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Young men reveal why so many of them are single: ‘Dates feel more like job interviews’

They do, but the people who are bad at socializing are good at talking about how bad they are.

A lot of the men in the article straight up admit that they just want a casual fuck without accepting that many women don't want to do that, and the ones that do are going to do it with men who are hotter and more successful than those guys are. Both genders have problems identifying what league they are in and how to actually meet people who want the same things that they do.
I agree, I don't think the people in the OP have any idea what they want.

I also have a theory that some guys are actually undateable - as in they are put together and normal enough (even if they seem totally average from the outside) that a woman isn't going to ever want to just date them, they will always consider them long term material and approach the relationship that way from the first date. That guy is complaining about being asked about kids on the first date, but I am willing to bet his emotional intelligence is just very poor and didn't realize she was asking because she is already considering him long term material and was just too excited to stop herself, not that she has some "interview" checklist she was going down. Which funny enough is the opposite situation than many of the comments in the thread - she wasn't part of the 80/20 rule where she was filtering him out immediately and ready to move on to the other 50 matches (which don't get me wrong I fully believe is a thing). She actually was already preparing herself to pick him and meanwhile he is complaining that he can't find anyone. HE is going to be the one at 35 freaking out in an article asking why can't he find a serious relationship, not her lol
 

SlimySnake

Flashless at the Golden Globes
Man I don't think I've ever seen such a piss poor panel in a discussion. The women were awful but so was the other dude. The host had his work cut out for him.
The other dude was worse than all the women combined lol. He straight up started cursing at the girls calling them whores in one clip.

He definitely needs to get smarter women to appear on the panel. He's very smart but the discussion isnt. The problem is that no one in their right mind would go on that show so he gets these onlyfans and instagram models who arent all that bright. Of course, their body count will be higher than the average girls. of course, they are going to be far more entitled than average girls.
 

West Texas CEO

GAF's Nicest Lunch Thief and Nosiest Dildo Archeologist
It's over for straight dudes, just go gay. You'll be happier.
ha-gay-8.gif


Seriously though, do people really think that you can flip sexual orientation like a light switch?

You guys are hilarious and insane. :messenger_grinning_smiling:
 

Thirty7ven

Banned
It’s true, in the states at least women approaching 30 are out there looking for a career when it comes to relationships.

The appfication of relationships has turned it into a data driven enterprise. Robotic shit.
 
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Synless

Member
I don’t envy the future gens.

I teach and mentor my sons to get to know women and how they think now while they are young, be risky with topics to break standard conversation molds, and learn that it’s ok to strike out and not let it hurt your confidence.

My only goal is to make them as comfortable talking to women and find out how to make them laugh while staying out of friend zones. I figure it will be invaluable in these future generations.
 

Fools idol

Banned
I'm hoping by the time my 4 year old 'comes of age' the world will have moved on from social media.

One can hope.

I can't even imagine what the world looks like in 10 years time though but eh.
 

SlimySnake

Flashless at the Golden Globes
I don’t envy the future gens.

I teach and mentor my sons to get to know women and how they think now while they are young, be risky with topics to break standard conversation molds, and learn that it’s ok to strike out and not let it hurt your confidence.

My only goal is to make them as comfortable talking to women and find out how to make them laugh while staying out of friend zones. I figure it will be invaluable in these future generations.
future gens will have robots for companions. everyone will be banging perfect 10 models and then sticking them in the closet at night.
 

Aesius

Member
I can absolutely agree with this. Women do demand more and are much more hesitant to "date down" like many men do. I've noticed so many couples out there where the guy looks very well put together, attractive but the gf is average as hell. Current dating has inflated so many womens ego it's insane. It's not even their fault obviously, it's just how modern dating culture has completely fucked up the dynamics between men and women. Apps like Tinder are a fucking menace.

I especially agee with the part about it feeling like a job interview. Unless you are of the lucky ones and get picked up by a girl instead or both of you randomly have chemistry and things just snowball from there, a single guy trying to put himself out there just gets destroyed by all these rejections. It's not like dating apps will never ever yield results, they will eventually, but you have to have an absurd amount of stamina because you'll be getting rejected a million times or ghosted before you have 1 or 2 serious dates. It's absolutely draining and as a result young men just don't want to deal with it anymore. Other areas in life, like jobs and university, are draining enough. Add the current dating culture and you'll go mental.

