have no real idea what some of you are going through but I'd never really given this much thought before and I wish you all luck and hope you find the strength to get through it and happiness in the end.
I'm still feeling wishy washy and fluid on my gender, although the fact I don't feel that bad at all with low T and that T injections made me more volatile and moody if anything probably says enough there.
I'm kind of in the "wait for a convenient time first" mentality myself, but not with the pessimistic thinking of Alucard but more convenience and pragmatism. And comfort.
I'm kind of in the "wait for a convenient time first" mentality myself, but not with the pessimistic thinking of Alucard but more convenience and pragmatism. And comfort.
Team Alucard
Banned
Bulllllllshiiiiit.
We have a tremendous wealth of statistics that show that what you're saying is patently false.
It does not matter what anti-discrimination laws or policies your employer has, if people at work are uncomfortable with you being trans (and they will be) the firm will find a way to get rid of you. The only thing weaker than employment law in the U.S are the agencies that enforce them.
That's why I won't transition until I have built up some seniority at a job with union backing. That way if they want to get rid of me they actually have to prove it's related to performance.
Butterfly Witch
Member
Then point them out. Show me your receipts.
I know plenty of career professional and non-career trans women who have had good experiences and maintain a job, even get promoted.
Stop trying to find excuses not to do it. Yeah, it's scary but it's doable and it doesn't have to be the end of the world. There will always be issues, risks and dangers, that's life.
Rajack
Member
That's trivializing things a bit don't you think? You need to consider that there are acceptable and unacceptable risks based upon limitless variables like the level of reward, environment, and other mitigating and aggravating factors. Do try not to discredit the thoughts and opinions of others out of hand without first considering their circumstances.
Butterfly Witch
Member
No, I don't.
I know their history as they post quite regularly here and pretty much everywhere else on the board.
Do not try to scold me or criticize me based on privilege.
If you have beef then PM me.
Yes there are and we should respect the ideas of the people unless the person in respect already said worst reasons to why not transition.
We have to understand what is a real problem and what is a person who is "today is raining, I will die a man"
Silvawuff
Member
Like I said, there are a myriad of factors at play here and the context of the situation is rather limited, but I think we have a solid consensus here:
Stop making excuses and find a way to make yourself happy.
I really think Mollipen is giving you some really good, solid advice based on what you've shared in this thread.
I think any job you have that doesn't want you around because you're transgender, is probably not a good job to be working at anyway.
Stop making excuses and find a way to make yourself happy.
I really think Mollipen is giving you some really good, solid advice based on what you've shared in this thread.
I think any job you have that doesn't want you around because you're transgender, is probably not a good job to be working at anyway.
I apologize for how ridiculously long this is. I feel like I just wrote my life story. I decided that I wanted to write my thoughts down so as to get them out of my head and then decided to post them here after. I hope that's okay. I'm explaining everything to myself as much as I'm explaining them to anyone else. I'm not convinced that I'm transgender, but I've been thinking about my gender a lot lately and how I've felt about it over my life. I'm currently male btw.
I've always been envious of femininity and have often wished I could be cute in that way. When I was younger there were quite a few instances of me wearing my sister's and mother's panties and whatnot. But what child doesn't experiment? I remember playing truth or dare with my female friends once when I was maybe 10 and purposefully putting the idea in their heads that they should force me to wear a dress as a dare. I got too embarrassed at the moment they dared me and ended up not doing it however.
At around the same age I also discovered Ranma ½ which I never actually ended up reading. I'm pretty sure I read an advertisement or something and got really excited at the idea of a male character that could transform into a woman. It gave me kind of a warm feeling, I suppose. I then scoured my local bookstore looking for it, but I don't think I ever found it. My father was with me at the time and I refused to tell him what book I was looking for despite spending what seemed like a long time looking. That was incredibly disappointing and I never ended up following up.
I'm pretty sure not long before puberty I would occasionally have dreams of cutting my penis off. It's hard for me to tell why at this point. I think it's because of my religious upbringing and the demonization of masturbation. I hated the fact that I couldn't stop myself and that God hated me because of it. I don't believe that I feel particularly bad toward my penis at this point.
