• Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.

Young men reveal why so many of them are single: ‘Dates feel more like job interviews’

TuxedoSammy

TuxedoSammy

Banned
nush said:
OIP-C.bukHAosisOetBHFofpDrsgHaEK


Vote now, trolling, larping incel or just mental?

R-C.57e5efb6836dd50a7fbb5bf5de0f2359
Click to expand...
"Mingling" doesn't mean committed relationship of thirty years. It can mean a week. I've already specified in a prior post.

Take a good look at your guy friends when they're not around their gfs. You know they're trash and that my experiences are not far-fetched at all.
 
Jsisto

Jsisto

Member
TuxedoSammy said:
"Mingling" doesn't mean committed relationship of thirty years. It can mean a week. I've already specified in a prior post.

Take a good look at your guy friends when they're not around their gfs. You know they're trash and that my experiences are not far-fetched at all.
Click to expand...
Sheesh. And I thought I was jaded. I’m truly sorry that you’ve been surrounded by such shitty people, but you have no idea what goes on in healthy relationships, nor do you speak for all woman. Men and woman are both capable of shitty behavior, and you only speak from one perspective.
 
Last edited:
TuxedoSammy

TuxedoSammy

Banned
Jsisto said:
Sheesh. And I thought I was jaded. I’m truly sorry that you’ve been surrounded by such shitty people, but you have no idea what goes on in healthy relationships, nor do you speak for all woman. Men and woman are both capable of shitty behavior, and you only speak from one perspective.
Click to expand...
No, that's just not reality. Women do not act as shitty as men do. I'm around mostly men, sure, but I've been around plenty of women. They don't alter their personality when he leaves the room to make a "joke" or some side-comment to bag on their SO like I witness men doing all the time. That's literally apart of men's culture, not women's. lol Denial is delusion.

I spit the truth based on reality, not biases. If it wasn't true, I wouldn't say it.
 
Jsisto

Jsisto

Member
TuxedoSammy said:
No, that's just not reality. Women do not act as shitty as men do. I'm around mostly men, sure, but I've been around plenty of women. They don't alter their personality when he leaves the room to make a "joke" or some side-comment to bag on their SO like I witness men doing all the time. That's literally apart of men's culture, not women's. lol Denial is delusion.

I spit the truth based on reality, not biases. If it wasn't true, I wouldn't say it.
Click to expand...
Your reality. Women don’t complain about their husbands/boyfriends among their friends? Don’t make me laugh. If you dislike men so much I can’t imagine why you’re on neogaf of all places, and at this point im half convinced you’re just trolling for reactions so I’m not going to engage further lol.
 
TuxedoSammy

TuxedoSammy

Banned
Jsisto said:
Your reality. Women don’t complain about their husbands/boyfriends among their friends? Don’t make me laugh. If you dislike men so much I can’t imagine why you’re on neogaf of all places, and at this point im half convinced you’re just trolling for reactions so I’m not going to engage further lol.
Click to expand...
No, they don't. Not in the way men do. Venting and talking about problems is not the same as saying things like "You know how vaginas are, you can't reason with them." --An actual quote from my ex-bf's brother who was validated by other guys in the Discord.

No, this is not my only reference. It's just one of many.
 
Beastclaw Raider

Beastclaw Raider

Banned
TuxedoSammy said:
No, that's just not reality. Women do not act as shitty as men do. I'm around mostly men, sure, but I've been around plenty of women. They don't alter their personality when he leaves the room to make a "joke" or some side-comment to bag on their SO like I witness men doing all the time. That's literally apart of men's culture, not women's. lol Denial is delusion.

I spit the truth based on reality, not biases. If it wasn't true, I wouldn't say it.
Click to expand...
You spit the truth based of your experiences and biases. It is true, to you, but it doesnt make it anymore true

Sorry to say but myself, and my friends, dont do any of the shit you've just listed. I open doors and the car door to my girlfriend even after years we've been together, I take care of her when she's sick, I always tell the truth even if sometimes it means a dispute could happen. I treat her like my queen and she treats my like her king. We NEVER talk shit about each other, we NEVER do anything publicly to diminish the other, we ALWAYS respect each other.