Also I want to add something else, the whole Covid thing. I don't know if it's just me, or because I'm not American, but I genuinely cannot understand why the people in the OP keep saying that these developments are because of Covid. This dating issue that mainly fucks over young men has been around for many, MANY more years, Covid has nothing to do with it. I don't like this weird trend of attributting issues in society, that have existed for a far longer amount of time, to the pandemic. Does anyone else feel the same?
I was in high school in the early to mid 00s. Just before social media hit. Back then you could legitimately "discover" attractive, quiet girls who didn't have the inflated egos (which was always a thing among the outgoing popular girls).

My long-term high school GF had a few orbiters around her when we met but they were total nerds. I really had almost no competition when I pursued her because she was somewhat shy and introverted despite being really attractive.

But if we flashed forward 20 years and were in high school, she would probably have a shit ton of social media followers and wouldn't give me the time of day.
 

Jada_Li

Banned
There's always more views to take into consideration than just being fixated on one proposition.

For me personally, I've never dated and have no interest unless there is a genuine connection. However when I do get approached by men I notice the differences in the way they try to woo. One man doesn't want a relationship at all, he just wants to be friends with benefits. Another man asks what's my name, where I'm going, where do I live and what's my number, which are all red flags. Another man calls me a pretty young thing and says I don't have to work and he'll take care of me, but that's not the kind of person I am nor want to be treated like a trophy than a human being, and as Princess Jasmine said, "I'm not a prize to be won." Another man asked if I was single and tried to woo me but after rejection he just told me that I'll regret turning down a man that might have been the one. Sounds like another major red flag and manipulator as I was young too then and he much older. Another man who was the most polite and respectful asked for my number but I declined, at the time; I just wanted to focus on my terminally ill mother, so bad timing plus I thought originally from afar he looked like my dad by the way he dressed but not looked. Another man told me he knew I was lonely and then went on about his whole dating life about how he's so tired of these beautiful girls using and hurting him. Did he really think I lacked self-respect to allow him to basically call me ugly and then proceed that I'm last on his list because he is the one who is in fact lonely and miserable?


Teens learn from a young age that they can use their bodies to get what they want because the world has many weak people and those people always go through issues like that because they are superficial just like the beautiful women or men they want . Of course being beautiful doesn't mean one is superficial but it is rare to find one who is not influenced by the world.

Another man was an undercover gay. Another man tried to impress me by pulling out all of his credit cards...um yeah I'm not that type of woman and that did the exact opposite and didn't impress me at all. If I do end up liking and loving someone it will because of their personality, morals, beliefs, etc, not what they have, how much money they got, and whatever superficial things that don't matter in the end.

Now these are just my personal experiences thus far, mostly bad ones so I can only imagine just how much of this goes on worldwide and that both men and women should have high standards and should never settle. Of course to each their own. I'm happily single and stress free, but if in the future I should meet a man and we're both compatible then sure I would give dating a try. Otherwise it's too many self-centered, controlling and manipulative, superficial men and on the flip side obviously women too.
 
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Madflavor

Member
I think Gen Z might be screwed when they become elderly. The dating scene is fucked right now because a lot of them don't have proper social skills thanks to social media. These kids never had a chance. They were born into social media. Men are more shy than they've ever been, and women's perception on what the ideal man should be is even more unrealistic. On top of that fertility issues are on the rise, and so are the number of young people who are coming out as LGBTQ. I think birth rate amongst Gen Z is going to be staggering low. By far the lowest we've seen in long time. And when these people start growing sick and old, there's going to be a shortage of younger people to take care of them.

When it comes to men finding women for companionship and marriage, unless you're handsome, charismatic or bringing in a lot of money, you have to lower you expectations on a girl's looks. You have to. Average looking women know they're average and they're expectations for an ideal guy are going to be more realistic than the prettier women. A good companion, a stable family, and children, are far more important and rewarding than 1-2 minutes of thrusting into some drunk hot girl who's got a shit personality.
 
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EviLore

Expansive Ellipses
Staff Member
I was in high school in the early to mid 00s. Just before social media hit. Back then you could legitimately "discover" attractive, quiet girls who didn't have the inflated egos (which was always a thing among the outgoing popular girls).

My long-term high school GF had a few orbiters around her when we met but they were total nerds. I really had almost no competition when I pursued her because she was somewhat shy and introverted despite being really attractive.

But if we flashed forward 20 years and were in high school, she would probably have a shit ton of social media followers and wouldn't give me the time of day.
It's true that any decent looking girl will get a disproportionate amount of attention on social media now, but as a guy you can jump ahead of a hundred DMs by having good IRL social skills and the balls to approach.
 