When I was 12 or 13 I started noticing friends going through puberty. I made fun of them at first: ”haha, you have hair on your legs, that's gross!" But then puberty hit me. I had never been fond of my body up until that point, but I largely associate that with me being an overweight child. I would come home at the end of the day in elementary school and literally cry in the shower and punch myself in the stomach in frustration at my ugly body. One day, after starting puberty, I noticed hair on my chest in the mirror and freaked out. I ended up getting a razor and shaving my whole torso. I'm pretty sure at this point I had never shaved before. I was very disappointed with the results. I realized that without hair my body just looked like that of a fat ugly baby.
Probably partly because of this I stopped eating much. I desperately wanted to be skinny or ”petite." I think at one point I was only maybe eating a single hot pocket a day at most. Fortunately, I gave into peer pressure at some point and started eating lunches again and basically went back to eating like normal. I actually had friends at that time because of church and I was never the kind of person to want anyone to worry about me.
For the first couple years of high school I did really well. I was playing tennis competitively. I felt comfortable and like I was always improving. It was a good distraction.
Around the time I turned 16 I got severely depressed because of a few realizations. School was really hard. I started to realize that I was bisexual, but I didn't want to believe it. I stopped believing in god. And I dabbled in thinking about transgenderism but realized that I could never be as cute as I wanted at this point anyway. I got into the unfortunate habit of cutting myself because of how much I just wanted all these thoughts to stop. They gave me so much anxiety. I felt like a freak. I wished I could just be happy with who I was and move on with my life. I had school and whatnot; I didn't have time to constantly be worrying about all these things.
I eventually mellowed out a bit, but my depression ended up getting a lot worse in college. I'm convinced that I've always been at least somewhat depressed and that my sexuality and gender confusion were probably the main reasons. I got the depression treated separately from everything else. I was too embarrassed to mention my sexuality, gender confusion, cutting, and body hatred to anyone. I just told everyone that I pretty much hated myself and that was that. I'm on pills for that now and that seems to be going okay.
I've always taken offense when my mother makes me do something simply because I'm ”the man of the family." I don't want to be ”the man." I've never even wanted to be manly. I don't want muscles, or to be big and strong or anything like that. Right now I feel like a big oaf.
I think Samus Aran, ignoring Other M, is the most badass character. If I wanted to be like anyone it would be her.
I've pretty much felt for a long time that if I could snap my fingers and become a woman, or at least look like one, I would do it in a heartbeat. But that's not the reality of the situation. The reality is harsh and difficult and I'm not convinced that my desires are strong enough for me to be willing to go through all of it. I've managed to live the last couple years contentedly without worrying about it at all. Surely I could keep going like this?
Reading back over this I sound pretty fuckin' transgender. Or at least somewhere in the middle.
I've always been envious of femininity and have often wished I could be cute in that way. When I was younger there were quite a few instances of me wearing my sister's and mother's panties and whatnot. But what child doesn't experiment? I remember playing truth or dare with my female friends once when I was maybe 10 and purposefully putting the idea in their heads that they should force me to wear a dress as a dare. I got too embarrassed at the moment they dared me and ended up not doing it however.
At around the same age I also discovered Ranma ½ which I never actually ended up reading. I'm pretty sure I read an advertisement or something and got really excited at the idea of a male character that could transform into a woman. It gave me kind of a warm feeling, I suppose. I then scoured my local bookstore looking for it, but I don't think I ever found it. My father was with me at the time and I refused to tell him what book I was looking for despite spending what seemed like a long time looking. That was incredibly disappointing and I never ended up following up.
I'm pretty sure not long before puberty I would occasionally have dreams of cutting my penis off. It's hard for me to tell why at this point. I think it's because of my religious upbringing and the demonization of masturbation. I hated the fact that I couldn't stop myself and that God hated me because of it. I don't believe that I feel particularly bad toward my penis at this point.
When I was 12 or 13 I started noticing friends going through puberty. I made fun of them at first: ”haha, you have hair on your legs, that's gross!" But then puberty hit me. I had never been fond of my body up until that point, but I largely associate that with me being an overweight child. I would come home at the end of the day in elementary school and literally cry in the shower and punch myself in the stomach in frustration at my ugly body. One day, after starting puberty, I noticed hair on my chest in the mirror and freaked out. I ended up getting a razor and shaving my whole torso. I'm pretty sure at this point I had never shaved before. I was very disappointed with the results. I realized that without hair my body just looked like that of a fat ugly baby.