I could spill some shit about women I've dated in the past and generalise women, too, but they were just terrible bitches, nothing more.
 
Last edited:
TuxedoSammy

TuxedoSammy

Banned
Beastclaw Raider said:
You spit the truth based of your experiences and biases. It is true, to you, but it doesnt make it anymore true

Sorry to say but myself, and my friends, dont do any of the shit you've just listed. I open doors and the car door to my girlfriend even after years we've been together, I take care of her when she's sick, I always tell the truth even if sometimes it means a dispute could happen. I treat her like my queen and she treats my like her king. We NEVER talk shit about each other, we NEVER do anything publicly to diminish the other, we ALWAYS respect each other.

I could spill some shit about women I've dated in the past and generalise women, too, but they were just terrible bitches, nothing more.
Click to expand...
If what you say is true, you're extremely rare.
 
nush

nush

Member
TuxedoSammy said:
No, that's just not reality. Women do not act as shitty as men do. I'm around mostly men, sure, but I've been around plenty of women. They don't alter their personality when he leaves the room to make a "joke" or some side-comment to bag on their SO like I witness men doing all the time. That's literally apart of men's culture, not women's. lol Denial is delusion.

I spit the truth based on reality, not biases. If it wasn't true, I wouldn't say it.
Click to expand...

Toxic femininity off the scale.
 
Go_Ly_Dow

Go_Ly_Dow

Member
This sounds like a stealth brag, but its not and more so tips.

I get a lot of girls, many quite attractive and well educated going out their way to like, match or message me first on dating apps. I am by no means a stud, I'm of Indian appearance living in the UK, so not native looks, about 5'10, have a fairly big nose and regular short/mid length hair.

I think what helps is, firstly photos. Choose photos that show you doing something interesting, like outside somewhere with half decent clothes, well framed, with friends, family, your pets, on a trip, anything active, just not selfies of you inside your home.

Secondly info, be honest, my profile states I someday want kids, I want a relationship (not flings). You want to attract someone that wants the same things. I don't put any politics in my profile, most girls don't want to discuss politics and if they do, they're probably radical and best to avoid. Include a bit about your interests and maybe something cool you've done, but don't put too much and give it all the way. Make them curious about you.

Thirdly and probably more controversial, but, age, I'm 32 and I avoid women under lets 26. The majority of women don't want to tie themselves down until their lates 20s/early 30s in these times. I also find it a bit easier to connect with South Asian, East Asian and some Eastern European girls as they tend to have more traditional values and want the same things. Western girls do too, but many are more liberal and play hard to get and I can't be bothered with what sometimes feels like having to beg for their attention.

Also be quite direct, you don't want to be chatting on just the dating apps for days/weeks. If you're both connecting, ask to chat on a messaging service, like messenger or whatsapp and ask them out on dates and meet them over coffee first if they seem cautious and something more fun too for those who want it as much as you.
 
Last edited:
QSD

QSD

Member
One thing I've started doing to avoid the "job interview" syndrome, is refuse any offer for a coffee date. Those are always the worst. Either we're doing something fun, or we're not doing this.
 
Chiggs

Chiggs

Gold Member
TuxedoSammy said:
My recent ex-bf; he's bipolar. That's a great excuse for the depression and ghosting, not so much the lying. He's a pro at masking and pretending to be someone else. He mirrored me. I thought he was kind, and he was always receptive to my opinions and thoughts, even the silly pointless ones. He was mostly liberal where it mattered most to me. Our interests and overall beliefs aligned.