Ryu1999

Member
It's true that any decent looking girl will get a disproportionate amount of attention on social media now, but as a guy you can jump ahead of a hundred DMs by having good IRL social skills and the balls to approach.

Considering the younger generation purportedly has panic attacks about telephone calls, even passable IRL skills are going to make any average guy look like a Chad
 
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Fuz

Banned
I was in high school in the early to mid 00s. Just before social media hit. Back then you could legitimately "discover" attractive, quiet girls who didn't have the inflated egos (which was always a thing among the outgoing popular girls).

My long-term high school GF had a few orbiters around her when we met but they were total nerds. I really had almost no competition when I pursued her because she was somewhat shy and introverted despite being really attractive.

But if we flashed forward 20 years and were in high school, she would probably have a shit ton of social media followers and wouldn't give me the time of day.
Pics or didn't happen.
 

OZ9000

Banned
To be honest it is exactly a job interview. Especially when you're looking for "the one" to settle down with. What can you offer. What can she offer? But yes the current dating scene is pretty bad and social media has warped women's perceptions drastically. I don't know why some women thing they're god's gift to earth when they look more like a gift to Doritos.
 

FunkMiller

Gold Member
Get your shit together. Get off your arse, and actually go out and meet women. Yeah, you’ll strike out. But then again, maybe you won’t…

And stop with the ‘casual hook up’ shit. Women don’t want that, and they never fucking have.

Honest to god, young men these days seem like such whiny fucking bitches. Getting a good woman takes effort, patience, and above everything else: good intentions on your part.
 

INC

Member
Online dating is purely stacked in the woman's favor

I have a lot of girl mates, ranging from average looking, to stunning looking, all get the same result using dating apps like tinder etc etc, they can start a new account and have 100s of likes within a day, and therefore abundance of choice.

It's not the same the other way round, from the dudes PoV.

It's a catch 22 when approaching women irl as well, since the line between confident and creep is slim, especially when you add the above situation in context as well I.e abundance of options at their finger tips
 

Pejo

Gold Member
If 63% of men under 30 report being single, wouldn't it be a somewhat similar % for women or are they all dating the elderly?
I couldn't find the graph, but essentially on dating apps at lest, the top 5% of the men are banging the top 20% of the women or something. This was a Tinder metric, so it was less about relationships than just banging, but you'd have to assume that the data extrapolates from there and there are probably dudes with 2-3 girlfriends who may or may not know about each other.
 

Hip Hop

Member
Dating apps are a woman market.

If you get 2000 woman to react on your tinder profile, u will start selecting the top % of woman. This is exactly what woman are doing as that's exactly what they are getting.

And can u blame them?, in todays society without a guy with good income u will be living a poor life. Inflation is so high and everything else u will be lucky if u can even mimic your mothers situation or live in the neighborhood u grew up in.

For the common guy with average income or below, u basically are sol on those apps. Better starts roaming around colleges and friends to see if there is still one available. This is also the best way to date outside of dating apps.
What the fuck can a 30 year old guy do besides walking around colleges trying to date girls 10 years younger than me and I also don't want to go to a bar as that is also like Tinder and apps in culture imo, lots of hookups happening that I don't want


Im ready to start going to church tbh maybe someone there?🤷🏻‍♂️
 

Nobody_Important

“Aww, it’s so...average,” she said to him in a cold brick of passion
Woman took over. It’s not even anymore.
It's never been "even" between genders. It's always come down to looks, money, and physical build. For both genders obviously , but moreso in favor of the woman in recent decades. The idea that there was ever a time where the genders were equal when it comes to dating and relationships in general is a myth.


This is obviously ignoring the dark ages of society when women were little more than objects and property. Men were clearly in charge at that time to the detriment of women. Luckily we have moved on from that.
 
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Winter John

Member
We had to get a new babysitter because our last one moved. We eventually found a girl who seemed cool so I went to meet her and she goes where's your wife and kid? I said I didn't bring those cock blockers
 

-Minsc-

Member
Definitely not.

The internet now allows folks to troll through the largest dating pool possible for the most superficial characteristics imaginable. If all you are doing is basing your dating on "swipe right/left" and filters exist only to bias that decision, no wonder the dating scene has gone to shit. Used to be dating site profiles FORCED you to fill out shit like "do you want kids" etc so the long term relationship hunters (the primary focus of these sites back in the day) could properly vet partners. Now it seems like hook-up culture has thoroughly invaded these sites to the point where "meat market" is a totally apt description. Actually cold approaching someone with romantic intent is virtually assault these days :p
Having left porn consumption behind I can say what you wrote sounds very similar to porn addiction. And endless pool of potential mates to overload our brain. At the end of the day they remain nothing more than potential.
What the fuck can a 30 year old guy do besides walking around colleges trying to date girls 10 years younger than me and I also don't want to go to a bar as that is also like Tinder and apps in culture imo, lots of hookups happening that I don't want


Im ready to start going to church tbh maybe someone there?🤷🏻‍♂️
I went to church and now I'm married.
 