Probably partly because of this I stopped eating much. I desperately wanted to be skinny or ”petite." I think at one point I was only maybe eating a single hot pocket a day at most. Fortunately, I gave into peer pressure at some point and started eating lunches again and basically went back to eating like normal. I actually had friends at that time because of church and I was never the kind of person to want anyone to worry about me.
For the first couple years of high school I did really well. I was playing tennis competitively. I felt comfortable and like I was always improving. It was a good distraction.
Around the time I turned 16 I got severely depressed because of a few realizations. School was really hard. I started to realize that I was bisexual, but I didn't want to believe it. I stopped believing in god. And I dabbled in thinking about transgenderism but realized that I could never be as cute as I wanted at this point anyway. I got into the unfortunate habit of cutting myself because of how much I just wanted all these thoughts to stop. They gave me so much anxiety. I felt like a freak. I wished I could just be happy with who I was and move on with my life. I had school and whatnot; I didn't have time to constantly be worrying about all these things.
I eventually mellowed out a bit, but my depression ended up getting a lot worse in college. I'm convinced that I've always been at least somewhat depressed and that my sexuality and gender confusion were probably the main reasons. I got the depression treated separately from everything else. I was too embarrassed to mention my sexuality, gender confusion, cutting, and body hatred to anyone. I just told everyone that I pretty much hated myself and that was that. I'm on pills for that now and that seems to be going okay.
I've always taken offense when my mother makes me do something simply because I'm ”the man of the family." I don't want to be ”the man." I've never even wanted to be manly. I don't want muscles, or to be big and strong or anything like that. Right now I feel like a big oaf.
I think Samus Aran, ignoring Other M, is the most badass character. If I wanted to be like anyone it would be her.
I've pretty much felt for a long time that if I could snap my fingers and become a woman, or at least look like one, I would do it in a heartbeat. But that's not the reality of the situation. The reality is harsh and difficult and I'm not convinced that my desires are strong enough for me to be willing to go through all of it. I've managed to live the last couple years contentedly without worrying about it at all. Surely I could keep going like this?
Reading back over this I sound pretty fuckin' transgender. Or at least somewhere in the middle.
More the "cry on puberty" and less "being effeminate", but yes
I'm sorry, I know you don't have to be effeminate. But I kinda wanna be. :/
Edit: Please go easy on me I feel very vulnerable ;_;
Sorry these threads of transracial and people saying trans = being girly as a kid (and that is not saying the transphobic shit we see every day) really bothers me =/
I was never really that effeminate as a kid. Maybe I miswrote? I mostly wanted to be more feminine body type wise. Wearing women's cloths was more about trying to fit in with the girls in my life.. Outside of what I posted I mostly played sports and video games
But I genuinely wish to act more effeminate these days. I know that's gender expression but I thought that was important to how I was feeling. Growing up I was a fairly normal dude.
Edit: Dumb stuff
Edit: Edit: I feel like I'm on an emotional roller coaster. I'm sorry for overreacting to everything D: I'll hopefully be more stable after a night of sleep.
Silvawuff
Member
Driggonny -
It sounds to me like you should reach out to some people you trust, and know personally about this. If you're unhappy with yourself, I can't stress enough that you take steps to find how to be happy with yourself and how you feel as a person.
I really don't think it's "too late" for any person to transition, you just have more challenges and things to work on the older you are (but, on the flipside, you may have a stronger ability to make the funds needed to transition anyway than you would as a preteen). Being yourself often means walking the harder path, and there will be lots of hard decisions for you to make. Or not.
Really look at what it would take for you to be happy and start -- turn that "one day" into "day one."
It sounds to me like you should reach out to some people you trust, and know personally about this. If you're unhappy with yourself, I can't stress enough that you take steps to find how to be happy with yourself and how you feel as a person.
I really don't think it's "too late" for any person to transition, you just have more challenges and things to work on the older you are (but, on the flipside, you may have a stronger ability to make the funds needed to transition anyway than you would as a preteen). Being yourself often means walking the harder path, and there will be lots of hard decisions for you to make. Or not.