Then I learned who he really was four months into our relationship, when he ghosted me for the first time. He wouldn't respond to my messages, so I tried to find him. I genuinely was worried he killed himself. We're long-distance, so it's not like I can show up to his house at any time I wanted to. I do know his address, but I live in America and he lives in Australia. With a trail of things he told me, I found his Twitter he never explicitly told me. In it I found not only was he still alive, but he was a really angry, more right-leaning person than I thought. I learned he lied about beliefs he had, such as agreeing abortion should be at the woman's discretion. He's actually very vehemently against abortion.

He stopped ghosting me after nearly two months. As much as I was angry, I was far too understanding of his mental illness and lies, but also, my own mental illness kept me addicted to him like a drug addict because I've never been as mentally stimulated by anyone else before. The dopamine was like crack.

I started to learn over time how he'd lie and dodge questions by either not answering or strategically answering with a "loophole." Saying something that's similar to answering the question, but it really wasn't. Having longterm experience with liars, I developed protective strategies to filter them out. He still failed them.

He's never directly insulted me, but he didn't have to dismantle me with his way of using me, discarding me, and constantly lying to me. At his core, no, I don't think he genuinely wants to hurt me, but he does so anyway. He suffered a lot of trauma and abuse in his adolescence, which has translated to a very fucked up person. I think he has narcissistic tendencies, as I believe his parents are narcs themselves.

While his trauma and mental illness may be valid reasons for why he is the way he is, my other three bfs were liars as well in a similar way, sans mental illness. They lied because they, ironically, didn't want to hurt me, or because they felt inadequate and insecure, or because they didn't want to disappoint me. It's strange, because I don't throw a tantrum or get upset when they are open and honest. It's only after I have to pull-teeth to get the truth after an entire elaborate ruse that I get upset. And even so, there's only been one bf who I raised my voice to, and it wasn't my last bf (not counting that one time with another bf I screamed because he kept refusing to relinquish my WoW pass after he set parental controls on it with his email, which not even a phone call to Blizz could remedy).

I've seen this common experience in TwoXChromosomes on Reddit too. It's like lying is the standard man's communication technique because he doesn't want to process emotions or experience an emotion he *THINKS* will happen. So he blankets it by making something that either isn't a big deal or will have little consequence with adequate communication, and makes it so much worse The irony is that it ends up destroying the relationship's trust and reliability, inevitably causing a break-up, rather than just admitting his fault and sitting in it temporarily until it's resolved via communicated options.

I'm well aware men develop emotionally slower than women and they perpetuate a culture that denies the expression of emotions, but y'all are fucking yourselves and your own relationships up. Let mom hug you, even if dad calls you a pussy. Yer dad is just a dickhead.
Click to expand...

Holy moly. That is indeed a doozy. Sorry to hear you went through that. :(

The stuff about your other boyfriends lying to "not hurt you" is spot on, too. One of my best-friends was like that in his first marriage...a complete liar because he didn't want to disappoint his richer, more successful wife. You'll be shocked to hear that the marriage didn't last when his wife got wind of the truth...including, ironically, his inflated liberal beliefs, which he, of course, espoused in front of her and her friends. :messenger_tears_of_joy:
 
O

OZ9000

Banned
I found my wife on an app - known for 6 years, married for 4. First date was pretty much like a job interview. It was probably my job that sealed the deal. In truth I'm quite lucky to have her - she works full time yet juggles with raising my son, keeping the house clean tidy, and cooks regularly. Whilst I contribute, I admit she does the fair share of the heavy lifting in the house - I mostly just work albeit 55-60 hours weekly. My ex (prior to meeting my wife) however very much was your typical modern day girl who doesn't know how to cook and complained at every opportunity of doing household chores - final straw was when she told me 'my money is my money, your money is our money'. Lmao, fuck off.
 
Last edited:
DeepEnigma

DeepEnigma

Gold Member
Moneal said:
It shows that men have to be less picky in today's dating market. You can be picky because you are older, and financially successful already. Most guys in their 20s don't have that luxury.
Click to expand...
No, they don't.

EviLore EviLore as well as others outlined simple steps you need to do as a man. Focus on self improvement, have a charming personality, etc..