Dirk Benedict

Gold Member
I think people are so self absorbed through social media that they don't really know themselves or what they want. They want a rich person or something they see on TV.

This. The masses, having been locked in for so long... all that junk in front of their faces. It's not even the good internet, where it was once an unfiltered wild-west type deal.
It's monetized, gatekept, ideological and moraless in a dark way.
I miss the days when computers were only for nerds
I remember Nerd being an insult and being called one for simply owning an Nintendo.
Now, insanely hot girls refer to themselves as nerds simply for being into marvel/anime/disney/video games.

There were barely any hot fucking nerds back in the day, if any, and by back in the day, I mean let's rewind the clocks back to the 80s.

Also... fuck Vibes. I feel this generation is grabbing a hold of anything that was awesome in the past and straight ruining it... but, that is for another topic.
 
Shouldn't these numbers tell us something, then? Which is, not to base your dating prospects on dating apps?

Human beings, both men and women, always had these preferences even before the advent of the internet, but somehow we still found a way to pro-create. Technology only shone the light on our nature.

So I believe the problem isn't necessarily women in the dating pool, as much as it is technology broadcasting our worst traits and putting into stone, so to speak. It reinforces our negatives beliefs on the opposite sex, giving fuel to the flame.

Technology is the problem.
 
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Darkmakaimura

Can You Imagine What SureAI Is Going To Do With Garfield?
My appearance and intelligence and personality makes it more like winning a lottery to me.

I gave up. I don't bother with trying to pick up on women anymore or anything like that and I have no interest to either. I already have too much on my plate and I would be too much of a burden.

I don't think I'll ever have a girlfriend or date again but I'm okay with that.
 

Tams

Member
I agree, I don't think the people in the OP have any idea what they want.

I also have a theory that some guys are actually undateable - as in they are put together and normal enough (even if they seem totally average from the outside) that a woman isn't going to ever want to just date them, they will always consider them long term material and approach the relationship that way from the first date. That guy is complaining about being asked about kids on the first date, but I am willing to bet his emotional intelligence is just very poor and didn't realize she was asking because she is already considering him long term material and was just too excited to stop herself, not that she has some "interview" checklist she was going down. Which funny enough is the opposite situation than many of the comments in the thread - she wasn't part of the 80/20 rule where she was filtering him out immediately and ready to move on to the other 50 matches (which don't get me wrong I fully believe is a thing). She actually was already preparing herself to pick him and meanwhile he is complaining that he can't find anyone. HE is going to be the one at 35 freaking out in an article asking why can't he find a serious relationship, not her lol

Then she should just fucking say that. If she can't help but blurt out about kids, then she's can say 'I'm looking for a long term relationship'.

But alas, many women tend to not be direct and a fair few men oblivious. The difference is that there former can be quite easily fixed, but the latter not.
 

PSYGN

Member
Social media made many women absolutely delusional and some men very hateful. The internet in general is a blight on human existence now, fuck the tech industry and everything about it, I wish we could all go back using only forums.

I know it's anecdotal but I find it made men more hateful than women. They have communities around this strange/hateful/perverse view of women, it's weird.
 
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yeah, I work with a few women who are currently single because of their lofty expectations.
The funny thing is, they don't give a fuck - they'd rather be single than to set realistic dating standards for themselves. 😮

I see a lot of lonely people coming in the next 10-20 years+ .

They'll regret it when they are in their fifties and surrounded by their army of cats.
 

EviLore

Expansive Ellipses
Staff Member
It's never been "even" between genders. It's always come down to looks, money, and physical build. For both genders obviously , but moreso in favor of the woman in recent decades. The idea that there was ever a time where the genders were equal when it comes to dating and relationships in general is a myth.


This is obviously ignoring the dark ages of society when women were little more than objects and property. Men were clearly in charge at that time to the detriment of women. Luckily we have moved on from that.
Even back in the day, young men would go sign up to fight in wars on the other side of the world to make their name, have a chance at status and fortune, or die trying, so that they could get established and therefore marry. It’s never been easy for men. The ones in power were a tiny minority.

This is our lot in life. At least we have an unprecedented level of agency and opportunity in the modern world.
 
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