Really look at what it would take for you to be happy and start -- turn that "one day" into "day one."
tearsofash
Member
was waiting in line at the Safeway to use the self checkout and someone was like "ma'am you can go next" and made me happpppyyyyyyyy ^.^
So, I ended up having a terrible night's sleep. Like, 8 hours of tossing and turning with an hour at most of actual sleep e.e I guess I was more anxious about this than I realized.
Thank you for the response <3
Honestly, this is the first time I've ever admitted these feelings to anyone before even though I've had them for a long time. I don't know if there's anyone that I trust atm. When I was younger I told a therapist that I thought I was bisexual and he brushed me off and acted like I couldn't possibly know that. It bothered me a lot more than he probably realized. I haven't really felt comfortable talking to anyone about gender or sexuality since. :/ I seem to have developed the motto: "Well, if the feelings persist for a long time then maybe I'm not mistaken and I'll deal with them then"
My biggest barrier seems to be the "male pride" that was instilled in me from how I was raised. I hate it. It keeps me from doing the things that I want and being who I want just because of how I happen to look right now.
I'm not really sure what to do at this point. I'm very busy with schoolwork and wasted half of yesterday writing that post
Edit: lol I'm starting to remember other things. Like how I used to tuck my junk between my legs and pretend not to have it at all. I remembered because I tried to do it earlier today too. I feel like such a fucking idiot for not realizing these things even sooner.
Thank you for the response <3
Honestly, this is the first time I've ever admitted these feelings to anyone before even though I've had them for a long time. I don't know if there's anyone that I trust atm. When I was younger I told a therapist that I thought I was bisexual and he brushed me off and acted like I couldn't possibly know that. It bothered me a lot more than he probably realized. I haven't really felt comfortable talking to anyone about gender or sexuality since. :/ I seem to have developed the motto: "Well, if the feelings persist for a long time then maybe I'm not mistaken and I'll deal with them then"
My biggest barrier seems to be the "male pride" that was instilled in me from how I was raised. I hate it. It keeps me from doing the things that I want and being who I want just because of how I happen to look right now.
I'm not really sure what to do at this point. I'm very busy with schoolwork and wasted half of yesterday writing that post
Edit: lol I'm starting to remember other things. Like how I used to tuck my junk between my legs and pretend not to have it at all. I remembered because I tried to do it earlier today too. I feel like such a fucking idiot for not realizing these things even sooner.
Butterfly Witch
Member
Hey driggonny, if you want I can invite you into a group where you can ask these questions in real time and get answers fairly fast. Just shoot me a PM.
The community is always open to people who are trying to find themselves in this sea of crazy that is life and self.
The community is always open to people who are trying to find themselves in this sea of crazy that is life and self.
Silvawuff
Member
That sounds like a sucky therapist to me. You don't need to prove anything to a therapist about how you feel about yourself or how you identify. Just saying you you identify one way or the other is enough -- and it's often coming to that realization that may be the hardest. When I was first coming out I told my Mum, and she referred me to a church counselor to talk about it. It was a very awkward experience because she wasn't able to provide the support I needed right then. This is why I stress you go to someone who knows what they're talking about, or they have some experience with the subject and can give you a good heading on the "what next."
I personally did a lot of mental homework; years and years of struggling and grasping for why I felt the way I did. I knew the answer the whole time, and it was tremendously liberating to embrace it, rather than continue running from it. Existing in that not sure limbo is a hell I would never wish on anyone, and it's often a place I see other people. I was there once. It's like being locked in a room blindfolded, and you're told there's a key hidden in there to escape. You spend years trying to find it, then one day you reach up and find the key hanging around your neck.
The answer is there, and it's always been close to you.
I personally did a lot of mental homework; years and years of struggling and grasping for why I felt the way I did. I knew the answer the whole time, and it was tremendously liberating to embrace it, rather than continue running from it. Existing in that not sure limbo is a hell I would never wish on anyone, and it's often a place I see other people. I was there once. It's like being locked in a room blindfolded, and you're told there's a key hidden in there to escape. You spend years trying to find it, then one day you reach up and find the key hanging around your neck.
The answer is there, and it's always been close to you.