It all starts from your mental faculty and how you conduct yourself. I've seen some ugly men with hot ass women. Get out there and actually talk to women, not rely on regressive swiping hookup apps that serve only one purpose.

The thing is, people don't want to put in the work anymore, so you attract how you act.
 
D

demon

I don't mean to alarm you but you have dogs on your face
TuxedoSammy said:
No, that's just not reality. Women do not act as shitty as men do. I'm around mostly men, sure, but I've been around plenty of women. They don't alter their personality when he leaves the room to make a "joke" or some side-comment to bag on their SO like I witness men doing all the time. That's literally apart of men's culture, not women's. lol Denial is delusion.

I spit the truth based on reality, not biases. If it wasn't true, I wouldn't say it.
Click to expand...
Ah yes, "my personal experience is data while your personal experience is anecdotal!". Your experience does not reflect reality at large. My experience? The shit talking about men and trying to find as many faults as possible in their friends' new partners regardless of how good they are is off the fucking charts from what I see. It happens in my girlfriend's group of friends/peers for sure, and sometimes it's baffling. Now, they're all well traveled PhD students, some of whom are quite attractive, and I understand them having some sort of higher than average standards, but their shit certainly stinks too. They go digging for little things to complain about in each others' partners and reasons for why they're not literally perfect, and it's clearly an exercise in building each other up to feel better about themselves. It becomes an echo chamber of "You're an amazing queen and no man is good enough for you!" Imagine what that does to their expectations and standards. A perfect example of toxic femininity, and I know this is not just my own personal experience observing women doing their thing together. Could that possibly have something to do with all the data that shows the average woman has standards that are wildly (and just downright statistically) unrealistic? :pie_thinking::pie_thinking:

I virtually never hear guys shit talking their girlfriends or their friends' girlfriends outside of complaining about nagging or whatever, or perhaps the kind of aforementioned toxic crap, but never speaking badly about the women themselves by putting them down. Then again I'm generally not surrounded by angry 20 year old alt-righters who listen to Andrew Tate. I'm convinced this kind of shit you're talking about happens on a regular basis in womens' heads more than anywhere else. The fucking imagination some women have is unbelievable. The "her: I bet he's thinking of other girls - him: I wonder what ET's poo smells like" memes didn't come out of no where.

Now, don't get me wrong. My girlfriend tells me stories about all the horrible guys out there on dating sites and how happy she is to not have to use them anymore (we met in real life). But women can have their own flavor of horribleness, too. Those two things are not mutually exclusive, and when it comes to the Overton window of gender relations/relationships/dating/etc, the latter tends to get swept under the rug. It is one really lumpy rug.
 
Sonik

Sonik

Member
TuxedoSammy said:
No, that's just not reality. Women do not act as shitty as men do. I'm around mostly men, sure, but I've been around plenty of women. They don't alter their personality when he leaves the room to make a "joke" or some side-comment to bag on their SO like I witness men doing all the time. That's literally apart of men's culture, not women's. lol Denial is delusion.

I spit the truth based on reality, not biases. If it wasn't true, I wouldn't say it.
Click to expand...

I'm sure anyone who has been in a workplace that is majority women can attest that this is one of the dumbest posts in existence. The backstabbing and drama I witnessed there was almost comical
 
W

Woggleman

Member
Men and women are both people so therefore both have the capacity to be awful.

Society has reverted back to grade school and when everybody was eeew boys or eeew girls. We are supposed to have matured past that point by pre teens.
 
TuxedoSammy

TuxedoSammy

Banned
Sonik said:
I'm sure anyone who has been in a workplace that is majority women can attest that this is one of the dumbest posts in existence. The backstabbing and drama I witnessed there was almost comical
Click to expand...
I never said women can't be cunts. I've seen a lot of those too. I just think on average women tend to be less assholey, especially after their brains fully develop.

I don't really like people in general, regardless of how they identify.
 