How about this one :
Christian-run hospital forcing this 5-year-old transgender girl to be a boy
Warning : link makes your blood boil
I kinda want to make a thread about this but I don't want to see the thread about this =P
Yeah, he was a bad therapist. I stopped going to him not long after. I then had a string of poor therapists and just realized that I didn't like having a male therapist in the first place. They tended to treat me like "just one of the dudes" and I didn't like that. I made sure to start going to female therapists and felt like I got much better help from them. They at least seemed understanding and didn't hold me to weird masculine standards
I'm at least grateful that my mother was never the type of person to use our church to solve personal problems.I'm feeling much more comfortable now. I mean, I'm barely sleeping, barely eating, and barely getting any work done, (so I'm feeling kinda terrible) but I at least feel like I've made an important step in understanding myself no matter where I end up. I'm so glad this community exists
And then I see this
lol thanks <3 I hope you never happen to see a picture of me
Eh, can't be any worse than me. :3
LOL I find people who talk so negatively about themselves, almost always aren't nearly as bad as they say they are.
Sides ya'll.
Try being a Lipstick Lesbian who is turning in sets with the big boys at the gym and has veins popping all over.
I can't tell whats stops me from getting more dates, being Trans (who doesn't pass) or being a jacked monster.
Sides ya'll.
Try being a Lipstick Lesbian who is turning in sets with the big boys at the gym and has veins popping all over.
I can't tell whats stops me from getting more dates, being Trans (who doesn't pass) or being a jacked monster.
Terrorblot
Member
I feel like the worst trans ever. I haven't been able to get my Estradiol Valerate prescription filled in like, a month and a half. I've just been taking leftover pills from when I was on them instead, and now those are out too, so I've only been taking Spiro the last week. Everytime I try filling the prescription they tell me no problem but it'll take a day and then 48 hours later they tell me they can't fill it. I've tried Walgreens / CVS / and a local pharmacy and the same thing happens everytime. I know I need to call my doctor and get this figured out but I just keep putting it off and putting it off. :\
Also, to top it all off, when I switched over to injections I was supposed to go back to check levels and I just never went back / got it done, so I've been injecting for like a year now without any idea what my levels are at. And I've been smoking. I don't know how to stop / set everything right.
Also, to top it all off, when I switched over to injections I was supposed to go back to check levels and I just never went back / got it done, so I've been injecting for like a year now without any idea what my levels are at. And I've been smoking. I don't know how to stop / set everything right.
Well what looks good on others never works for us as individuals.
Like I have two very certain people in this thread who fight me everyday saying I look decent but I think I look like an ugly brute (thought the brute part does make me happy) because its just not what I want for me.
Im stuck because I don't know how to get to being me that I both like and is actually obtainable.
Silvawuff
Member
They're probably not able to fill it because there's a big national shortage in the US right now, that's been happening since the middle of last year. I've got enough to last through most of this year and I'm hoping that this'll resolve by then.
I missed my spiro for a day once at the end of my injection cycle, and I crashed pretty hard. I'm absolutely dreading coming off mones for two weeks before SRS.
Driggo - I'm really happy that you're making some important mental headway here! I would search online for a suitable, local therapist that deals specifically with trans-related stuff; your experience will be night and day if you're talking with someone who knows what they're actually talking about. It sounds to me you are ready to start making some important decisions.
Beth - I think you look great, babe, so add me as a third person who will fight you over your looks. I really think subtlety is key when it comes to passing, so if you feel you aren't, maybe try some new clothes, hair, or makeup that doesn't call attention. You'll find no people dressed at a grocery store that look like they're ready to go on a night out. (I'm not saying you do this, this is just a personal thing I've learned in my own experience -- I've gone to the aforementioned store wearing jeans, a sweater, no makeup and had my hair in a bun, and still passed somehow). You have to build confidence in yourself!
I just had my one year anniversary of starting my journey. On March 3rd of 2016 I had my first session with a gender Therapist. Best decision ever. Took me while to come to Terms with who I'm. But it was the best decision ever. Next up a few minor surgeries on my leg an then it's on to HRT.
It's not easy, but I so love my life.
Celebratory Selfie.
And a little Collage of my Journey
It's not easy, but I so love my life.
Celebratory Selfie.
And a little Collage of my Journey
Transition is unique to each and every person.
Results will differ for each one of us