Jsisto

Jsisto

Member
The amount of young women who look to astrology to guide their dating lives alone surely has to be enough to cancel out any bad things men might have said about a woman.
 
TuxedoSammy

TuxedoSammy

Banned
Jsisto said:
The amount of young women who look to astrology to guide their dating lives alone surely has to be enough to cancel out any bad things men might have said about a woman.
Click to expand...
I agree that shit is stupid, but I think it's just an example of how desperate women are to find an actual good guy because there are so few of them.
 
StreetsofBeige

StreetsofBeige

Gold Member
For those of you doing online dating apps, if you want more women checking/viewing your profile then enter a salary into the income metric.

Women love the money.

When I did Match.com back in the mid 2010s, they used to have an income filter. You could leave it blank and ignore if you want. But it also had designated choices like 0-35,000, 35,000-50,000, 50,000-75,000 etc.... you get the idea. They got rid of the filter soon after I stopped using the service. Maybe its back but I dont know.

When I first signed up I ignored that metric as it's a personal thing and I didnt think women really cared since I filed out honestly just about every other box. I'd get hits here and there and also got some dates out of it.

I then activated the income metric and chose one of the $100,000+ filters (true info too as I dont BS on dating apps). I chose the one that said either $100-125k or $100-150k. I forget.

Guess what? Suddenly my inbox is getting tons of views literally overnight. When someone views your profile, a red icon with a number on it would show up on your mailbox icon. The number means how many checked out your profile. So instead of going daily with 0 or maybe 1 view here and there, suddenly every day I'm getting 5-6 views from different women for 3 weeks straight.

So it shows tons of superficial women choose a salary filter for their search preference. I never did that.

So if any dating apps have an income filter, choose a good salary and watch your views skyrocket.
 
Last edited:
D

demon

I don't mean to alarm you but you have dogs on your face
TuxedoSammy said:
I agree that shit is stupid, but I think it's just an example of how desperate women are to find an actual good guy because there are so few of them.
Click to expand...
Women are into this astrology horseshit for more than finding dates. It's an embarrassingly stupid thing to be into on any serious level and using it to guide your dating decisions is a distinctly woman thing to do. But yeah sure the real reason is because of how awful men are. Did I stumble into r/TwoXChromosomes?
 
Cyberpunkd

Cyberpunkd

Member
AJUMP23 said:
I think people are so self absorbed through social media that they don't really know themselves or what they want. They want a rich person or something they see on TV.
Click to expand...
No? Read the article posted - women closer to their 30s are looking for long-term relationship and starting a family, guys who can have kids in their 50s and 60s want to smash. The expectations are totally different and guys are the ones whining they cannot get some pussy.
 
TuxedoSammy

TuxedoSammy

Banned
demon said:
Women are into this astrology horseshit for more than finding dates. It's an embarrassingly stupid thing to be into on any serious level and using it to guide your dating decisions is a distinctly woman thing to do. But yeah sure the real reason is because of how awful men are. Did I stumble into r/TwoXChromosomes?
Click to expand...
Women utilize astrology all facets of life they want to attain hope for a successful future, that includes relationships. I also believe that relationships are the gateway for many to astrology, as my first encounter with it was in astrological horoscopes in magazines.

I've delved a little bit into astrology myself to determine my compatibility with other types of men, just for funsies. But I never took it too seriously.

People also believe in silly things like religion and god, which is within the same realm.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

So, how can we fix dating for men?
2 3 4
188
8K
Lord Panda replied
Ridley Scott interview - sharks in the colosseum, Maximus returning from the afterlife to kill Jesus Christ, asleep at the wheel for Prometheus
45
2K
dem replied
Is modern dating supposed to be *this* hard?
2 3
139
8K
arkhamguy123 replied
The Callisto Protocol 2 Plans Discussed by Former Director; Mentions Cut Bosses & Enemies, How They Wanted More Time
News Drama Game Dev 2
81
5K
violence replied
I feel like everything about my body is denying my current job at this point
19
1K
sono replied
Top Bottom